2018 September

Friday, September 28, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​​

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I snagged this line on my prop. I was going real slow in very shallow water when I felt something wrong, I looked at the engine and it was wobbling. I turned it off, raised the engine and there it was, fouled line on my prop. I grabbed a handful and, lo and behold, it pulled right off in one easy try. Man, that never happens!The morning after a major gale my friend had to dive on her inboard fishing boat to cut off a polypropylene “donut” that melted around her driveshaft.  A donut is where plastic lobster or crap trap line tangles the prop and melts around the drive shaft squeezing it until the engine overheats. Her anchor dragged the night before and her propeller fouled a trap line. It happened at night during a full gale. Her anchor dragged and fouled a lobster trap. She was trying desperately to keep her boat off Christmas Tree Island. She knew the plastic line was damaging her motor, but she didn’t have a choice, she had to chance losing power or crash into the island! No good options. She saved the boat. Maybe dragging that 60 pound lobster trap helped.






Help wanted for a local insurance office. 305-872-0097

[Murderess] Keys driver guilty of vehicular manslaughter in 2015 crash. On March 30, a Big Pine Key couple set off in a sailboat moored in a Lower Keys harbor because they said they thought the $350,000 yacht was abandoned. Link
There actually was news, other than the Supreme Court hearing!  Wyoming wildfire burns 55 homes, blackens 80 square miles. Link



[“Unknown Founding Father”] If you expanded the Samuel Huntington post, thank you. I am proud to be his distant nephew, Uncle Sam. Link

[Friday Joke] I heard it through the grapevine that there’s a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night. The new wine will be marketed as Pinot More.




Mullets were active west of Port Pine Heights the other day, churning up the bottom looking for dinner. That’s what the pretty aqua lines are that we see in the shallows.

[Friday Joke] In church one Sunday morning, the preacher said, “Anyone with special needs who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar.”
With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, “Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?”
Leroy replied, “Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing.” The preacher put one finger of one hand on Leroy’s ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy’s head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.
After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, “Leroy, how is your hearing now?”
Leroy answered, “I don’t know. It ain’t ’til Thursday.”




They stole a local’s boat and sailed to Cuba for a ‘honeymoon.’ On March 30, a Big Pine Key couple set off in a sailboat moored in a Lower Keys harbor because they said they thought the $350,000 yacht was abandoned. Link

[Music Fest in Marathon] Bill Heffernan “DUI Guy” is the proud sponsor of Coral Country Road & Coral Head Music Fest in Marathon, Florida Keys. Video


[Candidate Forum] Thank you to the Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce for hosting a great Candidate Forum last night at Boondocks.  And thank you to all who came out! If you couldn’t make it, I hope you can take 2-minutes to view my candidate address. Video  ~Beth
Beth Ramsay-Vickrey for (Keys Energy) Utility Board Seat D

[Slow Poke] Never hypothetically ask yourself if the person in front of you can go any slower, because the answer is yes.
Soccer Ball Man at Sacre Coeur, Paris. You’ve never seen anything like this! Video
[Cirrhosis of the Liver] “Alcohol does not cause cirrhosis. It is estimated that 10% of the population is alcoholic that would be 28 million people. Since only 25,000 die each year (0.1%), something else must be at cause. Alcoholic cirrhosis is not itself a disease. The cirrhotic liver is merely the largest organ showing damage inflicted systemically. Although the acute symptoms are treated, the cirrhotic liver itself is not treated by contemporary medical practice.
Alcoholic cirrhosis is a collection of symptoms of other diseases, primarily vitamin deficiency diseases, identified in the first half of the 20th century. What was cutting edge medicine only 50 years ago has now become such old news that many physicians do not recognize the symptoms, even when they present in themselves or close family members.”
What the author of the above has done is to analyze each of the horrendous symptoms of a cirrohotic liver and realize that each is a symptom of a condition such as Dropsy or Beriberi that develops when alcohol or the treatment of an alcohol related symptom (like acid reflux) results in the depletion of a vital nutrient that among other things prevents the ability of the liver to regenerate itself.
I took the above quotation from the website of a man who suffered immensely from cirrhosis and was likely to die before he could get a transplant. He adopted the protocol to cure the ailments of the cirrhosis syndrome and although he still has a damaged liver, he suffers none of the typical cirrhosis symptoms. He lost the ascites bloating, regained his healthy weight, lost the pain, and is living a normal life again (except he gave up booze!) Link
How not to dock. Video



[Winn Dixie] Weekly ad. Link

[Supreme Court Nominee Kavanaugh] He said he was a virgin all though high school and latter, and was proud of it.

What’s to be proud of. Here’s a deeply religious man who’s denying God’s gift of sexuality and he’s proud of that? I think it was his Jesuit education. They teach that sex is bad and only should be used to create more little Catholics. This has nothing to do with his nomination and shouldn’t influence anyone, but for its oddity. What is anyone saving it for? Was he afraid that he’d wear it out? I never understood what virgins (over the age of consent of course) are saving it for. I think those people are afraid of contact with a female’s naked skin.

The Charlie Schulz philosophy – little secrets of life. Link



The original “search engine”.

Putting “islands” in U.S. 1 at Founders Park on Plantation Key might be preferable to a pedestrian bridge over the highway. The FDOT has agreed to build the pedestrian overpass at an estimated cost of $2.5 million. The village pledged to maintain elevators on both sides of the bridge and pay for electricity. Link
[Movies] Everyone takes a handful of pills. Nobody just takes one or two. Why’s that? Imagine taking a handful and not having an awful effect.


In 1831 the last brick was laid on London Bridge – the culmination of years of work by renowned engineer John Rennie. Can we avoid a Cow Key bridge fiasco? Link

[Breadfruit] This celebrated fruit—but for which the Bounty, would never have been sent forth, and the mutiny with its wonderful consequences would never have occurred—grows on a tree the size of a large apple-tree, the leaves of which are of a very deep green. The fruit, larger than an orange, has a thick rind, and if gathered before becoming ripe, and baked in an oven, the inside resembles the crumb of Wheaten bread, and is very palatable. It lasts in season about eight months of the year.
[Realtors: Clean water sells homes] Concern about South Florida’s water quality extends beyond the sport and recreational fishing sectors. If you don’t want to protect the environment for ascetic and moral reasons, how about protecting the environment for money reasons? Link




[Rock of the Keys] Eat you heart out Rock of Gibraltar! We’ve got our own. Do any of you know where it is?

[Slow Going in 1911 Africa] In 1871 my Expedition after Livingstone performed 360 English miles in 54 days = about 61/2 miles per day. In 1874 my Expedition across Africa performed 360 English miles in 64 days, viz., from Bagamoyo to Vinyata = 5-3/4 miles per day. In 1874-75 the same Expedition reached Lake Victoria from Bagamoyo, 720 miles distance in 103 days = 7 miles per day. In 1876 the same Expedition traversed 360 miles, the distance from Lake Uhimba to Ujiji in 59 days = 6-1/10 miles per day
[Mosquito Control Authority] Let’s think more about Ralph DePalma qualifications to sit on the Board of Directors of a multi-million dollar organization.  An organization that is charged with keeping us from mosquito caused disease.  The Florida Keys Mosquito Control Authority, aka Mosquito Control, aka MC.

We’ve already noted that Mr. DePalma when previously employed by MC was considered to be barely a “satisfactory” employee.  He himself complained that he was ranked near the bottom of the performance ratings of all employees.

MC has about 65 employees, tens of millions of dollars worth of equipment, structures, vehicles, and aircraft.  MC has an annual budget of about $18 million.  All of that bought and paid for by you, with your tax dollars.  It is a complicated and precise governmental operation that requires top-notch management.

We must ask ourselves if Ralph DePalma has demonstrated the skill set necessary for service on the MC Board. Let’s look at how he has managed his campaign, it is an indicator of his administrative skills. He has been fined by the Supervisor of Elections for being late in filing his campaign finance forms. His campaign signs have been found to be improper because he failed to imprint each with the proper disclaimer.  He was required to remove the signs. Raph DePalma improperly placed many campaign signs in Islamorada. Islamorada has specific ordinances that regulate where and when campaign signs can be displayed.  He ignored the ordinance, he was forced to remove his signs.  As a consequence, he was ordered to pay a fine.  He still has not paid the fine as of this writing. Ralph DePalma also had improper disclaimers on each of his radio ads. He was required to withdraw them and to comply with the law.

Ralph DePalma can’t seem to adequately manage his own one-man campaign. He should not be entrusted with Mosquito Control. It’s your health that’s on the line. On the other hand, Ralph DePalma is reported to be a pretty good guitar player and a decent photographer.  That’s good.  But it doesn’t qualify him to sit on the MC board.  ~From The Right Guy,

AARP October activities calendar. Full Menu > Ongoing Events
[Accuser] We need a law for anyone who falsely accuses another in a court of law that the accuser has to pay all court costs and serve prison time!




These Ibis were flying out by Sawyer Key. The original flying vee (that’s a nod to the classic Gibson guitar).

Kavanaugh, “I was a virgin.”  =  Clinton, “I didn’t inhale.”
[Resorts] If they wanted to survive, they should lower their pricing to draw in more visitors to these God forsaken sand mounds. $12.95 for a grubby Cheeseburger? $12.95 cheeseburger? Where? “Back home in Mudvale?” Here’s the deal, the same road you drove down on is how cow gets to the sand mounds. Did you see herds of cattle grazing in the key lime fields? No. As far as surviving, the last thing the Keys needs are more people. The canals are filthy – the ones we used to swim in are now green. For what it’s worth a cheapburger in paradise is $12.95, add a pint of beer for $8 and a 20% tip, you just spent $24 shekels. A real burger – not some chain drive-thru – on the mainland ain’t much less anymore. You see our economy is based on tourism, so whether you’re in Miami/Ft. Laud; West Palm, Tampa/St. Pete/Clearwater, or Disney/Whorelando, you’re gonna get soaked to stay and play. You oughta try living here and paying tourist prices. But hey, it’s warm right?



If the broom fits, wear it!

Bill Cosby will get jail time, but why. He did nothing more than any bartender does to whack out a bimbo! Grow up America!
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