2017 November

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsPublished Tuesdays and Fridays. Letters to the editor with pictures.​ Since 0202.​

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[Coconuts To Feed Everyone] This will be our 34th or 35th Thanksgiving feed at the Coconuts (someone will give the correct number, not that it matters). All that really matters is we are here & you are with us. Thanks for the many years of support, Piners. We just couldn’t do it with out you. See you at the “NUT”

[Mold Destroyer] High levels of ozone do a great job of killing active mold and most odors except some artificial fragrances. I built my own using two 10,000 mg/h Chinese generator modules from eBay ($21 each, delivered (Link) and a 4″ duct fan I mounted in a plastic tool box. (Link)
I cut the cord off a discarded appliance and just wired everything in parallel (one wire from each component to each wire of the cord). Total cost was about $75 for an industrial level generator. Ozone shock kills everything. I have destroyed termites in a room by closing it off. Beware of rubber and some colors being damaged by high ozone. Put it on a timer or cord/circuit you can disconnect without entering the room under shock. It will smell bleachy for a little while.
[Time Running Out To Request FEMA Help] Just one week left to sign up for possible federal assistance for Hurricane Irma damages. Link


[One Man’s Trash is Another Man’s Treasure] Overwhelming, for sure. Piles of garbage or dreams? I guess that depends. If you’re just passing through–it’s garbage; if you live here and see your keepsakes in that pile–it’s dreams. We have much work to do. 2 months have passed

[Color Blind] I just bought some of the new screw-in florescent bulbs and wish I hadn’t wasted the money. They suck! Nobody tells you if you’re red and green color blind these bulbs are useless. Reading under that type of light is terrible. All the colors I see tend to blend and I lose detail. Never again.


Through its disaster response efforts, Habitat for Humanity thoroughly assesses the shelter and housing needs caused by these storms and works to help rebuild and repair homes alongside homeowners in need of a decent place to live.

Dewalt Tools is proud to announce its partnership with Habitat for Humanity and contribute over $800,000 in tools and monetary support for Habitat’s recovery and rebuilding efforts.

[Crook] Waylon James Cox of Big Pine Key was charged with felony burglary during a state of emergency, petty theft and possession of an Oxycontin pill without a prescription. The 45-year-old man who was hired to help with construction-related work and was subsequently fired by the resident for drinking was arrested Thursday amid allegations he stole a chain hoist from his former employer.


Come and join us for our Night of Thanks Celebration tomorrow, Wednesday, November 22. This year we will be having two seating times for dinner. Our first seating will run from 4:00 pm to 6:00 pm. Our second seating will run from 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm.

We will be serving turkey and inviting the community in for a free dinner and concert. Bring a side dish and/or a dessert and participate with all your friends in a Night of Thanksgiving at the Vineyard!

W/D Ham $6 each

[Cudjoe Burning] Dear Congressman Curbelo, and Monroe County Commissioners,
We’ve suffered the toxic, acrid smoke on Cudjoe Key for three weeks.  Our health is being robbed away. Please stop the burning now!
Thank you,
Cindy Dresow
(cough cough cough)

[Burning] HELP! We are being poisoned. Residents of SW Cudjoe Key and Upper Sugarloaf ’s “Indian Mound”  are suffering lung congestion, headaches, burning throats, itchy watery eyes, coughing spasms, and severe respiratory problems from the toxic smoke off Blimp Road.  The DOT has been burning hurricane debris day and night since the end of October. The smoke stinks with fumes of fuel used to keep the green wood burning.  Officials say it is only trees, but wiring, shingles, and hurricane debris are in the mix. Please read the enclosed doc to understand the dangers of wood smoke. Link



Warm thanks to our Navy for this heartfelt salute to the government.

A man rushed into his house and yelled, “Hey, start packing.  I won the lottery.”  His wife asked, “Shall I pack for the beach or the mountains.”  He replied, “I don’t care, just get out.”



[Mold] To the unfortunate people who have mold due to water damage, I found this product online. Why pay someone to do the job you can do yourself? Link

[Physical Therapy] Baptist Hospital isn’t advertising it, but their physical therapy clinic on Ship’s Way in Big Pine is now up and running having completed essential repairs following Hurricane Irma




[Folk Art] From Irma’s wreckage to Irma’s art. Piners Rock!  ~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store

[Hells Bells!] Malcolm Young, the rhythm guitarist and guiding force behind the bawdy hard rock band AC/DC who helped create such head-banging anthems as “Highway to Hell,” ‘‘Hells Bells” and “Back in Black,” has died. He was 64.
[“Fracking”] It is true that they can drill horizontally underground thru your property but they cannot do it without your approval. Usually a contract is written where the energy company will pay you every time water or gas runs thru your property. It can really add up because a well that is producing can stay very active. I’m not sure about the ability to run horizontally with the Keys water level being so shallow.
[Detroit Police Don’t Communicate] An internal investigation has been launched at the Detroit Police Department after two different precincts got into a turf war as they converged on an east side neighborhood. Neighbors who live on Andover on Detroit’s east side will be the first to tell you this area is known for constant drug activity.

“Definitely a drug problem in our neighbor for years,” said one resident, ” but I don’t think anyone can stop it.”

On Thursday Detroit police certainly tried — but maybe too hard. Sources say it started when two special ops officers from the 12th Precinct were operating a “push off” on Andover near Seven Mile. That is when two undercover officers pretend to be dope dealers, waiting for eager customers to approach, and then arrest potential buyers and seize their vehicles.

But this time, instead of customers, special ops officers from the 11th Precinct showed up. Not realizing they were fellow officers, they ordered the other undercover officers to the ground. The rest of the special ops team from the 12th Precinct showed up, and officers began raiding a house in the 19300 block of Andover. But instead of fighting crime, officers from both precincts began fighting with each other. Sources say guns were drawn and punches were thrown while the homeowner stood and watched.

The department’s top cops were notified along with Internal Affairs. Each officer involved is now under investigation as the department tried to determine what went wrong. One of the units had body camera video that detailed the entire incident. That is now part of the internal investigation. Top brass doesn’t plan to comment on this until next week.

Q: How many introverts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Why does it have to be a group activity?



How to ensure a nice quiet Thanksgiving with peace among the family.

[Conquistadores 1518 Mexico] Cortes said, “You must relinquish those human sacrifices, no longer eat human flesh, and abstain from committing unnatural offences and other abominations customary with you.”

One certain spot in this township I never shall forget, situated near the temple. Here a vast number of human skulls were piled up in the best order imaginable. There must have been more than 100,000; I repeat, more than 100,000. In like manner you saw the remaining human bones piled up in order in another corner of the square; these it would have been impossible to count. Besides these, there were human heads hanging suspended rom beams on both sides. Three priests stood sentinel on this place of skulls, for which purpose, it was told us, they were particularly appointed. Similar horrible sights we saw towards the interior of the country in every township.




Coconuts’ annual Thanksgiving feast is waiting for everyone!

[Art Festival] The Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce is hosting its annual Island Art Festival this Saturday, November 25 from 9 am – 2 pm on the Chamber’s grounds at MM31.  There is still room for vendors, so give us a call at 305-872-2411 to get your spot.

There will be a cookie eating contest, a children’s art contest, live music, Pizzaworks’ pizza, and a lot of fun for all so come out and join us for this great outdoor event and maybe buy a unique gift.

A special greeting of Thanksgiving time to express to you our sincere appreciation for your confidence and loyalty.  We at the Johnsons Insurance Agency are deeply thankful and extend to you our best wishes for a happy and healthy Thanksgiving Day with your loved ones. In observance of the holiday, our office will close at 1:00 pm on Wednesday for an extended weekend. We will resume normal business hours on Monday.
(Ed: A kind soul went through much of the Business Directory updating it until they were exhausted. Now I have someone else who is willing to take up where she left off, but I forgot how far the first person got? Deer first wonderful woman, please remind me how far you got in this time consuming task!)
I was watching PT 109 and when the crew was on the island, hiding from Japs, it looked like one of the Keys like I remembered from snorkeling years ago.  So I Googled the question & it came up Big Pine Key.  Your site also came up & I read it.  Great! Keep going.  ~Angela

Full Menu > Big Pine Museum > PT-109 Movie Filmed at Munson Island

[United States Marine Corps Birthday] Words are insufficient in describing the debt of gratitude I harbor for those who gathered to celebrate this year’s 242nd Birthday of the United States Marine Corps. With the passing of my long time Marine Brother and partner, Norm Higgins, along with the destruction associated with Hurricane Irma, I didn’t know if I was going to be able to provide our Marines, their families and the citizens of Monroe County with what has become a “bedrock event”.

At first, I doubted my ability to pull it off. However, coming to my aid and rescue were a bevy of entities and individuals, all generously and enthusiastically pulling me along towards our mutual goal and objective.

Without the strong support and philanthropic goodwill of the Publix Supermarket Corporation and our own Chef Michael’s Restaurant, this birthday celebration would not have occurred.

Linda Ellis, Diane McKinley and Carolyn Thomas made certain that all the deli platters and cakes were properly prepared and graciously  served to the audience. As usual, many unsung heroes worked feverishly to get the American Legion Post 333 in Key Largo ready for this event. In addition, a multitude of supporters worked quietly behind the scene to ensure a pleasant experience for our guests.

Marine Corps’ Major Jason Kendall set up an invigorating video, which depicted “life” as a United States Marine. Students from a multitude of grade levels eagerly participated in portions of the ceremony.

State Attorney Dennis Ward, Veterans Service Officer Gary Johnson, School Board Member John Dick, Key Largo Wastewater Commissioner Sue Heim and long time Veteran’s Advocate Attorney Jack Bridges; honored us with their presence. These community leaders have regularly put forth an abundance of  kindness, advocacy and magnanimous action on behalf of our nation’s veterans and their families. They’ve tirelessly gone beyond the “call of duty”.

Without the willingness of The Coconut Telegraph’s editor to stand with the United States Marine’s of Monroe County and promote their birthday celebration, this event would have failed in its intent and purpose.

My heartfelt thanks and sincerest appreciation goes to the sizeable assembly of spirited citizens that gathered to make this year’s celebration a success. The honor and respect generated by their presence; acknowledged the appreciation and indebtedness held by many American’s for the Marines that have sacrificed and served them, for such a long time.

Thank You & Semper Fidelis, John Donnelly

[Writer’s Group] As we do every year, we’ll take a break from writers group meetings for the holidays. There will be no December meetings and we’ll skip January 3 because it’s so close to New Years.

Hoping everyone finds hope and gratitude on Thanksgiving and celebrates Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and the New Year peacefully with the company and encouragement of loved ones. See you in 2018!

Gary Numan is actually 13 days older than Gary Oldman. (I gotta stop smoking this shit)
The annual KW Orchid Society Holiday Brunch is coming up a month from today, Sunday, Dec. 17, 11 to 2. It is at the Club at Key West Harbour on Stock Island where we had our special October brunch. Why not just send in your reservation right now and avoid the Christmas rush? Send your check made out to KWOS  for $25 per person to:

Kathy Buckard, 51 Boundary Lane, Key West 33040. She’d like to have your response by Dec. 10 so the chef will know how many to cook for.

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