2018 September

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​

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[Wetstock 14] What a great day and it didn’t rain on us once! The weather looked so bad I only expected a few boats to show up–no so. What a great crowd. What great music. I love this place! The Bob’s were really good. The sound system was great. The singer for Haywire was that star of the show, no maybe Keri from M&M was the star? No, Flip Flop Bob was the real star! Thanks Bob, you pulled off another great event.

[Affordable Housing Mandate] 10,000 additional permanent residents for the Keys! And none of them will ever know the water color to be anything other than green. Think I’m fooling? Look at Biscayne Bay — it’s brown. That’s the next color in the near-shore waters spectrum after it’s been clear and green. I know this because I’ve watched it happen, I’m that effin old. Build the wall – the one that runs along the northern Florida border.



Not to brag or anything but my swear jar has paid the power bill a time or two.

[“Killing black people”] A study just found that the Ku Klux Klan has killed 3,446 black people in 86 years. Every 6 months black people kill black people at about 6,000 a year.  6,000 a year times 86 = 592,712  black people killed by black people. This was told by a black Rev. to the crowd at Aretha Franklin’s funeral in Detroit. Love one another.
[“Affordable housing mandate from the State”] Where are they going to put them? More major development, more traffic, more congestion, less Keys lifestyle. Wouldn’t it make more sense to let homeowners build and rent their own downstairs apartments? FEMA be damned! Locals are willing to agree to any compromise FEMA wants. What we need is real leadership instead of those politicians who are happy with their paycheck for doing nothing but feed developers more money.


[Killing Kids] America is the only country that kills its children every day.  Oh, the truth hurts? Well do something about it. Shoot the NRA! Link

[“Why Russian online disinformation works”] Because Americans are idiots, having lost all critical thinking skills, the result of relentless attacks on education and hatred of experts.
When is the party celebrating Irma recovery at the County park to be? I would assume September 6, but being the Keys they will probably celebrate the hurricane’s anniversary on a different date.


[Black On Black Murder] Response to killing black people; a study just found that the Ku Klux Klan has killed 3,446 black people in 86 years. Every 6 months black people kill black people = to approx. 6,000 a year.  6,000 a year times 86 = 592,712  black people killed by black people. This was told by a black Rev. to the crowd at Aretha Franklin’s funeral in Detroit. Love one another

Using a condom does not guarantee safe sex.  A friend was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.
[“Taking a knee”] Where were all of the people with their panties in a knot about NFL players when Tim Tebow was taking a knee at his workplace, during working hours, and holding a small religious prayer?

Selective rage is the new thing now. I wonder if those very same people would also approve of an NFL player having a prayer rug to pray on during the game. I’m sure that for some reason would be “different”.



I never lie because I don’t fear anyone. You only lie when you’re afraid. ~John Gotti, Gangster

[First Impressions] Exposure to violence and a child’s developing brain. Video
God exists because we expect it too and for no other reason.
[Familiarity Breeds Contempt] I just figured it out. Girls like to get to know you before having sex with a guy. Guys just want to have sex first. Oftentimes when they get to know each other they no longer want to have sex. That’s the problem. Guys got it right, if only girls would see it that way.  Love first, ask questions latter.
[Movies] So many movies are filmed in the dark that it gets annoying when I can’t see what they are doing. All I see is faces and hands. I’m surprised that Hollywood hasn’t found a way around filming in the dark so we could see what the hell is going on.
[Wetstock] What great music! That was the best bunch of musicians I’ve seen at any Wetstock.




[Remember Our Veterans] This would be a cool program for Key West or Big Pine Key too! They have 34 veterans so far; I just added my father. Link

[“Take A knee”] It’s no wonder those against kneeling during the National Anthem don’t even understand why the football players are kneeling! If they did they wouldn’t be so hateful to those players. It takes guts to do what those players do.
For you dunderheads who don’t know the reason for kneeling, is it is to protest to the way police treat black people in the land of the free.
[Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority’s New $23 Million Headquarters]  Any doubt that a sudden increase in water and sewer charges is coming in the near future?  Maybe this is why there was such a huge interest in getting the “right people” on the Utility Board?
[Wet Willy] Authorities say a Florida man has been arrested for being belligerent and giving his girlfriend a wet willy. A St. Lucie County sheriff’s deputy went to the home after Joseph Sireci’s girlfriend told authorities he was drunk on the living room floor when she returned from work earlier this month. According to an affidavit, she said Sireci accompanied her and her daughter to another home where Sireci continued to be belligerent and on the way home, grabbed her hand, pulled her arm and gave her a wet willy by sticking his wet finger in her ear. The daughter confirmed her mother’s account. Their names were not released. Treasure Coast Newspapers reports Sireci was charged with battery. He declined to give a written statement, but said he wasn’t drunk.
Craving the sound of a great blues harmonica? Check out Will Wilde’s solo on his sister Dani Wilde’s rendition of “Deeper Than Black” I am so pleased to have rediscovered the extremely talented musician Dani Wilde. She is amazingly versatile- awesome soulful voice and plays a superb guitar effortlessly, and really clean. Her brother Will Wilde plays a ferocious harmonica on many of her songs- the best I’ve ever heard. They absolutely excel playing the Stones’ tune “Miss You”, and her rendition of “Houndog” is nothing like Elvis. Watch her suddenly rock it out when she gets about one minute in. Blazing hot piano and harmonica on that song too.
Check out some of her tunes on YouTube. Varied and Impressive! I bought some of her CDs and there are no losers.
Here’s an emotionally charged performance by Dani of “I love you more than I hate myself” with a style and soulful intensity reminiscent of Janis Joplin. Video
Stevie Wonder played the harmonica at Aretha Franklin’s funeral. He was so awful I thought it painful to watch. Video


Italian car phones 1949. Video

[Snopes: “False”] If you don’t have time to read this, you may very well be the problem. My question to all of us would be, how did we ever get so far away from this high school principal’s introduction to his new students? We let this mess happen & we must clean it up. The can has been kicked to the end of the road. The buck stops with us, now. Vote & vote wisely. ~Coconuts <@)}}}><

“To the students and faculty of our high school: I am your new principal and honored to be so. There is no greater calling than to teach young people. I would like to apprise you of some important changes coming to our school. I am making these changes because I am convinced that most of the ideas that have dominated public education in America have worked against you, against your teachers and against our country…” Link

[Canal Cleaning Has Began] Some crews have starting in Geiger Key and working their way north while other crews started in Key Largo and working their way south.  The bad news is Port Pine Heights will be one of the last communities on their schedule.  The tentative schedule for us starts on 12/10/2018 beginning on the canals north of Kyle Blvd then move to the canals south of Kyle to Gulf Blvd. with a 1/10/2019 finishing date. Link
Aretha Franklin’s funeral: All the videos
What is the website link for Mote Marine Lab Center for Tropical Research in Summerland Key in the Keys? Link
[Lousy Flyer] The John McCain III lost jet number one in 1958 when he plunged into Corpus Christi Bay while practicing landings. He was knocked unconscious by the impact coming to as the plane settled to the bottom.

McCain’s second crash occurred while he was deployed in the Mediterranean. “Flying too low over the Iberian Peninsula,” Timberg wrote, “he took out some power lines which led to a spate of newspaper stories in which he was predictably identified as the son of an admiral.”
McCain’s third crash occurred when he was returning from flying a Navy trainer solo to Philadelphia for an Army-Navy football game. Timberg reported that McCain radioed, “I’ve got a flameout” and went through standard relight procedures three times before ejecting at one thousand feet. McCain landed on a deserted beach moments before the plane slammed into a clump of trees.

McCain’s fifth loss happened during his 23rd mission over North Vietnam on Oct. 26, 1967, when McCain’s A-4 Skyhawk was shot down by a surface-to-air missile. McCain ejected from the plane breaking both arms and a leg in the process and subsequently parachuted into Truc Bach Lake near Hanoi.

[General Election Candidate Forum] Sept 12, Key Largo. The Island of Key Largo Federation of Homeowner Associations, the Tavernier Community Association, and the Upper Keys League of Women Voters will host a candidate forum and amendment primer at the Murray Nelson Government Center, Wednesday, Sept 12, 2018, MM 102 Bayside. The evening starts at 5:30 pm with a “Meet the Candidate” refreshment hour, including free snacks provided by the host organizations and a cash bar provided by the Friends of the Key Largo Cultural Center. Bar profits help the Friends make this facility available for future educational, performance and cultural events.



[Ride Sharing] Hundreds of rental bikes dumped in Dallas as Chinese ride sharing company Ofo opts out. Link

The Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services (FDACS) is the state’s clearinghouse for consumer complaints, protection and information and regulates various business industries operating in Florida.

FDACS provides a variety of resources at to protect Florida consumers and ensure they have the information they need to make informed decisions. Link

[“The National Politics the CT is printing”] Good! It’s about time we got the realities back and not have to read just the local airhead crap. The world is falling apart from sissies and dingbats who do not want to see the evil that is real!


[Money Spent Without Permission] Who the hell gave politicians the right to give my tax money to whomever they please. Enough of supporting the bums, the misfits, the illegals and not doing the maintenance I hired them for. Charity begins at home — my home!

The federal government tells Mosquito Control what chemicals they can use so Phil Goodman your knowledge of chemicals does nothing for Mosquito Control. Phil Goodman you are the one that wanted term limits for everyone but you! Gov Scott appointed you to try and get the County to take over Mosquito Control because they could do such a good job (ha). My name is Gary Schwartz, I spent 15 years with Mosquito Control. At that time when I was taking Mr Goodman around he said he took the position because he was bored. Mr Goodman has done all he can to take down Mosquito Control. When mosquito diseases get back in the news you will need a strong Mosquito Control without Phil Goodman.  ~Gary Schwartz
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