2013 June

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The Coconut Telegraph

Anonyomous letters to the editor with pictures

The Original Unsocial Media – Daily Since 2002

Classified Ads     Bulletin Board     Business Directory      Contact Us      Menu    
[Old Folks Home] In reference to the assisted living facility. We should look into using Marathon Manor a former nursing home. We do own this already. It has been vacant for several years and a prime example of taxpayer waste.

[Zip Line A Loser] The C.P.H. team claims a zipline will cost about $85 per ride. First: Kids and outdoor types will go swimming with the dolphins before going zipping for $85 each. So lets see, 10,000 zippers will be $850,000. Now, how long before 10,000 zippers go zipping? Lets say 10 zippers a day, that’ll take 2.74 years. Good! 10 per day makes $850. $850 X 365 days is $310,250 a year. Wow! Check my math. 3 years is $930.750. So in just 3 years $930.750. Holy Crap! Take away the up keep and the pay for the staff and it could work.

I’m really confused now. With10 employees at $35,000 each, a year, comes to $350.000 a year. For 3 years $350.000 goes out & $310,250 comes in. That is a loss of $119,250 over 3 years or $39,750 a year. 10 zippers a day don’t get it and I doubt they’ll do that. Up keep? Humm … more loss.

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.   

[Spy v. Spy] Sources says if Snowden isn’t afforded safe access from Moscow to Cuba that he’ll give Putin the secret recipe for Twinkies.


[Old Folks Home] Mayor Cates was on the radio this morning and was really being a good sport about that vote on the senior care issue not passing! I wonder if maybe the Truman Village Assisted Living organization that fought so hard for it should investigate the sale of Peary Court and try to work something out there. It has not been sold yet and the City of Key West was never really offered the property. In fact the proposed sale so far has bypassed normal GSA excessing rules somehow and the public never got a fair shot at it. If they had , perhaps they might have it as an economic or socially important conveyance at a much reduced rate and perhaps put some other badly needed projects there and keeping some of it as affordable housing. Perhaps they should work together to try this possibility. It’s not like we need more high end gated communities.




[“Non profits are thieves and bloodsuckers”] All employees of non-profits pay taxes on their earnings and the business pays employment taxes. I hope an unsuspecting “blood sucking” Girl Scout doesn’t ring your doorbell offering Thin Mints. However, if you are ever in need of assistance, I hope a volunteer firefighter “thief” saves your home while a Boy Scout saves your life with the first aid and CPR skills he learned from the American Red Cross. Cheer up!

[Grinder Pumps are Bad] The fix is in. What’s new? Someone paid someone to start this grinder pump “solution” proposal.  Unless you are flushing very hard solids or something like disposable diapers (that no one with any common sense would do) you don’t need to “grind” your liquid and soft waste.   The pumps are not needed and will cost the homeowner big bucks from start to finish as they will have to pay to buy, install and pay additional electric bills to power the pump, pay more annually to maintain the pump, and then again another large expense to replace the pump as it probably designed to fail in a few years.   Just another big Bubba payola rip off with the homeowner/taxpayer paying through the nose (or perhaps the anus) for this latest fiasco.  We, the homeowners in the Keys are at the mercy of the FKAA, their so called consultants and hired guns outside engineering firms, and the contractors who are standing by to make millions of of our pockets.   

Make no mistake, the fix is in.  And we will pay and pay and pay until we can’t pay anymore and then have to leave our homes and what used to be our little piece of paradise that has become nothing but a huge ripoff for the average homeowner.  

FEMA is into our pockets, wind storm insurance  is into our pockets, FKAA is into our pockets and Monroe County is into our pockets at every opportunity they can get away with.  (Speaking to fellow board members: “Hey, here’s a good idea fellow Commissioners, while our homeowners are struggling to make a living, and the sewer mandate expense is now at $4500 per home, not to mention the hook-up costs,  and additional costs of putting their perfectly usable septic tank out of service, let’s take a few more million out of their pockets and buy a marina in the upper Keys.  Hey what could go wrong.  Never mind about the Hickory House”).

Yeah, folks, the fix is in and we’re gonna pay and pay and pay big time. 

[Sewers] Other than a report by someone with an axe to grind, there is no evidence that the grinder pump/gravity hybrid system is any worse than an all gravity system. And even if it was, it should have been brought up before the pipes started to go in the ground.

Instead of complaining about something that is not going to change, how about complaining about the outrageous permit charges that the County is gouging us with. They make us hook into the sewer system and then we have to pay them for the privilege of paying a plumber for doing the work. It’s even more costly if you have a grinder pump.

sand pudding25Oh my gosh! How about a Sand Pudding for a summer party dessert? Imagine the faces, especially if served in a sand bucket with a play shovel.
1 pkg Vanilla Wafers
2 Oreos
8 oz Cream Cheese
¼ C Butter
⅔ C powdered sugar
2 small pkgs French Vanilla pudding mix
2¾ C Milk
12 oz Cool Whip

Add Vanilla Wafers and 2 Oreos to your food processor and crush until they resemble sand. In a small bowl, cream together softened 8 oz cream cheese, butter, and powdered sugar. In another larger bowl, mix pudding with milk. Add Pudding mixture to the cream cheese mixture. Fold in all of the Cool Whip. Layer into bucket or cat box in this order: sand, pudding, sand, pudding, etc and end with sand. Allow to chill in fridge at least one hour before serving.

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.

The Supermoon was very cool, especially with the reflection in the thin clouds. Has anyone blamed global warming for this, yet?

[“Climate Fail Guy”] “That the left has so thoroughly corrupted it’s integrity is a crime that should not go unpunished.” So, now you are the Sheriff, and you and your cronies are going clean things up? Damn, it sounds just like a redneck post-segregation talk. 

[Redux] What happens if you wring a wet towel while in orbit? An interesting experiment aboard the International Space Station. Video

nira tocco realtor 9.12

[Sewers] In answer to “who owns the grinder pump company?” Surprise surprise it’s a subsidiary right in Marathon, FL. I’m betting a few well-known bubbas are heavily invested because the bid process for the pumps eliminated every other company from bidding. Detailed specifications were required, that only Enviro-One offered (including a less horsepower requirement than other companies use for their pumps). Link

 Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.   




The Banana Song (Twinkies with eyes). Link

Twinkies and Hostess cupcakes will be returning to store shelves next month. Oh boy, more junk is back!

[Climate Fail Guy] “Climate change is not a scientific movement and it never has been. It is an ideological movement.” Everyday I pray that we are not killing our planet and hope that the ocean won’t be climbing up my stairs. Being sanctimonious will not win my heart. Data means nothing without rigor. Many of us do not buy your refusenik line of logic. There is no “side” when our collective future is at stake, and you refuse to have a reasonable discourse. You are promoting “truthiness.” Link



[Army Defeated by Insurgents] June 25, 1876. Lt. Col. George Custer and 263 soldiers under his command were killed by Cheyenne and Sioux insurgents in the Battle of Little Bighorn.

[Public Meeting] NOAA’s Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary will hold a public meeting of the Sanctuary Advisory Council in Islamorada, Fla., on Tuesday, July 9.

This meeting features presentations related to the sanctuary’s marine zoning and regulatory review, including updates from each of the three advisory council working groups in the morning. At 12:30 p.m., Roy Crabtree, administrator of NOAA Fisheries Service Southeast Region; and Jessica McCawley, director of Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission Division of Marine Fisheries Management, will present on south Florida fisheries management. Bulletin Board

an cat



CheapShots will be in the Keys this weekend doing low cost veterinary care from Key West to Islamorada.  Shot packages start at $38, dog and cat dentals start at $85, cat neuters $45. Call 305-390-0325 or go to for dates, times and locations.

[What Is A Cult] Recognizing and avoiding unhealthy groups. Link





Redneck burglar alarm.

[Sanctuary Closures] Please keep Marvin, Snipe and Picnic Island open for the locals.  Those places keep the neighborhoods rid of them for at least part of the weekend.

 Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.   



[Black Collar Crime] God’s will. Interesting but not surprisingthe Key West pastor practicing fraud and thievery. Black collar crime is rampant! Link

Fanci Seafood will be closed on Sundays until August. Everyone have a great summer!


[Gun Nuts] Like the poor; it looks like the gun nuts will always be with us.



[Korean War] June 25, 1950. North Korean forces crossed the 38th parallel into South Korea, igniting the Korean War.

Was the Korean War a civil war? If not, what’s the difference?

[Septic System] I am retired contractor, BPK and Va. In Va, above ground septic 5,000 to 20,000[?] pump system 3 to 5,000[?], I have one that in 10 years has required 0 maintenance.




[Concrete Canoe] 140 pound, 22 foot canoe. The trick to making concrete float is to mix it with glass bubbles and other lightweight objects. Whatever floats your boat.

[Sewers] Settle down now, our local governors know what is best for us sewer-wise.


[Common Senseless] “Firefighters use lid to put out kitchen pot fire in Berkeley.” Of all the headlines I have ever read, that one most exemplifies the loss of individual know-how and the instinct for self-defense in the face of dependence on government. Link

ted25[TED Talks] TED is a nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. It started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design. Since then its scope has become ever broader.The two annual TED conferences, on the North American West Coast and in Edinburgh, Scotland, bring together the world’s most fascinating thinkers and doers, who are challenged to give the talk of their lives (in 18 minutes or less). An interesting browse! Link 
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email.   

[Signs] Somebody in the County Public Works Department must have bought a custom road sign making machine and somebody else is going nutsy-coocoo with it.  There is a proliferation of signs springing up along the streets around here referring to just about anything you can think of.  Turn off the bubble machine please.

religion politics zone

USA Same As Russia] What’s the difference between Russia spying on its citizens and the USA doing the same thing and for the same reasons?–terrorists and those who want to overthrow their governments. That’s why the Russians do it. That’s why the USA does it too. What’s the difference of Russians coming to get you in the middle of the night when that’s exactly what they do in Russia.

I always thought we were different than Russia. My image of Russia is them stopping you while you’re walking down the street and asking for your “papers”. What’s different than walking down an American street and having them come up and ask us for our “papers” (I.D.). Americans can’t see the sameness of these governments because we still think we’re the pure of heart? Ha.



[Socialized Medicine] Obamacare is not socialized medicine and this is not a socialist country or going in that direction. Socialized medicine is when the government owns the industry not just regulates it. Regulation is the job of government and it’s time it starts regulating. People are using ‘socialism’ and ‘socialized’ a little too freely, not really knowing what they mean.

[Whistleblower] Ed Snowdon has to have people traveling with him who are advising him. You can’t do what he’s doing on an international level without professional help or advice. When Snowden left here he was reported to be with lawyer or lawyers that also had represented

Sad for FTR. He lives in the Keys yet screams in anger about Obama. The election is over. He has not posted anything lately that the Republicans would do differently. No positive ideas, just hate for the President. I pray I will never run into this sad soul.

Will someone on the Left explain to me how your version of government has the authority to to tell us what we can and can’t put in our mouths? and not what we can or can’t put in our vaginas or asses? Explain to me how it is you have morally distinguished between our orifices.

And yes, Mr Lefty, keep your thoughts out of my wife’s vagina. You have met your enemy and he is you. As long as you and your Lefty ilk continue to use the power of government to tell me what I can’t put in my mouth  I will continue to use government to tell your wife what she can and can’t put in her vagina. Or take out for that matter.

The Veterans Administration is socialized medicine.  Hello all you vets that eagerly go to the VA and then bitch about ‘socialized medicine’. I have to laugh at you out loud when you whine like that!

[Abortion and ‘parts’ confusion] You are not going to like this, but I am already into your wife’s life, if ala Sandra Fluke, she wants me to pay for her pills or she uses planned parenthood for D & C’s. If you want me out of her life, pay those yourself! If she isn’t using those, why make the comment at all.

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to the email. 



[Girl Scouts Are Propaganda Tools] Girl Scouts forced to sell cookies to fund hundreds of millions in leftist pension plans. Who could have imagined just a few short years after leftists hijacked The Girl Scouts of America and began using our children as propaganda tools for their leftist agenda that the organization’s pension plan would find itself over 300 million dollars in the hole. Our little girls are now just the slaves of leftist bureaucrats. You gotta love socialism. Link

[Smear Campaign] I love this Ed Snowdon story. It’s full of international intrigue and deception. Someone wrote that now the government will start smearing his life. So today I heard that Snowdon took that job with the intention of stealing secrets. Now it begins.

[Liberal Sewers] Liberals, you may want to move on to the next post,  this one contains science content. Want to know how to estimate the cost to use a grinder pump? First find out the HP and efficiency of the motor, then estimate the yearly hours of operation (that is the tricky part). Use this formula to determine the yearly operating costs:

kWh/year =(HP x.746 kw/HP x motor loading x yearly operating hours)÷ efficiency

$/year to run grinder = kWh/year x $.14/kWh (or your average utility rate)

FKAA should have info on the motor HP, projected motor loading and efficiency. If they don’t, we really are in trouble.

Obamacare is just an expansion of the existing socialized medicine we already enjoy, except everyone will now pay into it instead of a select few. I still don’t understand why Republicans don’t want everyone to pay or to have health insurance.

pig25[Allah’s Coming To Get You] South Fork Industries, based in Dalton Gardens, Idaho, claims its ammunition, called Jihawg Ammo, is a “defensive deterrent to those who violently act in the name of Islam.”

The bullets are coated in pork-infused paint, which the company states makes the ammo “haram,” or unclean, and therefore will keep a Muslim who’s shot with one of the bullets from entering paradise.

“With Jihawg Ammo, you don’t just kill an Islamist terrorist, you also send him to hell. Link

Where do we send money to help Zimmerman?


right only grey

an florida touristIt’s great to know that while we have to endure all the bad news coming out of Washington, good things are happening in Florida. We’ve recently learned that the unemployment rate in Florida has again dropped. It is now about 7.1%, that’s substantially lower than the national average. And that’s down from 9.3% in May of 2012. In fact it’s the lowest rate since 2008. Florida has gained the third highest number of jobs in the nation since last year. Governor Scott recently signed a bill that he had championed that will  eliminate the sales tax on machinery and equipment. This will be a huge boon to business and a huge incentive to out of state businesses to move to Florida.  We will all benefit from their capital investments and new jobs.”It’s going to make a huge difference. It will make us much more competitive,” said Robert Koppel, president of Interplex Sunbelt, a metal stamping business in Tamarac. Manufacturers say the sales tax elimination would make planning easier and less expensive. Donna Hoover, executive vice president of Hoover Pumping Systems, a Pompano Beach maker of irrigation pumps, said anything that adds to her cost to manufacture affects the bottom line.”We’re supporting families. That’s what keeps me up at night. I do not want to lose jobs,” she said. Hoover, a 28-year-old company that employs 50, had to lay off more than half its workers during the recession, but has since added back 30. Elimination of the sales tax would further boost employment, she said. New businesses means new jobs, growing businesses mean new jobs. Add it all up and it means a return to prosperity. Governor Scott has been aggressively seeking means to make Florida a more comfortable venue to do business. He is pulling out all the stops in attempting to draw new business, especially manufacturing to our state. A major international bank, Deutsche Bank is moving to Florida, Jacksonville will gain about 300 new high paying jobs. A major European aerospace manufacturer will open it’s first-ever U.S. subsidiary on the Space Coast. Hertz is moving its headquarters from NJ to Florida, that’s about 700 new high paying jobs. Dick’s Sporting Goods, a Pennsylvania based company already has several stores in Florida, but it now is opening yet another at a huge new shopping complex in S. Dade. Amazon is opening two new distribution centers in Florida. That’s a lot of new jobs for Floridians. Scott is working on an advertising campaign in California to entice California businesses to move to Florida. He is trying to lure businesses from other states through letters aimed directly at the business community. Among the targeted states are Kentucky, Maryland, Connecticut, Minnesota, New York, and California.Republican Governance and perseverance is working.