2013 January

Friday, January 18, 2013

(Saturday, January 19. The Coconut Telegraph is not published on Saturdays)

an webmaster arragant[Editor’s Observations] Most posts begin with “Well” or “So” (that I remove)
Most posts contain an insult I have to remove.
Most posts contain quotation marks although nothing is being quoted.
Most posts have an abundance of capitalized words for emphasis, instead of punctuation.
People don’t read what they write like the fellow who posted how no one liked him because he was an asshole and he seemed to be proud of the fact.
Another poster detailed the steps he would use to cut someone’s throat.
Few people use “I” as if not including themselves separates them from their post, relieving them of responsibility.
There’s one guy who sends in an anti-Obama cartoon every day–nothing else, just one anti-Obama thing.
Some people send in the same classified ad every day, never checking to see that it was posted the first time they sent it.
Everyone has an opinion about gun control, everyone!

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[Gun Debate] There is no debate. The pro gun people haven’t said one rational thing supporting their desire to kill American troops “if the need arises”. Their argument so far is to compare murder with cholesterol and auto accidents. That’s the kind of logic presented so far in favor of an armed and dangerous America. Boo hoo for them.

an_subway[Cheating] Subway, the world’s largest fast food chain with 38,000 locations, is facing widespread criticism after a man who appears to be from Australia posted a photo on the company’s Facebook page of one of its foot long sandwiches next to a tape measure that shows the sub is just 11 inches. More than 100,000 people have “liked” or commented on the photo, which had the caption “Subway pls respond.” Look-alike pictures popped up elsewhere on Facebook. And The New York Post conducted its own investigation. 

[Gun Control] There will never be any control when dealing with minds that think murder by gun is that same as death in a car accident. They’ll never understand that one is intentional and the other is an accident. They don’t know which is which.

Tomorrow is the Key West Seafood Festival. Come on down and say hi to the gang from Fanci Seafood at the fritter stand.

In 2008, NOAA’s Office of National Marine Sanctuaries and the U.S. Army Dive Company joined forces to repair buoy moorings, remove trash from dive sites, and install listening devices to track fish in national marine sanctuaries off Florida and Georgia.  Supported by 130 Army divers, the three week pilot project was underway in Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary.

Now that it’s 2013, has NOAA done anything since.  Maybe SAC can address this?  Not that I’m going to go there and talk at the public comment time.  And it’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I don’t think SAC cares what the public says. 

dummies18I hate that you feel that Daddy Bones BBQ, expressing our rights, are a bad thing. Remember that most of Monroe county is still red state. We are proud of our southern, bible-thumping, gun-toting roots. If you want good BBQ leave your politics at the door and enjoy. Well, except on day of our Pro-Gun Rights Party feel free to come out and debate some of the legal, responsible gun owners that live here. Hell, hit me on a Sunday and I will take you shooting in Big Coppitt at the range. Maybe after few hundred bucks in ammo you will see why us gun owners like shooting so much. And if some low-life tries to hurt me or mine we are trained and prepared to handle problem without asking them to please not hurt us till the police arrive 10- 15 minutes later. A gun is not the problem, it’s crazy mo-fos taking psychotic meds with guns —  that’s the problem! Lock the guns up when not in physical control of them and the crazies can’t get them. But don’t follow our police officers’ example and leave them in unlocked cars and unlocked in your house. Agree to disagree I guess?

Way to go, Daddy Bones! I‘ll fight the construction crap just to give you patriots my business. The anti-self protection and anti-freedom nuts can go to the health food store and eat sprouts. Good job, man.

No one mentioned in Thursday’s Telegraph, the helicopter that was flying extremely low over Port Pine Heights Wednesday night around 10pm. It had a big search light and was unusually loud. Anyone know what this was about?

an_american-cowboyCowboy Logic and Horse Sense

1. Some people grin and bear it. Other people smile and change it

2. The length of a conversation don’t tell nothin’about the size of the intellect

3. “You see, in this world there’s two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.”  ~Clint Eastwood as Blondie in “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

4. I’d like to buy him for what he’s worth, and sell him for what he thinks he is.

5. He’s about as sharp as a mashed potato.

6. Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly

7. The measure of a man is when he does the right thing even when no one is watching

8. Wide open spaces don’t breed no chatterboxes.

9. A halo only needs to drop a few inches to become a noose.

10.The best way to get a cowboy to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

[Gun control]  Based on a report on the front page of today’s Citizen, the Key West police chief and the city commissioners are a little limp in supporting the 2nd Amendment and the Constitution. It’s concerning because the police chief took an oath to protect and defend the Constitution as it is written. Personal beliefs have no place in politics when one has sworn otherwise. If you take the oath to get the job, then “protect and defend” the Constitution as you promised and leave personal beliefs at home. 



[“Assault Rifles to kill American soldiers”]  If revolution comes, there will be those on either side, just as it has happened before.  Likewise with the armed citizenry; some will support freedom, some will back the tyrant.  Likewise with the unarmed citizenry, but they won’t count for much for very long.

[“Make sure that all your concealed permit customers check their guns at the door”]  A good example of “totally missing the point”.


[“The lame argument to keep assault weapons and mega magazines is that someday they might need them to kill American soldiers”] Good point, I just needed to quote this so it shows again how stupid the argument is to keep assault guns legal. 



The Four Agreements is a book by a man named Ruiz. It is Toltec learning and one of the best small books of self improvement one can ever read…over and over. Practice the four agreements  

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[Guns For All] Most of us that believe in the 2nd Amendment are simply wanting the country to stay within the framework on which it was founded. Basically, we want the right to arm ourselves if we feel the need. I have a permit, am not armed all the time but I invite the local thugs to pick the days that I am or am not. I’d rather depend on me to take care of myself and my family than the government (name me one time FEMA or the feds have not effed up something that was already a disaster). Nor am I ready to give my personal security up to a guy who has armed guards around him and his family for life while he deprives me of the right to protect myself. You’re in lala land if you believe the government is here to help you.

Springer’s Bar & Grill is now serving Prime Rib Dinner every Sunday and Wednesday. Our chef will be cooking up a 10 oz cut Prime Rib, that will be served with a salad, biscuit, and a choice of two of our 14 side dishes. All for only $21.95!

Live Music. The Doerfels Bluegrass music 5-7 and Rock 7-9 every Tuesday!



Why I love Key Largo.

Journal News map listed guns, permits stolen from New City home, cops say. This is the second robbery of a home that the liberal media published in NY. They need to arrest the reporter and editor of that paper and charge them. Florida’s gun permit holders are not in the public record, thankfully. Link 



[Sheltie] The breed of dog yesterday who figured out how to pump his own water, was that a Sheltie?  Wouldn’t surprise me, it’s the word’s 6th smartest breed.

This gun debate sure brings out the underlying violence of the gun nuts.

[Sewers] County seeking help to pay for super-lobbyist whose focus will be to secure a $50 million sewer grant. Link

kiii18[Daddy Bones‘ Gun Rights Party] Wow, great idea. Monroe County has the second largest number of gun permit holders in the state. Should be a great turn out even with all the lovey-dovey-let-Obama-protect-me-libs who think Key West is all rainbows and unicorns. That’s not to say everyone at the party will be packing, but you can rest assured there will be no dirt bags among the permit holders. We’ve all submitted our finger prints and gone through background checks to get the permission to carry a gun. A safe group with no felonies, drug or domestic violence convictions. I hope the cool cars show up too, I’m bringing the family! 

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Fla. Python Challenge hunt continues with 21 snakes killed. Link


Someone once told me that I was too nice and that it was because of people like me that society was screwed up.

Whether people might be pro or anti-gun, & I’m friends with both folks, is this really the time to be doing a fundraiser for the NRA? I was under the impression, (from their own reports) that during the weeks post-Newtown Conn. tragedy, their membership actually increased by 250K. It’s not like they need the cash. 

Even though this Daddy Bones BBQ/Gun thing is clearly an event just to openly spite recent talks of adjustments to gun control laws, I just think this is in poor taste– given that the Sandy Hook massacre was barely a month ago. Enjoy celebrating gun culture while families are still mourning. 

fine-woodworking-ad 1.7.13

[America The Dangerous] I wonder how those who think gun control will make things better and will fend off the monsters that crawl out of the mangroves or head south from Miami.  Those who have nothing to fend of the monsters will be the food for them who crawl out of the mangroves because they won’t mess with us who have guns.



[Sign Of The Times] New sign for your front door.

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What is the specific definition of an assault weapon? What, specifically, was banned prior to 2004?  

[Gun Rights Party] Daddy Bones obviously has so much business they aren’t worried about all of the customers they are turning off. They acknowledged such in their prior post (“Hopefully, we won’t piss off too many of our loyal customers”). We will never go to Daddy Bones again (yes, we DID go there). We are not anti-guns, and do own a couple. We are against military grade rifles. The Administration has not proposed illegalizing all guns, so the post by Daddy Bones shows that they are misinformed or just fall into the hype. Bad business move. 

Key Largo Stone Crab & Seafood Festival. Link 

an_hole_cat_claw[“No cats, you got rats”]  Not so. Rats and mice stick to avenues of protection, small exit/entry places, climb rough surfaces and move around on high places where cats can’t easily follow due to their larger size and weight. Rats and mice breed very fast if there is abundant shelter, food and water sources. Our long ago domesticated cats chase them only for recreational sport and perhaps may catch one on the open ground or flat root top, but that’s about it. So despite a dozen, expensive to maintain cats, we still have rats. More so because of the left over cat food crumbs laying around they don’t eat.

[Gun control] Many years ago I visited many countries around the world. I specifically remember countries in Africa, like Morocco, where people would walk around the streets carrying machine guns. Is that the kind of country we want America to be?




 Live Music  —  Prime Rib Dinner


an club to nutsBig Pine & Lower Keys Rotary Club 22nd Annual Al Mueller Memorial Classic Scholarship Golf Tournament Sunday, January 27. For more info Bulleting Board

[Apples and Oranges] It is not a logical comparison in an argument to justify guns by comparing gun deaths to the number of people who die each year from poison or car accidents. We are talking about gun deaths. FTR is either an expert spinner or really doesn’t understand logic. Young children use his type of logic.

A little child who was in trouble for hitting in school might, for example, tell  his mother, “hitting isn’t so bad, mom, more kids get in trouble for kicking, spitting and pushing.” Yes, FTR, poisoning is pretty bad so we have warnings on products and poison control centers set up. Car accidents are also bad so we require seat belts, speed limits, safety  checks. We do what we need to do to try and limit as many deaths as  possible. We live in a modern civil society. We don’t take away all  products with poison and we don’t take away cars.

No one wants to  take away all guns. However, it is time to put some regulations on them for the safety of our citizens. The majority of Americans agree.  Of the people, by the people and for the people. As FTR said in his  posting yesterday, he respects everyone’s opinion. Really? I don’t  think so. He supports whatever views the Republican Party supports.  Not much thinking there!

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bachmann[Nut Nuts] And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle so that man could fight the dinosaurs and the homosexuals ~Michele Bachmann

[More bar wisdom] If alcohol kills germs and laughter is the best medicine, I’m the healthiest person on the planet. 

Will the world act to protect bees from pesticidal “nerve agent“? Link

an_bomb fuse


[“Grill Explodes”] Anyone that lights a grill with the lid down is pretty much asking for it. Lid down equals bomb!

[Gun Control] There will never be any control when dealing with minds that think murder by gun is that same as death in a car accident. They’ll never understand that one is intentional and the other is an accident. They don’t know which is which.

Palm rats are considered an endangered animal and the fines for killing them is pretty hefty. The roof rat is not.



Gun control headed for a: SHOWDOWN–Electric Light Orchestra. Time to dance! Soul Train from the 70s. Dig those threads, man. Link

NOAA’s Marine Debris Program offers funding and technical assistance to encourage local communities to create and run projects that prevent and remove marine debris to benefit coastal habitat, waterways, and NOAA trust resources including local fish. Call them. Key West 305-809-4700, Key Largo Office 305-852-7717 Link 
Preparing & storing the season’s citrus fruit. Link 
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ctfishing[Captain Doom and Gloom] “How come most of the gun nuts are Republican” Not Gun nuts, but gun enthusiasts with our heads out of our butts, realizing why such mechanisms have to be, else all freedoms will not!

Wedlock: The socialized malignancy that captures the manhood of hunters and skewers them with meal tickets called offspring to maintain a food source for ugly women!

How to control the Sheeple: Make no mistake about it.  We are being surreptitiously invaded by a vermin of our own making. When I hear the tone and content of the democratic steering & policy committee hearing today on C-Span, it makes me shudder. Black Muslim congressmen, like Keith Ellison and Chaka Fattah, playing the siren song of disarmament to a grieving group of teachers from Connecticut, go further to undermine the fabric of this society than guns ever will.  They lend fake credence to frightened teachers and local officials while working to erode our freedoms. They lace Martin Luther King and John Kennedy’s death to leverage their position that “guns” are dangerous. We are being played for fools and likely deserve it. Where are the real men of this country when they truly are needed? They are needed on the home front first and foremost.

How much is the Pier House going for? Wow, would not that make the perfect Dizzyland site? Old Town would make millions with all the kiddies and diaper stands along the pier. How about another Drug Store, when Grass is legalized in Florida? Gambling, Bingo, Strip Jacks. Amityville here we come! Jaw this! 




It’s funny, FTR suggesting someone else get a life when he babbles every single day on this site to the people who already agree with him. The sane people tend to read his posts in the same way people stop to listen to the demented homeless guy on the street yelling about the government trying to steal his thoughts. Just a reminder that we know better and “there but for the grace of God…” Maybe he should just take a few days off now and then, sip some bitter MacFeggan scotch, and realize life’s to short to spend complaining.

When Reagan was president and passed the ban on automatic weapons in 1986 his Right went nuts. It’s no different today except the Right has a Democrat to blame. Link

Judge: Govt. must prove Manning wanted to aid the enemy . Support freedom of speech & whistleblowers. Link

right only grey

an_error_replace_userError…error…error…FTR screwed up! Yeah I did–royally. In Fridays posting I stated that the total number of gun related deaths in 2011 was 8,583. That is not accurate; the actual number of gun related deaths was 32,163. Of those deaths, 8583 were murders wherein a gun was the murder weapon. That means that slightly more than only one in four gun death was a homicide. While I misquoted the statistics concerning gun deaths in general vs. gun homicides, my basic argument remains unchanged.  You are more likely to die from an auto accident, or poisoning, or drugs than by a firearm.  Please take note of the fact that while the admin sights in on guns that only look like assault rifles, only a small fraction of rifles even look like assault rifles.

Please consider that while about 32,163 died in a firearm related incident, there were 8583 gun related homicides. Of those, a rifle was the deadly instrument in only about 323 of those murders. Deer Friends, while our liberal friends hyperventilate about assault rifles, only four tenths of one percent had a rifle as the murder weapon.  I beg you, please think about the fact that means all rifles, not just rifles that look like assault rifles.  It is also true that the number of homicides with a rifle has declined for the last past 4 years. It is also true that the number of gun homicides en toto has substantially decreased every year for the past 4 years. The forgoing stats are from the FBI Uniform Crime Report for 2011 and from

It is true that you are more likely to be killed in a tornado than murdered with a rifle (553/323). It is true that there about 270,000,000 guns in civilian hands in the USA, but even with all of those guns only about 1.2% of those guns was involved in a death by firearm.  It is also true that you are far more likely to be murdered by a knife, a blunt object, or hands and feet that you are to meet your maker as a result of rifle fire. Just for the record, I do not own, nor do I have any desire to own a rifle that looks like an assault rifle, I think they’re ugly. And so there you have it.

I apologize for the errors; it was a mistake on my part. There was no intent to deceive, the facts against any further assault on our Second Amendment are overwhelming without puffing stats.

Part 2) It’s kinda sad that so many in the CT community find it necessary to vilify those who hold views that are different from theirs. For example in yesterday’s CT alone we saw people who support the Second Amendment as being vilified as “gun nuts” and dangerous to society. The hate from some is palpable: Please consider this nugget, one incredibly hateful poster wrote: “May the construction working in front of your business last for years or until one of your disgruntled customers blow you away.” Classy, real classy!

an_tip_hat65Part 3) A tall tip of the FTR fedora and kudos to the single mom who posted yesterday about her travails.  I can completely empathize with her situation, because it is a near mirror image my Mom’s life. The only difference is that I was an only child. We all should remember that while both partners have a responsibility to each other to use contraception, in the real world, it is the woman, no matter how horny, that has the most at stake when engaging in sexual intercourse.  It sure seems that she should want to take care of herself first and not just blame a horny male if she is impregnated.  Horny knows no gender. While I empathize with her, I cannot possibly even begin to support government forced surgery on any one, male child, female child, or adult. The notion is barbaric and reeks of totalitarian governance. China and N. Korea come immediately to mind. I can only hope that the lady posted in jest.

I must remind that lady that Senator Ryan did not utter the infamous “legitimate rape” lunatic statement. The comments came from former Rep. Todd Akin, Mo, who I am sorry to admit is a Republican. On the other hand the Democrats do have Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Sheila Jackson Lee. And please don’t forget that that trio keeps getting elected, but the Republicans booted Akin.  Good on you Deer Lady, keep up the good fight.