2016 December

Friday, December 23, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

[“Boycott Shell”] I for one do not consider it boycotting, I consider it spending my money wisely.  I simply wait until my vehicles are low on gas then travel to Marathon where I can save over $.40 a gallon on fuel. My Wynn Dixie points are just as eagerly accepted at either of the Marathon Shell stations.  Even in Marathon the Shell stations are the same price, or lower than even Valero.  I not only fill up the truck, but also fill my Jerry cans with enough extra fuel to keep me going until I need to run a Marathon errand again.  We use about 100 gallons a month just in fuel for the land vehicles. For my boats, I buy locally on the water. That is a savings of about $1,200 a year.

You cannot convince me that the fuel trucks charge more than a few cents a gallon to deliver to this side of the bridge, and operating costs are the same here as in Marathon. The local operators think that we need them. I for one do not.




[“Aloe”] They weren’t talking about aloe. They were talking about the century plant. It has all those things described. It makes a great sewing kit and I believe they can make tequila out of it.

My retirement plan hinges entirely on one of my kids being successful.
glass-of-water-blob[Holiday Stress] The absolute weight of a glass of water doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in m arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.

That’s the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it up again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden – holding stress longer and better each time we practice. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Pick them up again tomorrow if you must.  Have a very Merry Christmas!
~Coconuts Bar & Package Store, down town Big Pine Key

[Fisherman’s Convenient Care Facility] Dan, at the center, probably saved my life, or at least my present old face. Our dog tripped me into a head first coral driveway dive. I cleaned up my face and laughed it off. Three days later my forehead and face were completely infected. Long story short, I ended up being really bad staph infected. Without being graphic, Dan did exactly what had to be done to diagnose, treat and stop what was only hours away from a chopper ride to Miami. After moving to BPK five years back we’ve only heard bad news about anything to do with Fisherman’s health facilities. That’s not true.
[“Tacos – hard or soft”] I would go with the soft. The hard shells are deep fried and full of fat.
monkey on back


[W. Virginia Hooked on Downers] Drug wholesalers shipped 780 million hydrocodone and oxycodone pills to West Virginia in just six years, a period when 1,728 people fatally overdosed on these two painkillers. Link

[Doomed Reef] There has been widespread coral disease from the Upper Keys to Miami. There are a series of different strains of diseases including white plague, white band and a disease some coral biologists are calling white “blotch”.


If the baby Jesus was born today. Merry Christmas Florida Keys.  May  Peace find you & yours this New Year!

Gas prices are way higher than in Marathon.” Yep!
“I brought down an antenna but still can’t get any TV stations from the mainland. “Yep!
“There’s always a backup at the traffic light.” Yep!
“Is there water all the way around the island?” Yep!
Full Menu > Stupid Tourist Questions
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[Harris Poll Dead] Key Wester Lou Harris, pollster for presidents and others officeholders, dies at 95. Link



Santa was spotted on Duval Street!

I want to buy a new work truck. Is there a certain month that they are cheaper and dealers are likely to give me a better price? Any other tips?
[“Downers”] A pharmacy in W. Virginia, in a small town of only 400 people, has sold 9,000,000 OxyContin pills in two years!


[“Name that duck”] Those ducks are actually Gallinule ducks or known in the south as “water chicken”.  Those long toes are for walking on water lilies.

Obamacare seems to be holding its own. 6.4 million people have enrolled for subsidized private coverage through, ahead of last year’s pace. Despite rising premiums, dwindling insurers, and the Republican vow to repeal President Barack Obama’s health care law, about 400,000 more people signed up through Monday than for a comparable period in 2015. What’s particularly troubling is that coral disease has persisted and continued to spread since 2014, including multiple diseases impacting at least 18 species of coral.

More than 33,000 jobs in the Florida Keys are supported by ocean recreation and tourism, accounting for 58 percent of the local economy and $2.3 billion in annual sales.

deer-abby-wreathU.S. Fish & Wildlife Service plans to collar 30 female Key deer to track them and make sure they don’t succumb to screwworms. The females will be most vulnerable to screwworms in the coming months as they will be giving birth, and the screwworms, which are maggots, could feed upon their placentas and sexual organs. The primary objective of this effort is to monitor females during the fawning season for screwworm infestations, and if needed, to facilitate the administration of preventative treatments and/or moving them to holding pens.
It isn’t Christmas time unless you push your body to the brink of alcoholism and diabetes.


Santa and the Lilliputians.

[Health] Got intestinal worms? Malaria? Chrohns? Breast cancer? SIBO? Parasites? Try wormwood! Great article here on this medicinal herb. Marnie probably has it on hand it at the Good Food Conspiracy on US1. Link
Save the earth! It’s the only planet with chocolate.
christmas-key-west[Abigail White] Alexis Hopkins ask me to give credit to the artist who created my cover photo. Here you go Alex: Abigail you did a fine job, I will search you & your art out & if I can afford it–own a piece. A very Merry & Blessed Christmas.  Abigail White is the artist of your cover photo. She is a local who lives off her artwork. Please give her the credit due & ask her to use her art if you don’t own it. Or tell others about this wonderful local artist. Link   ~Coconuts Bar & Package Store
[FTR on Zika] The Save Our Skeeter Squad is unrelenting in their dissemination of falsehood.  They are committed to thwarting efforts to kill the mosquito that delivers disease to our community. Their capacity for spreading falsehoods is astonishing.

On December 7th they sent out a press release that stated, in part “The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced that it will not move forward with the controversial release of millions of Genetically Engineered mosquitoes in the community of Key Haven in Monroe County, Florida.”  Here’s another quote from the same press release: “FDA knew it was reckless to approve the release of a novel species without first assessing the potential impacts. The agency didn’t do its homework so the local community spoke up and they had the law on their side.”

Both quotes put forward blatant falsehoods. First:  The absolute fact is that the FDA made no such announcement as recited in the first quote.  Further, the FDA is not the movant in the matter, the actor is The Florida Keys Mosquito Control Authority. There is absolutely nothing stopping the Florida Keys Mosquito Control Authority from going ahead with the Key Haven field trial.  They could start tomorrow.  And I think that they should. The referendum was non-binding and there is no legal constraint to stop the Authority from going forward with the release.  The decision to go forward is solely that of the Authority.  I doubt that they will, because unlike the Anti’s, they speak the truth. The Anti’s lie.

Second: The second quote goes beyond a simple spinning or stretching of truth–it is an absolute lie.   The FONSI issued by the government was released only after a thorough vetting of all the involved science.  There is absolutely no question but the field trial was both legal, safe for the environment, save for human, and fully legal. The Anti’s lie. The Anti’s would have you believe that ZIKA is no longer a threat to our community.

The truth is that it still is with us.  As of yesterday, there were 50 more reported cases of Zika in Florida than on Dec 1.  Now there are at least 9 cases in Monroe.  The progress of the diseases has slowed somewhat.  Probably not because of the hand of man, but probably because of the change in seasons.  The disease remains a scourge to our neighbors to the east and south.  In just a few short months Zika will be on the march with renewed momentum.

The construct of the Anti movement would be comedic were its potential for public harm not so grave.  Think about the major anti groups and their savants.  Most are vocally opposed to genetic engineered foods.  Most receive funding from the huge organic foods industry.

Face it, the Aedes aegypti mosquito is an invasive bug, not a food stuff for the citizens of Monroe County. The mosquito’s sole contribution is spreading disease. Nonetheless, the Anti’s do all in their power to shut down the killing of these mosquitoes by the most safe, efficacious, and economic method available.  Locally the Anti’s are lead by a group of big buck real estate types.



Nationally, one of their biggest voices is cult member, a ball room dancing instructor, and an instructor in the “art” or perhaps “science” of self-levitation. Just like Superman, but in the Lotus position.  Geesh!

If you’re always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.   ~Maya Angelo


Key West

Airbnb says Floridians who rented out their homes to visitors earned collectively $273 million in 2016. Airbnb said Tuesday that around 1.5 million people stayed at homes in Florida this year through Airbnb, and that 32,000 Floridians opened their homes to those guests. The home-sharing company also says it has collected $20 million in sales tax and tourist development tax dollars this year. Monroe County is spending 185,000 to stop locals renting their homes in order to avoid competition with the hotel industry.
A fleet of self-driving Uber cars left for Arizona on Thursday after they were banned from California roads over safety concerns.
[“U.S.S. Grant”] Enemy trains of cars were heard coming in and going out of Corinth constantly. Some of the men who had been engaged in various capacities on railroads before the war claimed that they could tell, by putting their ears to the rail, not only which way the trains were moving but which trains were loaded and which were empty. They said loaded trains had been going out for several days and empty ones coming in. Subsequent events proved the correctness of their judgment.


The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, December 24, 10 am at the senior center. Merry Christmas to all!

Plastic rice smuggled into Nigeria is typical of the sick people growing in number on our planet who will do anything to make money. These crazy people should be taken “fishing”! Link
[Loosing Freedom of Speech]  A new law could enable it. Included in this year’s Defense Authorization Bill is language that enables a president to crack down on critics of foreign policy. If they simply claim an organization pushes foreign propaganda, even without evidence, a new task force including the State Department, Pentagon, the CIA, and other federal agencies will move to shut it down.
Last month the Washington Post put out a blacklist of 200 websites, including major outlets like the Drudge Report,, ZeroHedge, and the Institute for Peace and Prosperity, claiming these independent websites are actually agents of a foreign government spreading propaganda in the US. Talk about a wild conspiracy theory! Basically, anyone who criticizes warmongering is a propagandist. That’s nuttier than Grandma’s fruitcake.





Hanukkah starts Saturday evening and menorahs will be lit one candle at a time during the eight days of Hanukkah.

What is the best way to find a fishing guide? I am looking for a back country guide or open water. I am surprised there aren’t any listings in the directory. Business directory > Boats, Kayaks, Charters
Liam Neeson auditions for mall Santa Claus. Video
statue-of-liberty-france[False Advertising] As a successful businessman for over 20 years in the Fl. Keys, I have a business question for the president-elect. The U.S. has the largest and most expensive billboard in the world, namely the Statue of liberty. She states, “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

My question is does building a 17′ wall on our southern border make the lady from France a liar and therefore America guilty of false advertising?

[Pervert] Leonard Arthur Scovel (74) of Key West was charged with two counts of felony lewd and lascivious behavior on a 9 year old girl.
[Faith] You are choking. I have 2 choices.
1. I will perform the Heimlich maneuver
2. I will pray for you.
Which do you want me to do?
betty-brothers-dal-and-suwa-1965Happy 98th birthday Betty Brothers!

Anyone that has been in the Keys for more than twenty years or so, probably knows or knows of Betty Brothers. I spent some time with her today, December 22, on her 98th birthday. She is alive and well in a memory care center in Broward County. This photo shows Betty with her two porpoises, Dal and Suwa, in approximately 1965 on her Little Torch Key property. I’m sure the picture will bring back great memories for many, many people. She is truly a living Keys legend. Merry Christmas everybody!

[“Aztec Cannibals”] The post about cannibalism is very far off base. The true history in Mexico’s Chichen Itza is all about their pyramids and sacrificial butcher shops. They ate everything also. The tour guide had an official book telling the true history. Also, if you read any real history, not the school fiction, you will understand that humanity is not one human family, but nothing but tribal cults only a few short steps from what we call animals.
Carl Sagan wrote “The dumbing down of American is most evident in the slow decay of substantive content in the enormously influential media, the 30 second sound bites (now down to 10 seconds or less), lowest common denominator programming, credulous presentations on pseudoscience and superstition, but especially a kind of celebration of ignorance”   And here we are.
tequila floor

To the person worried about driving US1, and the 26 deaths, just buck up and be a man. Take 2 shots of dark rum and get on the highway. This has always worked for me, though driving in San Francisco took 4

Can the posters tell me if they are having a hard time with their Winn Dixie rewards card for gas at the Shell stations? I am.
[“One human family”] There are some horrible brothers and sisters–not part of my family. I think we need a new motto
AARP’s January 2017 calendar is online. Full Menu > Ongoing Events


[Quit Smoking Free] Happy holidays from your quit smoking partners at Keys AHEC! If you want the gift of  being smoke free, call us today. It’s free!

happy hanukkah3
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