2014 November

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with pictures. Published Monday through Friday by Noon.

A severe cold front is moving in right now at 8:15am. I can see the wall of cold moving over the island. Time to change to long pants and put on a shirt.
[Charles Eimers Death-In-Custody: The Missing Bystander Video] Taken by the worst videographer in history. 8 cops should be enough to subdue 1 Eimers without killing him! One year ago Thanksgiving Day. Video
Stella-Aug-2014[“Pepper Spray”] I am the women that got her dog pepper sprayed. My sweet, tail wagging, dog, Stella. I’m still in disbelief at how callous and the vicious way she did this. This creepy little smile came across her face, right out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie.
I would like to start a petition banning this women from walking her dog in the neighborhood. She has a fenced yard for her dog, she should stay there for everyone’s safety. If you would like to sign a petition please email me with your name and the street (no house number please ) and the Key you live on and any comments you would like to make to this creep. When I get a sufficient amount of signatures I will make sure she gets all of it. I know we can’t actually make her stop walking the neighborhood, but it sure would make a point to her that she finally has messed with the wrong person and her presence here is not welcomed. I hesitate to give her name out on this public venue but will gladly give it to you when you sign the petition. Spread the word please, we must stop her. I want to start a movement. Thank you to any and all that can help me.
Why don’t they make a TV with a computer built in to it so you can surf the web. So-called web-ready, or Internet TV’s need an app for every website you want to visit and you can’t surf the net.
help wanted sm
Help wanted. Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store is looking for a part time clean-up, maintenance person. This is a on-the-books job, $17 per hour. Stop by and fill out a application. Classified Ads > Help Wanted
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Thank you, Big Pine & Lower Keys Rotary for hanging the Christmas lights, they always help to put us in the Christmas spirit.
[Hard Drive Prices] they’ve really come down in price. Six months ago I bought a Seagate 1TB HDD for $90. Yesterday I bought the same HDD for $47 at
[Ebola] Unchecked, Ebola would take only 4 weeks to infect the entire world. It’s been two weeks and no one want s to talk about it anymore.
yellow rose bloom
[Fragrant Farts]
Frenchman develops pills to make flatulence smell of roses. Some great news for the holiday season. Where can I buy a barrel of this? Link
Thank you for the free ad. The mature, sober woman with two dogs found an unbelievably nice rental for mere pennies — and it was because of you and your readers. Thanks and see you in January. Yippee!
[Architecture Police] Now that we’ve exhausted the round house discussion, let’s take a look at the square house in Port Pine Heights!
Florida’s consumer confidence is reaching its highest point in more than seven years. The monthly University of Florida survey released Tuesday shows consumer confidence was 86 in the month of November. That’s on a scale of 2 to 150 benchmarked to 1966 at a value of 100. That’s a jump from October.
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Adam Sandler’s Thanksgiving song. Video
Florida Gov. Rick Scott exchanged emails dealing with vetoes, the state budget and his speeches from a private email account. Scott has previously said he used a Google email account to communicate with his family and not for state business. He also said that if ever he got an email dealing with state business he would forward it to his public email accounts, but he didn’t.
[“Response to the global warming (Jim Inhofe) hoax”] One of your loyal followers says, “The alarmist bubble is deflating, so they’re trying harder than ever to sustain the scare. Problem is, Mother Nature isn’t cooperating.” Mother Nature is cooperating. If he was stuck with a pin he would be blind in both eyes.
Jimmy Ruffin,
the Motown singer whose hits include “What Becomes of the Brokenhearted” and “Hold on to My Love,” died Monday in a Las Vegas hospital. He was 78.
Jimmy Ruffin — What Becomes of the Brokenhearted
[“Ferguson”] Really? Totally vindicated? Once again , the Fox News crowd thinks the Ferguson police officer is innocent and the rest of us normal people see both sides of the story. Contrary to a previous post, the DA did pick and choose the evidence and witnesses he presented to the grand jury. What choices do the citizens have when the establishment runs amok?
The spiny lobster fishery is one of Florida’s most valuable, generating $50 million a year. Fishermen this year have been paid as much as $22 a pound for lobster.
vulture skull
[Early Bird Special] Someone hit a big Key Deer on Ramrod Key and it was laying dead along the side the highway. The buzzards were all over it Tuesday morning. Definitely making it the early bird special of the day.
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Close up of the Moth orchid.
Refrigerator needed, reasonably priced, used, in the Big Pine to Big Torch area, we can pickup, Please email me at Classified Ads > Wanted
How could anyone eat a “rabbit with bad teeth“?
[“Deer Ed’s broken computer”]  We are very fortunate to have an apple store here in the Keys.  Joe Lytton from Big Pine Key is among the employees.  He is VERY knowledgeable, and will help you choose the perfect system for your needs.  He helped me set up everything for my Mom’s iPad.  Nearly everyone balks at the idea of buying a Mac until they have one and find that they don’t need to purchase any extras. Operating systems are already installed, and the best security is in place.  At my suggestion, my friend purchased an iPad there last year, and could not be more pleased.  When Google fouled up his gmail with new security requirements, he walked back into the Apple store, and had immediate help.  Problem solved. Shopping locally has huge advantages. (Ed: You are correct about the iPad. It is still the best tablet, but you are wrong about everything else technical in you post. Bah, humbug.)
For sale. Kenmore Elite dishwasher. Under the counter model in very good to excellent condition. Cleans my dishes perfectly. Asking $250. Contact Classified Ads > Appliances
[“Renting”] While it is true that most homeowners pay less for their mortgage than a comparable rental, they also have to worry about maintenance issues.  Some of these maintenance costs can be quite expensive; roof repairs, plumbing problems, painting, electrical issues, and more.  When you are renting a house, these costs are usually covered by the landlord.  This is definitely one of the perks to renting instead of owning.  Your rent payments are predictable payments, no worrying about unpredictable maintenance expenses that come up and now the homeowners have ‘permit tax’.  If it wasn’t for the gorgeous weather, which homeowners do not control not many people would saddle themselves with a 30 year mortgage.
Ferguson officer Darren Wilson‘s grand jury testimony: 7 revelations. Video
[“Bike/car science problem”] Well it could be a physics problem, so I guess science would fit in. We now have a 4,125 lb vehicle driven by a crazed maniac. We all know anyone that would reside in Michigan has to be crazy, and a maniac like Ted Nugent and Eminem. And the fact that the speed limit is 30mph on Key Deer Blvd, would make them a crazed maniac since they are traveling at 60mph. And we have a Jersey Devil that is the size of a Ford Ranger, 2,230. I can hear the bike screaming for help. The camel toe alone has enveloped the seat. (My mouth is souring at the thought)So, we have these two masses opposing and about to make contact that will cause everyone to use Wilder Road for some time to come due to the hazmat clean up. If I had actually gone to trigonometry class and had not had my older sister complete my homework (I used to pay her) I would actually be able to write this out. But since I’m a dumb ass when it comes to anything more then simple geometry I’m going to wing it.

After impact, a mushroom cloud is observed and a gelatinous mass will fall like rain as far away as Cudjoe, and everyone crossing the Seven Mile Bridge will be impacted as well. People of Big Pine will hear a shrill that later they will be explained as a smokers cough, with a twang. When the dust settles, and the blubber stops shaking, the operator of the vehicle from Michigan will emerge unscathed due to his state of inebriation wondering if he can keep the deer he just hit. That my fellow BPK reader is the best I can do after a couple of scotches, hope you at least grinned–a laugh would be better.

[“Ferguson”]  This is going to be like the OJ Simpson verdict. Blacks will believe Wilson is guilty and Whites will believe he’s innocent. Let the truth be damned.
] A black gang member ripped off a convenience store clerk for a cigar blunt wrapper, crossed the street, got busted and killed by a MO cop. But on the other hand no one wants me to speak on the radio about a White tourist retiree from Michigan that was murdered on the Southernmost Beach last Thanksgiving by the 13 officers of the K.W.P.D. Then covered up by the hospital staff, County Coroner, Chief of Police, and Mayor of Key West.
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[The Excrement Experiment]
Treating disease with fecal transplants. Some disease sufferers have benefited from fecal transplantation, in which a healthy person’s stool is transferred to a sick person’s colon. Link
[“Ferguson”]  One question. If the big, burly 18 year old man (6’2″, 300 lbs) did not help himself to cigars in the mom & pop store, and shove pop to the ground when he wanted his property back, would all of this had taken place?
[“Eimers police brutality case”] I can’t understand why the locals passed up the opportunity to riot, loot stores and then burn them down. I wonder what the big difference was? (sarcasm; for those of you who are brain dead)
[“Ferguson on fire”
]  Of course it is.  Nothing would have satisfied the black community except a public execution of the cop who acted according to his training and department protocol.  It seems that the answer to any perceived slight against any black thug or criminal, no matter that there may be overwhelming evidence of a violent crime committed, is for the community to first protest, and then riot when the outcome of the Grand Jury and FBI investigation shows no wrong doing on the part of the police.  The riots are always the same.  Burn, baby, burn. Loot and steal anything they can get their hands on. Destroy businesses and personal property and generally devastate anything in sight.  When all is said and done they have mostly destroyed their own neighborhoods and left a ruined community in their wake.  If they want to burn down their own neighborhoods let them.  The travesty is that once the whole thing finally goes away the very same arsonists, looters and thieves will be in line for more free welfare handouts because they were the poor victims of this terrible episode that they themselves caused.  And then there’s the Rev. Al Sharpton who goes to every opportunity for self promotion, photo-ops  and to stir up even more community hatred and violence while he’s in the national media decrying police brutality, despite any evidence to the contrary, furthering the fuel of hatred and violence.  The innocent residents of Ferguson will suffer from this for years to come. Some stores will even close due to the increased insurance premiums levied on them.
[“Ferguson“] As always the big activists, like Jessie Jackson & Al Sharpen were nowhere to be seen in Ferguson after the verdict. They are always the first to stir the pot, but when the pot overflows, they are nowhere to be seen. Must be there is no money in it for them, when they are wrong again. It also seems like all the looters and fire starters would make good target practice. What is the law on shooting looters in MO?
With all those new age “words to magnetize”, I’d be surprised if anyone allowed this quack in their front door. Since he lost yet another election maybe this ad is from our perennial candidate looking for a new career?
[“Ferguson”] I can understand protesting but the Governor of the state should have issued shoot on sight orders for anyone green, white or black that were caught looting or destroying property.
Here’s the Thanksgiving song without the gobble and it sounds a lot like Rudolph with the red nose. Video
Gardener grows the hottest chillies by denying them water, pretending to be a predator and shouting at the plants. Video
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golf cart race
Man crushes speed record with 118-mph golf cart. What everybody needs in Big Pine Key. Video
For the science problem about the drunk hitting the half ton plus Jersey girl, I’ve done all the calculations. The drunk would not be injured and the Jersey girl would die in three days and they would both agree that you are a moron.
I am glad Obama is finally acting on his own to get something done for this Country.   In fact he ought to fire the rest of the Government for collecting their pay under false pretenses.
[“Pepper sprayed dogs”] Hey! Let’s be a little more sensitive and PC in our comments. That fat blonde chick is probably some guy’s wife and you probably hurt his feelings. Perhaps a better wording would have been “That Rubenesque stramineous matron who misted our dog with spices.”
[“Ferguson”] The only people who saw all of the evidence and heard all of the testimony refused to indict the police officer in Ferguson. We live in a nation of laws. It is tragic and unsustainable that certain of our citizens choose to riot when the justice system hands down a decision they don’t like.
an racist
The racism posted in yesterday’s C.T. made me incredibly sad. I’m so disappointed in Ed. I just never thought I’d be subjected to such blatant racism and hate scrolling through a publication that usually is fun -or- sometimes outrageous or thought-provoking or ridiculous or educational or truly unnerving. But, hatred and racism? Please, no. Life is short. Peace and love. If that’s not chosen then at lease dialogue and respectful disagreement.
The Putnam’s Monthly from 1856 is one of most well written articles about the Keys I’ve ever read. Thanks so much for sharing it.
Large yard sale Friday & Saturday. All types of hand and power tools, over 20 saws, drills, etc. Craftsman tool box & tools over 50lbs $100 obo, plants sea beans, DVDs, CD, misc household items, free Beahr paint. 4 step ladder $5-10, new 5 gal Igloo cooler, new Jack Lalanne power juicer $30, 12 pair of painters pants, DeWald 14″ metal chop saw like new with extra blades $75 obo. 2 Shakespeare trolling rods like new. (Ed: No address, you have to find it I think.)
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thanksgiving friends
[“Thanksgiving Song”] Here’s a good one, it even has gobble-gobble in the chorus. Video
[“Diced animal”]Just how disturbed does a person have to be to post a joke about throwing a pet animal into the fan of a running automobile engine? Scary!
FTR, Did not Reagan and HW Bush also issue executive orders that loosened immigration rules? Why were their orders constitutional and Obama’s were not? Was it because they were Republicans?
The other day I was watching an excellent documentary on the presidency of former president Richard Nixon. I then realized that the reason why Republicans have been so eager to impeach Obama, just like they wanted to impeach Bill Clinton during his presidency, is because they want payback for Nixon. Yet! Nixon was never impeached, he resigned before it went that far. The truth is that as long as it’s a Democrat president, they want him impeached. But why didn’t they threaten to impeach “W’ who broke so many laws, and even lied to the public on the “WMD’s” which resulted in the loss of American lives and the over expenditure of 2 wars? I wouldn’t doubt it if it so happens, that if the next president happens to be a Democrat. The republicans will ask that he/she be impeached the day after the inauguration.
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If ,as ftr says,Obama has ignored the constitution will the Republicans be derelict of their duties if they don’t impeach him? Will ftr be calling for their heads? Some how I think not.
Obama worst president since WWII, new poll shows ……/obama-worst-presi
The Washington Times
Jul 2, 2014 – Hands down, Obama is the worst president since WWII: poll … “Over the span of 69 years of American history and 12 presidencies.Poll after poll has charted President Obama’s dipping approval rating in recent months, but Wednesday brought perhaps the cruelest cut to date: A new Quinnipiac University survey found that voters rate Mr. Obama as the country’s worst president since World War II.

With Mr. Obama deploying troops to Iraq, failing to find compromise with Congress and seeing major defeats in the Supreme Court, voters continue to sour on him. The new poll also revealed that more voters now say GOP nominee Mitt Romney would have been a better choice in 2012.

It’s the Constitution-So what?? If no one is going to do anything about it It’s just another piece of paper. Anyone who has been in the military raised their right hand and said, I will defend the Constitution against All Enemies, foreign & Domestic, and to obey the LAWFUL orders. The mechanism is there to take care of the Domestic Enemies of our Constitution BUT nobodies got the nerve to do anything about it. Except whine! Be careful what U wish for. We did & look what we got.
Dear Mr FTR: I’m curious. What do you think the Republicans will do in reference to Obamas immigration reform ? It seems that he has set them up with the perfect opportunity to alienate the entire Latino voting block.
As I read the things you write it occurs to me that you are a frightened old man that sees the world changing and doesn’t understand why. So I won’t keep you. I’m sure that there are children that you need to chase off of your lawn.
from the right
moon sleeping
Sorry Deer Friends, no FTR today.  I had to make a round trip to Ft. Laud today and am just too damned tired to FTR it. BTW the east bound traffic on US 1 from Key Largo to BPK was incredibly heavy early Tuesday evening.