2014 June

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

big show3Thank you CT fans for your fireworks suggestion, the handful of people that help put this event together work very hard to make sure everything goes well, the last thing in our minds is to rush the fireworks.The annual Independence Day celebration for the lower keys will be held this year at the Big Pine Park. This will be the second year, after a successful event last year and over 3000 in attendance. The show will be in the open field facing the water. The event starts at 5 pm and the fireworks are scheduled to go off after dark at about 9:15 or 9:20. This event is sponsored by Big Pine and Lower Keys Rotary Club and the Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce with assistance from the Big Pine Volunteer Fire Dept. Several vendors will be offering, food, soft drinks, water, beer, wine and rum punch. Event organizers apologize in advance to the residents of the Avenues subdivision, because the crowd is expected to pretty much take over the streets there for parking. Officials at the Vineyard Christian Church have opened up their parking lot to the festivities, as have most of the businesses along Avenue A. Organizers also ask that no personal fireworks, coolers, or pets be brought to the event for safety reasons. Monies raised by the event will be used to fund future Independence Day celebrations. The Rotary Club wishes to thank Monroe County for allowing the use of the park for this event. Volunteers are always welcomed and can contact me at 305-872-1111.  ~Danny Coll, Event coordinator
[“HOGie History”] A long time ago in the South Philadelphia area there was a deli on Hog Island that used a loaf of Italian bread for making a sandwich. Many local workers in the area went there to get these sandwiches for lunch. The term HOGIE started from that place by folks asking others to bring them a sandwich from there. It was local slang to use the term “HOGIE” (HOGie). Later the “a” just found its way into the term.


[“Big testosterone drive, mano mano”] What does hand hand mean? I assume you were trying to say mano-a-mano which means hand-to-hand. Either way it makes no sense. Try consulting Google or better yet your local landscaper next time you feel the need to embellish your posts with foreign phrases.  (Ed: That’s what I thought, but I’m trying not to edit everything I don’t understand because I get yelled at all the time.)

The mayor wants to bring back Jim Scholl? Is he nuts? Scholl is the one who lied to the commission about the urgency of dredging our channel for huge cruise ships. Let City Attorney Shawn Smith take over the job; he’s the most qualified. Scholl was also instrumental in hiding the sale of Peary Court which was initiated on his watch, so the tax office never knew about it. He was told that it would be unethical to say anything. Funny ethics don’t you think?
[Hit and Swim] David Eanes, 53, of Big Pine Key drove his 18-foot center console into an anchored sailboat in Newfound Harbor Channel at 2:30 am Tuesday morning and then fled the scene by swimming away. The 18-footer hit the portside of the 30-foot sailboat. Eans was found at his home and no arrests have been made while the FWC is investigating.
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link25Deer Ed, why is there no easy way to get back to yesterday’s posts? Please post a link; “archives” doesn’t seem to be the solution. I missed yesterday’s posts and there seems to be no way today to see what I missed. No one will wait a year to read what was posted yesterday. (Ed: There is a link at the very bottom that will take you away to the past. Please let me know if it doesn’t show up in your browser. I had links at the top, but it looked cluttered so I removed them.)
[“IRS missing emails”] The IRS is still using the Windows XP operating system. Microsoft doesn’t even support this obsolete and insecure OS. No wonder emails are missing when it crashed!
Autopsy Report: Charles Eimers’ death in Key West was an accident caused by his already damaged heart giving out during a struggle with police. A grand jury will meet in July to determine if there is a criminal case against the KW Police Dept.
wood chipper fargo276h


Authorities have identified a land­scaper who was killed by an industrial wood chipper in Davie. South Florida.  They had a hard time identifying him because he ended up all over the mulch pile.

[Guided Nature Walks for the Whole Family at National Key Deer Refuge] Throughout the months of July and August, the education and outreach staff at the National Key Deer Refuge (NKDR) would like to invite visiting and local families to join us on 6 different evening nature walks. This series includes free, kid-friendly (for all ages!), nature-oriented guided walks at various locations around NKDR. We will be meeting at the Refuge Visitor Center, (in Winn Dixie Plaza, on Big Pine Key) Wednesday evenings at 6:30 pm and will run each program until approximately 8:30 pm. Attendees are encouraged to wear sturdy footwear, wear bug spray, and to bring a camera or binoculars. Pre-registration is required for these programs. For details, or to preregister, contact Kristie Killam at 305-304-9625 or email at Events schedule: · July 2- Sea creatures, seabeans, stinky seaweed and shorebirds. Long Beach, Big Pine Key · July 9- Freshwater wetlands on Big Pine: Attendees will be listening for frogs and using dip nets to catch aquatic wildlife. · July 16- Photo Safari! Must bring your own digital camera. We will learn basic photography skills at the Blue Hole, and end the evening back at the visitor center. Each child may print one picture each to take home! · July 23- Seining at the boat launch: join NKDR staff as they seine the water at the boat launch, and see what critters are hanging out there! Big Pine Key · August 6- Who/What/Where/Why are White-crowned pigeons here? Join NKDR Staff as they explore the lives of the elusive WCP. Trip to No Name Key · August 13- A Final Photo Safari! Must bring your own digital camera. Join NDKR staff for an exploration of freshwater wetland and pine rockland habitats that make great photo ops. Events
[“Bowe Bergdahl hung out with fecund chicks”] How does the poster know the “chicks” were fertile (which is the meaning of fecund)?


[Like a Rolling Stone] Bob Dylan’s draft of the lyrics sold for two million at auction yesterday. Link

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Happy Wednesday from Springer’s Bar and Grill. We have an awesome comfort food special for you today, shrimp and grits. Shrimp cooked to perfection over creamy grits. Join us for this real down home southern treat. Specials: Thursday: chicken salad on a kaiser Friday: Parmesan encrusted mahi with a tomato basil cream sauce. Happy Hour 2-7 daily with great drink specials and happy hour menu. There’s Always Something Special at Springer’s!

[Grammar Nazis] “Pilkunnussija” is a Finnish word for people who have a tendency to point out any and all spelling or grammatical mistakes. The word comes from “piikku”, meaning “comma”, and “nussla”, meaning “to f**k” So literally translated into English it is “comma f**ker”.
FTR, hurry, hurry back!. How are we ever to get along without you?


HD-60? Seems legit.

Chronic remorse, as all the moralists are agreed, is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.   ~Aldous Huxley

Detroit vs the Keys.

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2005 Saab 9-3 Turbo Linear convertible, 78,000 miles, new tires, new brakes, repair to top sensor on 6th bow needed, part cost $40,  runs great, but needs CD and cruise control love, $6,500 obo, wk 9-5: 305-293-5715, cell 305-942-9527 Ramrod Key     6/25/14 Classified Ads > Auto

[“Eleanor McAdams”] How do we reach her? How do we help get her into George Nugent’s office?
[Bedbug Prevention] Do this before they strike. Encase your box springs and mattresses in bed bug bags sealed shut. Use a washable mattress topper on top of the plastic for comfort. If possible, use extra plastic sealed box springs to raise the mattress higher so the bedding has less chance to hit the floor accidentally during the night. Make a table-like cloth for the box spring out of 3.5 mil plastic sheeting that is only 2 inches from the floor all around. Do not let any fabric skirts touch the floor. Pull the bed away from walls and any object they can get onto the bed by. Use wide, very smooth clear packing tape around the bottom of all the legs of all furniture including the bed. Wash all clothes and bedding on high dry at 120 degrees F to kill any lurkers and eggs, then place in vertically smooth (they can’t climb) clear plastic tubs and cover. Do not use the floor except for walking, rest feet on secured ottomans or spare chairs or they will climb your legs. Treat the couch as a box spring and wrap in air tight plastic, then return the cleaned/washed cushions. Do not place non cleaned items on secured items, especially beds. Take a shower before bed and either sleep nude or use clothes from a clean plastic bin. Do not lay on bed in dirty clothes or place any item on the bed, chairs or couches that was on the floor or not from a secure place. Most people do not get a reaction from a bed bug bite, therefore they can breed uncontrollably for quite some time unawares. If you see one bedbug, you likely got a hundred already, they are very sneaky like a combination of a mosquitoes and a cockroach but a lot worst as they are hard to kill. If you modify your behavior slightly and be preventative, then if they do arrive (and they will) then they will have a hard time multiplying. Spread CimeXa insecticidal dust around and that assists in drying them out to kill them and lasts 10 years unless it gets oil/grease on it. It’s a specially engineered silica sand drying agent product, not a harmful poison. Avoid!  DE[?] is not as effective and bedbug sprays only chase them into the rest of the house and up walls to drop off ceilings. Otherwise they won’t use the walls or ceilings. Link


My guardian Angles are Obtuse and Acute. (eat you heart out, Sloan!)

From the album “Post Productions Perform A Tribute To Bob DylanPositively 4th Street
[Eimers] They should bring in outside (outside Monroe County) investigators to look at the Eimers case. Ten broken ribs and a near cremation before the autopsy. Something is wrong and a mangled man is dead.
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[Book Review] Set in Perth, Australia, inspired by the massive tasering for sport of a schizophrenic homeless Aborigine by Aussie police officers, and by a brave and outraged Aussie lassie jumping whole hog into her ’tis of thee’s national politics over that, and over the general plight of homeless men and women down under, and by the author’s own personal experiences, which she asked me to keep between her and me, which inspired her to novelize all of the aforementioned: Salvation Jane is a topsy-turvy twisting-and-turning emotional tilt-a-whirl volcanic tsunami. Maddening, uplifting, maddening, uplifting. Featuring two saints, one dearly-departed, the other his left-behind common law, but for whom the silver linings would have been harder to swallow. The self-centered child in woman body heroine made me want to wring her neck bunches of times, but it was fun watching her grow beyond herself, albeit not without heaps of snatchings of defeats out of the jaws of victories along the way. The homeless people, mostly men, are the adorables in their own special flairs of the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. The career politicians are suitably despicable soulless creatures unaware they are not really human. Every career politician should have to read Salvation Jane. Ditto, every person inclined to use the Nazi solution on homeless people. Everyone else should read it, too.

[Autopsy: Eimers died accidentally from hart failure] Meaning, it was all his fault his heart stopped beating after hypoxia (lack of oxygen) set in, as, face down on the sand, he struggled mightily to escape and run away, after he had, docile as a lamb, surrendered and lay face down on the beach. Did I miss something? Yeah, he caused his heart to stop beating by giving the cops the impression he was homeless. I wonder how the Medical Examiner would have fared, if he were to have switched places with Eimers and the cops had thought he, the Medical Examiner, was homeless?
[Hollow Earth Society] We know the earth is round, but is it hollow? Link


[Shame] Candidate Anthony Ross Jr withdraws from race after questions arise about raunchy talk show appearance. Link

[USA Torture] Activists sue CIA over spying on classified report on covert torture program. Link
Maybe the disgruntled visitor headed back to the glorious Detroit area can stop by New Jersey to get a sub at Mike’s. I’m sure there’s not too much traffic in the way going to Detroit either. Sorry it didn’t work out for them, but I’m glad they’re gone as it sounds best for all (we still have a few disgruntled/grumpy folks in the Keys anyway). As far as we go – life is good in the Florida Keys! Give me a Murray’s sub sitting by the pool or on the boat with a bent rod any day!
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It’s sad that younger generations will never make typewriter sound effects while eating summer corn.

It is Wednesday, the moon stands in the zodiac sign Gemini and waning (4th quarter). Here are some influencing powers of the day. The element is air, part of plant: blossom, body zone: lung, hands, arms, shoulder, color: yellow, complementary color: red/blue.
Which beer represents you down to your very core? Test
stonehenge rays

Hey, I missed the Summer solstice the other day. Did it still happen? Link

Should I get a Shingles shot? It costs $250 plus the doctor’s visit. I have Medicare, but no supplement.
Harvesting bananas in Costa Rica. Video

Why is the blimp site always looking for a guard? I would think it would be the perfect job for a sedentary type person. They have good benefits, it’s a beautiful place on the water and it’s a slack job with no work to do. You’ll never come home tired.

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Battle of Little Bighorn, happened on this date in 1876. The winner was Sitting Bull who was killed in 1890 during an attempt to arrest him by Indian Agency police. His death ignited the disturbance and subsequent massacre of Sioux at Wounded Knee, South Dakota. (Custer’s last words were, “Did you ever see so many f**king Indians!”) Link

Detroit made the Keys possible.[?]
People, the “Detroit  better than the Keys” poster is a troll, trying to get a rise out of you all for fun. It is satire, and he/she has been successful. This CT site is really weird. But entertaining for sure. And sadly enlightening.
CheapShots low cost veterinary service will be in the Keys this weekend, serving from Key West to Islamorada. We will be at the Big Pine Dog Park on Sat 11-12 and in Marathon all day Fri and Key West all day on Monday doing dentals, cat neuters etc. Call 305-390-0325 or go to for further info and schedules.
from the right
(Ed: FTR will be out of the office for a couple of days.)