2016 May

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

vote for meHi! It’s me, the poor working class Democrat woman political newcomer who snagged about 45 percent of the overall countywide votes. (with only a $700 budget) I just thought I would add that in. Anyway I was mentioned in the issue of the new movement afoot about single member districts. I do not have anything to do with it but I personally I think after 25 years of living in Dist. 2 that it would be a good idea. I live in a Dist. where our representative does not even understand our life style, he lives in Marathon. He only seems to take notice of the people that have something to offer him, not the poor working class. Our district was manipulated years ago to include his neighborhood so he could run. That re-correction cannot be made until 2020 after the next census. Notice that Key West has tabled the issue, at least for now, of changing from single member districts, as it allows representation of all member of the City and not just some.

I did meet the person who started the movement, and I do not believe that he has any political motive except to help make life better here. Some of us would say “I don’t care how you do it up North.” But to see democracy at work in America is a good thing. When I was running for office I had county staff members afraid to sign my ballot, due to job security and repercussions, I find that sad state of affairs in our small community. Here’s how it works. If someone asks you to sign a ballot for any cause, or candidates of the opposing party. Don’t be afraid to sign. It does not make you obligated to vote for that person or that issue, all it does is put it on the ballot so you can vote for or against it. Democracy at work. The only time it will not work is when the issue is a non-binding referendum–remember the Sanctuary vote? I feel that anyone who runs for County Commission would not be that closed minded to other districts’ needs and concerns. Really, what is the difference if we already have some of that in place? Based on the arguments I have heard on the radio; only rich people should serve as County Commissioner. I personally do not believe that. I believe in democracy, and look forward to this referendum being on the ballot regardless of how people vote for it. ~E. McAdams

crawfish-boilSpringer’s Crawfish Boil starting at 2 pm on May 29th.

300 lbs fresh for Louisiana with all the fixin’s!

First come, first served. This is the real thing!

31251 Avenue A, Big Pine Key FL 33043, 305-872=3022
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[“Dying deer”] Did that deer really have her jaw broken or just dislocated? To break a jaw (deer or human) requires a lot of force. Dislocating one happens to both species and could have happened to the deer while getting it got stuck in garbage or natural blockade and then she yanked it out of alignment.
If the jaw was truly broken, given our existing Key Deer lack of support, euthanasia is/was the only choice. If just dislocated, a minimally trained medical or vet person could have completely rescued this animal. Either way it seems like another deer at BPK died a slow, excruciating, starving death.
My wife and I have moved to BPK recently full time, and as much as we are loving it, we are very disenchanted with the apparent lack of support for the Key Deer when they get in trouble.
The turtles have an entire hospital for crying out loud! And volunteers supposedly have the right to trespass on your property to “identify” and rope-off nesting sites.Having a PhD in biological oceanography, I know the reasons behind the world-wide push to help sea turtles. But hey – we have another very unique animal that is just coming back from extinction in our back yards and there is no federal or state (think how many tourists spend time/money at BPK and NNK just to see the deer) infrastructure to aid these animals? The raccoons in San Diego have way more help than this.
Shameful. My wife and I intend to do something about this. I know some residents dislike, even hate the deer for their “destructive behavior” – i.e. eating your garden. Well, when you bought property or moved into one in BPK/NNH you quite well knew about the deer. If they are such a problem for you, move 1 or 2 Keys up or down if you can’t figure out how to outsmart them (we have new friends here at BPK that have co-lived with them very successfully since the 70s). For myself, I feel blessed that, on occasion, I get outsmarted by one of the rarest animals in the world and he/she (it was a she!) stole a carrot!
Johnsons-ad 4.12.2016
[“I hate Sears”] Try using, they are most times a lot less expensive then local appliance stores. The handle to the oven door had come off and local store quoted me a price. I then went to easy appliance parts and if I remember correctly was almost half of what local store wanted for replacement parts. Quality has never been a problem, yet. Shipping is also fairly expedient
in-out-ear[“Public comment on new Big Pine Key Visitor Center”] I may be getting too cynical, but save your breath. This is just a formality. They will do what they will. Remember all the meetings and ‘public comment’ on building the sewers? They went against everyone’s wishes and suggestions and built what they wanted, instead of what we wanted and paid for.
I may be a terrible person, but at least I say please and thank you and use my damn turn signal.
1 front[For Rent] Located in the center of the National Key Deer Refuge on Big Pine Key is this secluded, large 3-bedroom house with two full bathrooms and central air conditioning. New stainless steel appliances. Large deck is outside living room. Newly painted interior. House is on stilts with a concrete ground floor where the laundry room and storage rooms are located. The laundry room has washer and dryer hookups. The house sits on two wooded acres that includes a lovely pond. No dogs or smokers please. Yard maintenance is the responsibility of tenant. Utilities are not included. $2400 a month, plus first, last and $1000 deposit. ($5,800 is needed to move in).  Available to move in on June 1. For more photos see Link  Email for appointment
When a man says ‘fine‘ he means the battle is over. When a woman says ‘fine’ the war is just beginning.
Oklahoma just vetoed the proposed anti-abortion bill. Well, let’s put it this way, if I got pregnant and wanted an abortion I damn well better be able to get one without some holy roller blocking the entrance or telling me what I can and cannot do with my own body! Enough of these do-gooders sticking their noses into my business because it makes them feel better.
puppet brown lunch bag



[Local Food] I travel to Key West once a week and stop to eat at several local eateries along route 1. I am pissed that the quality of chow is going to shit because it is off-season and the local restaurants don’t care about the locals. It’s time for me to carry a lunch bag or stop in the super markets for eats.

[Do you understand what the Electoral College is] This is stuff I never learned and never knew.  I always thought NPV was a good idea, now not so much. These are informative lessons (and have nothing to do with grinder pumps).  I hope it isn’t relegated to the nutcase politics section. Link


[Name That Grill] I found this out in the woods. It looks like a grill from a 60s Chevy, but that’s only a guess.

[Fable] An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town.   The boy rode on the donkey, and the old man walked.   As they went along they passed some people who remarked “What a shame, the old man is walking, the boy is riding.”   The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.   Later they passed some people who remarked “What a shame, he makes that little boy walk”.   So they decided they’d both walk.   Soon they passed some more people who remarked “They’re really stupid to walk when they have a decent donkey to ride.”   So they both decided to ride the donkey.   They passed some people who shamed them by saying “How awful to put such a load on a poor donkey.”   The boy and the man figured they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey.   As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the donkey, the donkey fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story: If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass goodbye

[Chi-Raq the Movie] “No piece; no peace. no peace, no pussy.” This is a very good movie by Spike Lee. There were more killings in Chicago in the same year than in Iraq. Hence, “Chi-Raq”. This movie engages you in the madness that you will never forget. Wake up! Trailer


[Junk Mail] This is all the mail I had today, three junk mails and all from American Express. I wonder just how much they spend on that.

Local politician and Marathon City Council member, John Bartus has recently posted what he calls a “timely” article concerning cyber bullying written by past Marathon City Attorney Lynn Danheisser. This article was written in December, 2014, hardly “timely”. For someone like John Bartus, “timely” seems to have a much different meaning. Some would consider a cupcake to be stale after one and a half years on the shelf but maybe not John Bartus. Lott Pansky, a Marathon Planning Commissioner, also seems to believe that Lynn Danheisser’s article is “timely” after emailing me a copy of the Bartus post and then emailing my wife, advising me to apologize to him for my “negative media activity”. Poor Lott does not understand much. Ralph Lucignano doesn’t understand much either but he had the sense to at least resign from the Marathon Planning Commission when it became clear that he too was becoming a joke and a bad godfather. Cyber bullying is not about politicians and politics, it is about kids and anonymous electronic media, two unrelated things unless you consider me to be anonymous and politicians to be children. The reactions from John Bartus and Lott Pansky could be considered childish but I have never acted anonymously. When a politician places himself or herself into the spotlight then they place themselves under public scrutiny, and rightfully so. In a Democratic form of government, if we do not have the right to criticize and hold our political “leaders” accountable then our form of government will surely fail. One of the biggest problems with politics today, nationally and locally, has been this lack of accountability of our so called “leaders” who say one thing in order to get elected and do something completely different when in office. The Voters do not like this anymore and are voicing it in many different ways.

I do not like Donald Trump’s approach or his positions on many things but I understand why he has become so popular politically. Many people are sick and tired over the constant lying and deceit coming from our politicians. The old ways of political back room dealing and a general disregard for the wellbeing and best interests of the People these politicians were elected to represent must finally stop. Donald Trump may or may not be the answer but he is very different from what we have now and where we are heading unless there is change.

In Marathon, we have become tired of overpaid/self-dealing City Managers, Attorneys and Accountants, not to mention some of our (now past) City Council Members and Planning Commissioners. Some of these issues, we the Voters have resolved by voting out these bad players. In other cases, our City Manager, Roger Hernstadt resigned when he saw the election results, as did our past City Attorneys. Ralph Lucignano, Ginger Snead and Chris Bull resigned, as well. Unfortunately, we cannot seem to rid our City of Peter Rosasco. John Bartus keeps regurgitating and now we have the singing and dancing team of Lott Pansky and Michelle Coldiron doing their little routine.

I understand that many of you out there do not like my approach to politics. So, why are you reading this? The truth is no one takes any of this serious enough to do anything about it. I usually do not explain myself but you should know that I consider politics to be a joke and politicians to be the butt of the joke. If John Bartus and Lott Pansky do not like being butts then they should step down from their political positions and stop targeting people like me. After all, my comments and my criticisms are in direct response to the attacks that are sent my way. I confront my bullies and they do not like it!

For John Bartus and Lott Pansky it is simple really, they can resign and stop attacking me or they can learn to be accountable for their actions, votes and for what they say. I am!   ~Bruce Schmitt

chamber-buckChamber Bucks are basically checks that can be purchased only from the Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce, MM 31, in increments of $10, $25 or $50.  Chamber Bucks can be redeemed (spent) only at participating Chamber member businesses; an updated list of participating members will accompany each Bucks purchase.  The total amount of the Chamber Bucks check is guaranteed, so if the customer spending the Chamber Buck buys an item less than the face amount of the check, change is given to the customer.  The business will deposit and receive the full face value of the check.  They are processed in much the say way as a Travelers Check.
Countywide or single district voting? Who’s advocating? Political parties or independent? Elections are all about power and who decides how the money gets spent. With the political parties the advantage goes with the ability to mobilize voters across voting districts to defeat independent candidates and maintain power for the party’s agenda. Classic examples of what happens with at-large voting is the original gang of three: Sunny, Shelah, & Mario. Now the nuevo gang of three: George, David, & Sylvia. It appears that countywide at-large elections have perpetuated this system of control that pursues the party’s agenda rather than the will of the electorate. Now the party with its control of how the tax dollars are spent can, and has, decided not to do as the electorate voted to do, but to further the party’s pork projects; making sure their supporters get their share of the pork. The party’s propaganda organs are spewing out all the political rhetoric as to how beneficial it is to have an at-large election. Why? They want to stay in control. Remember in a past election we told the commissioners we wanted a complete and fully funded sewer system? and the controlling voting block elected thru an at-large voting system decided “to hell with the electorate” and voted to give 2.7 million dollars of the Monroe County infrastructure sales tax money to fix the state of Florida’s infrastructure. If you believe that a commissioner in a different voting district gives a damn about your districts’ problems, you must be living in fantasy land. How likely would the CRWS exist as it is now if it weren’t for county wide at large elections? Perhaps we wouldn’t have gotten, as described by FDEP as an experimental system in the Keys.
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Is the land on US1 the Deer Refuge is planning to build on, the same property the Coconut Farm used to occupy? Didn’t they make him close saying the land was not permitted for the use he had? My memory of the days before government intervention is foggy


The Florida Greenways and Trails. Link

[No To Fat Strippers] A Louisiana Senate bill intended to restrict the age of employees at strip clubs included a proposed amendment to limit employed strippers’ weights.The amendment was with withdrawn before the House voted on the bill.

The original text of Senate Bill 468 banned strip clubs that served alcohol from hiring dancers under the age of 21-years-old.

According to online records, Rep. Kenneth E. Havard proposed an amendment that would also limit employees to be “between twenty-one and twenty-eight years of age and shall be no more than one hundred and sixty pounds in weight.”

Havard, a Republican, represents portions of East Baton Rouge, East Feliciana and West Feliciana Parishes. He later withdrew the amendment and the bill was passed. Video of  sample fat stripper

Toy drone


Found: Toy drone.  Email me at with description, area where lost, date and time lost.

Summer is here so do not leave pets or children in the car unless it’s running with the AC on. Windows cracked is a death sentence. Carry water for those dependent on you. Have a safe summer!



It’s summertime and the mangroves are blooming and this one attracted a fly.

Is there one once of quality in Lou Reed’s voice? Lou, I for one, am happy your career did not last.
Velvet Underground – Heroin


[The Sun King of China] Meet Huang Ming, the Chinese inventor who describes himself as, ‘the number one crazy solar guy in the world’. Audio

[The Movies] When will we be able to watch a movie where the hero pulls out a blade and it doesn’t ‘zing’?
For those that trust FKAA engineers, think about these locations where engineers were trusted once upon a time.  TVA coal ash spill.  Exxon-Valdez.  Three Mile Island.  BP oil spill.  Flint, Michigan!
[“I hate Sears”] Part 2. After failing the Sears website I phoned the KW store (which wasn’t easy to do), asked if they had an ice maker for my new frig. The guy checked and said it was in stock. I said I’ll be right there. I knocked off work and drove the 30 miles to Key West only to be told that it had to be ordered online.

[Model of Indian Key on Display] Florida Keys History and Discovery Center in Islamorada can see a permanent model of the island showing how it might have looked circa 1840. Open Thursday thru Sunday, 10am – 5pm. For information, call 305-922-2237 or visit http://www.keysdiscovery

Do they make a toilet seat that won’t stick to my ass when I get up?


Mars is getting bigger.

[Phishing] “Unusual login notification
Our systems has just encountered a login attempt from a place unusual to your regular logging pattern. As a precautionary step, we have temporarily block your online access until you authorize the logging location.
Details of the location are as,
City: Moscow
Country: Russia
Please click the link below to enable your online access again.” (Then you lose your ID)
Who is the contractor for the aluminum railings along US1? Will they do residential railings and steps too?
hunting deer dead[“Dying deer”] If you were to have done the humane thing and shot the suffering deer. Really. You would have opened yourself to many charges. I same folks that would not respond to the injured deer, if you called them as you said you did would be the first ones to make your life very different. This is not 100 years ago and you are not making the film Old Yeller.

Endangered species act penalty schedule 16 u.s.c.: Kill. $3,500 – Statutory. Maximum. $7,500 – Statutory. Maximum. $13,000 – Statutory. Maximum … taken threatened or endangered species in interstate or… Link

Shoot more lionfish. Leave the grouper and hogfish for the kids and old guys who snorkel. Junior at the Bistro made some awesome lion fish for us last night. Amazing cook! Thanks again.
flounder[Changing Migration Patterns Upend East Coast Fishing Industry] Flounder that once amassed in North Carolina have gradually shifted about 140 miles to New Jersey—one facet of the northward migration of fish species that is upending traditional fishing patterns. The move north has sparked debate among regulators over how to respond to changing natural resources that could affect commercial fisheries across the eastern seaboard. Link
No I’m not a smart ass. I’m a skilled, trained professional in pointing out the obvious. And I speak fluent Sarcasm.
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What happens if some of these illegal invaders attempt to get into my house? Can I shoot them? Do I put them out for trash pick-up or call for bulk debris collection?
help wanted1[Help Wanted] Retail Recruitment – Key West. A multi-employer retail recruitment event, hosted by CareerSource South Florida, will be held Tuesday, May 24th from 9am-4pm in the Professional Building located at 1111 12th Street, Suite 308, Key West.  Staff will be recruiting for sales associates, loss prevention, cashiers, shipping/store clerks, key holders, and store managers.

Employers seeking qualified individuals include:  Artisans, Banana Republic, Beall’s Outlet, CVS, Dion’s, Home Depot, Historic Tours of America, Key Lime Pie Co., Naples Soap Co., Peppers of Key West, Pier 1, Sandal Factory, Terra Nova, and Tom Thumb (BPK).

Attendees should be dressed in interview attire and bring several copies of their work experience or resume, verifiable references, copies of any certifications and acceptable I-9 documentation to demonstrate authorization for work.  Employers may request a background check and/or a drug test.

Some employers will also require an online application and assessment. Career advisors will be on hand to assist in the application process and resume preparation. Participants may pre-register and apply on  For additional information call 305-292-6762 or email

identity theft drivers license


Identity theft is a terrible thing to happen to people. What is worse is the lousy service the cops give victims and the ridiculous fees the freaking lawyers charge for fixing the problem which most times never gets fixed. You have to track down the SOB that took your ID and “fix it” yourself. The way they fix thieves in India is a good way.

The best way to get rid of junk email is to fill out their link with your local politician’s email address.
[Bobbit Worm] Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water this terrifying killer worm will haunt your nightmares. Video
With bars charging enough for one once of booze that pays for the whole bottle they still bitch and moan about their profiteering.
Survivors[Survivors Party] It’s a Family Fun Street Fair this Memorial Day – an all-welcome Survivors Party, on Monday, May 30 during the family-friendly hours of 4 p.m. till 8 p.m. The fun fair will be held in and around the Bottle Cap, located at the corner of Catherine and Simonton streets.

There will be games of chance and skill such as bean toss and duck soup, with prizes for children and adults, plus the popular Pickle Wheel, cool karaoke in the a/c, snow cones, popcorn, cotton candy and lively music by Caribe, according to co-chairs John Shafer and Timm Bunn. In the spirit of the picnic cook-out, the menu will include hamburger and hot dog sliders with heaps of sides and desserts, they said.

This is the 39th Annual Survivors Party and the tenth under the sponsorship of the Sister Season Fund, the “Locals Helping Locals” charity that keeps the lights on and a roof over the heads of locals in the hospitality and entertainment industries when they are temporarily unable to work through no fault of their own. The fund has granted over $225,000 in assistance since its founding in 2005.

The Survivors Party, however, goes back to the time when friends raised funds for friends to help them through the very slow months before tourists discovered Key West was usually cooler in summer than New York City. Season lasts pretty much all year now, but the giving tradition lives on.

Tickets are still just $20, food included; there will be a cash bar. Children 12 and under are free. All proceeds go to Sister Season Fund to assist locals and volunteers are still needed. For more information, visit or call 305-849-0991.

money-mouthI agree with the poster who enjoyed the political stuff on the CT. The “other ‘ page hosted by Mr. Walt aka FTR is not anything like the CT, for several reasons. It was much more interesting when FTR would point out the short comings of the misinformed liberals. “It’s your CT, you will do as you please.” Heck, that’s kind of like the Super delegates isn’t it? Sorry I know that should be sent to the “other ” page. It’s an easy fix. Run it last. That’s my 2 cents worth. As always our business will continue to support the CT–with money
[Fish Camp Confusion] Let’s not confuse the Old Wooden Bridge Fish Camp by the No Name Bridge that has marina and 14 cottages (not a trailer park) with the Big Pine Key Fishing Lodge off US1 with cottages and camping for RVs and even tents. It’s the former that was bought.

He also owns Hurricane Hole, Looe Key Resort, the Wharf on Summerland. Planning on 100 boat slips. Looks like he’s turning the main building area into a restaurant. He claims he’s not in a hurry. I can see where this is headed though

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[Keys Tycoon] the Old Wooden Bridge Fish Camp’s new owner, Jim Figuerado, also owns Hurricane Hole Marina on Stock Island, The Wharf Bar and Grill on Summerland Key, Looe Key Resort and two marinas in Fort Myers and Nashville, Tenn.
The Key Deer photo in last Tuesdays Coconut Telegraph of the deer with the broken jaw is more than likely a photo of a Key Deer with Johnnes Disease.

broken-jaw-deer-3Johnnes Disease (pronounced Yan- eze) has been known in the Key Deer population for more than twenty years. The photo of the deer in the Coconut Telegraph could be a deer with a broken jaw, as many deer are killed and injured, each year in auto related interactions. The photo looks to be more likely what has been termed bottle jaw, or floppy jaw. This is the classic symptom of a deer in the advance state of Johnnes Disease. The disease is caused by the bacterium, mycobacerium avium paratuberculosis. It causes chronic wasting syndrome because of the inflammation of the ileum in the lower part of the small intestine of the Key Deer. The deer may appear normal for several years and be infected. They may exhibit scrawny, under-weight appearance and may have severe diarrhea. Once they exhibit bottle jaw, they are likely to die soon after. Johnnes may make deer

more susceptible to mange and other skin and fur conditions, which are common in Key Deer. The disease is spread by overcrowding and contact with deer feces. There is no cure, in captive deer and cattle herds the practice is to remove and destroy the infected animals.

As far as I know, no treatment has ever been attempted with Key Deer. The new staff here has no experience and the disease appears to be increasing. In 2013 well over 230 deer deaths were known and many were from unknown causes. The severe overpopulation of Key Deer in an ever decreasing habitat is probably not a good scenario for any solution of the problems associated with disease

[Types Of People On This Rock] Those who work for a living and those who take from those who work for a living. Those who invent great stuff and those who invent debris. Those who produce good food and those who produce garbage. Those who have self-pride and produce goods and those that do nothing but eat. Those that breed sensibly and those the hatch mutants for the fun of it. Those that know what maintenance means and those who don’t give a damn. Those that respect the planet and those that would sell it. The bad news is the latter are the majority now!



Terri Lynn

[“Affordable housing”] Affordable housing by definition is not for the working class that sweat and labor to support themselves. It is for the useless eaters that don’t work, but live off the dole and other bull shit incomes. At $2500 per month plus utilities, how much do you have to gross to afford living in those “shacks”? It is all a con to get the islands into a holy roller bull shit community with your tax money paying the freight! The Keys are being bought up by the greedy developers and next will be the hotel chains after Cuba’s tourist con crashes! May be we should deepen all the canals and water ways to get yachts into our Keys. At least we would have a better class of greedy bastards giving orders.
bill-iguana3[Captain Doom and Gloom] DEF: ugliness n, What humanity has done to earth
DEF: smartphone n, A communication devise for faking love and devotion
DEF: boots n, what makes females men
DEF: sandals n, What marks a castrated man
DEF: iPad n, What Big Bro is using to dumb down humanity
DEF: digital n, What people’s brains are evolving into
DEF: texting n, That which replaced human vocal cords
DEF: cash n. Useless paper pictures of dead Presidents
DEF: credit card n, A plastic ID to let everyone know your name
Key West’s vicious van dweller criminals, a dying breed. Link
ftr from the right 75h[FTR] Go ahead, ask my wife … she’ll tell you (if I’m in earshot) that I’m rarely wrong, being wrong really pisses me off. Even more rare is my admission that I was wrong. But this time I was wrong, really wrong, and I’m happy as a clam to admit it.

One of my deepest objections to Trump was my full and complete belief that he could not defeat Hillary. I based that belief on my gut and on all the evidence that was at hand at the time that I made that decision.

Now however, every day it become more and more evident that the Trump train will devastate Hillary. All the latest polling that I’ve seen, and that I respect, shows Hillary to be an also-ran.(continued on the National Politics page …)

Submit anything but National Politics to For National Politics go directly to that page, log in, and post your comment. NATIONAL POLITICS

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