2018 September

Friday, September 7, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​

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[Sewer Threats] Over the weekend letters were sent out by Julie Choen (who refused to sign it) to all the residents in the lower Keys who have refused to cave in to the threats of serious financial consequential fines and legal actions of the FKAA.

Why the sudden rush to try to intimidate these home owners into giving up their property so that the County can put the “public” sewer on private property and have the home owners pay for electricity to power the public sewer.

Where else in the county do the homeowners have to give up their property rights and provide electricity to  run the public sewers and then pay an additional charge to use the sewer? Not on Grassy Key. No, because Grassy Key is in the city of Marathon where Commissioners Neugent and Rice live. It’s all about the tax money that the voters choose to have used for a complete and fully funded public sewer system. Commissioners Neugent and Rice decided that the money would be better spent on the city of Marathon’s #1 tourist attraction—the old 7 Mile Bridge. And the people of the Lower Keys could just eat it. This is supposed to be a public sewer system. Where is Justice? Perhaps when the judge reaches his decision in the lawsuit we will have justice. Perhaps that’s why Julie Choen wouldn’t sign the letter.

[A Day of Music and Peace] Thanks for your kind words for the Rockin’ Bobs from Wetstock. Just one correction, that was Rita B performing with us and, yes, she knocked it out of the park! Not that all the bands weren’t great. Can’t wait for Wetstock 15. Thank you Flip Flop Bob

I’m a man and was making spaghetti sauce and had just cut up a hot pepper for the sauce when I had the urge to pee. Men beware: wash you hands after cutting hot peppers and before peeing! Ow, oow, ooow!

[Wetstock] The lady who is from M&M that was singing… her name is “Rita” not Cari.
The next meeting of the Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, September 8, 10 am at the senior center.  Hope to see you there. full Menu > Ongoing Events




Barbie at her 45th high school class reunion.

[Help a Puppy] Take a survey to raise $0.50 for a participating charity of your choice. You could even win $100. Link




Burt Reynolds is dead. See you, Smokey! Link

I received one of those threatening letters from FKAA telling me I have 14 days to install a grinder pump. I have been trying to get a grinder pump for 2 years. I’ve done all I could, jumped through all their hoops, yet the threaten me for not having one already installed (I disagree with them, but the alternative they offered is an aerobic system that takes up way too much space). So I have been trying to phone and email them for 4 days with no results. The “computers were down”, “she’s not in her office”, “her secretary is not in her office, “we’ll have her call you”, “we’ll have here email you”, “she doesn’t pick up”, “I can put you through to her voice mail”.
[Debris] Until you’ve cleaned hurricane debris from the water, quit complaining about FEMA not allowing downstairs enclosures. You are more than welcome to join the next clean-up as we top 100 tons of debris removed by volunteers known as the Conch Republic Marine Army. Follow us on Facebook or our website. This photo is from last weekend’s cleanup of near shore. This is not canals–that’s what’s being cleaned by the contractors in the next 200 days. Here’s our barge and plus enough debris to require 2 huge County trucks with clam lifts. Guess where downstairs enclosures went on Big Pine through Summerland? Link
Minor bureaucrats are the bane of civilization.
Play is the highest form of research.  ~Einstein


The new strawless cup.

[“Americans killing kids”] The USA isn’t the only country that kills its children. The German’s did it to their children also. And nobody did anything there either. Video




The happiest boat at Wetstock, by far, had to be this lively craft piloted by some lovely mermaids.

[“Canal cleaning has begun”] I have a house on Big Pine and my canal will be cleaned next year. How wonderful that will be. The completion date for Big Pine is 3/12/2019. Shame on the author (I know who he is) for making it sound like bad news for his canal because he can’t wait like the rest of us.



[Harley Davidson Declining Sales] Apparently the Baby-Boomers all have motorcycles. Generation X is only buying a few, and the next generation isn’t buying any at all. A recent study was done to find out why. The next generation hasn’t even watched “The Wild One”. Link

[Phil Goodman] We have come a long way since I joined the Mosquito Control Board in 2011. At that time, the District was well recognized as being “mosquito out of control” as coined by a county commissioner at that time.  In addition to the Director resigning and the Deputy Director being fired and later serving jail time for improprieties at the District, dengue fever had been transmitting locally in Key West and parts of the Lower Keys for two years.

The District had lost much respect from the community due to all the well publicized internal turmoil and the spreading of mosquito borne diseases in the Keys for the first time in decades.  As a new Commissioner I looked at everything and identified a number of major problems. We started to work right away addressing these many issues and today we are a completely different district.

We are technology driven, results and customer focused, we have restored the trust of the community and we have kept the community safe from mosquito borne diseases. We are also now recognized by the Florida Department of Health and the CDC as one of the very few mosquito control districts in the US fully prepared to meet the challenges of the growing threat of mosquito borne diseases.

The results of our changes speak for themselves.  Nuisance mosquitoes are well under control and we have continued to keep the community safe.  These results have been a real team effort with much of the team and the entire board having been changed since 2010.  ~Phil

Phil Goodman, Mosquito Control Commissioner, District 2

[Black Mold Opportunity] After living in the lower Keys for 30+ years and going through many storms and hurricanes, all of a sudden black mold becomes a major problem. Seems to me it’s a good way to degrade the property value so I can buy out the locals and redevelop everything and make millions!


Here’s Ray West and some unknown island beauty getting his guitar back to the boat after his screaming rock n’ rollin’ set. Eat your heart out, Ted Nugent!

[Rita B] In a Wetstock 14 post the writer spoke of a “Keri from M&M”, her name is Rita B and she rocked!
[“America kills her children everyday”] I never thought of it like that. I guess it’s true. I’ll wager the NRA’s response would be to arm children. Or any other thing than to face the truth and have to do something about this national epidemic of Americans killing her children. We protect dogs more than our children. When’s the last time you heard of somebody shooting a dog? Link




Coyotes in Monroe County?

[Truth] There are three things that cannot be easily hidden… the Sun, the Moon, the Truth.  ~The Buddha
You hit the nerve: Abortion kills kids. People kill, guns don’t. Million or more since Roe vs Wade, and “W” or Obama didn’t care how they got here — row or wade.




How to monetize Wetstock 15. A big thank you, hic, to the ladies handing out those hundreds of Jell-o shots. They worked.

[Friday Joke] Nike is coming out with new product. The Air Kapernick knee pad




I think I’ll remember Wetstock for the shark kite flying all day. Very good.

[200 Speared Lobsters] A Marathon man, Escalante Carrillo, 25, is facing more than 300 conservation violations after police say they found almost 200 wrung lobster tails in the trunk of his car and 150 of them were undersized. Link
Ladies & Gentlemen, Boys & Girls, Children of all ages, it is my turn to give thanks to all that make Wetstock possible. Thanks to John North who has provided the sound equipment, major pa, generator, and boat for staging. He also does sound, something I’m not good at. John is ‘instrumental’ in making a good Wetstock. Thank you John.

Bob Paul helped me pull off the very first one years ago and has been there every since. Thank you Bob.

Bobby Howard has provided his boat for the pa and staging for a few years. Thank you Bobby.

Jerry has helped many years with support on the water. Thank you Jerry

Then there is Deer ole Ed. He has been there since the beginning. The logo he made is great! Thank you Editor.

Steve Estes and the Barometer have been there since the beginning. Thank you Steve

As of late there have been others who have been helping with loading, setting up, breaking down, and unloading back at the dock. That’s the part very few see, the hardest part. Thank you Tony and the others over the past few years for your help.

Then there are the bands. These guys and ladies go to great lengths to get boat rides out, get their gear and expensive instruments in weather and environment non-conducive to electronics. Bobby Howard, Bob Paul, Randy, John North, Ray West, are just a few that have been doing it for years. Thank you and all the other musicians, too many to name, but we all know who you are, for helping me make it happen!

Of course the people that come. Without you, there is no Wetstock. Thank YOU for thanking me! I know there are some I have forgotten, please forgive me. See you next year for Wetstock 15
Your Friend,
Flip Flop Bob

America kills children everyday” you write. America is short for the United States Of America; recognized as an entity, a country, a government, a group of states and so forth. No, capital punishment is not generally carried out on children in America. American citizens kill each other and them selves with firearms yes and this is sad. Killing children with firearms is murder and it is already illegal. You advocate murder. There are approximately 4.5 million members of the NRA. You write: ‘shoot the NRA’. This is advocating murder, and by implication, ironically, with a firearm!  Yes, in your post you implored someone to shoot 4.5 million Americans. And, also ironically in reference to your post, what is needed is more NRA involvement with children as they are the standard in firearm training and safety. The truth does hurt.



Monarch butterfly-killing invasive plant found in northern Michigan. The black swallow-wort was recently spotted in the Grand Traverse County community of Kingsley. I hope this plant does not spread nationwide. Link

[“Affordable mansion mandate from the State”] It is time to rationalize the real reasons this State mandate is being pushed on us. It’s to allow the destruction of the Florida Keys. It is all about pushing out the locals, replacing them with lower rent “barely affordable” housing and then driving those same people out with high taxes, high utility bills, food prices, and other costly endeavors to get the land for the rich and infamous. The Keys are the last refuge for the yacht crowd. When the deep water dredging starts you will know I am right.
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as “hillbillies. You must now refer to them as Appalachian-Americans. And furthermore, this is how to speak about women and be politically correct: She is not a “babe” or a “chick” she is a “breasted American.” She is not a “screamer” or a “moaner” she’s “vocally appreciative.” More


Why would you smugly assume the Irma party should be on September 6? The hurricane made land fall and did all her damage on Sunday, September 10, 2017 at 9:10 am EDT.

[Watered Booze] I was going to make a list of all the bars in the Keys that water their booze, but figured out it was a hell of a shorter list if I just listed the ones that don’t!
[“Exposure to violence and a child’s developing brain”] If you cannot raise a kid in a normal, stable environment to be a useful human being, don’t have one! The most popular reason kids are born today is the woman needs a meal ticket. Just look around in any public area to see the overweight and shoddy are the only ones with kids. This is destroying this planet.

[Winn Dixie] Weekly ad. Link

We traveled most of this world and found most places are so overpopulated and over developed they are not worth going to for a vacation or adventure. Too many people and too many greedy developers trying to turn everywhere into a profit-making tourist enterprise without caring about the beauty and originality that nature created.

The Florida Keys are such a place and probably one of the very few locations left to see a tropical paradise. It is nobody’s fault that these real paradises are disappearing except for the locals who could care less about saving their God given home.

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