2018 September

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​​

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[David Wolkowsky is Dead] David Wolkowsky, Mr Key West, whose vision for Key West helped transform it from an island in decline into a colorful tourist destination that draws artists and writers, died Sunday night at 99. He introduced white lattice work and ceiling fans to the island and bright open decks. His taste was exceptional. Wolkowsky opened Pier House hotel in 1968, which began to draw visitors from around the country, including author Truman Capote, who noted its air of “elegant inefficiency.” Part developer and part preservationist, Wolkowsky renovated more properties than he could remember, including Ernest Hemingway’s original watering hole, Capt. Tony’s Saloon — which Wolkowsky and his sisters inherited from their father — and the Kress building, an old dime store in the heart of Key West. It’s now home to both Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville Cafe and a rooftop penthouse Wolkowsky built for himself. Much of Duval Street and Mallory Square, two major tourist areas, were originally Wolkowsky creations.

David was so fussy and creative that when looking at his newly built fence on the Brito’s Boat Yard side of Pier House, he had Peter Bernhardt knock out all the knots in the vertical planks to give it a more tropical look. At the time, doing that was the talk of the town, and the word “anal” was first used. Link

My wife is always remembering things that never happened and using it against me.
[Ripoff: Medical Marijuana in the Keys] Iona Cannabis Clinic – Florida Keys.
The process:
Step 1: Establish your medical condition with Dr Sonn
Step 2: Complete your on-line application to the State of Florida
Step 3: Receive a temporary card via email (approx. 2 weeks after your certification appointment)
Step 4: Purchase medicine from authorized Medical Marijuana Treatment Centers/Dispensaries. (Medicine is delivered to your door from the dispensary)
Initial certification Visit $295.00 plus State application fee $75. Plus $200 renewal in 7 months.
It’s cheaper and easier to buy it on the street. What’s worse is they don’t sell anything; and only proscribe derivatives that you must vape and buy from someone else. You can’t buy the bud.
[“I’ve burned my shoes, I’m boycotting Ford Trucks, I quit watching the NFL”] You are missing the point. Social protest is your only chance of having any say in government, regardless of your views. Numerous political causes, both left and right, drew inspiration from protest movements. That is true patriotism.



[Poison Ivy Cure] Wherever you find poison ivy, you’ll probably find jewelweed nearby. Just crush some leaves and stems and rub it on the rash and in about a half hour the rash will be gone. I sure wish I knew that when I was a kid growing up in the New England woods.

I wonder if there is a plant growing in the Keys near poisonwood that neutralizes that nasty plant. I’ve seen several examples of nature providing cures for plants that harm humans by growing the cure nearby. Link

Dear Lower Keys Friends and Neighbors, just a reminder that the Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce will be hosting a Meet-the-Candidates Q & A at Boondocks this Thursday (September 27th) at 6:30 pm.  This is your chance to meet the candidates who are on the November 6th ballot, and find out which candidates are qualified, prepared, and involved in our Lower Keys Community. Link

I hope to see you there!  ~Beth
Beth Ramsay-Vickrey for KW Utility Board, Seat D

[“Who pays for the Florida Keys Overseas Heritage Bike Trail”] I inspected the Trail near the plantings from Kemp Channel to Big Pine Key oceanside and found no evidence of damage from heavy trucks. Is there a specific spot I should check?  You are correct that the Trail was not designed for this type of use and I am sending your concerns to FDOT, any additional info on damage would be helpful.
Thank you,
Mike Guarino, Florida Department of Environmental Protection, Division of Recreation & Parks, Park Manager
[Traffic Jam] Cow Key Channel Bridge Want to see traffic jams in tiny Key West? Wait until 2020! Key West has one road leading on and off the island, all in a Y-pattern that locals call the Triangle. It leads from U.S. 1 over the Cow Key Bridge and onto North or South Roosevelt Boulevards.

Come February 2020, that sole entrance to the Keys’ marquee tourist attraction will be disrupted for at least 16 months so the state can repair the Cow Key Bridge, which connects Key West proper to Stock Island. Link

[Mobile Home Park Redevelopment] Worse than the hurricane. There he raised his family, adding rooms for the children as they came into the world, improving the home on the salary of a maintenance man, repairing the damage after every hurricane. He didn’t own the land, but he was safe: Under the Florida Mobile Home Act of 1984, the park owner couldn’t change the use of the land without either helping the mobile home owner with the cost to relocate to another park or purchasing the mobile home at fair market value. Video



North Korea is using our warship as a museum! USS Pueblo spy ship crew tell Trump to bring vessel home from North Korea. Link

[Orchid Society Newsletter] We’re looking forward to seeing you Sunday, Sept. 30 at the last home visit of the season. It’s at Marianne Bertini’s on Big Coppitt. KWOS0918newsletter
[“Bad Cuban vacation”] Most folks who don’t like Cuba is because they are looking for American standards in a third world country. A big reason for foreign travel is to experience different cultures, not to find the best Holiday Inn.


Painting by Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones. It’s no surprise that talented people paint too.  There are so many famous people who paint really well it would make a very long list. Link

[Grass For Gas] I just found out you can put this cannabis oil in your car and run a diesel engine on it, with no pollution except happy fumes. Save the world, grow grass for gas!
[“Keys diet”] Sounds about right. No mention of fresh Keys seafood because there isn’t any or the diet belongs to an alcoholic transplant from New Somewhere Else. My guess is Philly because of lunch. He is right about the rare blond or redhead–most of the hair there is grey.
Divorce Florida Keys style is who dies from alcoholism first.
[Trade War] I heard that there was a tariff on Chinese solar panels going into effect yesterday, so Sunday, figuring I’d better act quickly. I bought another panel for my array, but think I was too late. The same panel I bought a few weeks ago costs $10 more Sunday. But it just might be Amazon’s greed too, because whenever you re-order something from Amazon it always costs more.




[Self Parking] 1931 Packard self parking car. Well ahead of its time, but a very good idea. Video

[Forgotten Revolutionary] ] Samuel Huntington. Declaration of Independence signer, Constitution signer, President of the Continental Congress. I guess he’ll be the next unknown Patriot they make a Broadway play about. Link
[Greed] The Florida Keys are a prime example of a self-defeating society in that the greedy get greedier because they want to make the same profits that they could if they were in a heavier populated year-long “season” area. The merchants here think they can mark-up their products to be even with the rest of Florida’s. “Stupid is that stupid does.” If they wanted to survive, they should lower their pricing to draw in more visitors to these God forsaken sand mounds. $12.95 for a grubby Cheeseburger? Forgetaboutit!



People are happy in almost every country that is not Islamic. Link

[Movies] Where do they get off showing people hanging by the neck from a light fixture or ceiling fan? Those things are only held up by 2 one-eighth inch diameter screws that are only strong enough to hold the fan or light–not a 200 pound body hanging and jerking from those skinny screws.
We only find God during bad times. If it turns our right, we thank God. If it turns out bad, we say it’s meant to be. We can have it both ways as long as we have faith.
[$530 Taped Up Sneaker] Nordstrom’s $530 dirty, taped-up sneakers sell out despite consumer outcry. Despite outrage from some Nordstrom customers that a $530 dirty sneaker “mocks poverty,” Golden Goose’s Superstar Taped Up sneaker has sold out.

Some people just have too much money and no sense. I saw a TV starlet go to destitute natives in Africa dressed in her $350 torn jeans, designed to look like a poor person’s. The contrast of the villagers’ skins and rags to her designer “rags” was really strange. What’s really disappointing is that some of you would like to buy a pair. How can a person be so shallow. Video

[Middle Torch Key Environmental Cleanup] Habitat for Humanity of Key West and the Lower Keys will be submitting a proposal for a Brownfields Cleanup Grant to the US Environmental Protection Agency this fall to fund remediation of contamination at the former Baltuff Dump Site. Requests for additional information can be directed to Marty Elek, HFH Construction Manager, email
The Rotary Club of Key Largo has donated $1,000 to help provide free child care for four and five year olds at Key Largo School. The funds were a pass-through donation of unused campaign contributions from newly-elected school board member Sue Woltanski. Woltanski ran unopposed for District 5 of the Monroe County School Board and will assume office in November. Link
[Cudjoe Gardens] Who owns that unsightly property that used to be a nice plant and tree garden in Cudjoe Gardens? Now there are ugly containers, overgrown weeds, abandon vehicles and no one seems to care in that million-dollar property community! Someone should make the State clear it or require the owner to maintain it to the same standard as the other properties. Building any form of restaurant business there would degrade Cudjoe Gardens’ land values many times.
[Court Testimony by Crew Member of Bounty] “I happened to awake just after daylight, and looking out of my hammock, I saw a man sitting upon the arm-chest in the main hatchway, with a drawn cutlass in his hand, the reason of which I could not divine; so I got out of bed and inquired of him what was the cause of it. He told me that Mr. Christian, assisted by some of the ship’s company had seized the captain and put him in confinement; had taken the command of the ship and meant to carry Bligh home a prisoner, in order to try him by court-martial, for his long tyrannical and oppressive conduct to his people.”

The charges set forth that Fletcher Christian, who was mate of the Bounty, assisted by others of the inferior officers and men, armed with muskets and bayonets, had violently and forcibly taken that ship from her commander, Lieutenant Bligh; and that he, together with the master, boatswain, gunner, and carpenter, and other persons (being nineteen in number), were forced into the launch and cast adrift.

There is no path to peace. The path is peace.  ~Ghandi

My husband wants to move to the Lower Keys, but he doesn’t want to buy an expensive home. Where is there a listing for Mobil Home Parks and will they allow large families? We have seven children. My husband cannot work due to illness, so we will be living on welfare.

I’ll wager movie soundmen have great big libraries of sounds as photographers have large libraries of subjects. I’ll bet they have sounds of every car or truck whether it’s starting, idling, accelerating, braking, etc.



[Clueless About The Keys] My friends in Seattle asked me where I moved to. I answered the Florida Keys. They then wise cracked as to how I liked living in the Florida slums. Come to think of it, they are right.

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