The un-social media since 2002 with 60,000 followers.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.
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|Deer Editor, Thank you so very much for recognizing “National Purple Heart Day”. It appears that not any of our local publications nor national media published anything about the blood sacrifices and lives lost defending the interests and liberties we enjoy as Americans. It seems that veterans are most valued and prioritized when they advance the profit motives of the military and political industrial complex. Again, my sincerest appreciation for not forgetting.
Blessings & Respect,
|Scuba diver dies while exploring popular shipwreck, a third tragedy in the Florida Keys. Link
Speeding in South Africa.
|[Security] Permanently delete files (for real). Send your trash beyond the point of no return. For Windows, the simple Eraser tool is one of the best, or you can try Recuva, which is billed as a file recovery program but also performs secure deletions. Both free programs work similarly: They overwrite the vacant space on your drive with random data so the original files and folders can’t be brought back. Link
|Stowaways rescued from ship’s rudder after crossing the Atlantic. Nigerian stowaways survive 14-day trip across Atlantic on ship’s rudder, drank ocean water. Video
|[Maui, Hawaii fires] Search for survivors continues as Maui death toll rises to 55 – latest updates. Video
Starting this Saturday Aug. 12 the Computer Club will meet at the Big Pine Library. Stop by this small, informal gathering if you have any questions about your cellphones or computers.
|[Hershey Highway] Does anyone know if Brown University, in Providence R I, has a school of proctology?
[Local Anarchy] Watch the moment a Keys couple linked to Jan. 6 riots get arrested by federal agents. Video
|[Maui] Hurricane-powered wildfires sweep across Maui. Drought conditions and 85 mph winds fan the flames that have killed at least 36 people. Link
Duval Street 1936.
|[Friday Joke] A guy is late for an important meeting. But he can’t find a place to park. In desperation, he begins to pray. “Please Lord, if you help me find a parking stall right now, I promise to go to church every Sunday and never drink vodka again!” A moment later, he sees a beautiful empty spot right next to the entrance. “Never mind. Found one!”
[Teleporter] If science rapidly advances and somehow teleportation becomes available in my lifetime, I will guarantee you my wife will still be late
|[Poop Department] Rare parasites found in 200 million-year-old reptile poop. Even ancient aquatic predators can’t avoid the occasional pest. Link
|[Double Whammy] Texas woman Peggy Jones details horrific injuries from snake AND hawk attack as she mowed her backyard. Jones was first attacked by a snake, only to be swooped on by a hungry hawk moments later as it tried to grab its prey. Video
|[Friday Joke] The poor man asks the rich man, “What are you getting your wife this Christmas?” The rich man replies, “Diamond earrings and a Mercedes.” The poor man asks, “Why are you getting her two gifts?” The rich man says, “Well, if she doesn’t like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them.”
The poor man nods. Then the rich man asks him, “So what are you getting your wife this year?” The poor man thinks about it for a second and replies, “A pair of slippers and a dildo.”
The rich man asks, “Why those two things?” The poor man astutely reponds, “This way, if she doesn’t like the slippers she can go f**k herself.”
The grandkids keep laughing about my memory. They won’t be laughing at Christmas when there’s no eggs under the tree!
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|[Fundraising] Just want to make this clear right now. Unless your kid’s school fundraiser involves beer, bacon, or weed, my household is not interested.
|[Friday Joke] A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.
The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.
The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital.
A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen.
She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.
“Do you have health insurance?” she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, “No health insurance.”
The nun asked, “Do you have money in the bank?” He replied, “No money in the bank.”
Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?” asked the irritated nun.
He said, “I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun”
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, “Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.”
The patient replied, “Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law.”
Luck is where preparation and opportunity meet.
|The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 8/11/23 at 9:30 am.