2018 January

Friday January 5, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsPublished Tuesdays and Fridays. Letters to the editor with pictures.​ Since 0202.​

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[“Wolf Man is dead”] Wolf Man was a dying breed who just really died. He was always happy and cheerful. I’d see him every morning at Tom Thumb around 6:30. He’s what we moved here for and now have lost. Respect used to come from who you were not how much money you had. They are all dying off OZ, Hurricane Dave, and now Wolf Man. They all accomplished the true Keys goal. To be able to get everywhere you needed to go on a bicycle, and nobody knows your real name.

[FTR on Commissioner Neugent] Yesterday’s Key West Citizen ran an article that featured that nabob of non-performance, George Neugent.  Commissioner Neugent took the time to be critical of the removal of Irma debris along US1.  He’s right, it is taking far too much time and it is far too expensive.


The notion that Neugent can toss bricks at other politicos on this issue is flat out disgusting.  One need only to ride around in the neighborhoods of District 2, Neugent’s district, to become keenly aware that the county has its thumb firmly inserted in its own nether bodily orifice when it comes to the issue of debris collection.  In the neighborhoods–where the voters live–street after street after street is not just littered, but rather piles of debris that are chest high  and tens of feet long are as common as politicians’ lies.

Neugent, et al, are ignoring the voters that put them in office, but rather, are washing the feet of the big dollar donors that gave them the bucks to buy their way into office.  It is money that is the mother’s milk of politics–money that buys ads and signs and bumper stickers.

This is once again hard evidence that this county desperately needs term limits, and that the citizens of Monroe County would be better served if commissioners could only be voted on by the residents of the district in which they live

[“Books by Betty Brothers”] ‘Books by Betty Brothers Rein: Dolphins love our Florida Keys home, Ra-oo and the porpoise, and Wreckers and Workers of Old Key West.


Global warming doesn’t exist because I had to wear a jacket today and, besides, if the ice caps melt, the extra water will fall off the edge of the world and drown the devil.

I think the deer are hungry since most of the ground covering plants drowned and they haven’t had much to eat. The ground hasn’t really dried out since Irma. The only ting coming out of it are noseeums.
[FEMA] Good Morning & Happy New Year! I have returned to Monroe County as the contact for any FEMA information for the media.  Thanks to Debra Young for handling these duties while I was taking a break at home.Please let me know if I can help you in any way.  ~Nate Custer, Public Information Officer • Hurricane Irma
Anyone been to the new place[?] on Summerland?
[“Wolfman is dead”] A great guy! His real name was Richard Nicholson. He was from So. Calif originally. He was a “Roadie” for the band “Ten Year’s After.” He liked to surf back in the day as well. We befriended him after meeting him at Coconuts where he used to use an expression “What the F***!” in a funny way, but often got scolded for saying it. He was a very interesting character and he was not a dumb person – except for the way he chose to live. I think that was originally due to having a pet which was actually half wolf/half dog which wasn’t welcome in rentals.

Wolfman is currently “on ice” at the Dean Lopez Home in Key West They did contact his ex-wife and he did have a brother in S. Calif. The funeral director informed me that if no one claims him, the county will cremate him and place his ashes in the City Vault. Such a sad situation, but it is the way he chose to live his life. Those of you at Coconuts please raise a glass (probably done already several times by now) and wish him safe passage on his current journey.

Wolfie, you were and will remain in our hearts as one of those unforgettable characters we meet while on our own journey. Rest in peace.  ~Your forever friends Tom & Sue

[Mold] We are temporarily living in a rental house. We have discovered black mold. We contacted the landlord but 1st attempt to rid mold was unsuccessful. I know zero about mold and am concerned if we should get out of the house. I have been very sick with mold toxicity symptoms as well as my family. I’m overwhelmed to say least. Any suggestions are welcomed.


Kudos to Kahuna Boat Wiring. The repair was accomplished professionally and magnificently. I applaud their customer service. I highly recommend this company. Thanks! The number: 305-304-2600. Again, thanks.

[Friday Joke] There was an elderly woman who recently moved to an assisted living center.  The staff noticed that when she was sitting in the dayroom she would often lean to one side.  The nurse would quickly go over and sit her back upright.   Her daughter came to visit and asked if everything was going O.K  Her mother answered, “Everyone here is very nice.  My room is pretty and comfortable and the food is quite good, but there is one problem.”  Concerned, her daughter asked what the problem was.  Her mother replied, “Well, for some reason they won’t let me fart.”


[Flood Insurance] Here are some advantages people receive when they buy flood insurance. Flood Insurance

[“Mangrove Mama’s sold?”] Don’t know for sure, but a Miami bank appraiser was calling local realtors for market info back in December and Mangroves was the subject
[Photography Club] Looking for a new adventure?  Need a break from hurricane cleanups?  We invite you to attend the Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuges Photography Club meeting.  We welcome everyone, from beginners wanting to learn, to experienced photographers who want to share their expertise.   Together we’ll explore the natural areas of the Florida Keys looking for great photography opportunities and stories to share. Bring 3-5 photos to share.  Learn about our upcoming field trips and photo classes.  The meeting is scheduled for Wednesday, January 10th from 6:30-8:00 P.M. at the National Key Deer Refuge Visitor Center in the Winn-Dixie plaza on Big Pine Key.  For more information, contact Kristie @ 305-304-9625.  Facebook: Florida Keys Wildlife Refuges Photography Club
[Free Money] UWFK has raised and allocated over $1 million in aid for hurricane recovery efforts throughout Monroe County. Donations for this fund have come from around the world, as supporters know they are donating to an organization invested in the local community already working with vetted community partners.

Including this current round of funding, UWFK has provided over $600,000 for recovery work here in the Keys to 31 local agencies since Hurricane Irma, as well as begun a direct case management program assisting families Keys-wide. The UWFK Board of Directors has earmarked additional funds to assist with mid- to long-term recovery efforts including expanding “safety net” funding during the traditional Community Investment allocation process. Applications for the Community Investment funding cycle will be available at in mid-January

[Mold] My other half thinks I’m crazy because I want to clean up mold spores. I’ve got a hepa vacuum and a hepa air purifier on the way. I’m not very well so I need his help to sort this out. How can I convince him this could be an issue for me?

He’s not sold on the whole spores or mycotoxin idea and gets quite angry when I talk about it. He’s usually so good and supportive, but I guess this is just too much for him. Anyone know where I can find a good article that explains all of this? Or maybe a video would be better?

[Censorship] At a recent meeting at the Center for Disease Control (CDC) budget analysts were told that the words “fetus, entitlement, diversity, and transgender” would be banned and that the phrase “science-based” (evidence-based) should be avoided.
The cold snap will stun or even terminate Invasive Reptiles like Iguanas and Pythons. Iguanas and Invasive Anoles will literally fall out of the trees!

What you can do: Do Not Resuscitate cold-stunned Invasives (DNR). To complete termination, put in plastic bag and place in freezer. Eat Iguanas. 6 recipes — Link. Don’t eat large snakes from Everglades, they accumulate high levels of mercury (toxic heavy metal)

Iguanas eat native plants, including larval foods of Endangered butterflies. When young, they eat butterfly larvae and pupae. They crap all over, spreading e-coli. They eat landscape, including flowers. They eat vegetable seedlings, and can even wipe out a crop. Other Invasive Lizards eat baby birds and eggs from the nest. Pythons and constrictors have wiped out 99% of small mammals in parts of the Glades. Link

Police nab ‘Nigerian prince.’ He’s a 67-year-old guy in La. Who knew that “Nigerian Prince’s” were so fair skinned. Link
[Friday Joke] What’s the difference between a female suing you for all you got, a wife in divorce court, or a hooker?
Not a damn thing, except you’d like to see the hooker again!

[Mold] I believe I have learned something about killing mold and fungus in the body. Oregano oil works but as you do, it releases mycotoxins. I know this because I’m a holistic health practitioner and I use electro dermal screening in my practice and I have seen this in two consecutive clients. Oregano oil works, but you have to be pulling out the mycotoxins at the same time.

[Cisterns] Some of the older homes have cisterns. Back in the day when it rained more they were all we had. Of course the lights went out a lot more often back then too. Sadly, the Keys are now citified, connected to the mainland by a long garden hose and extension cord.
[Mold] Still waiting on results (no visible mold) and finishing up some testing tomorrow. I have been working to figure out my own health issues, predominantly neurological, for the past year. Before that, I had sinus struggles that I tried to heal on the GAPS diet assuming it was a gut issue. My son has had symptoms that lead me to think gut issues, so he has been on gut healing protocols for a while. Hyperactivity, inability to concentrate, sensory seeking behavior, random bouts of diarrhea, dark under eye circles, and this (pictured) happens every couple of weeks. No gut healing, parasite cleansing, sensory therapy, etc has helped. We do plenty of omegas from cod liver oil and sardines, focus on gut and cellular health, etc. It seems like everything I do is pointless. Does this picture look like a mold reaction to you? My symptoms are severe brain fog, chronic fatigue, vision impairment–static, trails, floaters–weakness, nausea without throwing up, heart palpitations, brain pressure with no pain. It is getting harder and harder to take care of the kids, and my husband’s job has him away a lot. We only have one car which keeps us at home a lot. I often can’t drive anyway. I used to be very active, now a short walk can be too much. If I didn’t have a family counting on me, I would have already given up.
[Port Pine Heights Association] Yesterday morning Chuck Griffin and I attended a meeting that was prompted by questions from some PPH homeowners about the lack of debris cleanup in Port Pine Heights. County Administrator Roman Gastesi, County Commissioner George Neugent and three representatives from the company currently tasked with the removal of remaining storm debris were there to answer questions.

You may have noticed that trucks have recently been working in our community to complete the first round of cleanup. We were assured that the trucks and workers will continue until most of the debris is removed over the next two weeks. Items that will not be picked up on this run are metal items, such as appliances and toxic products (electronics, cans with paint, oil, gas, etc.). When the first pickup is completed, they will begin a second round with a third scheduled later on. They suggested that if there are still PPH homeowners that have not finished cleaning up their property, to do so as soon as possible to take advantage of these free pickups. After the 3rd round, it will be the owner’s responsibility to remove debris. It was stated that all debris needs to be separated to improve the collection process and limit returns. Please separate debris on your streets into 4 piles: vegetative debris; toxic products; appliances; household goods/construction & demolition debris.

The same company is also responsible for cleaning debris from the canals. They have barges with equipment that’s needed to pick debris out of the water for disposal. We need to rely on their help in this case since we’re limited on what can be done with our community pontoon boat. Priorities and scheduling are currently being worked out.

The gentleman in charge did work here after Hurricanes Georges and Wilma and understands the difficulties that come with our diverse ownership issues (both private and public) and the liabilities and concerns involved. Health, safety and availability of adequate areas for staging and removal in a Wildlife Refuge must also be taken into consideration for the job to be done properly and to qualify for funding.  ~Bob Audette

[Friday Funnies] Yesterday I was at Kmart buying a bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Owen, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? Because I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Kmart won’t let me shop there anymore.
The term ‘mycotoxin‘ is usually reserved for the toxic chemical products produced by fungi that readily colonize crops. One mold species may produce many different mycotoxins, and several species may produce the same mycotoxin. Mycotoxin Test Kit
[Bird count After Irma] “We had half the number of pelicans we’ve had in the past.” Among the thriving species are vultures. Keys staples such as egrets and blue herons are also thriving. Other birds not as often associated with island life, such as the bald eagle, are likewise here in slightly larger numbers this year. Familiar species such as cardinals, blue jays and mockingbirds were relatively unaffected and will be a familiar presence at bird feeders and in the trees again this year.
[“Books by Betty Brothers”] Wreckers and Workers of Old Key West. Link
Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.   ~Paul Brandt


[Sarcasm] Do you have to be a biker to be a wounded warrior?

What is with the white cargo containers at MM 21 in the garden center? It looks like someone dumped trash there illegally. Wasn’t that a high price neighborhood once like Shark Key?


The picture of the old Montego Bay burning in Tuesdays CT brought back many fond memories.  In my opinion the best bar BPK has ever seen.  Many afternoons were spent at the corner of the bar with the collection of pirates (who had brass name tags at their favorite spots) shooting dice and with Big Ed keeping our glasses full.  They’ll never be another like Mo Bay.

[Friday Joke] Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Barbara opened a letter from home one evening. Inside the letter was a $100 bill her parents had sent. Sister Barbara smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below. Quickly, she wrote, “Don’t despair. -Sister Barbara,” on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, got the man’s attention and tossed it out the window to him. The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street.

The next day, Sister Barbara was told that a man was at her door, insisting on seeing her. She went down, and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills.

“What’s this?” she asked. “That’s the $8,000 you have coming Sister,” he replied. “Don’t Despair paid 80-to-1.”


[“Over development”] Paradise Lost. There’s this sailor who made the voyage of his lifetime across the Pacific to Tahiti expecting to find the Tahiti of the 19th century with topless brown beauties, only to find chain stores and traffic.

Nobody rebuilds BBQ’s because it costs more to rebuild than it cost to buy a new one. They don’t build quality anymore. It’s not profitable.
[Free Trailers] Here is a news release extending the length of time eligible individuals and families can stay temporarily in hotels at FEMA expense.  This is a five week extension of the program. FEMA Hotel Stays Extended Through Feb. 10

[Paradise Lost] Is it legal to shoot out my neighbor’s flood lights that shine all night into my freaking bedroom windows?

Sting song circa 1994: “You can say I’ve lost my belief in the politicians. They all look like game show hosts to me.”
From: If I Ever Lose My Faith in You
Somewhat prescient?
[“Betty Brothers  books”] These are in my collection. Some have varying covers and printing dates. If anybody has some not on this list or if there are errors here please let us know. Happy 99th birthday to Betty!
Ra-Oo & The Porpoise – 1962 – 110 pages hardcover. 1971 softcover.
Ein Leben mit Delphinen (A Life With Dolphins) – 1962 – 160 pages hardcover – In German.
The Bottle-Nosed Dolphin – 1964 – Seacamp Marine Science Series #1 – 15 pages softcover booklet.
Triggerfish – Tales of the Florida Keys – 1965 – 154 pages softcover and hardcover.
Hurricane Betsy – 1969 – 8 pages softcover booklet includes – Adventure Into the Sea – 11 pages.
Call of the Wild Reef – 1971 – By Bern Brothers, art work by Betty Brothers. 105 pages hardcover and softcover.
Wreckers and Workers of Old Key West – 1972 – 108 pages softcover and hardcover.
Dolphins Love Our Florida Keys Home – 1982 – 101 pages softcover.
Youthercise – 1985 – 4 pages softcover booklet
Deer Ed, Some of the arifmatic prollems are hard to figger out when I submitt stuff. Just sayin’[?]



[Roofs] Some people here are confusing sheathing (or including some other structural components like trusses or rafters) with roofing. A roof blowing off is not the same as roofing blowing off[?].

Jack Black & Tenacious D perform the greatest and bestest song in the world: Tribute
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