2013 May

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The Coconut Telegraph

Anonyomous letters to the editor with pictures

The Original Unsocial Media

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[Down With Tourism] It’s so nice to see all the tourist come down to spend their money and make the rich~richer here. I for one don’t make a penny off tourism. So as far as I am concerned they can all stay in Cuba or Miami or where ever they come from. I think we should build a factory here, have a stable economy and get rid of tourism once and for all. Maybe Publix could even lower the price of milk from $5.09 a gallon to what the rest of the country is paying like $3.50 a gallon. Or maybe Monroe county can reimburse any one who does not derive any incomes from tourism. At 13% sales tax for hotel rooms I am sure they can afford it. I’m sorry to bitch I forgot they were too busy buying Rowell’s Marina and making a common ground for the community like they did with the Quay in Marathon (that now stands bulldozed and empty).

[Missing You] Here I am in a town where the local kid wants to blow-up a school and there is no work & all I want to do is get back to the Keys. It may be the beginning of another season but I will take the heat and what ever else mother nature throws at me. I’d rather live where people will at least say hello on the bike path and understand what comradeship is when the s**t hits the fan. You know what? BPK here I come!

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[Help Wanted] Guard. Cudjoe Key Blimp site currently has a job opening for a Night Shift Guard.  This is a position with benefits.  You must be physically fit, drug free, and able to work holidays and weekends.  If you are interested in applying, please email your resume to Bulletin Board

[Pot Law Signed] A set of laws to govern how recreational marijuana should be grown, sold and taxed was signed into law Tuesday  in Colorado, where Democratic Gov. John  Hickenlooper called the measures the state’s best attempt to navigate the uncharted territory of legalized recreational pot.


[Memorial Day] It wasn’t until manhood that I understood Memorial Day was to remember soldiers who died. I always thought is was a day where the family would visit my Granny’s grave and bring a potted flower to put on it.



[Pet Fish Reality Show] Times must be getting tough for TV shows, because it seems they are scraping the bottom of the barrel for starts and scripts. Anything goes, like I really want to see a show about ignorant Swamp People, or Sewer Rats or religious nuts helping the poor in Detroit.

This is a typical blog in that it does post a variety of people’s thoughts and feeling, but as soon as I read any post that is prodigious against one political party or another, I skip that post. I feel if a person cannot express his/her thoughts without knocking sides, then their point is moot. 

Dozens of Keys firms join BP lawsuit. Interesting read.  Link

Keys Energy rebates are running out. Link 
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[Gay Scouts] Come on America, what happened to the good old days when men were men and boys were not scared to hold up three fingers?

[“Climate fail”] The only fail is that there are still the weak minded that believe that climate change can be accomplished for the better or worse by the hand of man.  Remembering that one volcano eruption in one day can put out more CO than all of the man made sources in a year.  Before you get your panties in  a wad I am not saying that we should not reduce pollution emissions for the sake of air quality but stop lying about being about climate change.


[America Not Safe to Go Unarmed] A poster asked  if having all those police agencies makes it safe enough not to need to carry a gun. Let’s just look at the track records of those agencies and the people they still employ. I think I will keep my own personal protection in my waistband especially  with drug addicted sheriffs on patrol or ones that allow their guns to be stolen twice. Or an agency like KWPD that was indicted for RICO violations or has had officer fired for beating handcuffed prisoners. The list is endless.



[The song “Louie Louie”]  I feel the same way when I hear Hymns and religious noise. It turns my stomach to see sheeple seduced by such mysticism and propaganda. So let us legalize prostitution and let those who would be sexually frustrated like that poster, be free of sin. Amen. 

[“What Qualifies a Veteran”]  You have to serve a full enlistment in one of the services and be honorably discharged. 

[Fishing] My worst day fishing was always better than my best day working.

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[Gay Scouts] Couldn’t the Girl Scouts let the gay boy scouts in? It seems a better fit. 

[“Do you still feel the Keys are so dangerous that you have to carry a gun”] Yes! Where the hell is a sailor when you need one.

[“Do you feel safe enough”]  The list in yesterday’s posting is missing a few agencies that are certainly functioning here in the Florida Keys.  What about all the agencies in the communities such as Marathon, Key Colony Beach, Islamorada, Key Largo, etc?  It seems as if each of these communities do not feel all the other agencies are adequate in protecting their citizens.



[Real Hollywood Heroes] Don Adams joined the U.S. Marines in the early days of World War II. He saw combat in the invasion of Guadalcanal and was the only survivor of his platoon. He contracted blackwater fever and nearly died, remaining hospitalized for more than a year. After his recovery he served as a drill instructor. 

[Learn a lesson from your dog] No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that s**t and move on.

Today’s Lunch Special at Springers: Blackened Chicken Quesadilla with Black Beans and Rice $9.95
Happy Hour (at the bar only) 3 pm – 6 pm Every Day


an_justice4[Key Largo Law Firm Opens Key West Office] The law firm of Restivo & Reilly LLC announces the opening of its Key West Office, and the affiliation with Thomas Hampton, Esquire, as Of Counsel to the firm.  Mr. Hampton will be located in the Key West Office in Old Town.

The firm focuses primarily on Family Law and Criminal Law and is one of the largest firms in South Florida for BP Settlement Claims.  Since November 2012, the firm has obtained nearly $10,000,000.00 in Settlement Claims for Monroe County residents and businesses. Mr. Hampton, who is also the Program Attorney for the Guardian ad Litem attorney, will offer the same high-quality services offered by the firm in Key Largo.  He also plans to focus on offering legal services specifically for the Gay and Lesbian community on issues related to their contemporary legal needs.  The firm’s Key Largo attorneys will also be available to residents of Key West to handle all of their legal needs.

Bernadette Restivo, Managing Partner, focuses primarily on Family Law.  As a former attorney for the Department of Children and Families, she is well versed in complex marital law litigation.  She is also very involved in the BP Settlement Program, monitoring the claims of their numerous clients on a daily basis.  She is also licensed to practice in Ohio.

Jessica Reilly, Partner, is a former Assistant State Attorney in Miami-Dade.  While her primary focus is Criminal Law, she handles a cross-section of cases which involve criminal allegations as well as family law situation such as domestic abuse and injunctions.

Lora Damiani, Of Counsel, practices primarily personal injury and class action cases including tobacco litigation.

Both offices can be reached at 305-453-4961; their website is

Never confuse intelligence with education. Most people are educated way beyond their intelligence.

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[“Raw egg fixes radiator in emergency”] If you are stranded in the desert with a leaking radiator where are you going to find an egg?

[“Memorial Day is about dead people”] That has got to be the all time stupid statement I have ever read on here.

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[“What qualifies a person as a military veteran”] I served 6 years and 8 months in the National Guard at home during peacetime. Am I a veteran? I don’t feel like a veteran. I’d be embarrassed to tell a Vietnam vet that I was a veteran when all I did was march in a few parades, go to silly meeting and summer camp for two weeks every year (well, I did go through the same basic training as them).

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Where you fall down is where you will have to get up. You cannot fall down at the bottom of the mountain, but stand up at the peak. The journey happens one patient methodical, often boring, step at a time. This is very difficult for a generation geared toward instant gratification and the desire for applause at every step forward. When you were a toddler you received praise and applause for every step forward, even when you fell down on your butt.

Dear Greenies and other assorted worriers: Climate changes period. For proof, visit any natural history museum.



[“Wind turbine are money-wasting project”] Oh come on, we know you are an oil stock holder so back off the stupid rhetoric. If this planet had total solar power designed correctly, no other power sources would be needed, except  for those that  should make profit for the gluttons at the stock exchange. Look who owns and runs the utilities and who owns most of the natural resources in our country, then you just might realize whose ass you have to kiss to live here. 

[“What qualifies a person as a military veteran”]  Length of active duty service time, as stated in the regs. 

To a Vietnam vet:  Thank you for your service. A lot of people feel this way. Again, thank you!

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[Captain Doom and Gloom] There should be more sections to this blog; one each for Blondes (male & female), rednecks, politicos, religious nuts, sneaky advertisers, and real humans. 

Graph of sea level rise. Draw your own trend line. Link

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[Blaming The Wrong Man] The political party not in the White House has always attacked the President.  Human migration patterns have been largely driven by economical and religious reasons – when you are making less than a dollar a day, a job in the west is very attractive.  Trafficking in human labor is no one, outpacing arms trafficking.

A foreign policy of appeasement has been proven to be a failure often leading to world wars – the current admin is appeasing Islam and its radicals.  The Brits recently said it best – the enemy is all around us now and we must remain vigilant.



[Corruption] In a rare bipartisan action, congressional military ‘experts’ of both parties are about to force the Army to continue building Abrams tanks — when the Army said it doesn’t want them and can’t use them. The tank manufacturers, of course, have convinced Congress that it needs the contracts, no matter what the Army says.

[Conspiracy] Governor Jesse Ventura openly speaks out about false flag operations conducted in the U.S. Why is it that in WTC 93, Oklahoma, WTC 9/11, the London train bombing, the train bombing in Spain, the chemical bombing in Japan, Sandy Hook Elementary, the Boston marathon all had law enforcement drills either the same day, or the day before? Hmmmm! What a coincidence, wouldn’t you say? Link

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[Terror Attacks] Some folks on the C.T. want you to believe that terrorist attacks have grown in numbers and countries because of our President. Lets take a look at history just since 1993. I don’t think Obama has been the President since 1993, but hey, I guess in some circles I could be wrong.

Look at the names of the countries and tell me which countries right now are having Islamic problems that are new to the list and never had terrorist attacks until Obama came into office.

I look forward to your list. Link 

[Stock Market Breaks 15 All-time Highs] FTR said, “Democrats have had defacto control of our government and our economy for the past 6 and a half years.  In the past 6 ½ years our economy has gone in the toilet.”

Democrats can’t have much “control” if the GOP insists on blocking and filibustering things like it’s going out of style.

And: “The Democrat record for showing concern for the working persons and minorities sucks.” Could you get more delusional, FTR? Provide a chart of the GOP’s record for concern regarding working folks and minorities, put it next to the democrats’ side-by-side, and we’ll see if you can say that same thing with and validity. 



Death to whistleblowers? Support Bradley Manning.

FTR: “The Beirut intervention was begun and ended by Eisenhower.” FTR, prepare to stand corrected by actually including what you purposely left out. Oh it was? Then tell me about the 24th MAU that I was a part of… I’d like to hear your rendition of that fatal piece of history you neglected to include. I am offended.


The green reactor does not know what he is talking about. No Name Key never was a solor Island. The grid was coming to the island all the way back to the early 1970’s. We have been trying to get electic ever since. The generators are used so we can have an ice maker and self defrosting ice box, not a cooler, and A/C and to charged batteries on a cloudy day.

[No Name Key Electricity:  Response to Blue Paper article] Dear Mr. Lybrand and fellow Last Standers- It is you who perpetuate the distortion of truth regarding the discrimination that has occurred regarding the No Name Key electricity fight.  Did you do any real research regarding the history of how NNK came to have no electricity?  Seriously?  No, just like most other Last Shammers, you chose to spew out misinformation and lies to support your biased agenda.  The residents on NNK thank the Keynoter for being the only newspaper in the Keys (or elsewhere) with the kahunas to write the truth.  They published a series of articles last fall that documented the truth, and they called it like they saw it is in their opinion section a week ago.  Kudos to the Keynoter!!

Mr. Lybrand, most of us here could care less that Ms. Putney lives in Canada during the hottest months of the year.  What repulses us is the fact that she often opines that no one here needs air conditioning, or that if you do, you could easily run it with solar power.  Bogus!  Do you know that people weren’t denied electricity until AFTER they had legally built their homes?  (Doesn’t that seem just the slightest bit fucked up?) There is no evidence to prove that NNK was ever going to remain off-grid, we challenge you to provide any written evidence of this “Solar Community”.  Fact is, there are electricity easements on our roads, and letters from the electric company proving otherwise.  Ms. Putney, in efforts to stop a development from being built next door (Galleon Bay) got on the county planning commission and, in the middle of a lawsuit (residents fighting for grid electric vs MOCO) where she was a named intervener, wrote and voted on a Land Dev. Reg that prohibited her neighbors from getting grid electricity.  And you condone this?  Your heroic environmentalist is simply a selfish NIMBY, that’s been obvious to most of us on NNK for decades.

Mr. Lybrand, we NNK’ers would also like to go on record as saying you so-called environmentalists have done solar electricity a huge disservice by NEVER mentioning the words grid-tie or net metering.  Not ever. Do you even know what net-metering is Mr. Lybrand?  Do you know that most of the world’s solar communities are actually tied to the grid?  Yes, over 98% of the world’s solar electric systems are used in a grid-tied fashion, but you don’t even have the guts to mention this in your article.  It’s not on-grid vs. off-grid Mr. Lybrand; there is a middle ground here that the average American is much more willing to embrace versus the prospect of living off-grid in south Florida.  Shame on the Blue Paper for withholding the truth about grid-tie & net metering, the real future of solar power in America.

In finishing Mr. Lybrand, we ask if you have you ever been to NNK? Your utopian description of NNK as a “utility-less wildlife sanctuary barrier island” really shows your lack of knowledge about any of these descriptors.  As most who came before you, you like to refer to NNK as being some remote, secluded wildlife sanctuary.  Do you know that all of the homes on Big Pine, Ramrod, the Torches, Sugarloaf all fall within this Key Deer Refuge?  Somehow you feel the residents of NNK are the only ones that should bear the burden of living in this wildlife sanctuary?  And if you agree, than we might ask, just why did Ms. Putney think it was her right to destroy our precious wildlife habitat to build her gigantic, wildlife excluding estate when she had the choice to live outside this sanctuary?  Oh, and this might seem petty, but fyi, would you please look up the definition of a barrier island? We are sick of seeing that word bandied about by local biased media as if it gives you a reason for justifying the discrimination that has occurred on NNK. We aren’t a barrier island, never have been, never will be, and the rocks that form NNK are no different than the rest of the Keys.  Look it up, cause it really makes you sound uneducated.