2014 July

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

“Actually…” Malcolm Clayton Ross ‘Moved on’ the first day of summer, Saturday June 21st. Born 1934 in upstate New York, Malcolm journeyed to the Keys in the early 70’s where he found his second home. All those who have shared the full sung verses of “Chiquita Banana.” All who have been privileged to share Malcolm’s passion for the arts, his teachings and techniques of creativity and expression plus his unending love of nature will truly miss his mischievous intellect, whimsical soul & kindness.A special tribute will be the focus at Artist in Paradise Gallery in Big Pine Key during the month of September. A celebration of his life as a WWII US German interpreter, graduate of Pratt & Columbia Universities, oldest member of Key West Art Center; art professor at FKCC and dedicated teacher will be held at this time. His Key deer family in his beloved Refuge home are truly missing him, too!
[News Flash] Former New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin was sentenced at 11am this morning to two years in jail for corruption and accepting thousands of dollars in bribes!
[Bring Back Translator] If we start proceedings now to reinstall the translator tower do you think we could get it up before we get sewers? I’m in my 80’s now and would like to flush and watch TV before I go
Anti-Cuba propaganda plane
, Aero Marti, downed for good. U.S. taxpayer’s paid approximately $35.6 million over past 7 years to support it. Other ‘ineffective’ programs aimed at destabilizing the Cuban government continue in order to appease Miami Cubans. Link
[Translator] From what I remember, the TV Translator system worked up until hurricane Georges came through the Keys and took the system out. It was never repaired or replaced. Possibly another pay source of television did not want the competition of free TV. Back then all signals where analog, but since 2009 all over the air TV is digital. When watching digital you either get a perfect picture or no picture, depending on reception. No such thing as improving a snowy screen with foil on the rabbit ears with digital. I have been to friends’ homes on the mainland and some of them can get up to 12 channels in HD for free with an outdoor antenna.That being said, does anyone know if it is possible to have a Translator system again? Who would we contact if we wanted to try to get a petition started to get it back? I too hate paying when all I watch is some network news at night. Most of the TV viewing at my house is watching movies on Netflix, Amazon Prime or Hulu over the internet, using our Roku box from RadioShack. Perfect picture all the time–and in high definition!
[Immigration] We allow Cubans who come here to make money a path to citizenship and provide them with everything they need to get started, but helpless children escaping from violence in Central America are refused and sent back. When will we have a border wall or immigration reform?
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[Mankini] You’ve heard of bikini’s. How about  Mankini’s? Link
Water war over pot? Interesting facts about the control of the Nation’s water. Link
[Free TV] The Keys can get TV, premium movies, porn, anything you want, the old fashioned approved Keys way. All you need is internet connected PC hooked to TV, a wireless keyboard with touchpad, and pirate your heart out! is one free site. God, not paying both babble and cable is awesome. You get all the channels with no commercials. Remember pirate sites attract real pirates not funny dressed goofy looking fools. Keep your virus gear and spyware up to date! (Ed: These types of sites are notorious sites for malware and very dangerous. It’s advisable to use an old computer or laptop for this streaming, so if it gets infected you don’t lose much, just reinstall the operating system. The poster is correct–beware!)
[Armor All] Due to all the posts I’ve been reading lately about tailgaters and bad drivers on the C.T., I decided that this will be the safest and best way to ride my motorcycle from now on.
[“Translator towers“] I remember being able to get good reception of a useful mix of channels over-the-air via the translators. I also remember the circumstances of their demise. There was a ballot issue placed before the populace as whether to continue funding the translators ($1 per year for residence) or to sell the towers to non-TV commercial interests. The referendum was placed on the ballot during a primary election. Trouble was, there was no primary contest that year for the Democrats, only the Republicans. Guess who didn’t care about receiving over-the-air TV and voted to sell off the towers.
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A good tailgating bumper sticker.
I’ve found to stop tailgaters in the daytime increase your speed gradually, then turn your headlights on for a second. The tailgater usually thinks it’s your brake lights and slams on his breaks.
[First Amendment Rights] A modern surveillance state isn’t so much being forced on us, as it is sold to us device by device, with the idea that it is for our benefit.
[Big Rats] I watched a show on Animal Planet about nutria, those large rodents overrunning Louisiana bayous. They burrow into sides of sea walls causing collapse or worse if they get under house foundations. They don’t make for the sitting duck targets that iguana do, as they have to be trapped to be caught. Any guesses on how long it’ll take for those destructive giant rodents to get established in the Keys?
I’m sure it’s the fence around the White House that stops intruders–not all the other security measures.
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oleander caterpillar9About 10 days ago I came into contact with an Oleander Caterpillar when I put the palm of my hand on one that was on the hand rail of my steps.  Within 15 minutes I developed a rash at the site of contact and then began to experience intense itching.  I tolerated it for a full day and then went to CVS and bought some Benadryl and double-dosed it.  Within an hour the symptoms began to fade and within 4 hours the itching stopped and the rash went away the next day.  Has anyone else experienced these symptoms after contact with one of these nasty little buggars?
 [Lost Cat] Sorry to say it, but Munchie is probably out there somewhere baking in a Fish & Wildlife cat trap.
[Killer Cat] My rotten indoor cat can only go out to the porch. After all these years she finally caught a Cardinal and killed it. She brought it back through the cat door, dropped it on the living room floor and sat and watched it until I discovered it and threw it out. Bad cat!Imagine the killing she would have done if allowed in the real outdoors.
[Blondes] Fox News “diversity”. Some have long hair, some short. And all look very Aryan.
Republicans are mad the President is not going to the border for a photo opportunity during his trip to Texas instead of talking to lawmakers about immigration and protecting our border as planned. On the other hand if the President did go to the border for a photo opportunity those same Republicans (FTR, are you reading this?) would be criticizing him for photo ops instead of working with lawmakers. What could the President possibly accomplish by stand on the border?
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support[Vista OS Support] Microsoft has changed its support lifecycle so that consumer and business versions have the same extended support options. The dates for business editions are the same as for consumer editions.. Vista support was previously scheduled to expire on April 2012 now it’s end will be April 2017.
Progress sucks. It sucks the money out of your wallet, and that is what it is designed for!
[FDA] Food and Drug Administration site map. Link
chainsaw kitty
[Business Directory]
I looked for someone to sharpen my chainsaw chains and found Lawnmowerman in your Business Directory. I’m writing to say I’m glad I found him because he did the best job of sharpening them that I’ve ever had. My saw almost glides through those pesky buttonwood trunks hat are choking my property.
[Used Life Jackets] The Big Pine Coast Guard Auxiliary is repurposing used life jackets.  If you have life jackets that your children or grandchildren have outgrown and are willing to donate them, the BPK Coast Guard Auxiliary will inspect them for serviceable use and then give them out free to children who may not have one or may not have a proper fitting life jacket.You can find us at our mobile communications trailer at Venture Out on Cudjoe Key on Saturday July 26th from 3-5 pm and on Sunday July 27th at the Big Pine Fishing Lodge from 4-6pm.  Then on Tuesday, July 29th from 9am until 1pm, we’ll be at the Bahia Honda Lobster Mini-Season Event.  Or you can call 305-744-3774 for more information or to arrange pickup. Events
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I see the Amish are heading for the Keys, adding to the traffic woes.
Bring back the translator! Rid the Keys of Comcast, those ungrateful bastards.
I was in Key West the day that Pritam Singh got married at his ‘Truman’ Annex. Harry was whirling in his grave!
[A-rod’s Steroids] A new book proves the NBA gave A-Rod permission to use steroids. Oh, oh!
[“Tailgating”] Saw a great tailgating bumper sticker here in the upstate of SC the other day: “The Closer You Get, The Slower I Go.”
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brazil flag[Brazil’s greatest loss in history] I surely would not want to be one of the losing Brazilian Soccer Team’s members in Brazil today. Those people are not the most emotionally balanced fan groups out there. No one ever told them it was only a game. I would fear for my life. I wonder if they threw the game. There aren’t many other options for them to lose by such a wide margin.
Found dog. Male neutered mixed breed Chihuahua. No microchip. Found on Summerland Key. Call Shark Classified Ads > Lost and Found
Hoes anyone know what the legal pot stores in Colorado and Washington charge for an ounce?
apple rocks l to r
[“Big risk needs big profit”]
No it doesn’t. It needs a fare price for a fare valued product made by people who care about others, not all about their wallets. The pirate buys an apple for 10 cents and sells it to the starving person for all the money he has. You call that fare? I call it theft! When a hamburger costs over $3 with fixings, I quit buying from restaurants. How about you?
[“Drivers tailgating”] Solution 1. SUV. 2. Bully step-bumper/trailer hitch. 3. If the guy tailgating is of equal or larger tonnage, then pull over and let them pass, it’s likely someone not familiar yet with the longer distance required to stop larger vehicles. It seems to me that about 95% of tailgaters are those in small cars with high revving engines and quick acceleration. It’s the design of these vehicles that is the problem.I’ve test driven a few myself and also had a 450 2-stroke racing bike (street legal) when I was young that almost took my life on several occasions. The need for speed just takes over many people’s personality. On the other hand a SUV typically has a 5-star accident rating. It’s slow to accelerate and unfortunately slow to stop as well, so one tends to want to cruise/coast more and speed/pass less. With a SUV, arriving alive (and usually in comfort) is the objective, they usually come with kick butt A/C as well, which keeps one cool when the race car drivers are out and about. And when one does rear end you, it feels like someone just tapped your bumper, when you look, though, theirs is completely totaled you don’t have hardly a scratch. Well worth the 16-20 mpg hwy for the safety factor and the sick look on their faces.
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says they want to wipe Israel off the map and continues to fire missiles daily into Israel, yet they cry victim when Israel retaliates!
There are plenty of highly educated whackos. If you don’t believe me, visit a University Faculty Club some time.
[Citizen of the Day Says] Bringing happiness to everyone I meet is the most important thing in my life.
carnival9Can you imagine what the National Parks and beautiful views would look like if the same people controlled them as does the Monroe County junta? Remember the movie Jaws and it’s tourist town, it’s mayor, it’s greedy sheep? It’s the same in the Keys. Lazy, good for nothings, pushing the carnival gipsy life style always go this route. Huckster the wide-eyed tourist out of easy money. This is what is killing the Keys and Florida! Trash begets trash!
[Hate] David Duke went on to run for governor. He bought or sold, I forget, a list of donors from Mike Foster’s campaign. He did not report the (guess he sold his list) income on the transaction and was charged and convicted of tax evasion. He did a small time in prison, was released and went on a multi country speaking tour. He often rallies behind Palestine against Jewish oppression. He is a big immigration advocate as long as they are Eastern European white immigrants. He has several dozen books and audios available. David Duke, about now, would really be a good President. I would gladly work for his election again! He could guarantee a bunch of freeloading Federal jobs like TSA would suddenly be open and our southern border closed to third world invaders. He’s still active. Link
[Elian Gonzalez] Remember when Democrats thought it was important to return Hispanic children to their parents?
 US1 Radio with Bill Becker is at it again. On Wed, Bill featured a lady from Greenpeace with the dubious study of sea level rising and the consequences both physical and financial on seafront communities. Such alarmist prognostications that certainly aren’t based on solid science but rather left wing political ploys. They end up raising the cost of living in the Keys via higher taxes and incessant studies. It’s a good way to chase the less well heeled among us from the Keys. That’s for sure. As for what good they do to the environment, that’s another matter. It’ll be hard to de-fund the already approved county study that immerses us in more useless spending. Thank Monroe county commissioners for yet another boondoggle.
 e-FTR on bankrupt cities
It’s nice to know no Republicans were involved thru the years in helping make this happen!?!? Those Dems are sure some busy SOB’s! No Republicans lined their pockets or were injured in the bankruptcy of these cities! I shall sleep well tonight knowing this.
from the right
graduation hatsWhat about Governor Scotts record on education?  Governor Scott cut college tuition and placed limits on how much it might grow in the future. Under Crist the cost of prepaid college tuition went through the roof. Gov. Rick Scott cut the cost of prepaid college tuition by nearly $20,000. Check it out on Politifact Link He convinced Florida’s state colleges and universities to offer a baccalaureate degree for $10k. That is phenomenal. He got raises for teachers.

The first bill Scott signed into law was a performance pay plan similar to the one Crist vetoed in 2010.  Governor Scott made sure that Florida teachers got richly deserved raises. Scott also promoted the most recent education budget as the largest in state history. All that while paying down the debt that Crist caused, and cutting the taxes and fees that Crist raised. In this Olde Fart’s opinion, that pretty damned good work.



Part 2) January Statistics On Airport Screening From The Department Of Homeland Security
Terrorists 0
Transvestites 133
Hernias 1485
Hemorrhoid Cases 3172
Enlarged Prostates 8249
Breast Implants 59,350
Natural Blondes 3

It was also discovered that 535 Congressional Representatives had no balls. (thanx JAL)