2021 December

Friday, December 17, 2021

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

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[Christmas Carol Sing-A-Long] Join the Keys Chamber Orchestra for a Christmas Caroling Concert on Sunday, December 19 from 4:00 – 5:00 PM on the lawn of the Big Pine United Methodist Church.  Bring a beach chair or blanket and help us celebrate the Christmas Season with music and cookies.  ~Sponsored by Winn Dixie and Centennial Bank

[Censorship] China has the will to censor its social media and it does. They keep a tight reign on social media. Facebook has the same ability to censor its social media but it doesn’t have the will. Congress must make them. Greed runs Facebook. Facebook needs to be censored.


Americans die one a minute from Covid because people won’t get vaccinated.

[Helen Chapman] I think Helen was Buffett’s “Woman Gone Crazy On Caroline Street”. Helen was a famous lush from the Anchor Inn, The Midget, Tony’s, The Bull, and most other old town bars. I lived in old town and woke up one morning to find her asleep on my couch. That was weird. I only knew her to say hello inside a bar. That’s what you get when you forget to lock your door in old town.
Woman Goin’ Crazy On Caroline Street – Jimmy Buffett
The Wounded Warrior Bicycle Ride will be taking place January 7th. All are welcome to greet these Wounded Warriors as they depart from their buses and prepare for their bicycle ride through the Keys on January 7th, 2022 at 8AM, in front of the Upper Keys VFW Post 10211, located at Mile Marker 102 Oceanside, next to KLI. Some of these severely injured combatants could use your uplifting thoughts and encouragement, as they ready themselves for the ride ahead.

If your unable to say Hi to them at the VFW Post, perhaps you can keep abreast of their travels as they ride from the VFW Post to Coral Shores High School; maybe even giving them a wave as they travel Southbound on US1 to their destination. Or you may consider, greeting and meeting them personally at their first rest stop in front of the Coral Shores high school. This has always been an extraordinarily inspiring experience for everyone involved.

We thank you so very much for the enthusiastic tribute and gratitude that you’ve demonstrated towards these disabled veterans. Your support of this therapeutic event over the last 15 years, has brought enormous healing, hope and comfort into the lives of these combat wounded veterans. ~Thank you, John Donnelly

[Friday Joke] Rushing up to a large airline’s ticket counter, a man gasped, “Miss, please help me. I have to get to Chicago in the worst way!”
The clerk calmly pointed to her left and said, “Sir, that would be the airline next to us.”

Child tax credits
have expired. Our government has been paying mothers $300 a year to have children. If mothers can’t afford children—don’t have them. Don’t put the burden on the rest of us.
[Light Pollution] Was there a law passed that said people have to turn off outside lights after 8 or 9 pm so their neighbors can get some sleep? If not, there damn well should be a law!
Italian Sausage and Peppers
1 tablespoon olive oil
5 links sweet or hot Italian sausages, casings on
1 tablespoon butter
1 large yellow sweet onion, sliced
1 red bell pepper, deseeded and sliced
1 green bell pepper, deseeded and sliced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup chicken broth
1 (14-ounce) can diced tomatoes, drained
In a large skillet over medium heat on the stove-top, heat the olive oil.
Once the olive oil is heated, brown the sausages, careful not to cook them completely. Once the sausages have a good brown crust on both sides, remove them from the skillet and set them aside to cool slightly.
Slice the sausage into 2-inch slices once they’ve cooled slightly.
In the same pan, melt the butter. Once the butter is melted, add the onion and bell peppers to the pan and cook until slightly softened.
Add the garlic, oregano, basil, salt, chicken broth, and diced tomatoes.
Return the sausage back to the pan and cook until the sausage is done. Cover for 5 minutes. Serve hot.


Plan ahead.

[The 10-minute Eviction] Lennie McCloskey has removed more than 20,000 tenants from their homes with eviction orders over the past 20 years. In the post-pandemic return to normal, his work has become more relentless and unpredictable. Link

Are there any contractors in the Keys that don’t wear an eye patch and carry a rusty sword? Trying to get something done down here is nuts. Who the hell thinks they are worth $50+ an hour? Suggestions please?
[Ponzi] I don’t know which is funnier, the fact that the poster has no idea (10/22/21) of what a Ponzi scheme is, or that the fact that he doesn’t know how to spell Ponzi


A Pink Floyd Christmas.

[Conundrum] Something that is puzzling or confusing.
Here are a few Conundrums in the United States of America:
America is capitalist and greedy – Yet half of the population is subsidized.
Half of the population is subsidized – Yet they think they are victims.
They think they are victims – Yet their representatives run the government.
Their representatives run the government – Yet the poor keep getting poorer.
The poor keep getting poorer – Yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about.


Bruce Springsteen sells his entire music catalogue for $500m. Link

Be careful buying fresh fruit and veggies. We got some and they turned moldy in two days.
[Friday Joke] “Dr. Geezer’s Clinic” Get your treatment for $500 – if not cured, get back $1,000.
Mr Young , who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr Geezer’s clinic.
Mr Young : ” Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?”
Dr. Geezer : “Nurse, please bring medicine from the box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.
Mr Young : ‘Aaagh! — This is Gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer : “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.
Mr Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Mr Young : “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything”
Dr. Geezer : “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth”.
Mr Young : “Oh, no you don’t — that is Gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer : “Congratulations ! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500”.
Mr Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Mr Young : “My eyesight has become weak —- I can hardly see anything!”
Dr. Geezer : “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so, here’s your $1000 back” (giving him a $10 bill).
Mr Young : “But this is only $10!”
Dr. Geezer : “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.


Redneck carpentry.

[Becoming Fascist] Stop this recent retail smash and grab activity. No cash bail, DAs who are soft on crime, defund police, progressive leaders. My solution for the problem is: throw the f**kers in jail and use deadly force. Bullets are cheap compared to incarceration.  Possibly those low life’s will get the message that crime doesn’t pay.
[Crooks] Man finds Apple AirTag tracker on his car. “It’s a 392 Scat Pack 2018 Charger,” said owner John Nelson.  And it goes fast. Dodge products like that are hot – making them targets for thieves.  A pack of 4 Apple Air Tag trackers are only a hundred bucks.
So what should drivers do to protect themselves? Park their car inside a locked garage. Use a steering wheel lockInstall a data port lock in order to prevent thieves from accessing it and reprogram the car keys. Use a quality video surveillance system. Inspect a vehicle regularly. Link
[Grumpy Old Man] My cable has been shut off due to racial programming and multi-commercialism.
On grocery shopping day I walk almost into the store after searching for a coveted park space. Walk in, forgot mask. Walk back to auto. Near auto, someone’s alarm is going off full tilt. Lights and horn, get mask. Walk into store. Looking for scallions and other items. Find a small bunch for .78 per pound. Proceed to checkout.
Cashier asks me why I didn’t buy the big bunch for .78? I tell her I’ll go get a big bunch. I get the onions, there’s a line of folks behind my cash register all angry with me. Cashier tells me her cash drawer is locked because I took too long. She gets that resolved, I pay, and thankfully leave. Very unhappy shoppers behind me. Out to parking lot, car alarm is still screaming.
All this to shop on the mainland and save a few bucks.
[Man Supremacist] Why haven’t we heard of guys suing women for sexual stuff? Seems the lawyers along with the media are making gobs of money on some woman’s word. Time to get control of this planet back, MEN!
[Hell of a Ride] There I was just swimming around when suddenly I was captured with many of my fish buddies in a cast net. We were then put in a big fiberglass swimming pool-type thing. We were all saying “WTF?”
Later we were taken for a fast ride in the pool. Then this dude in farmer coveralls gives me a piercing right next to my dorsal fin with a big-ass hook and cast me about 50 ft into Pine Channel. I was immediately swallowed whole by a jack fish. Just when I think I’m done for, a big-ass barracuda bites the jack fish in half right in front of my nose! Then this farmer dude hauls me back in the swimming pool and removes me from the jack fish and removes the hook from my back and releases me back into Pine Channel. What a scary ride. Merry Christmas
Here’s a novel idea for Wisteria Island, aka Xmas tree island. Clean it up, get rides, and make it a Disney Land. You already have a Disney World on Duval St after 10 pm.

[Tornado Horror] The footage shows the aftermath of the deadly tornado in Mayfield, Ky. Full story and 5 videos within this link. (Scroll down after each video). Video

Tuesday’s CT was the best in a long while, great links and very humorous like it used to be. (Ed: Thanks. More people are sending in more posts. ‘Tis the season!)
[Bouncy Castle Blows Away]  Australia mourns ‘terrible tragedy’ after children killed. The children fell about 32ft after a wind blew the castle skywards at a Tasmania school fair on Thursday. 4 children were killed and three other children remained in a critical condition on Friday. Video


[Bomb Dropped] The Homestead Air Reserve Base was evacuated Wednesday night after a 500-pound bomb fell off an F-16 fighter jet while it was still on the ground. No boom. Link

[Words Should Matter] Whoever incites, sets on foot, assists, or engages in any rebellion or insurrection against the authority of the United States or the laws thereof, or gives aid or comfort thereto, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than ten years, or both; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States. 18 U.S. Code § 2383 – Rebellion or insurrection
[Crazy Times] Restaurant receptionist: Hello.
You: Table for two please.
Receptionist: Do you and your date have proof of vaccination?
You: Before that, you can tell us who will attend?
Receptionist: Yes Anderson will be your attendant today.
You: That’s great! Can you show us Anderson’s proof of vaccination?
Receptionist: Hmmm…
You: And could you also provide us with proof that Anderson does not carry HIV, Hepatitis A or B or any other transmissible illness? Oh sure the same applies to you and the kitchen staff.
Receptionist: Hmmm…
You: Also, we’d rather not be attended to by someone who uses recreational drugs like marijuana, cocaine, ecstasy, meth etc. So could you provide us with Anderson’s latest toxicology exam? Actually, I’d like to see every employee’s medical history.
Receptionist: Well, let me call the manager for you
You: That would be great. Thank you. And make sure he brings his medical history and vaccination card please.

[Self-Doubt] I don’t even believe myself when I say I’m only going to have one beer. Well, time to harness up the deer. Maybe, one for the road.