2018 January

Tuesday, January 9, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsPublished Tuesdays and Fridays. Letters to the editor with pictures.​ Since 0202.​

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[Mold Cure] I had a cabin up north with mold. I poured Clorox in a pail, dipped a sponge mop in same, and proceeded to wipe the walls and ceiling. Then I poured the rest of the Clorox in a baking pan and set it in front of a fan set on slow. After a short time it seemed to get rid of the mold. This is probably not a long term solution but it worked!
[Free Appliances] I have oodles of appliances to give away. They are used, need to be cleaned up, but should be in working order.
Refrigerators and stoves! (electric, no gas) Call me and or come to get one or 5 or 10! 305-295-1333 Mariner’s Cove Apartments in Key West.
[Developers] Shrimp Farm, Summerland Key, high-density development is a bad idea, say neighbors. It isn’t restricted to worker housing, despite the developers’ claims. It would push out other projects designed for land that isn’t environmentally sensitive like Shrimp Farm. It’s on environmentally sensitive land, critical habitat for endangered species, part of a wildlife corridor, and surrounded by State conservation lands. It faces so many regulatory and legal obstacles – designed to prevent exactly what the developers are trying to do – that it’s unlikely to ever be approved or to withstand legal challenge. shrimp farm report


The dreaded hurricane re-entry permit.

I just bought a low mileage car from Carmax. I did not know their operation, had never visited their lot before, but wow, I am impressed with their operation and will likely shop there again
[R.I.P. Robert Guthrie] We lost another Piner, Robert Guthrie. Robert grew up on Pine Key with his younger brother, Richard. The family had been on Big Pine for a very long time. They had a house on Bogie Channel. Robert Captained a Shrimp boat “The Little Wendy “D” with his Pop, Ralph. Robert was at home on & in the ocean. He understood the sea like few of us ever will.

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow, what a ride!

Good people don’t smoke marijuana. ~Jeff Sessions  Check out the video of him saying so–Video
[Censorship] On Dec. 15, the Washington Post reported that at a recent meeting at the Center for Disease Control (CDC) budget analysts were told that the words “fetus, entitlement, diversity, and transgender” would be banned.”
Do they think those banned words will go away?

[How Kia Got Good] Fifteen years ago, a Kia was the rental car you hoped you didn’t get stuck with. Nowadays Kia is a surging company churning out customer favorites. What happened? Link

[Ocean Bottom] Weeks after Hurricane Irma hit the Florida Keys, the ocean bottom was stirred up, underwater visibility remained low and reports of large trees, telephone poles, railroad ties and massive mangrove root balls bobbing in the nearshore waters were common.

The Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary is partnering up with Navionics, a company that provides digital chart navigation, to remap the Florida Keys’ sea floor, and they’re asking for input from local boaters. Boaters can help by removing the SD memory card with their sonar log data from their GPS, load it into their computer and upload the data to Navionics’ website.

Starting Thursday, Jan. 4, complete event information, sonar logging, uploading instructions and official rules will be available at and at participating West Marine locations. The updated charts will include coastline corrections and notices to mariners, and should be available about two weeks after the project closes on Feb. 20.

A hangover is just your body reminding you that you’re an idiot.

[KW Orchid Society] Happy New Year everyone. Our January meeting will be held at the B’nai Zion synagogue at 750 United St. in KW. United runs between Duval & White Streets. Go to the entrance on the right & bring your Show & Tell plants. We are grateful to B’nai Zion for allowing us to use their space while the Fort is being repaired.

The meeting begins at 1:00 pm & the program starts at 1:30.

We’re starting the year off with a video, “The Wild Orchid Man”. Here is a quote from the Gulf Coast Orchid Society: “High in the Peruvian Andes, Stig Dalström, the Wild Orchid Man, searches for rare and unknown orchids. These mountains of Amazonas are the birthplace of the mighty Amazon River and home to the legendary rainforest that blankets its basin. In his quest to find unknown orchids, he discovers the mysteries of this region – from the ancient ruins left by unknown people to one of the world’s tallest waterfalls, unknown to outsiders until 2005.

​ T​ravel with Stig Dalström and filmmaker Darryl Saffer on their exploration of jungles and deserts where they meet the strange creatures of this unique ecosystem. This is sure to be an enlightening, educational and entertaining journey filled with Stig’s Swedish sense of understated humor, especially while he valiantly maintains his composure as he encounters floods, landslides, giant spiders and a host of biting insects and hostile plants. KWOS January 2018

[“Paradise lost”] Even if your neighbors moved here from California, I suspect it’s not legal to shoot out your neighbor’s flood lights. I guess you could install a spotlight (not a floodlight) to remind them of impolite use.  In use, many Keys’ flood lights are a disrespectful affront to those who enjoy one of America’s clearest night-skies.

The haze over the Watson Field ball park floodlight haze looks like a nighttime used-car parking lot in a big city—but all floodlighting is a blight on our Paradise. Street lights bathe the night-sky in Miami-Dade, Broward, and Palm Beach counties in a hazy, starless, orange cloud—meanwhile, Florida’s Keys are rated lowest among Florida’s counties in crime-rate.

Stars in a clear night-sky remind us how puny we humans are, and how lucky Keys’ residents are to live in an increasingly-rare (and tropical) Paradise. Even Hawaii is losing residents. Link

[Sheriff’s Air Force] Monroe County had to briefly ground its Trauma Star air ambulances Thursday due to a maintenance issue. One of the three Trauma Star helicopters was already out of service due to a fire last month.

[Trash] I drove down to the Keys today and noticed that north of Marathon, there was no trash on the highway. The lower Keys however were a mess. I think our politicians illustrated their incompetence by this trash debacle. I would guess kickbacks were involved at some point but somehow the lines got crossed and nothing got done. One of the female “leaders” even had the balls to blame it on Rick Scott.  And yet people keep electing these clowns. We never learn.

[“Wolfman dead”] I have to agree with the poster telling the tales of people that truly we’re Keys folks. Never earning much but always real pleasures to run into and spend some time with.

Wolf was always social and had a great sense of humor, OZ was a Vietnam Vet with a smile and a wry sense of humor and even Hurricane Dave who was well… Hurricane Dave — good and bad. I also miss barefoot Bob who passed on the Appalachian trail and was known there as the “Island man”.

I’m hoping Boogie Bob is still around. I have not seen him for a while. I miss those Keys souls that made the Keys a one in a million places. Go in peace old friends.

True ignorance is not the absence of knowledge, but the refusal to acquire it.  ~Karl R. Popper


[Uke Mania] Uke out at the “NUT” Jan. 10th at 7 pm. Stop by have some fun. It’s an early night out at the “NUT”, downtown Big Pine Key. Video

I just spotted the scat of rednecks on US 1 on Big Pine–about twenty tires were dumped. What is the deal with rednecks and tire disposal? This isn’t Kentucky or Tennessee and we have dumps
[Trauma Star] I have read a couple of posts, downing trauma star and wanted to reply. Here are a few details in the posts that weren’t so accurate. First Trauma Star is nearly self-funding, the program has been, for a while now and, a very small burden on the tax payers. Without Trauma Star the citizens of Monroe County would be billed about $60 thousand dollars for one flight to Miami. Not everyone has insurance that would pay all that, and I would guess even with insurance you would owe after they pay. So when you think it is the “Sheriff’s Air Force” remember it was the citizens and BOCC that wanted it, and the Sheriff was good enough to take on the huge extra burden. Think of the logistics and manpower it takes to keep them flying and doing about 1000 flights in a year. I say thank you! And feel lucky to live somewhere I can be flown to a trauma center for free
[Developers] A proposed worker housing project at the old Shrimp Farm on Summerland Key will not go before the Monroe County Commission later this month, but the developers plan to restart the process and take it all the way back to its first required meeting.
[“Moldy child”] It sounds like the person with gut problems and the kid with puffy eyes has been trying to treat those ailment holistically. I suggest you forget that and get some real medical help from a real doctor practicing western medicine. Health food and holistic medicine are only good as a preventative not as a cure. They are not strong enough. Put away your Birkenstocks and take care of your family with western medicine.
[Irma Response] Monroe County Emergency Management Division will host six public meetings throughout the Keys in January regarding Hurricane Irma response efforts.
This Wednesday at 7 pm the Coconuts Ukulele Orchestra will Uke out at the “NUT”
This video is excellent and gives you a taste of Uke Nite. It’s a early nite , great drink prices, lots of fun & you can learn to play the ukulele in a few hours and have fun doing it. Watch the video, it just a few minutes long. It was shot by & shown on ARTLOFT. Give yourself a break & Uke Out at the “NUT”. It will be the most fun most of you have had in a long time.. Coconuts,Rock’in you Right at the Light. Down Town Big Pine Key. Video
[Crook] The government is moving to seize nearly $30,000 in cash they say came from illegal prescription pill and crack cocaine sales from a Homestead man and Big Pine Key woman, Willie Albert Evens, 34, and Misty Marie Howard.
Wow!  Did you see that game of the National Championship bowl game?  Did you see the back and forth? the unexpected plays? the neck and neck of the whole situation? because I almost didn’t.  So, let me begin…

While I was getting takeout at No Name Pub, I saw advertisements that the big game was tonight on Monday.  Cool.  I’ve been working a few days, cleaning up after Irma.  And still without power. But I am plenty dirty and sweaty, (that despite the temperatures, I was grimy), but I thought, yes, I ‘d like to watch the game at a local bar.  Enjoy this rare night surrounded by others in a favorable place.

By the end of the 2nd quarter.  I am cleaned up and headed for Bistro 31.  But darn! they are still closed.  I had heard something about that, but was surprised it still wasn’t open.  And I thought about the possible hardship for the employees as well as the owners and I silently hoped them all well. I proceeded onto Springer’s bar, but of course that was closed too. Then I remembered how I had heard about that one as well.  This a tell-tale sign right there.  You know the Keys have been hit hard, when the bars don’t re-open.  A CAT 5 with storm surge will do that to you.  And I understand, because my home isn’t open either.  I am still working on it.

I don’t keep watch of the Keys night and day, but I try to keep abreast of the goings on in the Keys.  I have been down here more than a hundred times.  Literally and statistically.  It all began in ’92.  I fell in love then, and I keep coming back.  It took a dozen years or so, but I eventually bought my place.  I bought before Wilma (that’s Wilma with a W – thank you very much).  And got my hat handed to me.  But I didn’t leave.  I can’t tell you why I love it so, but I’m sure you already know.  Because even though we have never met, we probably love the Keys for the same reasons.  I can’t help, but to love it which is why I have stuck it out thru thick and thin.

But last night I saw something that was so disturbing, I have to tell you.  At this point the remaining bars shall remain unnamed, for their anonymity.  Because I am not trying to disparage any establishment.  I am only trying to accurately describe what is going on.

I finally arrive at a bar that is open.  (Well Kudos to them.  I am sure they went thru their own tribulations to get their doors opened.)  Although I am surprised how vacant the parking lot is/was and how empty the bar is.  (But once again, they are going forward and are here now.  Keys Strong Baby.)  I get there at the start of the 3rd.  It’s an exciting game, everyone is happy.  Until a group of 2 or 3 men start to address the bartender in an unsavory manner.  Now granted, I didn’t do anything, but neither did anybody else, plus more importantly the bartender gave as good as she got and continued to serve them drinks.  So, I thought all was o.k..  Or at least good enough.  Until the middle of the 3rd she announced the bar would be closing. Huh? What? National Championships, neck and neck in the 3rd, and you want to close?

I am not a big beer drinker or football fan, but that is the strangest thought I have heard in a long time. You want to kick everyone out now, during one of the best games of the season?

I kept quiet.  I am not part of the group that is haranguing her.  I am a neutral party.  And the head bartender realizes this, so I am one of the lucky few who get an extra last call as they try to squeeze out the cat callers..

With 4 minutes left in the 4th I pay my tab.  I must confess, I am still completely confused why a bar would choose to close at this time. But I saw her point of view, it was written all over her face.  She didn’t want to be there and she could care less about the community that gathered around her well. So I simply ask the bartender, ‘At what point did your night go bad?’  She told me the problem, which I already knew.  I then suggested she not take it out on the rest of the stable.  (I used the term ‘stable’ with her to help her consider the fact that we all are going through our separate days and ways, and that we will only be sharing this moment but for a brief instance.  But I believe it missed the mark, as she told me to leave. Immediately!  Huh?  What?  You want me to leave immediately because of that question?

What kind of crazy nonsense is this?  I’ve never been kicked out of a bar.  Even though I have been of age for 30+ years.  So I don’t know the rules for getting kicked out.  Do I have to leave immediately, or do I get to finish my drink since I have paid for it.  (I am not Young, but I am not Old.) Either way, I don’t know, so I slow play it to the end of the 4th, when low and behold the FG Attempt is muffed.  Overtime Baby!  I don’t care who wins, this is a good game.

Seeing the complete lack of love, I quickly move out of the bar at the end of the 4th.  And hope to find the OT someplace else. I am fortunate enough to roll up to another establishment before the Overtime 3 pt Field Goal, and the Game-Winning Touchdown. Wow.  What a game.  I hope you saw it.  Because I almost missed it.

All was well.  Then a group from the previous establishment came in.  Not the group that was talking poorly.  But a separate and younger group, males and females.  At first, I was happy to see them.  They had been routing for the team that won, so I expected them to be in a good mood.  But instead they came up to me, and started haranguing me for my ill treatment of their favored bartender at the previous establishment.  I asked if they knew what I said, and not one of them had a clue.  But regardless they were intent on being upset with me.  So, I simply asked if they would like me to tell them exactly what happened.  I was hoping that that they would soon learn that they went off half cocked with only half of the information.  I wasn’t expecting a Kum Ba Yah moment.  But one can dream.  Anyways as they occasionally crowded around my stool, guess who ends up getting kicked out?  Me that’s who! WTF!  Are you kidding me?

What is going own?  After 30+ years of going to the occasional bar, I get tossed out for the first and second time in 1 night?

I can only imagine some of the difficulties these bartenders have gone through.  But with these types of reactions and decision making I will now longer give them the benefit of the doubt. Meanwhile.  Everyone. Relax, and enjoy yourselves.

[Conquistadores in Florida Eating Prickly Pears 1522] We had thirst all the time we ate the pears, which we quenched with their juice. We caught it in a hole made in the earth, and when it was full we drank until satisfied. It is sweet, and the color of red. In this manner they collect it for lack of vessels. There are many kinds of prickly pears, among them some very good. Nearly all these people drink rain-water, which lies about in spots. Although there are rivers, as the Indians never have fixed habitations, there are no familiar or known places for getting water.
Veterans spreading peace & justice. Welcome home! Video


New Pennies‘ actual value are 2.24 cents each. (I’m rich!) New, unused or uncirculated copper cents weigh about 3.11 grams each or about 145 copper pennies per pound. Link

[Michelle Coldiron Files For Monore County Board Of Commissioner District 2] A full time resident of Monroe County for 18 years, Michelle Coldiron brings a wealth of political, business, volunteer, and personal knowledge to her candidacy for Monroe County Commissioner, District 2.   In her third year as an elected official and the current Mayor of Marathon, Michelle understands the challenges of balancing tourism with the needs of residents, being fiscally responsible and protecting our environment here in the Florida Keys.

Michelle is an appointed member of the District Advisory Committee for the Tourism Development Council.  She also serves on the Board of Director’s for the Area Health Education Center.  Throughout her life, Michelle’s passion has been the welfare of children, for years she was employed by the State of Florida as a Child Advocate Coordinator for the Guardian ad Litem Program.   She continues to volunteer in the program, acting on behalf of abused children in our community.  Michelle is also an active mentor in the Take Stock in Children program.   She is a member of Zonta International, the Greater Marathon Chamber of Commerce and Rotary and she is a proud alumna of Leadership Monroe County Class XX.

As a homeowner, business owner, community-minded neighbor, and family-oriented woman, Michelle believes that when we strengthen families and improve the quality of life for all of Monroe County residents, we strengthen our community.  Michelle is deeply committed to the future of our County.

Moving our County forward into the future will require vision, determination, and real action.  “It isn’t enough to talk the talk.   I believe that my track record shows that I walk the walk.” Michelle is committed to creating a balance between business, tourism and the life enjoyed by all of our residents, from young families to retirees that live here.  Michelle is married to Greg Coldiron and has one adult daughter, Mallory that also lives in Monroe County.  Michelle is a graduate of Northern Kentucky University with a Bachelor of Science Degree in Psychology.



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