The un-social media since 2002 with 60,000 followers.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.
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| (Editor: I just lost today’s Coconut Telegraph and the politics section. I’m upgrading to a much better server plan and they said it would take 24 hours. I was on tech support 2 1/2 hours Monday, 2 hrs Thursday, and 1 1/2 hours today trying to get it to work properly. I don’t know what to tell you folks and there’s no way I could express my frustration after al this. Today I spent 3 hours putting together Fridays site. Boo hoo. And people ask me why i drink!
I’ll try to reconstruct it as best I can: |
 (Editor: This is why l hatecomputers. 2 “/2 hours on tech support Monday, 2 hours on tech support Thursday, 1 hour on tech support Friday. All it got me is another upgrade in fees. When lstarted hosting was $20 a month now its $200 a month. GoDaddy promised me that all my website problems will be over. Somehow, l don’t believe them as they always seem to be able to squeeze more money from me. Deer viewers, If you should get a warning that the site is not safe, just bypass it as the site is migrating to a new improved site and the security certificate [SSL] is in flux for the next 24 hours.) |
| [Tired of ‘Tipflation‘] If you feel like you’re being asked to tip practically everywhere these days, you’re not alone. In addition to the traditional venues — restaurants, barber shops, cabs — customers are being prompted to tip everywhere from convenience store counters to self-checkout kiosks at airports. Etiquette experts such as Thomas Farley — also known as Mister Manners — are calling the phenomenon “fipflaflonT “People are really feeling imposed upon,” Farley says. “We’re already living through inflationary times. Everything is crazy expensive. And on top of that, you’re being asked, every time you turn around, ‘How much would you like to tip?’ It feels pushy, it feels needy and almost every customer I speak with says, ‘Why aren’t businesses just paying people more?’” It’s a good question, but don’t hold your breath for an answer. Rather, take solace in the knowledge that there are still scenarios where etiquette experts say a tip is not required — even if you’re presented with a tablet that asks for one. |
 [Machines] Avocado-pitting, cutting, and – scooping robot. The prototype machine reportedly helps workers cut the time it takes to make guac by half. Video |
| [How to Keep it All] If you win the lottery for a Billion Dollars, automatically hide the ticket, then go to a government offlce and start a religion called The Church of the Holly Christian Orthodox Judaism Muslim Buddhism Sun Worshippers, International. Deposit the Ticket in the Vegas National Bank and get a Unlimited Credit Card and let the “Bank” keep the interest! Then go bank-ruptured in 10 minutes. |
[Shark Week on Nafional Geographic] Nurse sharks do bite if a human is messing with thenfood supply. They are territorial. Been there and witnessed it. |
| “Plant Based” is the newest meaningless marketing term used to dupe people who know very little about nutrition but who “kinda-sorta” want to eat better. Some things that are plant based: sugar, vegetable oils, flour, kid cereals, Jack Daniels, cocaine, heroin |
Wildlife Petting Chart. |
| [Blackness] |’m fed up with the media trying to convert me to be Black. What do you see when you turn on the television? Black commercials, Black propaganda, Black music, Black sports, Black history month, Black lives matter, Black culture, a Black person replacing Abe Lincoln, Black person in Louis |V’s court, Black celebration of Jl.neteenth, Kwanza, the Black national arthem. Why would I want to be associated w’th 13% of the population who see tremselves as perpetual victims. Of the 13% o‘ the population that corporations are targeting, approximately 50.1% are on the government dole. |
 [Plan Ahead] In the 1980s, two of my friends bought an old Bronco together. They were target shooting by the quarry on No Name Key and wanted to put a bullet hole in the door for laughs. Those were the days of smugglers in the Keys. They shot the door, shattering the glass because they forgot that the window was down. So for the rest of the years they owned the Bronco, the passenger door didn’t have a window. In the winter they’d put cardboard in the space |
 [Piracy & Armed Robbery Map for 2023]Kid: “Daddy, when was the first pirate?” Dad: “Well, Son, that was shortly after the second boat was built!” |
| [TV Commercial Of Cat Food] After feeding the owner is cuddling with the cat. Well, I’m allergic to cats, and I get all itchy just watching the commercial |
 Quan Yin is the bodhisattva of great compassion. A bodhisattva is a human being that has made a vow to dedicate all of their lifetimes to the enlightenment of all humankind. Bodhisattvas continue to reincarnate and return to the world to help guide others to enlightenment. |
| [“Powerbal] “Why waste your money and time”] Because somebody has to win and it might be you! |
 [Captain Doom and Gloom] USA is the Titanic and it just hit the iceberg. Wish more humans got this right! We are not going to make it simply because the fools put greed before reason and stability! |
| I was born a Cisgender white Male. In other words, normal not delusional. I am tired of being groomed into something that I don’t want to be. |
 [“Prayer aids”] The prayer wheel, Tibetans spin is a mani chos ‘khor. In Tibetan Buddhism, a mechanical device the use of which is equivalent to the recitation of a mantra. 00OO0oOOO00mmmm |
| [Friday Joke] A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, “I hope you die a long, slow, painful death.” He turned around and said, “So, you want me to stay?” |
Ear cleaner with a built-in camera for only $35. |
| [Pre-Google] How did we look things up between Webster’s Unabridged & Google? There were several sites, but I can’t recall what they were. One was Dog Pile, but I d0n’t think I ever used it. None of them were very accurate. You’d search for sofas and get Paris vacations! |
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On this National Tattoo Day, |’m reminded of a girl I dated in college that had the most realistic tattoo I have ever seen. It was a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh and when you put your ear to it, you could smell the ocean. |
| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 7/21/23 at 9:30 am. |