2016 April

Friday, April 22, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

be prepared

[Be Prepared] What are the real plans for the Keys if the sewage plants fail? or the water supply stops? or the bridges get wiped out? How do we all get out and to where? Someone must be thinking of the reality down here.

Johnsons-ad 4.12.2016
Does anyone know which hair salon on Big Pine Norma (formerly at Nadine’s) is working at now? I really like the way she has done my hair and want to make an appointment with her. I’d appreciate learning where she works now.
award 1st cup
[Best Tap Water] The Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority took home the top prize in the Florida Section of the American Water Works Association Region 7 drinking water contest last week in Miami.
[What Happens After You Die] Lots of things happen after you die – they just don’t involve you.


See what you can make from pallets!

[Drug Testing] You didn’t get my point. I joined the consortium years ago and never renewed. I’m joining again because it’s cheaper then $200 for the testing. The whole system is bullshit. What if I’m out of the country when my number comes up? It really chaps my ass that it’s the law to have to go to a facility to provide them with a sample, pay them, and include the results to the Coast Guard for the renewal Application, all because they think I could be doing drugs.
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Bahia Honda State Park will celebrate Earth Day on Saturday, April 23 with free entry from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Live music, arts and crafts, touch tanks, a sandcastle contest, silent auction and kids’ games will be offered. For information. Link

[Marathon INTERNATIONAL Airport] For the first time in decades, international flights will be able to clear U.S. Customs in Marathon, ushering in a new era for the small, regional airport.
[Prince is Dead] The very 1st time I saw Prince on MTV I thought, that little twerp is going to make millions and I’ll have to listen to that slop forever. I was right about one thing.

[We lost Prince] I guess that makes him the artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince.

[Civil War] It wasn’t until April 20, 1865 that word reached Key West that Gen. Robert E. Lee had surrendered to Gen. Ulysses S. Grant on April 9, virtually ending the Civil War. There was a great celebration and the Army fired a 100-gun salute.
yogi meditate levitate


[“Miracles”] Yes they do happen every day. There was a yogi saint who could produce the beautiful fragrance of roses in the palm of his hand if necessary. He didn’t think there was any conscious entity involved. Powerful people make miracles, even sometimes when they don’t want to.

[GMO Bugs] In Wednesday’s Key West Citizen is a report that Mosquito Control Board voted 4-1 to put releasing genetically-modified mosquitoes at basically postage-size Key Haven out to referendum. Republican board member Phil Goodman came over to doing what the will of the public wants. I suppose that arguably is “democracy” in action, but I say is weenie (chicken shit) politics practiced by people who are more worried about what other people think of them and/or being reelected, than they are making hard calls they were elected to make.

I’m hardly a scientist, but I did take a year of statistics in college, and I did handle marketing and advertising for a fairly large company, and perhaps I still have some common sense left, but that’s certainly debatable.

From a pure science standpoint, I simply do not see how releasing genetically-modified Aedes aegypti mosquitoes into such a small area, Key Haven, surrounded by such a large Aedes aegypti mosquito-infested area, the rest of the lower Florida Keys, can determine anything.

The Citizen article reports there might also be a release of genetically-altered female Aedes aegypti mosquitoes, if the referendum passes.

A letter to the editor wandering all over the place, from don’t mess with Mother Nature, to the dangers of chemical sprays, to killing in one way or another all Aedes aegypti mosquitoes here would be a good thing, says Aedes aegypti mosquitoes originated in Africa and maybe came to the Americas on slaver ships. If so, that certainly was people messing with Mother Nature, and she sure had fun with it in the Americas.

trash-plastic_vortexThe ocean is in big trouble. I talked to an officer on my recent cruise to Alaska and he told me there are miles of un-navigable waters south of Alaska towards Hawaii that they cannot take their cruise ships through because of the floating debris that clogs their cooling intakes for the engines. He said you can see miles of plastic bottles and Styrofoam that even glows in the night. It is actually a dead zone for animals too!
Vegas’ 1st “weeding chapel” opens for pot-themed nuptials. Video
[Freaky Mosquitoes] GMO altered material appears everywhere –in your medicine cabinet, food, insulin and other pharmaceuticals. Genetic engineering through bio-technology has been going on since 1972. Genetically altering Mosquitoes have been placed on hold and blocked by the chemical and pesticide industry. Now Key Haven through total ignorance is stating it would rather have toxin pesticides. Side reactions according to the all experts including governmental watchdogs like the FDA and CDC are nil -non-existent and the benefits are potentially enormous. Please Key Haven residents don’t do stupid stuff and block GMO Mosquitoes, an enormous benefit.
acorn spins slowlyIn Athens, Georgia there is a tree, known as the Jackson Oak, that is considered to have legal ownership of itself and the land within an eight foot radius of its trunk. The tree was allegedly given the deed to itself by owner Colonel William Henry Jackson sometime in the early 19th century. The tree currently there was grown from an acorn from the original and is the second to grow in the location and is sometimes referred to as the ‘Son of The Tree That Owns Itself’ (thank God it wasn’t a beech tree).
[Lonely at the Top] The Moorish historians describe Abd-er-Rahmān III in colors that seem hardly consistent with his strong imperious policy: nevertheless, they describe him faithfully as “the mildest and most enlightened sovereign that ever ruled a country. His meekness, his generosity, and his love of justice became proverbial. None of his ancestors ever surpassed him in courage in the field and zeal for religion; he was fond of science, and the patron of the learned, with whom he loved to converse.” Many anecdotes are told of his strict justice and impartiality. After Abd-er-Rahmān III’s death a paper was found in the Khalif’s own handwriting, in which he had carefully noted those days in his long reign which had been free from all sorrow; they numbered only fourteen.

He was an intellectual and fair ruler much loved by the people. When a book was not to be bought at any price, he would have it copied by hand; and sometimes he would even hear of a book which was only in the author’s brain, and would send him a handsome present, and beg him to send the first copy to Cordova. By such means he gathered together no fewer than four hundred thousand books.




[The Prince is Dead, Long Live the Prince!] Prince is dead at 57 in an elevator.

[“If god really has a plan for you then what is the point in praying?”] Many of us pray for the knowledge of God’s will and the power to carry it out.
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[Fruit Bad For You] If you try to eat healthy by including lots of fruit and vegetables in your diet, you may be doing more harm than good. Researchers at the University of North Carolina Neuroscience Center just completed studies involving nearly 300 agricultural chemicals. They found two fungicides in particular, BASF’s “Headline” and Bayer’s “Compass”, to cause serious brain damage in animals. These two have become very popular with farmers and USDA has found residue on spinach, kale, cherry tomatoes, sweet red bell peppers, grapes, and more. The brain tissue damage was similar to that of autism, Alzheimer’s and old age.

This isn’t really news. Some years ago, German and Swiss researchers exposed frogs to normal field concentrations of these chemicals and every single frog was dead within an hour! Do you think the chemical companies care when profits are at stake? Environmental Working Group has published a list of the top 48 fruits & veggies containing high levels of agricultural chemicals. They tested both imported and domestic produce, so blueberries and tomatoes are listed twice in the top 50. They say you are better off with imported blueberries. Better by far is to buy or grow organic. See the surprising EWG list. Link

help wanted door


Coconuts in downtown Big Pine Key has openings for part time bartenders, mornings and afternoons. We will train. If a few days a week fits your life style the ‘NUT is a very nice place to work. Stop by and fill out an application. Coconut is a drug free work place.  ~The “NUT”

Dogs vs Stairs. Video


NAS Key West is one of three potential sites for the drone aircraft to be based.

[Free Admission] Bahia Honda State Park will celebrate Earth Day on Saturday, April 23 with free entry from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Live music, arts and crafts, touch tanks, a sandcastle contest, silent auction and kids’ games will be offered. For information. Link
[“Faith”] Today it’s hard to believe that that out of 939 high school teachers, 16 percent still believe God created man in the last 1,000 years! That is a scary statistic as our calendar reflects the 2000 years since the birth of Christ, and there are a few more thousand years in the old testament before his birth.
good_food_conspiracyGood Food Conspiracy natural food store is celebrating 34 years in business on Earth Day April 22. It’s hard to believe that the time has gone so quickly and that the spirit of our community seems to continue for generations. Since the store opened the little children that visited us are now parents themselves. We have served 4 generations and want to thank everyone for their support and making us part of your family. We are so grateful and hope you will join us in celebration. Thank you from my heart to your heart. Love Rev. Marney

P.S I just found 13 issues of the Mangrove. I am looking for someone with a large format newspaper to scan these newspapers for the next generation. David Press was its founder and writer. They are really funny.

Did you know the voices schizophrenic patients hear are highly influenced by their culture? White patients in Africa and India report hearing playful and friendly voices, US patients typically hear angry and malicious voices. However, patients from Big Pine Key, usually hear belching and gastronomical sounds along with laughter and beer swallowing.



[The Movies] Doesn’t anyone with carpentry skills ever board-up a window in horror movies? They always waste wood and do such a crappy job that the monsters and zombies always get in because of it.

[Prince is Dead] Prince is gone. How long before someone blames it on FKAA, GMO mosquitoes, or another popular conspiracy theory.
Amazon is taking on Netflix and Hulu with a stand-alone video streaming service. Starting Monday, customers can pay $8.99 a month to watch Amazon’s Prime video streaming service.


[History] Did anyone see the article in the NY Times about the Jesuits in 1838 enslaving thousands to work on their plantations in Delaware and Brazil? They would baptize them one day and make slaves of them the next and couldn’t see anything wrong with it. Boy, those Catholics sure are a weird bunch! First it was ther Inquisition, than selling slaves and tlatter helping the Nazis. Link

[“Lionfish bounty program”] Many years ago Turkey decided to offer a scorpion bounty to reduce the infestation in that country. Enterprising Turks began breeding scorpions for the bounty. See? We don’t have a monopoly on idiotic government programs.
semoinole-chased-by-dogs[Second Seminole War] The 1823 Treaty of Moultrie Creek set in motion the removal of the Seminoles. This group, however, had little intention of leaving Florida. Two subsequent treaties did little to alleviate the situation and actually gave a time for hostilities to begin; the date of removal was set for early 1836.

The resulting Second Seminole War was the most costly American Indian war fought by the United States both in men lost and money spent. It lasted seven long and bloody years. The war damaged the reputation of almost every commanding officer to serve in it and helped the cause of the rising abolitionist movement. General Thomas Jesup called it a “Negro War” fought primarily to capture land and runaway slaves.

[Muslim vs Christian] The Moors in Spain built nine hundred public baths, an important feature in all Moslem towns, for among the Mohammedans cleanliness is an essential preparation for any act of prayer or devotion.

The mediaeval Christians forbade washing as a heathen custom, and the monks and nuns boasted of their filthiness, insomuch that a lady saint recorded with pride the fact that up to the age of sixty she had never washed any part of her body, except the tips of her fingers when she was going to take the Mass while dirt was the characteristic of Christian sanctity, the Moslems were careful in the most minute particulars of cleanliness, and dared not approach their God until their bodies were purified.

for sale lady


Sometimes I put a “for sale” sign in my neighbor’s yard and pray the power of suggestion works.

[Fourth Amendment Rights and the DMV] If those in government keep pushing the people like cattle, there will be a stampede like this country has never seen and Martial Law won’t stop it. Enough of the hair-brained ideas these people come up with. We the People want to live our own lives and work to get what we want, but not support all these crappy ideas and free-loaders. Link
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[Prince is Dead] I was having a really bad day until I heard Prince croaked. The planet is more of a man’s world without that thing on it. It’s a Man’s World
yogurt7[Jock Itch And Yeast Infection Remedy] Nasty topic, ladies and gentlemen. I hope your lunch has settled. I learned this trick many years ago from a very pretty, very promiscuous lady with plenty of experience in spite of her youth. Simply massage the affected area with active culture yogurt. The billions of beneficial bacteria overwhelm the itchy fungus/yeast stuff. This generally works much more effectively than the fungicide ointments and is way cheaper. It is messy, but if you do a good job of massaging it in, you will find that it is not such a chore, especially if you have help. You might even decide to go on a preventative maintenance plan! It is okay to leave a coating on.

Genghis Khan (1162- 1277 A.D.) preserved his Mongol horse meat in mare’s milk yogurt rather than lug a refrigerator and generator on his conquests. You too can preserve your meat in this fashion. The Greek yogurt is thickened and easier to contain. Stick with the plain yogurt; it won’t help to try to put the cherry back now. Care for a smoothie? You will never think of them the same again.

[“Name that bird call”] “Whip-poor-will, aka, quail.” I didn’t know we had either of those birds down here. You are probably correct, but I’ve never heard that particular call before. I heard it outside my window at 8:30 pm. I think when birds call out in the night there is something wrong or they’re afraid. (Kudos to Ed for inserting that voice thing on the page so we could hear the call without leaving the CT. I think that might be a first here.) (Ed: Yes it was.)
Ice Cube, Kevin Hart and Conan give a driving lesson. Video


This ‘bikini airline’ is going to create Vietnam’s first female billionaire. Where can I buy stock in this company? Link

[Survival of the Workest] If you want something, pay for it. If you cannot pay for it you do not get it. If you cannot work to get what you want, die off and let people who have self-respect and the guts to work for what they want live! It is quite simple.
[Warning Label] If we were all forced to wear a warning label, what would yours say? Mine would say: Adult supervision required at all times.
weed day 4.20

[Weed Day] April 20th was Weed Day and high time to watch one of these movies. Link

Boy, that Bruce Schmitt sure seems an angry man who hates Marathon’s politicians. No wonder someone tried to kill him!
bill ten Hamilton

I applaud the Hamilton decision – it is on the money.

The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, April 23, 10 am at the senior center.  Hope to see you there. Full Menu > Ongoing Events


[“Name that bird song”] A whippoorwill is a nightjar. A quail is in the pheasant family. A quail, is a very tasty creature. Good luck seeing a whip, in all my time in the north and hearing 1000s of them through the night, I’ve never seen one. Shooting and eating quail is one of the few things I miss about living in the north.

[Crosswalk] Congratulations are in order for Florida department of transportation to get lenses changed on the Key Largo crosswalk from amber to red. And it only took 2 years!
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[No Safety or Beauty Needed] Ever hear the spokesperson for FDOT go on and on about the construction up and down the Keys? Good lord, how the hell did she get that job? Her response to stupid projects? “It’s for safety”. “Oh that?” “That’s for safety”. FDOT has succeeded in turning marathon into Key Largo. I was up there on Monday and any little piece of dirt next to the highway has something planted in it. For what? To be run over repeatedly each time someone leaves their lane?
A woman is like a telephone. They love to be held and talked too, however if you push the wrong button you will be disconnected!


The Better Business Bureau is no longer relevant because of all the rating sites online. The BBB is just another bureaucracy now.

Imagine a world like the Amish live in. No electric, no sewage plants, no water plants, no cars, no power tools, etc. Then again 80% of the planet is like this already except for the spoiled greedy industrial countries. And what are those countries doing to this planet? Yeah right! Something is wrong with this picture and it’s too many people!
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