2020 May

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.




[It-doesn’t-get-any-better-than-this Department] Bacon mask.

[Hand Sanitizer] I tried to make hand sanitizer, but it kept coming out as pitchers of martinis. Amazing.


Sea turtle nesting season is off to a phenomenal start with 29 nests on Sanibel and 14 nests on Captiva. This photo of a nesting loggerhead (Caretta caretta) was taken by Coastal Wildlife Director Kelly Sloan last night without a flash; just a long exposure lit by the moon. ‘It’s hard to believe on this day last year we only had five nests on Sanibel and one nest on Captiva,’ said Sloan. ‘We can’t say that it has to do with fewer people on the beach, but it’s more likely due to the warmer water this season.’
The phenomenal increase over last year includes two rare leatherback (Dermochelys coriacea) nests,”

[Pandemic] We’ll know it’s over when there’s enough toilet paper in the store.



[Lawnmower For Sale] $50, starts right up, runs great, kept inside, no rust, 2017, Briggs & Stratton engine, gas can. Model number PR500N21SH, 21”. Low mileage, only used on Sundays. Big Pine Key. Text 305-942-4323 (no phone calls).

Top causes of death in the United States: Heart disease, cancer and COVID-19. Link
I need some not-so-common sized stainless machine screws, some nylon lock-nuts, and some finish washers. Who has the best stainless steel fastener assortment in the lower Keys? Specialty Hardware, Summerland Ace, Key West Marine Hardware, or possible one of the West Marine stores?
The Tokens — The Lion Sleeps Tonight -RCA 1961 mono.


[Masks] I’ve been trying to buy a mask from – everywhere! No luck. The closest I could get is June delivery from Amazon. On the other hand, Isla Bella, the new resort in Marathon, was able to get all the masks they wanted, plus get them printed with their name on them—in pink.

Pubs in Ireland are closed until at least August 10. But, by all means, let’s open Cracker Barrel right now!



That video of the guy flying off the commode reminded me of why I had seat belts installed on mine.

[Ode To The Flu]
Yes, how many deaths will it take ’til he knows,
That too many people have died?
The answer my friend is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.Blowin’ In The Wind –Bob Dylan
[Media Influence] Some people are always complaining about the media, but never suggest an alternative. What, censorship? Only your favorite channel? Ban newspapers you don’t like? What?



Building art.

How much does labor at the library cost to operate? Usually there are three very friendly woman behind the counter gossiping and a man on the other side of the room at a desk playing on the computer. Wouldn’t some of that payroll be better used for buying books to add to the limited selection on the shelves, or even more ebooks?



Fire-extinguisher art.

Ben Platt‘s new song ‘So Will I’ delivers all the self-isolation feels. This song says it all from me to you. Video
[Tourist Spread Virus] When will the second wave of this virus start? More and more are being infected again. This could wipe out the Keys in days, if we allow them to open the door to tourists and let the buggers in.


[“Poor resolution on UFO pictures”] The UFO footage released by the Navy was taken at night and not with a high resolution video camera as are those billions of YouTube and other internet uploads. Those cameras would reveal nothing. The UFOs were captured with FLIR or forward looking infrared cameras. Those are the best images we can get given the circumstances.

[Liberty vs Control] John Adams once said “There is danger from all men. The only maxim of a free government ought to be to trust no man living with power to endanger the public liberty.”
That would include politicians in general, since who has more power than politicians who can write the law? It amazes me how many fools trust politicians to protect their liberty. I guess it takes a distorted definition of the word “liberty”? In case you lost the meaning of the word, Dictionaries define liberty as” “The state of being free within society from oppressive restrictions imposed by authority on one’s way of life, behavior, or political views.”
“The condition of being free from confinement, servitude, or forced labor.; The condition of being free from oppressive restriction or control by a government or other power.; A right to engage in certain actions without control or interference by a government or other power.; The right or power to act as one chooses.; A deliberate departure from what is proper, accepted, or prudent, especially.; A breach or overstepping of propriety or social convention.; A departure from strict compliance.; A deviation from accepted truth or known fact.”
Consider how far has America drifted from a country founded on liberty?


[Free Food!] Due to the forecast of inclement weather, the free drive-through feeding distribution has been cancelled for May 14 and rescheduled for May 19. In collaboration with Feeding South Florida, Monroe County, the Ocean Reef Community Foundation and United Way of Collier and the Keys, the event will still take place at Founders Park from 12:00 to 2:00 pm.

[Stimulus Money] There is a story going around that a farmer got his stimulus check and bought some eggs and hatched them. He got his money for nothing and his chicks for free.
Dire Straits — Money For Nothing



I got  $32.54 back from Progressive Insurance for my April premium credit from Progressive ‘s Apron Relief Program!

[Safe to go in the Water] Let’s reopen the country even though three of the President’s top medical advisors are in quarantine. Money is more important than life in a capitalistic society.
[Hornets] Since the media has caused about as much panic as they possibly can about the NOVID-19 virus I notice now they are starting up the scare tactics about the so-called killer hornets.  If they didn’t have gloom and doom they wouldn’t have anything to say.  So, they’ll whip up yet another crisis telling us how much we have to fear from a small flying insect. Ouch!





[Tony] Why so many Italian immigrants were called Tony.

[Precautions Are Unnecessary] Has the media propaganda successfully made you permanently afraid of everyone and everything? Do you consider that maybe the grocery store item that somebody with the plague de jour touched was then touched by the cashier’s gloved hand that then touched everything you just bought?
This pandemic will be with us for many years. We can’t stay shutdown, locked-down, and wearing masks forever, and none of that will permanently kill the virus. It is disturbing that so many “drank the kool-aid” as instructed, but more disturbing is that some ask for seconds by demanding martial law and forced compliance with eventual mandatory vaccinations. Clearly, you do not know how vaccines are created and what is included in the injection, nor the consequences. If you believe that your bubble-boy existence will keep you safe, I believe you should be allowed to continue. Forever. I also believe that those that do not agree with your beliefs should not be forced to comply with your beliefs. Keep them to yourself and let the rest of us get just enough exposure to gain natural immunity, even if we might get too much exposure and be one of the relatively few to die. Then we will no longer be a risk to anyone, right? Those of us who do not die may possibly pass the natural antibodies through really close, pleasurable contact instead of passing the disease. I believe that God/Mother Nature is much more effective at survival of the species than any government effort. You are free to worship whichever you choose and have confidence in, or none at all. Just don’t demand that I do as you choose.



[Barber Shops Closed] We are at the point where I can go to a shop and buy a bag of weed, but I have to meet my barber in a dark alley with unmarked bills to get a haircut!

I told myself I had to quit drinking during this shutdown, but I’m not going to listen to someone who is intoxicated.



Where there’s intelligent life in the universe.

We hear them say to drink with responsibility.  I’ve never heard of anyone by that name.
Thank you Ed. You have been here so many years. We are setting older and so are you. And you stayed with us through all the fake news and real news Thank you I feel honored that you kept this together with, like nothing, coming in from advertisers and still you publish. (Ed: Thank you for being so nice. It seems since social media, everyone tries to be mean.)


[Sick Kids] Superhero window washers descend on Lurie Children’s Hospital. Video