2019 April

Friday, April 12, 2019

Letters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

[Former Candidate Speaks Out] To the writer of the post titled Dear Debbie, I would ask you to read up on your candidates in the future, as it is clear you know nothing about me other than the fact that I own a business in District 2, Molly’s Pawn & More. If you had read any of my campaign literature or listened to any of my speeches, you would not have been so ill informed. I will take this opportunity to shed some light on a few issues your post has addressed.
1. No candidate, that I am aware of, said the Commissioner had to be a resident of Big Pine Key. Several candidates, including myself, indicated that the regulations require the candidates to make their primary residence in the district where they are seeking a County Commission seat. So, if you’re going to editorialize, please, at least get your premise correct.
2. One has to wonder why a person who does not make their primary residence in District 2 would run for County Commission to represent that district when the Commission seat in the district where they do live was up for election. Additionally, one has to wonder why a person would go to significant personal expense to “qualify” to run for a Commission seat in a district where they do not live. What is the motive? A thinking person asks these questions, which all too often go unanswered.
3. Let’s move to some conceptual points, starting with the idea of representative government. This concept proposes that in a democratic society people have the right to be represented by someone from their community who understands that community’s strengths, weaknesses, concerns and visions. Someone who lives among them, who is directly affected by the same issues that affect that local electorate. In my view, attempts to circumvent the rights of communities to have fairly elected representation, inherently undermines their best interests and their vision for the future of that community. It spits in the face of true representative government.
4. At-Large Elections. The core underlying issue in Monroe County Commission elections is that the rules for seeking a seat in this specific governing body are different than all of the other elections in which our residents participate. Why is that? Do residents of Big Pine Key or Key Largo vote for Mayor of Key West? Of course not. Why, in the specific case of the Monroe County Commission is it an at-large election, allowing residents making their domicile anywhere in the county to vote for representatives in all 5 districts? Why doesn’t each district get to choose their own representative to, guess what, represent them in the County Commission? This is a question that begs an honest reply. As currently structured, 100% of the registered voters in District 2 could choose a person that they want to represent them on the County Commission yet have their choice overridden by votes from the more densely populated regions of the county. In reality, District 2 gets no direct representation in this governing body because of the rules for this specific election. Why is this? In my view, it effectively allows people who do not live in District 2 to exercise more control over the future development of the Lower Keys. So, in response to the comment, “The lower Keys needs representation with some knowledge of the complexity of the job ahead.” I suggest to you that the Lower Keys needs representation by someone who truly cares about the future of the people and the environment of this area, not just from the most polished, most connected politician. ~Regards, Debbie Halama
[Friday Joke] Cop 1: Anything you say can and will be held against you.
Guy : Titties.
Cop 2: Damn, this guy is good!





[Gnome Addiction] They’re all over the place up here in America. This guy stays inside; he was fifty dollars. Well worth it to express myself.

The next meeting of the Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, April 13, 10 am at the senior center.  Hope to see you there. Full Menu > Ongoing Events
[WordPress Help] Hi, I enjoy the Coconut Telegraph, good stuff, good mix.
I’m VP of Friends of Bahia Honda State Park and have been trying to improve our website with a partner who’s become hard to reach. Thanks for the coverage on 4/9. I’ll be returning to Big Pine for 6 months next week. Do you know anyone who could help us develop our site using WordPress? I know how to edit type, but want to do more, like post events and photos. Thank You, Gary n Friends



[Asian Characters] I wonder at those tattoos and logos that use an Asian character and wonder what they mean? probable, “Fl**k you round-eyes!”

[Killing Animals] The article read, “The cougar was put down by conservation officers. “Put down”? Why do we sanitize killing animals? The vicious dog was “euthanized” not killed. “Put to sleep” not gassed? Call a spade a spade. don’t try to soften the act of killing.
[Old A**hole] He’s 75, and off to prison for a tire-slashing spree in Key West. Link


[Up In Smoke] Surterra Wellness, 3126 Flagler Ave is the first cannabis dispensary in the Keys. Thery opened quietly a couple of months ago in Key West, and two other companies have plans to follow. Link

[“Leg cramps”] To prevent those horrific leg cramps at night I drink a glass of water before bed and take another little drink every time I wake during the night. I haven’t had one as long as I stick to this routine. I haven’t had restless leg either. Don’t know if it’s the hydration or Luck.



[100 Skills Everyone Should Know] Escaping a sinking car is the number one skill to learn in the Keys. Number 2 is learning to drive drunk. Link

[“Afraid of a word”] Since everyone gets everything they want in Heaven, is Heaven Socialist? And who pays?
[Millionaire Shoplifter] Andrew Lippi who reportedly bought the $8 million Thompson Island in Key West was arrested for alleged Kmart theft. Andrew Lippi, 59, was arrested Saturday on a felony grand theft charge after he allegedly purchased items like coffeemakers and lightbulbs and later returned them to the Kmart with different items in their original packaging. Lippi, who owns a house used during a season of MTV’s “Real World,” bought Thompson Island off Key West last week for $8 million, the Miami Herald and Local 10 News reported.
[R/V Life] For the past few years I wanted to buy an RV, hook it up to my big truck, bring along my 2 pussycats and wander. Usually I jump right in but this time I did my research. Many people are pissed consumers about the junky box on wheels, some of which cost more than their homes. Now I notice how many dilapidated, moldy RVs, 5th wheels, motor homes and travel trailers are sitting in driveways. Last summer I rented a small RV. I was so excited renting it in the middle of winter that I did not notice the RV did not have a bathroom! Instead of going up in equipment, I needed to ensure my skill set. It was hard work cranking it up but was cozy inside despite having to use the public bath rooms. KOAs are bitchin’ and many of the campers are so very nice. They were expensive and the same price as hotel rooms. The rental company specified that if the AC went out – too bad so sad – no discount for you. Thankfully it worked while touring Nashville and Louisville.  I still want a toy hauler, but they are put together with a staple gun and scotch tape and then spend most of their RV days back in the shop where people argue over their warranties, sometimes not honored. Most people cannot fix it themselves & I would need to rent an RV guy?  It would be cool if I could commission one built with my specifics which would include strong locks on everything under and over the carriage, more windows and a nice whirlpool bath tub. There are weak locks or no locks, where a bad guy could steal your generator, hoses and cranks.  A small Viking range secured with a strong lock outside would also be a nice touch. Boondocking (remote private camping) would be awesome in nature with the stars. But bring your guns!  When asking folks how they like their RV experience 1 in 10 seemed to be happy campers.
[“No one understands Brexit”] Brexit is about the United Kingdom’s secession from the European Union.  It’s taking so long because the EU doesn’t want them to leave.  For a better under standing, watch “Brexit the movie”.  It’s on YouTube. Video


[No Electric Tues Evening] How much fun was that little electrical shortage?  Bravo to FKEC for getting us back up and running so quickly.

Captain Doom and Gloom was particularly funny this week. Please encourage him/her to write more often.
Say what you will about Winn-Dixie‘s problems and what a great company Publix is, but I know a couple of things:

  1. Winn-Dixie was one of the corporate heroes after Hurricane Irma.  The were out giving food away the morning after the storm, long before the government or any relief organizations showed up;

2.  The “great” folks at Publix immediately goosed all their prices in the Marathon store when Winn-Dixie could not open after the storm.

[WWII] The greatest pilot we never saw. Link
[“Millionaire shoplifting in Kmart”] I can understand him. I walked out of Strunk Hardware last month without paying for 100′ of wire fencing I had them load on my truck. The knew me and sent me a bill. Link




[Winn Dixie] Weekly ad. Link

Last of WW2 ‘Doolittle Raiders’ Dick Cole dies aged 103. Link
Two Keys elementary school students in hospital after teen gave them Xanax. Link
United Way Fl Keys invites Keys residents to our annual fundraiser, the Derby Brunch, being held on Sunday, April 28, at Lobster Crawl Bar and Grill, MM 70.  Festivities include a buffet featuring Kentucky Derby favorites, games, music, and bottomless Mint Juleps as well as unlimited Bloody Mary and Mimosa bars.

Women should wear their best hat or fascinator to participate in the Derby Hat contest. Bowties and jockey silks are encouraged for those brave enough to dress for the occasion, as costume contests will be held.

Funds raised at the Derby Brunch support Keys residents through the programs of United Way of the Florida Keys and our nonprofit partner agencies.



[Gambosia] I love these little critters. Anything that eats mosquito larvae has to be good!

[“Afraid of a word-example”] Socialism? Will it all be great when all the rich and poor have the same cash flow, the same real estate values, the same expenses, the same medical care, the same clothes, the same foods, the same low rent housing, the same barking pets, then same dozen kids, the same educations, the same everything and the same big brother.