Friday, May 15, 2020

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.



[Leadership] We have 50 different states treating the virus and business closings 50 different ways and achieving 50 different results. Where are leadership and honesty when we really need them?

[Bring Out Your Dead] We know the money people want to open the Keys ASAP to get the tourist money and could care less for life and limb of us locals. They want to open the gates and let the world in with or without the virus. Just think what would happen if this was the bubonic plague? Well it is just as dangerous, folks. We’re all going to die for the lousy dollar.


My 14,000-gallon cistern was very low because of our long dry spell, but since Sunday I’ve got 10” of rain and it’s still raining. 10” of rain = 80” of water in the cistern. It’s overflowing now. Water in the cistern means that I won’t have to pay FKAA for their outrageous fees for water and sewer usage.

Go ahead, open the freakin’ Keys and watch us all die.


Are the free Key dear bumper stickers still available? Full Menu > Bumper Sticker

[Reopening Society] I talked to a lot of people who believe the governments do not have the right to tell people to come out of their homes and face this virus. Businesses are not doing well, so what? Doesn’t it make more sense to wait until the disease is cured than to temp Fate? And with the other seasonal bugs flying around, this plague might start all over again! People can do what they want to do, except knock on my door!
I tried to come up with a Friday joke about social distancing but I couldn’t even get close!




How dangerous is the ‘Murder Hornet’? Its sting is excruciating to people, but it is a bigger threat to honeybees vital for agriculture. Link

[“Library labor costs”] Although I do agree about the 3 women behind the desk with hardly any work to do, there hasn’t been a man behind the left desk for at least 3 months when Steve retired. It’s a woman now. I don’t know how the County can justify the headcount with the volume, but they obviously do and let’s not count the pension they will draw.


[Quarantine Revenge] All of us stuck at home should call random numbers in India and ask them about their extended car warranty. Make sure you call them at their dinner hour.

How do you know if you received the free money from the government? Do they send you an email? My bank statement doesn’t show any government deposit.
[Friday Joke] The reason politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they have passed.


Can we inhale something to kill this virus? Seems like a smart thing to do if these viruses are in our lungs! What will happen if they start living in our water supplies or in the air?

[Opening the Keys] Our government is supposed to safeguard our health not just our wallets. Please keep the Keys closed.



[Lawnmower For Sale] $50, starts right up, runs great, kept inside, no rust, 2017, Briggs & Stratton engine, gas can. model number PR500N21SH, 21”. Big Pine Key. Text 305-942-4323 (no phone calls please)

[A Friday Yee Haw] Quarantine theme song by Chuck Mead (whoever that is).  It’s a takeoff of the old Johnny Cash C/W song, ‘I’ve been everywhere man’ –  but not too bad, and only 3 minutes. Video


[“Stainless steel fasteners”] I’ve had very good luck with Big Pine’s own Ace Hardware. They have quite a large selection and variety, probably the best in the area.

[Free Money] Last call to receive stimulus payments by direct deposit. The IRS has announced that Wednesday, May 13, 2020, is the last day for people to input banking account information into the portal to receive stimulus payments by direct deposit. This is important because millions of consumers do not have bank accounts and will have to wait for several weeks for their stimulus checks. These articles provide context:
14 million Americans risk major delays in their stimulus checks and
Stimulus check issues for more than 8 million Americans without a bank account


[Social Distancing] I don’t care who your father is!

[Hand Washing] Does anyone know if we can take a shower yet? or are we still limited to just washing our hands every 11 minutes?
[Lessons Learned] The most important things this plague should teach us is to save money, save food, save water and be prepared for the next wave of disasters (that’s plural). We Americans have been living on cloud nine for way too long. Our kids are blind to realities of survival and stability. We think all that counts is fun and games and paying taxes.
[Nursing Homes] Right now, one in four deaths from coronavirus is happening in nursing homes. One. In. Four. This disease is particularly deadly for seniors, especially those in nursing homes, and we will not rest until Congress addresses this crisis and helps older Americans in long-term care facilities. Video




[Boating] What does it mean when the “Check Float” light comes on?

I thought this stay at home lockdown was affecting my sanity but the voices have told me everything is OK.
I do not want to die… keep the Keys closed.



I forgot, is it okay to make fun of Italians?

Voting by mail is a secure and established part of our American electoral system. But a vote-by-mail approach only works if every voter feels confident using it. We know that information can be powerful, and that a well-timed message can be the difference between someone voting or sitting out an election. We’ll be sending messages about when and how to get a mail ballot to young people, black and Hispanic voters, and other Americans who have historically been disenfranchised and underrepresented in our electorate. We want to make sure that every voter has the information they need to vote safely.
[Open For Virus] It is amazing that the merchant class cares not for our lives but solely for profit. Go ahead and open the Keys and watch us locals die off for your greed.



It’s wonderful to see how Australian are adhering to the social distancing rules. When I go shopping with my favorite bag people not only give me 6’, but actually cross the road and run away!

[My America] by Jeff Allen. Video



[Opening the Keys] We can recover from a bad economy, we can’t recover from death.

The Keys are reopening amid this pandemic and we should raise all the prices before the tourists return to make up for our losses. Quart of milk: $49.95. Cheeseburger: $39.95. Gasoline: $50 a gallon. Sales tax: 150%. This sounds like a good start! We won’t raise vacation rentals until they drain their wallets on junk and food. How about a toll booth at MM 100 or a Tourist Transit Fee of $100.00 per visitor?


Sequins are sometimes also referred to as spangles, paillettes, or diamantes, but technically differ. In costuming, sequins have a center hole and lie flat, while spangles have the hole located at the top and dangle. (paillettes are typically very large and flat). Sequins may be stitched flat to the fabric, so they do not move, and are less likely to fall off; or they may be stitched at only one point–spangles, so they dangle and move easily, catching more light.

[Friday Joke] Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.