2017 August

August 1, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures​

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[Exercise] Is it good or bad for you? Probable at least since Pheidippides ran the first marathon thousands of years ago in Greece and then promptly collapsed and died, people have wondered weather strenuous exercise is dangerous for the heart.
Whataboutism” Is a propaganda technique formerly used by the Soviet Union in its dealings with the Western world, and subsequently used as a form of propaganda in post-Soviet Russia. When criticisms were leveled at the Soviet Union, the Soviet response would be “What about…” followed by an event in the Western world.




Transgender soldiers have a new movie out this week, Changing Ryan’s Privates!

[Mexico’s Poisoned Liquor] If you’re going to visit Mexico, just order a bottle of wine and make sure they open it in front of you. You can buy your liquor duty-free and wrap it in to your luggage before your final destination. How would we get the liquor to Mexico if we check our luggage and it goes direct to the destination? Will they let us carry it on?



Miami charter captain Mark Quartiano, a.k.a. Mark the Shark is a total ass and now has a curse on his head.  Many of us hope he burns in Hell, sooner than later. What kind of jackass brags about killing thousands of sharks when they are in fact depleted and so very necessary for our oceans. What an awful person.

[FTR on Party Loyalty] On Friday a poster suggested that those of us who choose to affiliate with a political party are bigoted.   I think not.

I’ve never met a single member of either party whose personal views/beliefs were in full compliance with their party of choice’s platform.  Most thinking people realize that in this world one rarely gets all that one wants. That is especially true in politics.  I’m a Republican, but there are parts of Republican thought that I disagree with.

To me the value of having the mutual support of a large group of people who share most of the same interests and values that I hold, outweighs virtually any single issue.   The reality is that politically unaffiliated registered voters have no voice in primary elections in most states, especially Florida.

The sad fact is that some people who are unable to support their contentions with logic, reason, or fact seem compelled to charge others with bigotry.  It’s been my experience that it is the denizens of left field who most often find it impossible to discuss politics without shrieking that those who disagree are bigots.

(big·ot·ry noun intolerance toward those who hold different opinions from oneself.)

[Solar Deception] I’ve been getting a multitude of emails from Arcadia Power telling me that I can get clean energy.  I’m all for that, but suspicious, so I looked it up. It’s a complicated business. I could try to tell you about it, but you’ll get the story straight by going here: Link

Anyhow, I’m not buying it.  I’m deleting their emails from now on. Darn! I would really like clean energy. The way to do it is to install your own solar or wind system.




I think my Uber driver is in trouble!

[“Sign pollution”] “511 Travel Information” signs are polluting US1.  It is a sad commentary that the signs will remain because local businesses are sponsoring them.  Do you know how long the contracts run?

Is it possible for local government to be apprised of DOT’s intentions to erect new signage before the job is done?  There should be some sort of community input, especially when the signs are superfluous and exceptionally large.  I hope that our county government will take a close look at this policy.




They thought it was a camera!

Useful cleaning hacks for your car. I don’t trust the one advising steel wool on the windshield! Link
Good yogurt can be made really cheaply with powdered milk and a glob of the last yogurt batch. Tastes like good yogurt, whereas powered milk is not fit to drink. Quit buying organic milk because it will not make yogurt or buttermilk or kefir. Something just isn’t natural there. When I had a Jersey cow, her organic milk made cheese, butter, yogurt, buttermilk, ice cream, whipped cream and mighty fine drinking milk. My wife makes yogurt every few days. It’s so simple. Just includes milk. none of that other junk.
[Beer Review] I tried the Elysian Space Dust IPA recently and really like this ale. It is 8.2% alcohol, so it can kick your butt if you are not paying attention. reviewers rated it at 91 “Outstanding”. I found it in Winn Dixie, but ABV distributes it, so it is probably everywhere. The label is awful. To me, it looks like a gay hop bud puking. Shove a coozy over it and all is good if you like bitter hoppy ale.
[Rap/Hip-hop Music 44 Years Old] The renters next door’s kids were in the pool. The were playing non-stop hip-hop music. I play a lot of different kinds of music so I listened to it for awhile to see what was new. All I heard was a straight never-changing bass beat with one or two guys fast talking with auto-tune. The one chord in the song never changed. I know I am old, but I could not find any redeeming qualities in any of the songs. I usually appreciate all kinds of music, but to me, this new genre totally sucked. And the real downside is they don’t even have to learn to play anything except with themselves.
[Crooks] To those of you who are considering hiring a cleaning service: Please type the name of your potential housekeeper into the MCSO arrest log before you hand your house keys out.  Link
Funny how cat rescue turns in to cat hoarding. I have a small herd of nine, three feral and the rest all over the compound. One cat has claimed my bed and hasn’t moved from his spot for a week and doesn’t play with the others. All the cat rescue men and women I have met all have 15 to 21 cats inside. The most recent lady I have worked with has fifteen inside her double wide trailer! I feel sad for her as she confided that she is also a hoarder and has 2 rooms full of junk and kicked out her two children because of her hoard. My cats stay inside where they belong. Monroe County Code can make you get rid of your multiple cat families over the limit of three or four pets. So if you have a herd of pets you may want to keep it on the down low since the code bitches would enjoy forcing their way inside your little casa. What is the number you are allowed to have? Just take all your pets with you when or if you evacuate so they don’t end up like the poor dog “Bandit” who drowned in his living room all alone.
[Aging Rock Stars] Tim Hawkins- Old Rock Star Songs
Big Pine Key Winn Dixie’s Weekly Ad


[“New tech”] A Lyft ride-hailing service logo is displayed on a vehicle at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport in Seattle. Ridehailing service Lyft carried more passengers through June 2017 than it did in all of 2016 as it capitalized on missteps at Uber.

[Sewers] Miami’s sewage is supposed to be pumped offshore but the pipe has sprung a leak. Video


[Lay Down Bicycles] I’d be afraid to ride in traffic in one of those bicycles where you recline instead of sit. They are below the level of the car’s window, so it’s hard for drivers to see them. It’s bad enough that so many cyclists get run over as it is without adding to the problem. Queen – Bicycle Race

[Hops, Yeast and Penis] When I lived up north in the backwoods there were abandoned farms all around me. Back in the early 1900s, these farms frequently planted hops near the house, and they were still there. This wasn’t for making beer so much as for making bread. If you look at a hop leaf, there are little beads of yeast on the bottom. Folks would smash some potatoes in water and add hop leaves with the yeast beads to make a yeasty bread riser. Of course, you could also take apple cider, or any other fruit juice and yeast it with the hop leaves to get something to get drunk on in just a few days. I knew a senior disabled guy on food stamps who used to yeast grapefruit juice and keep it warm near the wood stove for liquor he could afford. I tried it, to be sociable, but I sure prefer a good IPA or rum. He was a good sort, but had lots of bad luck. Got penile cancer and lost his winkie, got real depressed and shot himself in the head, but used a .22 caliber and didn’t die. A friend found him a couple days later in a puddle of blood. He survived but had a lisp afterwards. There’s a lesson there, but suggest you pick a less messy method than a shotgun if you are going to off yourself.


I had a car accident and when the driver of the other car got out I noticed he was a dwarf.  He stomped up to me and said, “I am not happy.  I said, “Well, which one are you?”  That’s when the fight started.

[Real Love] If you ever wonder who loves you more, your wife or your dog, just lock them both in a closet for an hour and see which one is happy to see you when you open the door.
Former Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio was convicted of a criminal charge Monday for refusing to stop traffic patrols that targeted immigrants, marking a final rebuke for a politician who once drew strong popularity from such crackdowns but was ultimately booted from office as voters became frustrated over his headline-grabbing tactics and deepening legal troubles.




[“Excessive signage on US1”] It would be interesting to know if the County approved the signage.  I do not know what role the County plays in such decision making.

Response to [Who Am I] from July 27: Rick Ramsay? You described him exactly! I’m really good at this game. Gimme another!
[“Shark bite”] Does anybody know what happened to that person who was bitten by a shark out on Snipe Point? Is he/she OK? What kind of shark?
[Three Vaginas] I had to confirm the story about Koalas having 3 vaginas. That is not entirely correct. They usually have two to suit the two-headed males penis. Then another vagina forms for birthing, then closes up after. Think that’s weird? Try the spiny anteater (echidna), a mammal with a bird beak that has two vaginas to suit two of the four heads of the male’s penis. He switches to the other pair of heads between copulations. Weird critter: lowest body temperature at about 89F; lays an egg in the pouch that hatches in 10 days into a puggle about the size of a jelly bean; feeds milk to the puggle without nipples by secreting into the pouch and the puggle laps it up; up to a dozen males line up for mating and the train might last a month although only one (per day), really gets lucky although early riser males from hibernation can slip a pair to a still sleeping female, who wakes up pregnant. Link
[Irony] 46 million people now receive Food Stamps. Meanwhile, the National Park Service, asks us, “Please do not feed the animals.” Their stated reason for the policy is because “The animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves.”
Venezuela was all happy to be a democracy when the oil money was flowing, but now that oil money has dried up they want to be a dictatorship. What a road to disaster.
[FTR on TRD] Trump Rejection Dementia is pronounced “turd”.

It’s been a very interesting and amusing early afternoon.  Monday afternoon was nicely warm and breezy.  My bride was shopping at WD on BPK.  Being an unrepentant olde fart I chose to doze in the car with the windows open.  On the back window is a sticker that declares “Proud to be a Republican”.  I was cranked back really enjoying the semi-snooze and the breeze.  My reverie was shattered by a near falsetto voice apparently enraged at all things Republican.   A short, fat male wearing a green t-shirt that was struggling to contain his gut, and with lovely long flowing white hair fashionably tied back with a scrunchy was getting himself cranked up on a very loud tirade about Republicans in general and Trump in specific.  The poor dude was all red faced and seemed genuinely enraged.  I chose not to engage, but simply sat, listened, smiled, and ultimately presented him with a single digit salute.

I chose not to engage simply because nothing good could have come of it.  Certainly he was in no mood for a rational discussion. The poor little dude was so pissed that he was beyond all reason.

Had I chosen to engage him in dialog I would have asked him how the fact that unemployment is at a 17 year low is a bad thing?  I would have asked him if illegal immigration is down 53% and falling since Trump is a bad thing?  I would have asked him if aggressively going after the MS13 gang is a bad thing?  We would have talked about the fact that consumer spending is way up as is consumer confidence.  We would have talked about the fact that we are ratcheting-up sanctions on Russia.  We would have talked about the fact that our Gross Domestic Product’s growth has doubled since Obama? We would have talked about the reform of the VA that is in progress (500 fired for cause to date).

We could have talked about any number of things, including some the things that I don’t like about Trump.  But we didn’t talk–he screeched!  He had a kid with him, a boy about 11 or so. Sadly his Grandpa was not a good role model today. As his parting words of wisdom he felt compelled to pull his ride close to my ear and give his horn a lengthy blast as a parting salute.

Trump Resistance Derangement — turd

[“511 Travel information signs polluting US1”] What strikes me is the lack of recognition that these signs are triggering the distaste they have in the Keys. I would expect someone at the State level would understand why they are not as appropriate here.

PS. Have any of you tried dialing ‘511’ to experience the benefits of this service?  ~ Bill Hunter



[Writers] Big Pine Writer’s Group is meeting from 1-3 Wednesday at the Big Pine Key library’s back room. Full Menu > Ongoing Events

Coral documentary premieres in Keys. Link



[Bikers] Lincolnshire Bike Night. Leathers, green beard, a Harley and pension: guest presenter Paul Murphy meets some of the people behind the longest running bike night in the UK. Video

Vitamin D has been shown to be very important for cancer prevention, dementia prevention, the maintenance of strong bones and much more. UV B radiation from the sun on unprotected skin will keep you in good supply. Or you can take a supplement. The supplement is commonly derived from lanolin from sheared sheep wool, from which the cholesterol is extracted and exposed to UVB radiation, yielding cholecalciferol. In small quantities, it is very beneficial to humans. I wondered if there was an amount that is excessive and found this discussion of the supplement used as rat and ‘possum killer on Wikipedia:
” Cholecalciferol produces hypercalcemia, which results in systemic calcification of soft tissue, leading to renal failure, cardiac abnormalities, hypertension, CNS depression, and GI upset…. In New Zealand, possums have become a significant pest animal, and cholecalciferol has been used as the active ingredient in lethal gel baits and cereal pellet baits. Kidneys and heart are target organs.”
The deadly dosage is high, but half the dose is lethal if combined with calcium carbonate (limestone). The Institute for Health says 40,000 IU daily is bad news for people over a 3 month period, but 4,000 IU daily is a safe maximum.

[Rum Malarial Fever Treatment 1800s Africa] As for no rum, subsequently the men were allowed two tots a week; Wednesdays and Saturdays were, I think, the days of issue. Less than half a gill (4 ounces) was each man’s share. I am inclined to believe had there been a daily issue of the same quantity of rum it had been better, and the young soldiers might have escaped with less fever.

[Rocketman] The three men equipped with a rigid wing have evolved for 9 minutes alongside 8 alpha jets at an altitude of 4000 feet and a speed of 140 knots. Pretty amazing.  I wonder how these guys land.  I prefer to be in the airplane. Video
This Month at UWFK. Don’t forget tomorrow is UWFK’s annual “Stuff the Bus” celebration at the Hard Rock Cafe in Key West! If you can’t attend, you can still help us by donating here. Link

For eight years now, UWFK has been collecting school supplies for students throughout the Keys. Help us make this year’s drive the most successful ever!



Remove Congressional benefits! Only by experiencing what we experience will there ever be change.

[Not Enough Hate on CT] Your CT has become castrated by the looks of it. We know you have been talked to a while ago by the junta, but when did they cut the other one off? The CT was the life blood of the Keyzers, now no one I know reads your posts or send to you. What’s next? prayers?



Free Computer Power User magazine online now. Link

[Sewers] Miami pumps an average of 243 million gallons per day of partially treated sewage through two open pipes into recreational diver-depth water just 3.6 miles offshore. With verified leaks spewing a cloudy, chunky sewage soup along the way in 13 feet of water where snorkelers hunt lobster. And yet septic tanks are supposedly the big problem with water quality?  underwater video clip
As I understand it, Marathon has at least one plant that overloads so badly during heavy rain that they have to bypass the filters before dumping to the shallow wells with their labyrinth of conduit tunnels to open water. They blamed Galway Bay Trailer Park’s leaky system for the excess flow (To force them to sell out to a new development?).  Their solution, add another huge Singh resort development  on Knights Key and another forcemain from the new Marriott Hotel to the plant load. The Cudjoe plant is already illegally permitted by DEP to collect over a third more than it is designed to treat, and has experienced a doubled flow during rainy days. Small wonder that both top engineers at FKAA quit together and scurried back to the mainland with bags of money, fat FRS Pensions and continuing medical insurance.
Central sewers were always about higher density development and the toilet tax wastewater fee. With some misinformation propaganda, even environmentalists will support the public fraud. And they generally do.
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