2021 February

Friday, February 5, 2021


my arse! It’s too cold! I want my money back!

Key West, please don’t feed the chickens — or else. City adds stricter language to animal ordinance. This is so stupid. One house in particular has a big bird problem so they enact a city-wide ordinance to protect her. This is not a City problem, it’s her problem.

[“Light pollution”] We are doing a great job at shaming these Yankees over the lighting issues.
[Lottery Idea] Instead of crazy jackpots of 100 or 200 million dollars to a sole winner, why not reduce the total numbers to win? and have 100 or 200, one million dollar winners? It’s all relative, but most folks could get by on a $1,000,000 windfall.
[Friday Joke] My urologist’s office called the other day and explained that my scheduled appointment
would now be done over the phone due to the coronavirus. One hour before the scheduled
teleconference, I was instructed (via email) to administer my own urine test.
This was to avoid those lab tests and costly co-pays that your doctors tell you to get at
Quest Diagnostics, and because they’re shut down too.
Simply go outside and pee on the front lawn.
If ant’s gather: DIABETES.
If you pee on your feet: PROSTATE.
If it smells like a barbecue: CHOLESTEROL.
If your wrist hurts when you shake it: OSTEOARTHRITIS.
If you return to your house with your penis outside your pants: ALZHEIMER’S.
[Cold Wave] I watch tourists swimming during our recent cold wave — yikes! My last stop from Key West is to the Cayman Islands for my remaining years, months, weeks, hours…
[Deliveries] Fed X and  UPS are all on Keys time. I would hate to run a business in Key West and have to rely on either for deliveries.
It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. She’s been leaving jewelry catalogues all over the house so I’ve bought her a magazine rack.


[Keys in Crisis] Tuesday night was so cold I had to wear socks and underwear! Also, I kept the oven on for hours.

[Buying A Listing] Boy, oh boy, my neighboring property in Key West has been for sale by a realtor for almost 3 years. The start price was highly inflated (that’s called buying a listing). It’s still sitting there almost 2 1/2 years later. I sure wish this practice would be stopped.
The Ad for the Galley Grill on Tuesday’s CocoTele spelt Summerland Key as “Summer Land” Did the place sell again? I really miss that place. They always had great service and consistently good food.


[Alcohol Test] Do you see a hole or a hay bale?

[Friday Joke] Earlier today I saw a bumper sticker that read, “I’m a veterinarian therefore I can drive like an animal.” Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the roads.


[Singles Night] I finally hooked up with a great woman I met at a local watering hole Friday. She was the best one in the place so I snapped her right up.

[Life Without Petroleum] This is just part of the story; few people realize how much of their existence is intertwined with hydrocarbon petroleum based products from the paint and finishes in their homes to the synthetics in the clothes they wear, to all the different plastic products they touch every day. Video


Please don’t litter. Littering hurts!

The February AARP calendar of events is here. Full Menu > Ongoing Events
Old people, line up for Florida’s vaccine.  Go to Choose Monroe County > Get In Line.


A Covid test nurse asked if I’ve had a sudden loss of taste.  I told her, “No, I’ve dressed like this for quite a while.” ~ Ruth Buzzi

[Optical Illusion] Food debris on your teeth will draw more attention than any physical defect does. Pay close attention to each scene, tricky Colgate has created a very ingenious advertising campaign to promote their dental floss. But…. before I explain to you the main detail of these images, I will let you observe these photos quietly on your own. Link

… about not using single use plastics.

[“Light pollution by New Yorkers”] Our rude light polluters were from Texas – a far cry from NY. Unfortunately, a-holes are from all states and countries.
[Fishing Guides Lose Boat Ramp] Angler House Marina at Mile Marker 80, bayside, changed hands and the new owners have big plans. But, to the trailering guides who pay about $260 a month to use the Angler House Marina ramp and for parking their trucks and boat trailers, the plans are ill-conceived. At a guides meeting Feb. 1, Stephanie McLaughlin of Safe Harbor Marina said its plans include building dry storage racks to accommodate 70 boats and eliminating the boat ramp. Safe Harbor owns and operates 101 marinas and is the largest marina owner and operator in the country.
Since the majority of guides do not pay for a permanent slip but instead use the ramp and pay $260 a month to put in and remove their boats on an almost daily basis, they were shocked. Link


[Steroids] 2024 women’s US Olympic weightlifting team. We are back on top America.