2018 June

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​

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Part 1.  I’m an only child from a single parent, my mother. Never knowing my father, he chose to be absent in my life. I have tried very hard to find out more about his life, who he was, what he did. I got over being angry many years ago. He did what he did for whatever reasons he and my mother had. Now comes the twist.  The following was sent to me Monday morning.

“Hey Joe, I need to speak with you later today if possible. I was contacted by somebody through the DNA site. The reason they reached out to me is because we match as second cousins with DNA and I listed the names of Underwood in the family surnames. The reason is because his father was adopted but the listed name on the birth certificate was Geraldine Underwood. We matched through DNA so we’re definitely related and I wanted to ask if you know if your mother gave up a child for adoption sometime around 1945. This person’s father is still alive. If this is all accurate he would be a brother of yours. I know this is kind of a shock and I need to talk to my mother later today, but if you can send me your number I can call you.
Take care cousin”

It looks like I have a brother! His name is Warren, he is 5 years older than me. He has a daughter named Carey who did the research and is putting all this together. My cousin David was a player as well. I have spent my life as a spoiled “only child”. Oh my goodness, I was wrong. That’s not the case, boy do I have some work to do. Old habits are hard to break. It seems there is much I don’t know or understand just yet and most of the players are not with us. Life turns on a dime, doesn’t it.

Part 2. From Warren’s daughter, Carey — my new niece.
“People who know my family also know my dad was adopted at birth.  He and I always wondered about our history, health, and what-ifs. My husband purchased my DNA test a year ago. I received my profile, found out my heritage and that we have no funky disease history. Great, case closed. Recently, added an ancestry DNA match. They emailed me and said check it out, so curiosity got the best of me. I signed on and I matched with 900 people, but 2 names grabbed me, and I emailed one that had lineage with my dad’s birth name which we knew. The gentleman I emailed, David Brady, who was a DNA match for a 2nd cousin, responded and we corresponded and started to trust each other to give information. He provided me with a name and I started to investigate on Facebook. I would like you to meet my dad’s full blood brother Joseph C. Britz. It’s been a crazy couple of days with emotions and questions, but he and I have already started to make up lost time by getting to know each other via text. We hope to meet face to face and get to know each other and introduce our families. Thank you Uncle Joe for being so welcoming and trusting.”


Part 3 From Joe.
Meri-Lynn and I are going to Michigan to see my brother and family. More will be revealed, we have a grand adventure in front of us. Blessings to each and everyone of you. Meet my brother Warren!

[Special Treatment for Politically Connected Felon] Keys schools officials asked a judge to give special treatment to this convicted felon.
The felon is Isaac Archer, a high school football standout whose mother works as the mayor’s assistant. Isaac owes the county nearly a year of jail time for the February 2017 home invasion in which another teen was pistol-whipped and a cohort carried an assault-style rifle. Another f**ked-up kid whose parents work in some high-end job in Monroe County expecting special dispensation for their kid, Special Ed! Stolen iPads, pharmacy robbery and now home invasion. Mr. Archer is a convicted felon who was allowed to finish school prior to serving his time. That was his special dispensation, but no, they want more.In my opinion, he needs to serve his time, probation and whatever other punishment he was given. Mrs. Archer, your kid is a home invader, a robber, a member of a gang of three who used masks and a high-powered rifle to intimidate others for financial gain. I’ll surmise it was over dope, because that’s how the Keys kids roll. Mrs. Archer, your request took balls, but lacked common sense. While I appreciate your fear for his safety in jail, have you thought about our safety in the general public? Your son is a violent criminal. I was appalled when the crime took place but reassured myself that my home is ready for such an invasion thanks to the little gun store next to the Hogfish on Stock Island, and a salesman named Tom. Look at it this way, Issac and his other two stooges left the home they invaded, alive. Florida law allows for that not to always occur. Mrs. Archer you and your boss now have the ability to visit him in jail, and when he gets out you can coddle him at home all you want.Sheriff Ramsay, hold this spoiled felon’s feet to the fire! He needs to serve everyday he was sentenced. Your corrections officers need to treat him like the thug he is. Put him in the general population, nickname him “Pinky” and let’s see how badass he is without a mask and a gun. You are a felon, Issac, you blew it. Your name begins with Convict, you will always have a State issued number associated with your name, you may not own a gun, you don’t have the sense or right to vote and your Al Bundy football career is over. Hope you learn a trade in jail. Maybe metalwork, like stamping “Arrive Alive” license plates for the front of police cars. Back in the day I used to watch a couple of kids play baseball in Key West. One I know turned out to be a Key West cop, a good guy. Issac Archer grew up in the same town, went to the same school, participated in the same school sports program and became a violent criminal. Link

While sitting at M&M’s I saw the bigpinekey deer sticker.  How can I get a few? Full Menu > Free Key Deer Bumper Sticker.

If you really want to see children taken away from their families, go to drug court. What’s going on at the border is trivial compared.
[Insurance Claims] I heard that payments from Citizens Insurance were made within 15 days if you used their adjuster, up to six months if you used a private adjuster and a year or more if you hired an attorney. Can anyone corroborate that?
[Oil Drilling in the Gulf] Trump plan to expand Gulf drilling ignores impacts on wildlife, lawsuit claims. A handful of environmental groups sued the Trump administration Thursday for failing to protect whales, sea turtles and other marine life in the Gulf of Mexico even as it pushes to expand drilling amid safety cutbacks. Link
[Abandoned Trailer] Can you move your abandoned boat trailer from the parking lot at the ramp on Little Torch Key. It’s been there since Irma. We are all going to need the space when the plague of Mini Season arrives next month. No license plate, I thinks its a Karavan model.
[Dishonest Thief] Recently I sent a rant about someone stealing my stuff from my house on Big Torch Key in hopes that by exposing their dastardly deeds it would so humiliate them to their peers that they would return my stuff and apologize for their dastardly deed. But, no, nothing returned and no apology.
[“Animated movies voice-overs”] It’s all about the money. Sometime in a galaxy far away I remember as a young Jedi my mother taking me and my brother to the movies on Saturday and for $.25 we could watch the next issue of Buck Rogers, Hopalong Cassidy, Lash LaRue, and 25 color cartoons and the voices sounded exactly the same. We just came to watch the cartoons and couldn’t care what they sounded like. The kids don’t care, perhaps their parents are impressed by some celebrity’s name, but the kids don’t care.
[Travel Ban Upheld] The Supreme Court has ruled 5-4 that the President’s travel ban is legal and the President has the power to control this kind of immigration.
[“Day labor”] Call 833-kws-taff for all you labor needs including day labor.  Great guys, great rates.



Hurricane forecasts for your block. There’s a website for that now. Link

[Internet Shoppers to Pay Sales Tax] The U.S. Supreme Court has announced their decision on the S. Dakota v. Wayfair case, overturning the long-standing rule that states could not tax businesses or sellers outside of their borders. Now is the time for Congress to act on legislation that protects small businesses. Keep the Internet as free from government taxation and regulation as possible. Petition
[Still No Airline in Marathon Airport] The Florida Keys Marathon International Airport can boast of a long runway, a welcoming terminal, convenient car rentals and parking. Just one missing ingredient remains: a commercial airline with regularly scheduled flights. Link



[Giant Fans] What a waste of something. Video

Your summer squash growing guide. I saw one growing in Port Pine Heights the other day and the deer didn’t eat it. The squash blossoms were in full bloom and neither the iguanas nor deer had eaten it. Maybe they didn’t see it — yet?  Link
[Crook] Alexander Sardinas, 35, of Tavernier was booked into Key West jail after he broke into a house, threatened to kill its occupants and then took a pulled pork sandwich and a Gatorade drink from the refrigerator before running off into the woods. Link



[Directional Speakers] This speaker system saves festivals from noise complaints. CBC News looks at how PK Sound is keeping the peace between music festivals and their neighbors. Video

Are those reality tv shows somewhat fake? Is the news somewhat fake? Maybe the news is a reality show. I know politics is a reality show. I’ve got to stop watching this crap and get my arse back to the Keys. I’m getting bumbfounded up here.
My heart is healthy enough for sex but my liver won’t survive another marriage.
[Red Snapper] Fishing captain finds unique way to go after red snapper. While most anglers are sending baits down 100 or more feet to target the bottom dwelling red snapper, Capt. Jack Vasilaros does something a little more unique. Vasilaros has begun to target them on the surface by chumming them all the way from the bottom, then hooks them using no weight and lighter tackle. It takes patience, and the right spot, but a method Vasilaros says gets the bigger fish. Link
[Debbie Halama is Running for County Commissioner Seat 2] I have lived and raised my family on Big Pine Key and I own the pawn shop on Big Pine and I know B.S when I see it! We in the lower Keys never had our own County Commissioner. The last thing the lower Keys needs is to have two more County Commissioners coming out of Marathon. The proof of that is what happened to the lower Keys after Hurricane Irma. ~Thanks, Debbie
[Vote for Beth] For the first time in Keys Energy 75-year history, we who live outside of Key West proper, get a member on the Utility Board, and we get to vote for the Utility Board.  I’m Beth Ramsay-Vickrey and I’m running for this new seat “D”. I hope you can take 2-minutes to view my candidate video on why I am running, my relevant local experience, and my platform. Video



[How The Internet Works] A few people have been asking how the internet works, so Eileen Higgins has put together this very informative video.

Mold contaminants in the air you breathe and on the surfaces you touch in your home can make you sick. One highly rated provider explains the common culprits. Link
AARP July 2018 Calendar Full Menu > Ongoing Events
[Shark Fins] Coast Guard busts Keys fishing vessel with shark fins. A Coast Guard crew from Station Islamorada stopped a commercial fishing vessel in the Upper Keys last Tuesday morning that was loaded with dismembered sharks and 11 fins. Link
[The Wall (Not Pink Floyd’s)] See the benefit of having a wall and armed guards? Link
[Sound Underwater] Underwater, you hear as a whale does: Sound waves bypass your eardrum and vibrate the bones of your skull, allowing you to hear frequencies as much as 10 times as high as you’d hear on land.



[Winn Dixie] Check status of your points. Link

[“Robo call blocker”] I tried Nomorobo, but it was so much trouble to set up that I just gave up. I found it easier to just ignore the calls.
The song remains the same, but Robert Plant is always moving forward. Audio


[Bourbon] Good news for us. Granted there is good beer and wine coming out of the EU, but they haven’t a clue on distilling sour mash. With the new higher tariffs on bourbon, there will be more for us here to buy.

Watch Paul McCartney bring people to tears with surprise visits to Liverpool hangouts. Video
Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.   ~Greek philosopher, Epictetus
[Plantation Key School] When students fill the halls of the new Plantation Key School, they can stroll down Discovery Boulevard to spend time at the Learning Piazza. Discovery Boulevard is a main hall expected to be filled with educational technology stations, while the Learning Piazza will have “flexible learning spaces” in addition to serving as cafeteria and auditorium. Link
[New Tariffs] Harley-Davidson plans to build EU-bound motorcycles outside of the US. European taxes on imported motorcycles will increase the cost of motorcycles by $2,200 on average. Link
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