Since 2002. Published Wednesdays and Saturdays
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[Vacation] (Ed: I’m publishing Wednesday’s CT on Tuesday hoping you won’t notice. Later today I will be out of the country, so there won’t be a Coconut Telegraph this Saturday, September 19 and Wednesday, September 23 unless I can find an Internet Café with an English keyboard. I should be back to publish the CT on Saturday September 26.) |
| [Crooked Judge Punishes Whistleblower] Am I the only one that finds it disconcerting that Mark Jones, the same judge that refused to give Randy Acevedo any jail time after being convicted of being complicit in stealing nearly a half million dollars of taxpayer money, ruled against the woman who reported the theft in her “whistle-blower” lawsuit? |
 Wetstock 11. Thanks to our friend Flip Flop Bob and everyone else who donated their time and talent to this great fun day of peace and love! |
| Anybody notice a parallel in the Cudjoe Regional sewer fiasco to the below story? All the legal fees of FKAA on CRWS challenges are being paid with infrastructure tax funds. Link |
[Crooks] I have been had or what? I spent $100 for a DNA screen and got back a list of supposed relatives. Most all never posted their correct names or anything about themselves and could be simple computer generated BS! Out of 34 pages of 20+ people each, not one was familiar or even had enough data to link to myself. So what is the point of buying a DNA Kit and having to spend more money to find out any details about these so called relatives? I will never trust anything connected to this DNA scam again. |
| There is nothing like the perfect wife to clean, cook, do laundry, have your kids, and obey your every wish. Then there is nothing like the perfect maid to do everything else! |
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| [Faith] Before you make fun of other people’s beliefs you may want to remember a quote by Albert Einstein, who was no slacker in the brains department: “The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.” And don’t forget the old Will Shakespeare quote: “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” To sum up both quotes: no matter how smart you think you are, you don’t know s**t. |
 [“Turmeric”] It really works in relieving minor inflammation, especially if you use it along with chondroitin/glucosamine (which doesn’t work for all folks). Both are natural and over-the-counter dietary supplements. If you’ve got serious problems it even helps with the serious drugs your doctor gives you.
If you really want to fight inflammation, stop consuming artificial sweeteners and corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup. They all cause inflammation. I did, and my chronic knee pain has completely vanished and it happened within a month. I didn’t believe it until I tried it. |
| [No Name Electric] Anne Press, one of the leaders of the “Solar Community,” (aka Solar Nazis—No grid for you!) who tried for years to prevent her neighbors on No Name Key from hooking up to the power grid (because everything could run on solar electricity, don’t you know), now wants to mooch free electricity service to run her sewer grinder pump.
Attorney Wendy Cook, representing Ann Press and Edward A. Cook appeared before the Keys Energy Utility Board on September 9 and proposed the following motion: “To allow the solar homeowners on No Name Key to be excluded from the No Name Key Property Owners Association/Key Energy Service Line Extension Agreement and to obtain free electrical service.” Ann Press asserted that “KES must provide free electric services to the solar homeowners because solar homes must connect to the grid in order to operate a grinder pump and have a sewage system per Florida Statute” The Utility Board voted unanimously 5/0 against the above motion stating that all grid-connected homeowners must pay their pro-rata share of the infrastructure costs according to the NNKPOA/KES Line Extension Agreement. These solar homeowners are, and always have been, hypocrites. They forced their neighbors to spend tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees to overcome their backward resistance to grid power. Then, after their neighbors paid over $700,000 to install the infrastructure, they want to hook up for free, and have the KES ratepayers give them free grid power. What breathtaking gall, bringing new meaning to the concept of Chutzpah. |
 [Music Stuff For Sale] 1. Mapex Saturn Series Maple shell lacquer finish 9 piece drum set 22” Bass w/Double hammer foot pedal 16” Floor Tom 12” Mount Tom 13” Mount Tom 14” Chrome 70’s Vintage Snare drum w/heavy duty stand Heavy Duty Tama Hi Hat w/14” Sabian Cymbals 2ea 18” Sabian Crash Cymbals w/Boom Stands 1ea 20” Sabian Ride Cymbal w/small Boom Stand 4 piece Ahead Fleece Lined Road cases Gator Rolling Hardware bag Over $2000 invested $1250
2. Crate XT65R guitar amp $125 3. Xavier custom electric guitar w/hard shell case $200 4. Alvarez model 5048 acoustic guitar w/hard shell case $300 5. Crown 2000 w amp, Behringer2442 16 channel mixer, BBE 482 Sound Maximizer. All in Gemini rolling road case with all cables $750. (2) JBL JRX100 15” PA Speakers $350 set. (2) JBL Control SR12 12” PA speakers $250 set. (2) Peavey 15” PA speakers $200 speakers set. Cables included. ~boballsbrook@bellsouth.net |
| A former personal aide to B.B. King is suing three of the late blues legend’s daughters in Las Vegas over allegations that King was poisoned and murdered. Myron Johnson accuses Karen Williams, Patty King and Rita Washington of defamation, slander, libel and conspiracy in the lawsuit filed Thursday in Clark County District Court. Patty King declined to comment, and Williams didn’t immediately respond to messages. Washington called the lawsuit a product of a dispute between Williams and Johnson, who are half brother and sister. Johnson’s lawyer, Brent Bryson, is also the lawyer for King’s estate. Bryson points to police and county elder care agency investigations and affidavits from three doctors who found no evidence that B.B. King was abused. |
 [The Birds] Lower Keys Birding and Nature Exploration: Sept 25th-27th. Are you a birding or nature buff? Do you want to learn more about the incredible birds and wildlife that live in or migrate through the Florida Keys? The National Key Deer Refuge and the Key West Tropical Forest and Botanical Garden are teaming up to offer you a few excellent outdoor adventures: On Fri. Sept. 25th – A free, 3 hour, guided birding walk at Long Beach and Ohio Key with refuge ranger and another expert, and on Sat. Sept 26 there are a slate of activities at the “Garden”, including bird and butterfly walks, free kids birding walk, and an evening wine and cheese social that includes a presentation by Dr. Kenneth Meyer about tracking the daily and seasonal movements of our Florida Keys birds with satellites and uncovering the mysteries of bird migration. Registration for most events is limited so preregistration is recommended. For information or to register for the Friday Bird Walk at National Key Deer Refuge call Kristie Killam @ 305-304-9625 or email kristie_killam@fws.gov. For all other events, call the Key West Tropical Forest and Botanical Garden at 305-296-1504 |
| Muslim behavior/terrorism correlated with population size. Link |
 [Separation of Church and State] Kim Davis, the county clerk who refuses to issue marriage licenses to gay folks, would be better off just quitting the job that refuses to do. Imagine if a Muslim were the clerk and refused to issue licenses to Jews. Or a Mormon who issues multiple licenses to polygamists. We must stop kowtowing to people of faith, any faith, who refuse to obey the law of the land. They should look for work elsewhere where they won’t compromise their beliefs. Separation of Church and State is one of our founding principles for a reason. And Ms Davis’ actions are a very good example why that separation should exists. |
| I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one. |
[The Bacon Cure] Here is an interesting article about using a high fat diet to reverse cancer. Would that be “the bacon cure”? Link |
| Most people believe that they can lose weight and become healthier by giving up the cheeseburgers and just chowing on salads. Well, consider the manatee. Consider the grace and agility of a Holstein. Back n the fifties, pig farmers tried fattening pigs by feeding them lard. They got lean pigs! Dr. Weston Price travelled the world years ago seeking isolated native peoples to research their native diets and general health. You would be amazed at his findings! This article discusses his work in condensed form. Link |
 [Into The Sea] Atlantic Ocean excited to move into beautiful beachfront mansion soon. West Palm Beach, Fl. Admitting it has had its eye on the property for quite some time, the Atlantic Ocean confirmed Monday that it was looking forward to moving into a beautiful beachfront mansion in the near future. “For the longest time it seemed like this place was completely out of reach for me, but I’ve come a long way in the past few years, and now it’s looking more and more like a real possibility,” said the body of water, which confided that, after having admired the building’s impressive exterior and grounds for so long, it was thrilled at the prospect of finally going inside and exploring all eight bedrooms and 7,500 square feet of living area. “I’m not quite ready yet, but in a couple years or so, I can definitely see myself in there, making the place completely my own. And the little beachside community that the house is located in is just so cute, too—I can’t wait to go through and visit all the shops and restaurants.” The ocean noted, however, that it might make a few cosmetic changes to the mansion once it moves in, including gutting the lower floor and taking out a few walls. |
| [Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test] In the summer of 1964 writer Ken Kesey and his Merry Band of Pranksters set off on a psychedelic journey – experimenting with LSD while driving across America in a converted school bus. Audio |
Chariot trike on highway. You know you want one. Video |
| [Proposed development of affordable housing at end of 64th Street, Marathon] Proposed Density : 25 Units per acre Size of Parcel : 11 acres Potential # of Units : 275 Minimum # of Residents : 275 Potential # of Residents : (per unit) 275 x 2= 550, x 3= 825, x4= 1100, x5= 1375, etc etc Additional residential impact : vehicular traffic on 63rd, 64th, & 65th street for all of those residents. Setbacks Variance requested: from 25 feet to 10 feet Note 1 : The area used to be designated wetland from the end of 64th street all the way to the ocean. Until the sewer people used it to temporarily store their material and left enough un-permitted fill to bring it up to grade. Amazing how that happens a lot in Monroe County. Note 2 : The end of 63rd street is underwater & filled with Mangroves which they are proposing to remove and fill as well. (and we can’t even trim ours ! ) If you are concerned about the impact of increased population & vehicular traffic in our quiet neighborhood which will no longer be safe for children or pets, I urge you to attend the meetings and give voice to your concerns. We are not against affordable housing but the density is too much for the area to bear. A more reasonable density would be 8 standard size lots per acre for a total of 88, not 275, and even that will have an impact on the small residential streets and our home values. Meetings : Planning Commission Meeting: Monday September. 21st, 5:30 pm, Marathon Fire Station #14 Please attend these meetings your neighbors need your support to keep our homes secure. |
 Well everyone we all had a blast at Wetstock 11. Thank goodness the rain storm went around us. I was getting worried there for a while. It poured in Cudjoe and BPK but left us dry for our day of Peace & Music! I want to thank all that came out and especially the bands that did this free so we could all have a good time. Here is a link to the Road Whores doing One Way Out. What a great day! Video. ~Your Friend Flip Flop Bob |
| [Marathon Journal] Dick Ramsay interview. 1. How long have you been in Marathon? Ramsay was from New York initially and then retired to Marathon as a small business owner. He has been in Marathon for 42 years. Dick ran Surfside for 28 years. Reflecting on the past, Dick told me how he worked for Sperry Grumman working on multi-layered printed circuit boards. These boards were for NASA’s moon landers.
2. How would you fix Marathon’s sewer systems? He said that Marathon needs to work with the federal, state, and county agencies, leaving nothing on the table. Dick would use his experience and time to address problems in logical manner. We need to stop saltwater intrusion. 3. What are your thoughts on workforce housing? First thing we need is fractional permits. Assume the Hyatt has 60 workforce units during a hurricane event; that means 15 would have to evacuate. TDC should step up with workforce housing funding. The county could transfer permits to the city. Jobs are leaving on the bus. We need to grow jobs here in Marathon. Ramsay said that we need to be more family oriented to keep families here. Zoning in progress should be a tactic to help people who want to stay in Marathon. 4. Your thoughts on Bruce Schmitt’s missives on Facebook? Dick feels sorry for Bruce who, among other things, had an unsuccessful murder for hire event against him. 5. What is the future going to be when the Marathon airport is up and running? Fantastic! He said rehab progress is closing. Being a Port of Entry will attract airlines here. With Cuba opening up, the future is bright. 6. What about a community swimming? Dick said the question should go to referendum deciding once and for all. If passed, one scenario would be a school, county, and the city working together to build the swimming pool on the order of Jacobs Aquatic Center. 7. Any last thoughts? Ramsay said that the people should become familiar with the city’s election process. Dick said that results matter over theory. He honestly wants to fix city services and budget problems. |
Rupert Murdoch has bought National Geographic. Now the dumbing down of America kicks into high gear. |
| [Parking Lots] Mr. Mayor, is there any chance you could make the owners of the big parking lots paint or repaint the directional arrows so the idiots know which way to drive? |
I just dropped off some friends at the Airport in KW and one person remarked how ugly the Control Tower was with what looks like black mold all over the top and sides. I think he was right about that being mold. Ugh! |
| [Six Figure Salaries and The Best Paid Teachers in the State] There has been a lot of interest lately in government and quasi-government entities and the number of employees paid six figure salaries. FKAA has aroused particular attention for the number of employees paid over $100,000. Amidst all of this, no one has mentioned the School District. I suspect that MCSD has more personnel drawing six figure salaries than any of its competitors.
In late August, the School District decided that it was time to reward with raises its 54 top professional and administrative employees who are not part of the UTM bargaining unit. See the following list. Link A cursory assessment identifies 14 individuals, 25% of the cohort, who are paid in excess of $100,000. The top of the heap are Patrick Lefere, Executive Director of Operations and Planning, and Theresa Axford, Executive Director of Teaching and Learning, with salaries of $122,000. Nor far behind is another group of 14, or 25%, who make over $90,000 and will soon join the elite in the $100,000 plus bracket. The above figures are raw salary dollars. They do not include the entire compensation package. MCSD pays benefits of over 30% of straight salary. Using that as the standard, anyone making over $77,000 in salary actually receives over $100,000 in total compensation. This would add another 11 individuals, another 20% of the overall group. That brings us to 70%, the percentage of administrators flirting with or exceeding the $100,000 threshold. I think that it is quite evident that if you wish to make $100,000 either in salary or total compensation, the School District is the employer of choice. While the focus has been on the six figure crowd, let us not overlook the teaching staff of nearly 600. Board Chairman John Dick recently announced the achievement of his major goal. Teachers in Monroe County are once again the highest paid in the state. This comes after plunging to number 3 during the recent housing bubble and the decline in property tax revenue that pays teacher salaries. It is often said that you get what you pay for. If the teachers in our community are the best paid, does that mean that MCSD will be the best district in the state regardless of measurement? For example, will Monroe students score the highest, individually and collectively, on the Florida Standards Assessment? Will we have a higher percentage of students than any other county taking Advanced Placement classes and scoring higher than the statewide competition? Whether we are talking about administrators or teachers, does high pay result in higher production? Are we, the taxpayers, getting what we pay for? ~ Dr. Larry Murray, fiscal watchdog and citizen activist |
The cruise ship Ambassador caught fire in 1974 and was towed to Key West’s Mallory Pier where just about everything was given away (I remember so many people easing escargot out of five pound cans). Later it was towed to Man of War Harbor near Truman Annex and anchored until (being Key West) someone stole it and it was never seen again |
| 25% of the woman in this country are on medication for mental illness. That means 75% are running around untreatred! |
This little fawn doesn’t seem to want to leave it’s mother yet. |
| There’s a lot of posts about the FKAA felony. If this is about the reports, isn’t it an ;alleged’ felony? And isn’t it possible that the FDLE isn’t investigating because there’s nothing too it? The FKAA admitted that the initial reports were pulled incorrectly, the correct reports were then sent, and there was an offer to meet – which the non-FBI guy (he’s just an ex-FBI guy not sure what he did there, but he’s not acting in the FBI capacity) did not yet respond too. I hate to see so much ink wasted on a weak conspiracy theory. We in the Keys pride ourselves on our ingenuity, wit, and colorful views so we can come up with a better conspiracy theory that this one! |
 [Gay Marriage] I think gay marriage is an evolutionary progression. In the past there were few humans on the planet and breeding was essential to the survival of Homo sapiens. Today the world is pathetically overcrowded and the demand for resources like water and food are being strained to the limit. Today we need fewer, not more, people. I’m sure Darwin would agree that homosexual relations are the results of this over population. |
| [Hates Palms] It never ceases to amaze me how stupid Key West people are. The Winn Dixie parking lot is being stripped of oxygen producing trees to be replaced with junk palm trees for looks. Not that they could not dig up and replant the old trees somewhere to save them, but they just hacked them down. Like most parking lots, the idiots that design them never use them. Visibility is terrible in most lots and damn well dangerous in some |
Please move the deer crossing. Some people are just plain stupid. Video |
| Half the day, I wonder if it’s too late for coffee. The other half, I wonder if it’s too early for alcohol. |
| To fix the problems you have with the FKAA, find out why your State Senator, Dwight Bullard, is sitting on the “House passed legislation” written by Holly Rachein (Good work Holly) to have an elected FKAA Board of Directors instead of a Governor appointed and protected Board of Directors. Be self governed not FKAA governed. You are not going to undo their State Agency so you have to control it with an elected Board. |
 [Captain Doom and Gloom] DEF: Paranoid n, When people see reality for what it really isDEF: Gold-digger n, A person who marries for financial profit and plays the law of 50/50 in divorce court! DEF: Float n, A method to keep a fools money as long as possible as a free loan! DEF: Merchant n, A person who sells items overpriced enough to put them on sale at 50% off and still make 25% net. DEF: Prostitute n, A person who supplies the needy with services with no over-head unless you pay extra. DEF: Shower n, A system to wash off grime unless you are under 15. DEF: Medicine n, A concoction that cures one thing but gives you more problems to fix. DEF: Self-driving n, A vehicle that needs no sober driver. DEF: Erection n, That item Hooters does not sell but appears behind the menu! DEF: Key-Word n, A computer key-set that notifies Big Brother you are online. DEF: Gin n, What WC Fields used for mouth wash. DEF: Logic n , A DNA strand that is vanishing in humans. DEF: Driverless n, An invention that started when woman began driving. DEF: Electric Cars n, Vehicles that the cops can switch off with a radar gun. DEF: Sainthood n, A con game for the rich dress wearers with crosses. DEF: Responsibility n, Another DNA strand that has almost completely vanished. DEF: DNA n, A chemical ladder showing the ineptness of humanity. DEF: Race n, What once was the defining system of human differences and is now just mixed paint. DEF: Water n, The most abundant thing besides dirt on earth, except at your spigot |
[“Small farm permit in lower Keys”] One must not need a permit to raise chickens. Just check the BPK Winn Dixie parking lot. I’m not sure about the pigs. |
| Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com |