2013 May Uncategorized

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

The Coconut Telegraph

Anonyomous letters to the editor with pictures

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an_tornado_cartmanI was born in Oklahoma City and have witnessed many tornadoes. I was there 2 years ago to visit my family when an outbreak of storms hit. It is instant, not like us down here in the Keys having a warning for hurricanes. When they tell you to “Go underground” it is like us getting a category 5 hurricane warning, but with only about 5 min to act. I have endured both kinds of storms and will take a hurricane over a tornado. That doesn’t mean I like hurricanes, it just means that we have a better chance of surviving because of the advance notice of an approaching storm. It brings tears to my eyes to watch the news reports in OK, it looks like what Andrew did to Homestead.


[“Why do I see so many flats boats at the bridges during tarpon season”] That’s where the tarpon are. You’re not going to catch them off the reef.

an_windmill[“Why aren’t both wind turbines spinning?”] I asked the Keys Energy guy about them, told him the lower one is not going to spin as often as it’s not high enough about the tree/roof line. He said I was absolutely correct and that the manufacturer of the turbine recommends 20 feet about the tree line, but the county permit would only allow one at that height.

I asked if they were putting them there to generate emergency power during a hurricane, he said no, and mentioned the blades would have to come off before one hit as they are not rated for that level of wind velocity.

He mentioned it was planned to have a web site at Key Energy where people can monitor the results of the power generated.

I mentioned I read a recently released Dutch study stating that small wind turbines are not cost efficient, that only larger ones generate a net gain in energy for what’s put into it and to maintain it. He said we have to start somewhere.

I think having large wind turbines strung down offshore the Keys would be awesome and majestic looking, and make good fish hangouts.

I think the hardest part, provided there is indeed enough wind, is gaining public support for a larger project. For the public to accept huge slowly turning wind turbines with their gorgeous views of sunset. But they have to be big to be cost effective. Link 

Local group to march against Monsanto. Link


[First visit to Big Pine Key]  I will be staying at Breezy Palms RV Resort. How close is the grocery store and drug store?  Are the beaches accessible for swimming?

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Green Sea Turtle swims underwater for first time in 11 years. Link

VampirePowerVampire devices are electronic devices that still draw power even when the device appears to be off. In some cases the the draw is quite small as is the case with an electronic transformer which carries a steady 1 watt load when the device attached to it is turned off. In other cases the draw can be surprisingly high, as is the case with many cable boxes and other media peripherals that consume a significant amount of power when they are powered off (as they do a variety of tasks behind the scenes such as updating programming schedules, recording and downloading content, etc.)

As a result of increasing awareness about vampire devices and vampire power loads, many consumers have begun putting non-essential electronics on power strips that can be turned off when the device is not in use. Going on vacation?,  turn off all circuit breakers not needed. The water street valve too, if easily accessible. A penny saved is a happy hour libation earned!

Fanci Seafood will be closed on Sundays until August. Everyone have a great summer!


[“I need to talk to you”] That is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you’ve ever done.

an_osprey fish


I saw the ad for free koi fish yesterday and wondered how you protect koi from the herons and osprey? I can’t even keep a damn frog in my ponds without one of those fowl scooping it up. Classified Ads > Free

Big Pine Key. Big yard sale this Saturday, May 25th. Opens 8AM. Nice stuff! Classified Ads > Yard Sale



[Roach] Holy Havana! I had one of these on the stove top this morning and thought I was losing my color perception. I tried to capture it without success and now I Google it to find it is called a Cuban Cockroach. Who knew?

Kudos to Captain Doom n Gloom – I think he’s funny!  Why is he at the bottom, Deer Ed?  You no likey him?




A rarely seen form of lightning confirmed only about 25 years ago: a red sprite. Recent research has shown that following a powerful positive cloud-to-ground lightning strike, red sprites may start as 100-meter balls of ionized air that shoot down from about 80-km high at 10 percent the speed of light and are quickly followed by a group of upward streaking ionized balls. The above image, taken a few days ago above central South Dakota, USA, captured a bright red sprite, and is a candidate for the first color image ever recorded of a sprite and aurora together. Distant storm clouds cross the bottom of the image, while streaks of colorful aurora are visible in the background. Red sprites take only a fraction of a second to occur and are best seen when powerful thunderstorms are visible from the side.

[Umbrella Man] I was in the US military and I would be delighted to hold an umbrella over the President or any other official.  It sure would beat the usual, endless, mind numbing boredom of being in the Infantry that is the heart, soul and backbone of our armed forces.



I don’t care how long you sit on them, Fluffy, they’re not going to hatch.

In 1807, former vice president Aaron Burr was indicted for treason. Aaron Burr was arrested in Alabama on charges of plotting to annex Spanish territory in Louisiana and Mexico to be used toward the establishment of an independent republic. Link

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Coolest wheelchair ever.

[Flats fishing/offshore] I have a lady next door who is a flat fishing fanatic and she’s the perfect bitch. She wrote the book on how to be a bitch, believe me. And I’ve had my lines cut offshore by boats coming so close when there wasn’t another one on the horizon. Anyone fishing has. Where’s the moron line there? Make it legal to sink boats who do this crap and the crap stops. It isn’t flats vs offshore, it’s jerks on both sides.


Marathon City latches onto zipline. Link

mountain horse00


Cuba’s Secret Side is a journey into the soul of Cuba. For three months, adventure filmmaker and author Karin Muller hitchhiked around Cuba – living with fisherman and farmers, Santeria priestess and country doctors. She was arrested over a dozen times, but in the end she managed to get beyond the propaganda and rhetoric to capture the true character of the Cuban people. Cuba’s Secret Side is an entertaining, insightful, and often humorous look at a side of Cuba that few foreigners get to see. Link

[Construction or Not] I am not sure what is going on with the construction, or should I say “destruction” of North Roosevelt Blvd.  I drive down it quite often since the project started.  In the beginning I would see a couple of guys standing around looking at all the damage that has been done.  For the last six months I have not seen a soul there, not even someone standing around holding up a shovel.  Since I do not drive that area at night I figured that must be when all the destruction is taking place.  And they are probably trying to do something without turning any lights on.



Delicious Smoked Kingfish is out in the case this morning at Fanci Seafood. So good and tender you can eat it with a fork!

[Construction or Not] If the company doing the sewers in Cudjoe were doing the North Roosevelt project it would be done already.  These guys are fast and efficient, and work 12 hrs a day.  You can tell they’re not union.



[OK Tornado] It was a big one, but nowhere did it say it was the biggest ever. It’s a mind-set: “if it happened in my lifetime it must be the biggest”.

How nuts are some of the posters on the CoCo Tele? Championing feral invasives like cats, iguanas, & peacocks will doom our Keys to a non-unique, non-native environment. Sad, but I am glad that I won’t be around to see what devastation the invasives will do. Don’t even get me started about Brazilian pepper, lead tree, & Australian pines.

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The other end goes in first, stupid! 

Greed, crime, and murder for hire in the Keys. Link 

[Crocodiles] Someone on Monday posted that Crocodiles are not endangered any more.  You only got part of it.  In 2007 they were delisted from “endangered” to “threatened” species, which still carries the same amount of protection as being endangered.  I guess you were defending that someone shot the crocodile in the upper Keys, because it “might have been a threat to our pets and children”, and that a father is entitled to protect his child.  What rubbish.  

A father should definitely protect his children, but he can do this by teaching them to be cautious of such wildlife and keep them out of harms way. Don’t feed wild critters!



[Amusements] I hope that Crane Point will include a Burma Bridge and a Pirate Bridge. Once we went to Dagaz Acres in Indiana and had one of the best times ever on those 2 Bridges. It’s lots of natural fun that challenges people and, here in the Keys, gets you off the bar stools.

[Sharks] Infographic shows that sharks don’t kill you, you kill sharks. Link

pig out an



Springers is having their first annual Memorial Day Pig Roast starting at 3 pm Monday May 27.  Live entertainment by Dawn & Tim from 7 pm – 10 pm  with a special appearance by Charley Possum. Bulletin Board

[“Quit subsidizing failed solar/wind energy”] The fossil fuel “battery” we have pulled ourselves up a species consists of concentrated solar energy in the form of eon’s of decayed plant and animal life, it won’t last forever.

Nearly all energy comes from the gas stations of the universe, the stars. Solving it’s inexpensive capture, storage, transportation and use of concentrated solar energy should be our highest priority if we are going to venture out into the universe beyond and survive.

Staying here on Earth and we are just as doomed as the dinosaurs were. Hear about those large rocks flying past in space? It only takes one big one.

[North Roosevelt Blvd] These projects cost so much and take so long because they probably are getting paid even when no work is being done. Something is very fishy with that project. 

[Looters] I’m confused, where are all the looters after the storm in Oklahoma?

bill bent an



Black swan feeding Koi fish. Interesting animal behavior.  They’re not greedy.  They’ll share. Video

[Construction or Not] I was just in Key West at 9:30AM Monday and did not see one construction worker fixing N. Roosevelt. Having to drive a big circle around Key West and having to plan your errands around the detour really sucks. I wonder how many businesses are being affected by the lack of construction being done. If two of us notice, clearly hundreds more do and quite frankly something needs to be done.  

Fantasy Fest is just 5 months away and no improvements since last year’s Fest. How come the county is sitting back letting it go unaddressed?

Capt-Rick-Murphy-with-wife-Cathy-&-fishing-Captains-John-Hoover-Marshall-Ruffo[Dolphin Tournament Winners] During the weekend of May 17th, 18th & 19th 2013, the Big Pine and Lower Keys Dolphin Tournament hosted 189 anglers, fishing aboard 64 boats. 67% of the anglers traveled from outside Monroe County. Captain’s meeting; weigh-ins and the awards banquet took place at Sugarloaf KOA. This year the tournament featured Celebrity Guest Captain Rick Murphy of the Florida Insider Fishing Report and Sportsman’s Adventures who also fished the tournament. This year the tournament featured over $35,000 in cash and prizes.

Weigh Master Captain Dave Wiley and assistants, Steve Miller, Scott, Sam, Jeff and Jake weighed in 58 Dolphin, 2 Tuna and 4 Wahoo, many of the dolphin in the 20 to 30 lb range.



Grand-Champion-Shane-CurryOpen Division:  anglers in this division
1st Shane Curry, Key West, Fl  42.60lbs  $7,500 Reel Conch


2nd  Mike Malvasio, Southwest Ranches, FL  40.00lbs    $1,000 Swallow the Leader

3rd   Joe Burnett, Naples, FL  35.50lbs  $500 Seven Twelves   

Ricky Rods with a Quantum Optix Reel sponsored by Jig’s Bait & Tackle and Trophies were awarded to:      


Youth-First-Place-Jayce-HowellYouth Division
1st   Jayce Howell, Naples, Fl 23.10 lbs  Gatordone

2nd  Austin Malvasio, Southwest Ranches, FL 19.75lbs  Swallow the Leader

3rd  Chase Franco, Naples, Fl  18.70lbs Swallow the Leader






Top Lady Angler Jeanette Williams, Cudjoe Key, FL  24.90Lbs   $300  Reel Time

Special Awards.Custom Made Ricky Rod Stand Up Spinning Rods with FIN-NOR Sportfisher Reels donated by Jigs Bait & Tackle were awarded to Darren Threlkeld of Big Pine Key fishing aboard the Jay Cee Baby for catching a 13.70 pound Tuna and to Bill Hamm of Cudjoe Key, Florida fishing aboard the Last Draw for bringing in a 46.00 pound Wahoo.

It was announced the 21st Annual Original Big Pine & Lower Keys Dolphin Tournament will be held May 16, 17, 18, 2014 

 I have a beautiful house for sale in Eden Pines. Please watch this Video. ~Nira Tocco

nira tocco realtor 9.12

Rip current safety. Link

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[Hug a Cockroach] Studies have shown that cockroaches can recognize individual members of their family, they live together in closely bonded groups, and they make collective decisions, about where to seek shelter, for instance, that will benefit the entire clan. They also “talk” to one another about good sources of food and prefer to dine in groups rather than alone. In other words, cockroaches, unlike many people, cooperate with and are civil to one another in order to get things done. Link

Pretty little Peacocks
Sitting by the Blue Hole.
See how run
Like birds from a gun
Hear how they cry
They’re crying
Listen Mr. Trapper
Just you go away
I want to stay
Hear me crying
My chicks are dying.
Coo Coo Ca Choo
Ca Coo Coo Ca Choo
Just watch me fly
In the sky
Look in my eyes
I’m crying.



[Key Deer and Peacock Video] Save the peacocks! Have you ever noticed that deer clean each other’s necks and faces? I believe it is because that’s the only place they can’t reach themselves.  A picture is worth a 1,000 words. Video

[Climate fail] “If there is one weather phenomenon global warming theory does NOT predict more of, it would be severe thunderstorms and tornadoes. Tornadic thunderstorms do not require tropical-type warmth. In fact, tornadoes are almost unheard of in the tropics, despite frequent thunderstorm activity.

Instead, tornadoes require strong wind shear (wind speed and direction changing rapidly with height in the lower atmosphere), the kind which develops when cold and warm air masses “collide”. Of course, other elements must be present, such as an unstable airmass and sufficient low-level humidity, but wind shear is the key. Strong warm advection (warm air riding up and over the cooler air mass, which is also what causes the strong wind shear) in advance of a low pressure area riding along the boundary between the two air masses is where these storms form.

But contrasting air mass temperatures is the key. Active tornado seasons in the U.S. are almost always due to unusually COOL air persisting over the Midwest and Ohio Valley longer than it normally does as we transition into spring.” Link 

religion politics zone

[Gun Nuts] False flag at Sandy Hook to advance the 2nd Amendment agenda? Geeez, real gun nuts only make up a small percentage of gun owners, but they sure are the loudest and nuttiest.

YouTube is a haven for conspiracy nuts. You can find video on YouTube debunking salt being salty if you looked hard enough.


[Umbrella] Well I’ll be a monkeys uncle. Me and FTR agreed on something. Yo, FTR, next time when you diatribe about something, leave the partisan part out. Be an honest poster and blame even your beloved Republicans too!

[Frontline on PBS] Top Secret America – 9/11 to the Boston Bombings. Video




Democrat dream team.

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Its okay that 4 states now allow assisted suicide, I guess I am waiting for Washington D. C. to allow it too.  We can only hope (get it? … hope?). 
[Tornado] Fox news isn’t blaming Obama for the toronado because, although he is full of hot air his supply is a bit low dealing with all the problems he caused or let occur.

[Benghazi] Sorry FTR I am not as delusional as you wish I were. Here’s the reality that you just can’t grasp because it doesn’t create dispersions on the President.

Search “McClatchy: twice Ambassador Stevens said no to security” then read the results. Then you decide who the delusional one is. It won’t be the one FTR predicted wouldn’t answer.

Why does everyone expect Obama to know exactly how the IRS works? He’s from Kenya, for Pete’s sake!


[Muslims] Islamberg, located in rural upstate New York, is a 70 acre, underground-bunkered paramilitary Islamic compound. Islamberg is the best known among 35 such compounds, ranging in size from 25 to 300 acres, that already dot 22 states across America. Built 3 decades ago, Islamberg is still owned by Jamaat al Fuqra and inspired by its leader, Syed Mubarak Ali Shah Gilani.

What is Jamaat al Fuqra? Jamaat al Fuqra is the Pakistani Islamic group responsible for a string of murders, bombings and other terrorist acts across the world, including in the USA. Its chapter in America calls itself, “Muslims of America” (MOA), and actively recruits at mosques and prisons, where African-American inmates are especially targeted. Link


[“Karl Marx on Republicans”] Karl Marx said no such thing about Republicans or the Republican Party. These are just the wretched lies the left must repeat over and over to themselves. He did say this about Republicans though: In 1865 Marx praised Republicans as “the single-minded son[s] of the working class” who led their “country through the matchless struggle for the rescue of an enchained race and the reconstruction of a social world.

But please don’t let this stop you from expressing your beliefs. Every time the left speaks we are able to drag you into the sunlight for all to see. This is a photo of Karl Marx. Harpo Marx (from yesterday’s post) was not his brother.

Will Rogers, the great humorist, once said, “If you ever injected truth into politics, you would have no politics.” I say, If you injected truth into the teleprompter during one of Obama’s speeches, there would be nothing left but an empty chair. 


right only grey



Deer Friends, our world would be a better place if we all simply thought for a moment before we engaged our mouth or our keyboard.  Yesterday a poster gigged me for using the term “ginned up”. Apparently s/he was moderately offended at the thought that pals of Obama had to be drunk to agree with his policies. That may or may not be true, if true it would explain a lot.  But, that’s not what I wrote. I wrote that Obama supporters are “gRinned up.” Simply put it means that they are happy, facile, bovine, compliant, supporters of the great “O”. To them he can do no wrong.  Quiz question: who/what were the “Eloi”? Today’s slupporters of the “O” eagerly consume all that is set before them. Far too many seem to have no ability or interest in critical thought. They have smiley faces no matter what mischief he and his wreak on our great nation.


Part 2) Team Obama can hear the hoof beats of the 4 horsemen of the Apocalypse racing towards their doors. Every day the scandal involving the IRS becomes more and more radioactive, soon it must reach critical mass. Think about it, think about the ramifications of the Obama Administration using the IRS as a political weapon of mass destruction.

obamagate22In just the past few days the boil has begun to burst. We’ve just learned that an Internal Revenue Service review of the agency’s approach of scrutinizing conservative groups seeking tax-exempt status questioned the now-controversial policy a year ago, according to House Oversight and Government Reform Committee spokesman Ali Ahmad.

IRS officials briefed House and Senate committee staffers on the matter on May 13, the day before the Treasury Department’s Inspector General for Tax Administration released his report describing the decision to single out groups with phrases such as “tea party” and “patriot” in their name as “inappropriate.”

In late March 2012, IRS deputy commissioner Steven Miller–who resigned his post as acting commissioner last week at President Obama’s request–directed senior technical advisor Nancy J. Marks to investigate allegations of political targeting of groups seeking tax exempt status, agency officials told congressional aides. On May 3, 2012. Marks gave what IRS officials described as a “presentation” to Miller describing her findings. Marks said the investigation had found significant problems in the review process and a substantial bias against conservative groups, Ahmad said. No written findings were produced as a result, the aide said, and it does not appear the internal review led to any disciplinary actions against IRS employees.

It would take more than a year, and an orchestrated question at an American Bar Association meeting, to bring the matter to light.

While thinking about the foregoing, which is only the beginning of the story, please bear in mind that the person directly responsible for the operation, has been selected by Team Obama to become the head Mickey in the IRS for setting up and enforcing Obamacare in the IRS. That person is Sarah Hall Ingram, who had been serving as commissioner of the office responsible for tax-exempt organizations from 2009 to 2012 — the division included the group that targeted Tea Partiers — and has since left to serve as director of the IRS’ Affordable Care Act division.  We know now that it happened, now we need  to know who gave orders.

Go figure.

Thanks again for the many kind words, it’s good to be back on deck. Special thanks to the critics who revel in self flagellation. You folks make for good reading. Masochism is a personality trait that is well deserved.

Respectfully submitted:


Fl. Public Service Commission Order in No Name Key Electric Case: We find that the Territorial Agreement we approved in Order No. 25127 was developed and executed subject to our regulatory jurisdiction granted by Section 366.04, F.S., and it remains subject to that jurisdiction. It, and our order approving it, govern the issue of whether the Reynolds and No Name Key Property Owners [Association]are entitled to receive electric power from Keys Energy, and we have exclusive jurisdiction to make that determination.

We find that a plain reading of that section demonstrates that the Reynolds and No Name Key property owners are entitled to receive electric power from Keys Energy by the terms of our Order No. 25127.

Order No. 25127 is an exercise of our jurisdiction under our enabling statutes in Chapter 366, F.S. The Legislature has declared that jurisdiction to be “exclusive and superior to that of all other boards, agencies political subdivisions, municipalities, towns, villages, or counties, and,in case of conflict therewith, all lawful acts, orders, rules, and regulations of the commission shall in each instance prevail.”20 Section 364.01, F.S. This would include the [Monroe] County’s Comprehensive Plan and any local ordinances implementing it.

We would point out that the United States Fish and Wildlife Service has indicated that the Key Deer and other endangered species will not be harmed by the installation of power lines on No Name Key, if constructed properly. We would also emphasize that this Order does not authorize further development on No Name Key. That is within the County’s purview, which has several means at its disposal to discourage further development on the island other than the prohibition of electric service to existing homes there.

For the reasons explained above, we grant the Reynolds complaint, and we find that they and the No Name Key property owners are entitled to receive electric service from Keys Energy.