2020 May Uncategorized

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

[Do Deer Chew “Cud”] They chew something all day while they are laying down. Do they burp up all my beautiful flowers and re-chew the mess just to rub it in? or is it a digestive thing?
Is it a good practice to spray WD-40 on my guns and wipe them down? Everything rusts so fast around here that using proper gun oil is too much trouble and time — and it stinks
[Movies] “If you fart, I’ll know you’re awake.”


We have 4 different types of ant traps by 4 different companies and none of them work. I’ve sprayed twice with Spectracide Termite and ant killer and it merely slowed them down. We’ve got different colored ant traps all over the house and it looks goofy.

[Lords Prayer, Sort Of]
Our father who is in D of C.
What are you doing?
Give use another day and
Make this virus go away
Let us horde our food
And cherish vodka cold.
Thou shall help us, oh, Lord
Or we’ll cut off your welfare
Tis not your way to harm your heard
But to fix our stupidity and greed
So, Lord, please send the pizza kid
With clean hands and a shit-eating grin
Thank you Dude, for all you have done
But man, get it right the next time, eh?
Sorry, Lord, that my rhyming sucks
But who really gives a puck?


[Coronavirus Derby] For all my horse racing friends, and others that should be, here is a simulated race to replace the “Greatest Two Minutes in Sport”, which has been postponed until September. The first time the KY Derby has been interrupted since WWII. Video

Going bananas means going crazy, becoming insane. It may also mean to go wild with anger, or to erupt with enthusiasm with accompanying cheering. The term going bananas is not as old as one may think, it has its roots on American college campuses in the 1960s. It is believed that the term going bananas is a term that evolved from the idiom going ape, which also means to go crazy, to explode with anger or to erupt with enthusiasm. The close association of apes and monkeys with bananas in the Western imagination probably gave rise to the term going bananas. For a brief time in the 1930s the term going bananas referred to someone who was sexually perverted, but that meaning has long fallen by the wayside. Related phrases are go bananas, goes bananas, went bananas.



[Warning Light] What does it mean when this light comes on the trailer wheel hub?

[Native Critters] How is the rattlesnake found on Cudjoe an ‘interloper’.  They have been here a lot longer than humans by many thousands of years. And this one, I don’t believe was ‘caught’, as it is dead. I found the snake by Banana Cabana on Thursday morning, in the road, squished by a car and covered in flies.


Not only are bartenders essential they are mental health counselors as well.

[Overexposed] If we would turn off the news for 3 days this virus would die for lack of attention.



[Hornet] First the Asians send over the virus, now they send giant murder hornets. We must have pissed them off somehow.

[Open For Business] The merchants are going to open the Keys before this virus is gone. Follow the money and the greed. If a second wave of death gets going, I hope the President calls for Martial Law and ends the a**holes who push for sick profits without caring for peoples’ lives.
[Canadian Mass Shooting] Authorities announced Tuesday that of the 22 victims, 13 were shot and nine died in house fires set by Wortman, who was disguised as a Royal Canadian Mounted Police officer and driving a replica of a police cruiser. Nine died in house fires set by Wortman. Link


[“High water bill”] The mystery high water usage is almost always a “haunted” toilet. Either it is slowly leaking at the flush valve flapper, or the fill valve is not completely shutting off. Put some food coloring in the toilet tank and leave the lid off. Don’t use the toilet and check for color in the bowl. The other thing a toilet may do is to not seat the flush valve properly on every flush.
In one Florida city, very high water use was identified as vandals opening an outside faucet and letting the hose run, and in project housing by vandals opening water heater pressure relief valves that were mounted outside the apartment walls.
FKAA can upload the continuous history of water flow from the smart meter and pinpoint where and when the water is being used.

[United Way] When COVID-19 hit, over 31,000 Monroe County households were one emergency away from financial ruin, setting the stage for the unprecedented economic impact of the crisis. Florida’s latest ALICE (Asset Limited, Income Constrained, Employed) Report, released today by United Ways in Florida, in partnership with United For ALICE, highlights hardworking yet struggling residents who have little or no savings and are especially vulnerable to the ramifications of COVID-19. The Florida ALICE Report and the Monroe County ALICE breakdown can be viewed at


[“Pickles”] The bands are metal bands that go over lids not rubber bands. Here’s some without the tops.

[“Not enough dead”] Can you imagine how many would be dead if we listened to the no nothings and let the virus run freely around the world? I shudder to think about it.


For only $3000, we come to your house dressed as a coronavirus rescue team to rescue you from your wife. We take you to your girlfriend’s place for 14 days quarantine and bring you back home afterwards.

[Air Show] Watch the very best fliers in the world and enjoy the experience. 17 minutes long, but you need to sit back, relax and watch these great airmen. Never will see this again. Filmed April 29, 2020 and already has had 1.5 million views. Video
[Chinese Food Barcode] The first 3 digits tell you where the product is made.
690, 691,692  MADE IN  CHINA
00 – 09   USA  &  CANADA
30 – 37   FRANCE
40 – 44   GERMANY
471   Taiwan
49   JAPAN
50   UK
Buy USA & Canadian made products by watching for “0” at the beginning of the bar code
[Kent State Massacre] May 4th 2020 marks the 50th anniversary of the Kent State massacre. Through archive and personal memory, Michael Goldfarb explores what America was like on that terrible weekend. Audio
Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young — Ohio


[Cinco de Mayo] Once in a lifetime Cinco de Mayo falls on Taco Tuesday while we are plagued with Corona and can’t attend.

[Weapons] I totally agree that any automatic weapon should be banned, but the laws already say that. No hunter needs more than 3 Rounds to hunt deer or any other animal, if they are skilled and need to. These military style weapons are for the advanced masturbationist who has a need for sexual gratification. Ha!
Really, there is logically no need for any weapons in a civilized culture, except for Game Wardens, and Zoo Keepers. There is no reason for war if humans were mature and intelligent, but we are no more that way than ants, or wild beasts. Most will say we need weapons or the other guys will take away our stuff. That defines humanity’s mental level. The simple fact of eating is what drives all creatures to survive. From the smallest virus to the huge Blue Whale, all kill to eat and exist. God screwed up big time by not giving us nutrition just by breathing. It sure would be a clean world if he did.



[Overseas Ferry] My Mom told me that the overgrown rubble at the road’s end and to the left in the bushes on No Name are the remnants of a post office that was there during the ferry times.

[Water Meter] I don’t have a leak that I know of, but I wonder about my bill. Hurricane Irma sent my meter-box cover down the street. I retrieved it, but since Irma, nobody from FKAA has replaced the wiring. So how do they read the meter now?


[Free Food] United Way of Collier and the Keys announces that a free drive-through food distribution will take place at Big Pine Key Dog Park on Thursday, May 7th from 12:00 to 2:00pm.  Traffic will flow in only one direction. Please use Wilder Road and turn Left onto South Street, and exit onto Key Deer Blvd. The food distribution is available to all who have lost income as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic and multiple families may be represented in each vehicle. All passengers in the vehicle must have a nose/mouth covering and a box should be placed in the vehicle trunk in which the volunteers will place the food.

[Don’t Get Scammed] Scammers are experts at shifting tactics and changing their messages to catch you off guard. This is especially true as they take advantage of anxieties related to the Coronavirus. Here’s a quick alert about some current government imposter scams using COVID-19 that are popping up on our radar. Link
[Neighbors, Be Damned] This man had put a Trump flag on his dock and the people across the canal from his house complained to the club. Apparently, they have a rule that you can’t hang political signs on your property. Admirals told him that he had to take the flag down. The guy got pissed and sent his boat to get a detailed vinyl wrapped and officially named the boat Trump. This is a video of him bringing the boat home after getting it vinyl wrapped. Video

[Engineer vs Architects] Don’t ever let an engineer design a house or you’ll be sorry. Their brains don’t work like architects and they’ll give you a complicated and very expensive house with little or no aesthetic value. But, it will be interesting!

[Anger Management] Shop guard murdered for enforcing mask policy. A woman has been charged along with her husband and son with killing a security guard who refused her daughter entry to a shop because she was not wearing a face covering. Link



The perfect family.(Ed: Sent in anonymously, no caption. I hope they’re local.)

[Phone Scam] I answered a phone call today. “Hi, and how are you doing today?”
“I’m Fine”
“Is this the (my correct last name) residence?”
“Yes, who is this?”
“You don’t recognize my voice?”
“No, who is this?”
“This is your Granddaughter.”I said very slowly “S-u-r-e”.
She said, “OK, bye”.

I’m sure 90% of households in my age group would have a granddaughter, but I do not.   I wish I’d have asked,  “Which one?”  I’ll bet the answer would have been, “Your favorite.” I wonder how many people wire money to this scammer.




[Tulips] The most beautiful tulip garden in the world. It’s closed now, but here’s a glimpse inside. Link

[Virus] People are ramey[?] and being that way they forget what will kill them. This bug in not the common seasonal flu, but many times more dangerous. With it mutating into new forms masks really are useless. We have to hide and not get exposed to this thing. I don’t give a F who says what officially or greedily (the merchants). Stay safe in your house. F all else! There is no cure yet or even in sight.


[“Going bananas”] Also, bananas are a very high glycemic index fruit and should be avoided by people seeking to lose fat or diabetics or people with any kind of cardiovascular disease. The carbohydrates (Sugar) in them spikes insulin and thus cortisol. This converts the carbohydrates into fat which your body then stores in your belly, your organs – – mainly your liver, and inside your arteries. The energetic spike one feels from eating sugar is followed by a low energy crash. This often makes people eat more carbs and this cycle is what makes us fat and diseased. The solution: don’t eat fruits high in sugar like bananas. Don’t eat many carbs at all. Eat meat and fat and low carb fruits like berries and low carb vegetables like broccoli and spinach, etc. This will cause your body to burn the fat, in the food, and stored in your body instead of the sugar. Awesome.

Austria has 90% drop in coronavirus cases after requiring people to wear face masks. Link




You’ll get it eventually!

[It Takes A Village] One thing I have learned from this virus is that we have too many idiots and not enough villages.



[Canada Bans Assault Weapons] Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said the government had been in the process of introducing the ban when its agenda was overturned by the pandemic. At least that’s a start. They’re for war not hunting. Link

[Virus] What is good and what is useless that can be shut down to control the spread of this virus killer? To put is simply, any business that does not produce food, water, sewage removal, or supply fuel for emergency vehicles, police, hospitals, and doctors.
Think hard and realize all other businesses and endeavors are really unnecessary to life on earth. Arts, sports, travel, tourism, wars, entertainment and religions are examples.
Maybe this horror will teach people to save half of their earned income for emergencies, and live life as though they are not a credit card with feet. Hopefully, they will learn what is important and what is not. Those that live on cloud 9, will never acknowledge this reality until they get sick and die.



[Virus Cure] Do not under any circumstance take a disinfectant if you are currently taking Windex for windmill cancer.

[“Refusing social distancing”] I give up on humanity. It is not worth trying to convince these people. People should stay at home until a medical fix cures this plague. People are so childish they will risk their lives to hit the beaches, go to a party, or hang out in some seedy bar. Sometimes I think this is Nature’s way to thin out the heard and allow the thinkers and realists to take back this monster playground man has created.

How old guys stay in shape
. Video

[Captain Doom and Gloom] Has anybody else noticed almost all the truly hip and rich people have gone someplace? Great politicians, great actors, great thinkers, great scientists and others who ran this rock have gone somewhere and left the drones and useless eaters to destroy our rock! Why and where did they go?