2013 February

Friday, February 22, 2013

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(Saturday February, 23 The Coconut Telegraph is not published on Saturdays)
an_tommy[Death Threat] Geeze, really? Some foolish anti gun (probably a hippy) called me and said he was thinking of shooting me for holding our planned NRA party at Daddy Bones on March 16. Really? You  hate guns, but shooting me is cool? Wow, got anymore of the smoke you’re doing? I can’t afford front page publicity so in the immortal words of Rodney King, “Can’t we all just get along?”

For my friends and folks who take the drive through trafficgeddon thank you for your kind words and support. Bulletin Board 

[Jobs] Doctrine of New Finance. We’ve encouraged managers to measure profitability based on a return on net assets, or return on capital employed. That encourages companies to liberate their capital, so they invest in efficiency innovations, which means they can make more money with fewer resources. Jobs are lost.

What the economy ultimately needs are empowering innovations—like the Model T, the transistor radio. Empowering innovations require long-term investments, which tie up capital for years and years thus creating jobs.

So companies are using capital to create more capital, and consequently the world is awash in capital but the innovations we need to advance and create jobs aren’t there. 


[Bullets] Roughly 10 billion rounds are manufactured in the US each year, with a weight equal to two Titanics. More to the point, it’s enough bullets to pump 32 rounds into every man, woman, and child in America. Is this the America we want? 

[PKC] The first meeting of the PKC (palmetto killing club) will meet tonight at a local exterminator business to elect officers ,eat nachos (while leaving cheese scrapes around for bait) and discuss the most humane way to dispose of Palmetto bugs. all forms of eradication are on the table including assault weapons, chemical, biological, torture, WoMD ,computer viruses ,cyber bullying and badmouthing and disliking them on Facebook are all options. 

kindle fire

[Across the Spanish Main] Thanks for this reminder. I love pirate books and I love my Kindle! (Ed: I loved my Kindle too–until it died. I fastened two rubber bands around the outer frame to secure a makeshift stand. The pressure turned it into a paper weight even though the bands weren’t touching the screen) 

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fine-woodworking-ad 1.7.13
“Nietzsche is dead”  ~God 



St Paddy’s Day 5K Run benefiting the Big Pine Academy. Saturday, March 16, 2013
8:00 AM Bulletin Board

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. 



[“Chinese coin”] Cindy’s Discounts at the Flea Market gives them away when you buy something or even if you just ask her for one. 

Want a job making $174,000 a year with 239 vacation days and guaranteed healthcare? Run for Congress.
New Show Studios. Have an idea for a new TV show?  Coconut Telegraph Housewives? Link


Yard Sale at Lower Keys Property Assn. Saturday. This is a big one. Tons of stuff and good food too.. Beginning 8 am Saturday until noon. Turn right just before the No Name Key bridge. Classified Ads 

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[“Chinese coin”] It’s a Chinese charm coin of recent issue and of no historical value. If it was worn down with less than perfect shapes, then it might be worth something.

Springers-Prime-Rib00     Doerfels-at-Springers

Prime Rib Dinner    Live Music


Jane Fonda, now 74 and in her self-described “third act,” is clear-eyed, focused, fit, relaxed and busier than ever. “I don’t know if ‘exciting’ is the right word. I am happy, peaceful, content, balanced. Believe it or not, it’s just age. I wrote a book that came out called Prime Time, and one of the things that I discovered in my research, who knew, most people over 50, I don’t know if happy is the right word, but they are at peace. It is like, been there, done that. Been through a crisis. It didn’t kill me, I can do this. You know what you need to know and what you can let go. And knowing what to overlook is part of what wisdom is. While it’s not automatic that as you get older, you get wiser, it tends to be the case.”

When she made the decision to become a Christian it was within the context of Evangelical Christian friendships, such as Vineyard. 

an_chest_gold (2)[Neugent named to BP money panel] When it comes time to allocate Florida’s share of the BP Deepwater Horizon settlements, Monroe County Mayor George Neugent will play a large role. Link 
(?)live on bpk, went to key west for first time during rush.From the size of the backup I am surprised any politition is still alive !! 


Is there a Jimmy Buffett Day?

Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it. 

an violin

[Violin] What is the difference between a violin and a fiddle? A violin is associated with culture and  a fiddle is associated with agriculture. 

The less you care the happier you’ll be. 
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[Jane Fonda] Where I lived in Montana Ted Turner had a ranch south of Bozeman and when Hanoi Jane and Ted were still married, many establishments refused to serve her.

bitch.photo_I knew Monroe County Public Works people were lazy – now I know they’re stupid too. At the Middle Torch and Dorn Road intersection, an elementary school bus stop, they found it necessary to spray-paint the word Bitch! on the asphalt above their elevation survey number. Somebody should look into this county employee’s mental health before he really snaps. Anger issues like this, un-addressed, are the reason there is a national gun-debate going on today.

Who in Monroe County Public Works Department hired these people? This incident is, quite literally, the definition of “road-rage.”

[Tact] A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands. The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware her dining companion had disappeared. The waitress, thinking this was a bit risqué behavior that might offend other diners, went over to the table and tactfully, began by saying to the woman,

“Pardon me, ma’am , but I think your husband just slid under the table.”
The woman calmly looked up at her and said, “No, he didn’t. He just walked in the door.” 

an_breath cold

Winter recipes so you lucky Fl Keys people remember it is winter! Link 

[“Traps cats and introduces them to their new home behind Publix”] I tried this with a few NJ honeys but they wouldn’t get out of my truck- they said the dumpster area behind the Marathon Publix looked and smelled too much like home. Now I have to feed them and I am going broke.
Illegal Alien Facts
More than 43% of all Food Stamps are given to illegals.
95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles for illegals.
Less than 2% of illegals are picking crops, but41% are onwelfare.
More than 66% of all births in Califoria are to illegals on Med-Cal. paid by the US taxpayer
Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties in U.S. are illegals.
More than 39% of California students grades 1-12 are illegals.
75% of LA’s Most Wanted are illegals.
More than half of all gang members are illegals.
US companies using illegals in 2005 profited over 236 trillion dollars.
US Taxpayers are footing the bill for all illegals 



North Korea. A land of bots.

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[More bar wisdom] I’m going on a date with a girl I met online. She had better look like her profile photo, or else she’s buying me drinks until she does.

Help Green a K-12 School in the Keys! Link
an_House_burglar_2[Stolen Phone or Laptop] Prey will not only triangulate your computer’s location using GPS or nearby Wi-Fi hotspots, it can also make a list of the thief’s activity or snap a photo of his or her face using the webcam. You can also set off alarms and show an onscreen message telling the thief to return your laptop. And your protection doesn’t end there. Prey will tell you all about the thief’s activity on your computer, hide your email data, and will scan your hardware to make sure everything is in its place. Use Prey to lock down your data and hide your passwords too. This is free and you can’t buy a better utility. Link 
[Peary Court developers] This attempted end run by Southest Housing around the Audlin court and lack of public input to the legislature is a foolish idea that will backfire on the Legislature either way it goes. Better to let the court decide the Balfour Beatty tax issue in the open – not through the corporate lobbyists and legislators who don’t ask us what we think or do the real homework on the issue. I listened on US1 Radio Magazine this morning to both Holly Raschein , state rep, and Scott Russell, property appraiser, and came away thinking that Mr. Russell had a much better understanding of the issues and will stick to his principles and not sell us out. 
an_policeofficer_ticketThese are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos.
1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”
2. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”
3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”
4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.” (LOVE IT)
6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?” 

7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”
8. “Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.” 

9. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?” 

10. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.” 

11. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.” 

12. “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.” (National Crime Information Center )
13. “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”
14. “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.” 

15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.” 

16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.” 




Fanci Seafood is making their delicious Stone Crab Cakes.

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Maple Sausage Pancake Muffin recipe. Link
[Things go better with coke] For you Piners out there, how many eight balls would fit in a teaspoon?


Send in your smile to be on a Yoko Ono film. Link 

[“Chinese Coin”] I have some Japanese coins that look like that.  Couldn’t tell you the denomination.  I’ve been told they quit making them with the hole in the middle so maybe it’s fairly old. 



Jane Fonda on the NVA anti-aircraft gun. 

[Traps cats and raccoons”]  Alas a new troller is among us.
FIRM studies Citizens’ rates. Link

an life jacket rotate


Nautical Flea Market on Plantation Key. Feb. 23 & 24th MM 87. Bulletin Board

[iGate] Druckemiller to plead, ask for mercy. Link



Tippy is a female mixed breed stolen from Safe Harbor Animal Rescue of the Keys on the evening of 2/20.  If you have any information on Tippy please call 305-743-4800 or 305-394-7806  Classified Ads > Lost and Found 

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Obama is the blame for everything bad in the world. Bush is to be credited for everything good. 
FTR, you’re like a broken record or noisy parrot with your constant “Obama is the reason for gas prices rising” You really need to read your Part 2 post on Thursday. Your senility is really messing with your head! Logic is not your forte. 
[Dow Jones] The gentleman did a fine job attempting to explain a very legitimate point on the advance of the Dow Jones, alas however as I have said before on these sites, it is like trying to teach Sanskrit to a lizard, chances are the poster from the left just smiled at your explanation as the message was way above his learning curve and continued posting his cute one liners attempting to impress his fellow liberal posters with his deep understanding of the way the Gov. operates.

One could also tell the person that the Dow gets a boost when an American company operating in a foreign country makes a big profit on items made and bought in that country resulting in much more anemic benefit to this country, however it still gives the Dow or whatever American exchange it is listed under a boost.

[Editing] State Dept. erases ‘Muslim,’ ‘Islam’ From 2,000 page terror memo. Link
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chicago22[Perhaps the U.S. should pull out of Chicago] Body count: In the last six months  292 killed (murdered) in Chicago. 221 killed in Iraq AND Chicago has one  of the strictest gun laws in the entire US. President: Barack Hussein Obama Senator: Dick Durbin House Representative: Jesse Jackson Jr. Governor: Pat Quinn House leader: Mike Madigan Atty. Gen.: Lisa Madigan (daughter of Mike) Mayor: Rahm Emanuel The leadership in Illinois – all Democrats. Thank you for the combat zone in Chicago . Of course, they’re all blaming each other. Can’t blame Republicans; there aren’t any! Chicago school system rated one of the worst in the country. Can’t blame Republicans; there aren’t any! State pension fund $78 billion in debt, worst in country. Can’t blame Republicans; there aren’t any! Cook County ( Chicago ) sales tax 10.25%  highest in country. Can’t blame Republicans; there aren’t any! This is the political culture that Obama  comes from in Illinois. And he is going to fix Washington politics for us? George Ryan is no longer Governor, he is in the big house. Of course he was replaced by Rob Blajegovitch who is…that’s right, also in the big house. And Representative Jesse Jackson Jr. resigned a couple of weeks ago. That is because he is fighting being sent to…that’s right, the big house. The Land of Lincoln, where our governors make our license plates. But you know what?  

As long as they keep providing entitlements to the population of Chicago, nothing is going to change, except the state will go broke before the country does. 

FTR why did Bush not count the costs of 2 wars we were fighting 1/2 way around the world in his budgets? Why were you not upset he was in essence releasing fake numbers? We hear about Obama not having a budget, but I would rather have no budget then have someone blow smoke up my keester with billions and billions of dollars not counted in the budget. 
[Obama] Petition urging Congress to impeach President Barack Obama. Link


right only grey

chicken little22The sky is falling. Rapine is nearly upon us. The Huns are at the gate. Hide the women and children. Pestilence, and hunger, and, drought, and locusts, and plague are going to fall on our nation. Our society is doomed. Your meat will go unexamined (heaven forfend), 911 calls will go unanswered, fires won’t be fought, and our children will run loose in the streets because there are no teachers.

Deer Friends, that’s what the Democrats want you to believe will happen on March 1st. The first day of sequestration. Deer Friends, that is all pure, super distilled, 110 octane donkey dung. You might be inclined to believe some or all of the above. If you do you’re being gulled.
You and yours really should check out the CBO’s numbers.

The CBO’s study of the impact of sequestration revealed that the $85 billion so-called spending cut is actually budget authority, not budget outlays. According to the CBO, budget outlays will come down by $44 billion, or one quarter of 1 percent of gross domestic product (GDP is $15.8 trillion). What’s more, that $44 billion outlay reduction is only 1.25 percent of the $3.6 trillion government budget. So the actual outlay reduction is only half the budget-authority savings. Let me repeat that: the outlay reduction of sequestration is only 1 ¼% of our government’s budget.

Certainly Obama and his camp know that, so one must wonder why he and his are spreading the massive lie. The answer is simple. Obama has created this entire line of nonsense solely so as to have another tool with which to flog Republicans. It’s a risky gamble. Unless there is some huge hit on March 2nd, and there won’t be, he will have been revealed as a fraud.  Please remember that while Obama and his camp are wailing that the sequestration was the brainchild of the Reps, that simply is not the truth.  Sequestration was fathered by Obama, it was his idea. It was his idea that he and his minions sold to Congress. To the shame of the Reps, we bought into it.  Deer friends I urge you to read the RealClearPolitics article to be found at: Link



Sequestration was conceived in the White House. Then Obama’s top fiscal people were sent by Obama to sell the bundle of joy first to Harry Ried and then to the Republican House leadership. Finally the bill became law when it passed Congress with overwhelming Democrat support, and with a smattering of Republican votes. Obama signed the bill into law. He was so proud of his legislation that he threatened to veto any change in the law. But now, today, Obama is trying to find a way to circumvent the law, and to shift blame.  The more I learn about the law, the better I like it.