2021 February

Friday, February 26, 2021

[History] I used to live in Coral Isle Trailer Park in 1980. I worked for the owner of the park on his lobster boat. He taught me how to dip traps in the old diesel and oil mixture to keep sea worms from eating the wood. Then I’d bait them with Cozy Kitten cat food. He used to buy it buy it by the case. Then we’d go out and drop them; then go and pull them when the time came. It was a great experience. I recall he was a very religious guy. I also saw my share of floating marijuana bales with him, but he would never stop to pick them up.

I lived in a nice 28ft Holiday Rambler trailer I rented from him. That same year I worked on the front line at the Truman Annex for the Mariel boat lift. From April to July Mario Cobo ran the show. I remember when a lot of confiscated shrimp boats were being auctioned off in the Annex for violating President Carter’s deadline to stop the boat lift.
I want to move back to Keys, but I’m at retirement age and it’s so dam expensive. I could have bought the dam Conch house I lived in on Francis Street for 68k in 1985. I remember when 1 acre lots on Big Pine were selling for 5k in the 80s. Then I was an electrician in Key West and wired the Galleon Resort from the ground up. Ocean Key House, 1800 Atlantic until Tony, my boss, went to jail for the Big Pine 29 smuggling caper. I wired the rehab on the Casa Marina Resort and many, many Conch houses. I’m living up north now in Illinois but need to get back home. I have good memories though. I was lucky to live there in the 70s and 80s and did so many things and met so many people. Hell, in 1983 I got drunk with Jim Nabors from his Gomer Pyle days who just happened to walk in for a drink at the beach bar at the Pier House. I sat out front the old Red Rooster Hotel in 1976 watching the bi-centennial parade go by too. I think that was around the time of the First Fantasy Fest. One of my fondest memories was many a day sitting and drinking with Mel Fisher at the front bar stools at Ricks Cafe on Duval Street. One day he gave me a silver coin which I still have. I was there at Two Friends Raw Bar with a packed house right after he found the motherload. Silva was on the piano playing Were In The Money

[“Lincoln Road, Miami vs Duval St, Key West”] A couple of weeks ago we had a wanna-be wanting towers built in Key West just like Toronto. This week, they want Duval Street converted to Lincoln Road. I agree with the complaints about Uber, deliveries, electric bikes, golf carts, etc and there’s a one word cause for all of it – tourists! There was no problems back in the day. The problems began when people from other places came down and decided they needed a job to stay in paradise, and the TDC was born. Not only was I run out of the Keys by the carpet baggers,  I had to leave the state! The migrants from the north have ruined the Sunshine State with their attitudes and politics. I thank the lord most of them are not woodsmen who want to move up here.
[Alig ate her] I lived in Big Pine in the mid 80’s. I visited the Blue Hole often but never took a picture of the sign with the “Alig ate her” poem. Do you have a picture of the sign or the words of the poem?  ~John Calkins


The Morning Doves started cooing last week. Is Spring early this year? Audio

[Friday Joke] I was eating breakfast with my I0-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her, “What day is tomorrow?” Without skipping a beat she said, “It’s Presidents Day!” She’s smart, so I asked her, “What does Presidents Day mean?” I was waiting for something about Obama, Bush, or Clinton, etc, but she replied, “Presidents Day is when the President steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow, we have another year of bullshit.”
[Vaccines] How many times are we supposed to register for the shot? I don’t trust the government to notify me (unless I owe it money).
[“Benefits of eating black pepper”] Ironically, my mother wouldn’t eat black pepper because she knew a man who got some black pepper impacted in his pee tube and it caused him terrible problems. I know,  she doesn’t have a pee tube, but that’s my mother for you.
[Friday Joke] Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his first mate, “Bring me my red shirt!”. The first mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, “Bring me my red shirt!”. The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day’s occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, “Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?”. The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, “If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid”. The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, “Bring me my brown pants.


Harris school, Key West. Beautiful structure, sadly is now a parking lot. And it sits in the historic district. Link

It is not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.
[Tourists] It’s 10:30pm and I’m sitting on the porch in Key West watching the world go by. Two tourist ladies go walking by with their must have drinks in hand, every other sentence had an F in it. What absolute trashy tourists.
The Nurse’s Station has opened off US1 on Ships Way on BPK. Congrats to Family Nurse Practitioner Dawn Torquemada.  Dawn has been a Registered Nurse since 1996 and Nurse Practitioner since 2009.  She has spent her entire career in the emergency room and urgent care. Remember her for sick visits,  check ups, fish hook removal, lacerations, wound care, school and sports physicals. Dawn is a certified DOT Medical Examiner. 305.783.5196. I’ve linked to her FB page. Link
Key West’s Truman Waterfront Park is a nice sized dog park. On a recent evening walk, we counted and found more dogs than humans. You need housing on a 5 year lease with a sliding scale for rich and poor alike. Also, little food shops, art shops, maybe even a deli, etc.
And return the 3+ acres that were stole from Bahama Village Redevelopment.


St. Fiacre. Is the patron Saint of hemorrhoids. (All the good sainthoods were already taken. He must have had some hellacious piles! From this picture, It sure looks like he did.)

[Vaccines in Marathon] The College of the Florida Keys and the Florida Department of Health in Monroe County will hold a mass COVID-19 vaccination event on Sunday in Marathon, they have 500 shots. Link
[Friday Joke] Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
[Shark Attack in Fiji] “Lets go on a shark dive,  it will be fun!” A large tiger shark attacked a diver during a dive off the coast of Fiji. Shocking footage of the attack shows the large tiger shark biting the diver in the head. Video
Looking for a parking spot in Key West? Find Howe St. There’s been a red GMC Sonoma parked there for at least a year. Not even a residential parking sticker


“There it is! There’s the evidence Mars once had a lake!”

[Philosophy Department] Am I free to choose who I am?
[Friday Joke] A passenger on a cruise ship heading to Key West spots a bearded man on a small island, shouting and desperately waving his hands. The passenger goes to the captain and asks, “Who is that?” The captain says, “Beats me. Every week when we pass, he goes nuts.
[Quercetin Found to Stimulate New Brain Cells] Lab and animal studies show that quercetin, found in apple peel, helps promote neurogenesis in the hippocampal area of the brain responsible for learning and memory function. Link
There have been a lot of serious car wrecks on the 18-mile stretch the past couple of years. They put that concrete divider years ago to prevent mainland idiots from passing everywhere and causing head-on collisions. How in the world can you get into a wreck now?
[Indoor Plants] Awhile back, a study by NASA said that houseplants improved indoor air quality by removing volatile organic compounds (VOCs). The idea makes sense. But the NASA study was done in sealed chambers under controlled conditions, not real-life conditions. In late 2019, the journal Nature published a study that reviewed this claim.
According to the review, the benefit of houseplants to indoor air quality is insignificant; estimates suggest you’d need up to 10,000 plants per square meter to remove the same amount of VOCs as would be removed through normal building air exchanges. To improve indoor air quality, it’s better to focus on ventilation and source control, including low-VOC paints, furnishings and building materials.
[Big Mistake] Instead of Tiger Woods hiring a caddy for his driver, he should have hired a driver for his Caddy.
[Pee News] I slept 7 straight hours and didn’t get up to pee once! Everyone under 30 is, like, “So what?” but the rest of us have already started building shrines in my honor.
[Covid Rental Assistance] United Way of Collier and the Keys recently announced a partnership with the City of Key West to assist with approximately $250,000 in aid to residents affected by COVID-19. The goal is to keep community members healthy and safe, stabilize households and retain residents here in Key West. The most significant need addressed through this collaboration is providing rental assistance support to our residents.  Currently, $164,000 is available for rental assistance.
[What Could Go Wrong Department] The Keys branch of SOS (Save Our Skeeters) is gearing up again to bray and wail against our Mosquito Control people using genetic modified skeeters to assault and perhaps even eliminate the scourge of the Aedes aegypti mosquito from Monroe County.  Watch for ads, mailouts, calls for protests, etc.

While you are watching and waiting, please think of the utter hypocrisy of many of SOS protestors. Remember that these GM skeeters that will assault our current population of the invasive species, Aedes aegypti mosquito, are the result of genetic manipulation.   THAT, and only that, is what the SOS folks are hysterical about.  They want you to believe that horrible things will happen because of the genetic engineering of these invasive mosquitoes.  They want you to believe in the existence of the mythical, but SOS promoted, dreaded frankenskeeter (boo).

Then marvel at the fact that many, perhaps most, perhaps all of the SOS folks are clamoring to be injected with a vaccine that will protect them from China flu. That vaccine is the product of genetic engineering. The vaccines are products of mRNA technology which is a form of genetic engineering.

[Dollar Store] One good thing you never hear in the Dollar Store, “CAN I GET A PRICE CHECK!” being screamed by a cashier
[The Good Old Days] I remember all this stuff. I was there thru the 70s and 80s. The CT brought back many, many, many places and people I grew up with. The Full Moon Saloon was my late night joint. They would lock the doors at 4am and we’d stay till the sun came up or we’d go to the all-nighter Boca Chica Bar on Stock Island. Five Brothers Cuban grocery on Southard Street with fresh mullet wrapped in the Key West Citizen. The Mascot Bar on Caroline Street was often dangerous. Some nights I barely made it out alive. I worked for Tony Hernandez Plumbing till he got busted with the Big Pine 29. I also worked for Dions Quick Mart on Flagler and Big Coppitt. They had great fried chicken. I used to swim naked in the submarine pits with all the local girls. My girlfriend was Ed Swift and Wilhelmina Harvey’s secretary. God dam right, I miss those days. I miss the dam Sands Beach Club too. Let’s get rid of that rich crowd and reclaim our island and bring back our low flying Mosquito Control DC3s that blasted me out of bed at 7am.