Published daily since 2002. Published randomly since Spring of 2015
| [Formerly Coconut Telegraph] (Formerly Ed: After 13 years I stopped publishing the Coconut Telegraph on the first day of Spring. This site is too much for one person to operate. From now on I think I’ll publish when I have enough posts I like that can fill the page. Contributors will be by invitation only, in order to exclude negativity, sewers and politics. Although all advertisers’ contracts have expired I’m still going to display their ads for free until I figure out what I’m doing. Hopefully they will all want to keep advertising.) |
| [Religious Nuts] The Governor of Indiana signed a bill allowing religious nuts to discriminate against anyone that doesn’t fit into their narrow view of the world. I say boycott Indiana. Where is it, anyway? |
 Well I though I’d let the wailing and hub-bub die down. I hope you enjoy your retirement, you deserve it. I’ll miss the daily insanity from the Keys. |
| Jet Skies are the cockroaches of the water. |
 [String Theory] I was working on a shed and needed to tie some palm fronds out of my way. My tool box was at the entrance and there were a bunch of parts and small hand tools between it an the door. I picked up a new ball of cotton string thinking how expensive it is these days. I unwrapped the plastic and removed the paper band surrounding the ball and cut a few lengths of string to tie the fronds. Later I saw the need to tie more fronds out of the way so I went back to the doorway to get more string. There, sitting in plain view, was the new ball of string wrapped in plastic with a paper band around its equator! The only explanation I have is that I’m crazy or I used a remnant of an old ball of string I might have had in the toolbox, but that’s unlikely. If there was other string in the toolbox maybe I used it while looking at the new ball lying on the floor between the toolbox and door and thinking how expensive it was. I looked in the trash for the wrapper, but there wasn’t one. The only other explanation I can come up with is that there are parallel universes and I breached one. Link |
| I still want to know when to throw out blue cheese, it always looks rotten. |
  Don’t you think the Boston Bomber looks a lot like Bob Dylan? |
| [Religious Nuts] A Huntington Beach, California lawyer had proposed a bill that would kill all practicing gay people. It only take $200 to submit a bill in California, but it takes about 800,000 signatures to get it on the ballot. The safe money bet will be on his proposal getting creamed and him getting butt f**ked. |
 Be happy, be well, be safe and remember you have a lot of fans. |
| Take me out to the ball park! On Sunday, May 3, the Miami Marlins are inviting Monroe County residents to Florida Keys Day at Marlins Park. The Marlins will be playing the Philadelphia Phillies. The Marlins are also making available special base line reserve tickets for $20.00. A portion of the proceeds will go to Monroe County school athletics. For more information and to get tickets, please call 305-587-4343. |
| In the Keys: The Marathon City Council met March 24th at the Monroe County Government Center. Florida, of course.Councilmember Zieg led the discussion on changing the meeting from twice a month to one every three weeks. Zieg said that there would be a savings, but that doesn’t work. The cost is not significant enough. Zieg seems to not want to meet more than necessary from his work. There does not seem to be much desire to change something that has worked since the city’s inception. I suggest residents contact all five councilmembers and demand they do their work twice a month.Councilmember Zieg led the discussion on the Deputy City Manager search. He wants to see the résumés of the candidates. That is the City Manager Mike Puto’s job. Zieg asked where the money would come to pay for a Deputy City Manager. That is the City Manager Mike Puto’s job. Mike did answer that $78,000 is available. Zieg talked about evaluations. The Council evaluates the City Manager and the Financial Director; the rest of the evaluations are City Manager Mike Puto’s job. Didn’t we just have an election where council noninterference is not allowed? So why do the Council continue to micromanage everything?
Vice Mayor Mark Senmartin leads the effort in establishing an in-house Legal Department and hiring two or three for the department. The most important hire is the Finance Director. The money is there for such a department saving money over a contracted Finance Department. My concern is how are litigations paid? Shouldn’t there be a budget line item for paying for litigations that come up? Councilmember Dan Zieg gave an update on Marathon’s airport status. The county is going to add International to the airport’s name. The Port of Entry designation will come soon. With Cuba opening up two way traffic, our airport will bring business to our city. Individuals flying into the Keys and out of the Keys now have two choices that could lead to reductions in flight cost. City Clerk Diane Clavier reported the community announcement. See the city’s website http://www.ci.marathon.fl.us/ for those announcements. Planning Director George Garret reported the new Grant Writer is Deion Llyod. He also present two resolutions one authorizing a trap and repair yard at 1110 Overseas Highway and one approving the ranking of application in the Residential Building Permit Allocation System. Building and Code Administrator Stacy Charlton reported that recently operations have been high. The department numbers improved as well. Parks and Rec Director Jimmie Schmidt reported on the success of the Seafood Festival, although the field needs work to bring back from the damage. He also talked about the Spring Break Camp. Public Works Department Head Carlos Solis gave his report. Guest Speaker Dolly Sadowski spoke on the state bill about restricting distance a mooring can be to shore. She also spoke on waste like fish carcass, construction debris, and yard waste being thrown in canal. Dolly asked the Council to do something to protect our canals. Resolution 2015-33 approves a contract amendment with David Douglas and Associates for utility design and permitting service previously approved by Resolution 2014-84 dated August 12, 2014 increasing the contract amount from $21,137 to $30,037. |
 [Free] 15th Annual Big Pine Key Easter Egg Hunt Saturday, April 4 – 9AM sharp Blue Heron Park on Lytton’s Way, Big Pine Key Age categories: 3 and under; 4-6 years; 7-10 years Special prizes and special appearance by the Easter Bunny For more information, call Holly @305-879-6824 |
| For those of us on Big Pine and the lower Keys who got all our real local input from the CT (just about everybody), it is a dark day indeed. Your site was(hard to type that ‘was’) as much a part of my everyday life and as keysey as the sunsets and the breezes. I understand that you finally needed to cast off the pressures and the frustrations. I’m glad you lasted so long, because it was a great site- and now that it’s gone we all will realize how much it meant to us. It was a great run. |