2019 July

Friday, July 12, 2019

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.





It’s starting!

[Flea Market] Remember a while back when Publix wanted to purchase the flea market, and the argument arose about the square footage and the temporary shelter issue of tarps not being considered in the square footage of the allowable building? Hence, Publix bowed out. Now a few weeks ago we were informed that the brothers got the flea market back, they are going to lease the land to a company that is going to put up stationary kiosks. I wonder how much square footage they will develop. I guess time will tell. Bait and switch?


[Pests] I’ve had it with these freakin’ iguanas, mosquitos, no-seeums, palmettos and super roaches and am going to spray my entire property with diesel fuel, Roundup, agent orange, sea salt and any other anti-monster chemicals I can find or demand the Monroe County air force spray Kills all over the entire Keys!

Cistern water can also be used for flushing toilets after a hurricane (better than salt water) and taking “camping” showers. For drinking, cooking and dishwashing water. We filled our bathtubs to supplement our stock of bottled water. And no, I don’t recommend staying behind during an evacuation unless you enjoy extended rough camping.



Indian Rail Scooter, 1917

[Conspiracy Theorist] Where did the story about wires embedded in the flag supposedly planted on the moon in 1969 come from? NASA’s explanation was that the flag was packed in a tube and developed folds. But I watched the supposed landing on supposed live broadcast and recall the flag fluttering when nobody was near it. I tried to find a copy of the original TV broadcast to verify my memory, but only clips were found. The live footage was reportedly locked away and film recording by a camera on the lander was “lost”. Here is one site that explores some of the claims of “Fake!” and NASA’s explanations (some of which are ridiculous). Link


[Slimy anchor rope”] If you use bleach to remove the slime from your anchor line you must also rinse off the residue of the slime.  If you do not rinse the rope clean it is the remnants of the slime that stiffens the line.  You can also use fabric softener to relax the fibers in an otherwise clean rope.

Last words of Christ are in John 19:30  “It is finished.” With that he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. If you need attitude adjustment read Romans 10:9-10


If today’s telescopes, like the Hubble, can see stars billions of light years away, why can’t they see the planets close by we’ve found and focus close up to see the surface and maybe life of some sort and do we want to?

The next meeting of the Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, July 13, 10 am at the senior center.  Hope to see you there. Full Menu > Ongoing Events


[Commercial Space For Rent] Available Immediately $850, utilities extra. 10939 Overseas Hwy, Marathon 910-262-6705 Steve

[Friday Joke] A man and his wife were shopping.  He picked up a case of Budweiser and put in into the cart.  “What are you doing?”, she asked.  “It’s on sale, just $10 for 24 cans” he said.  “Well, just put it back, we can’t afford it” she replied.  Later she picked a jar of face cream for $20.  “What are you doing” he asked his wife.  “It’s to make me look sexy and beautiful when we make love” she said.  “Well,” he said “so does 24 cans of beer and it’s half the cost” That’s when the fight started.




[Build A ‘Reef’ Under Your Dock] A few years ago the government made casitas illegal. They said we had to remove anything from our docks and seawalls that was meant to attract sea life. I guess it’s OK if you’re making a profit. I’d love to know who’s behind this product. Link

[“Change email subject line in Outlook”] Open the message, click on the subject line and start typing, when finished click File->Save or the diskette icon. When you click in the subject line the cursor may not appear until you start typing.



Remember the group “Citizens Not Serfs” that was fighting to keep downstairs enclosures (many of which had been properly permitted and inspected by the County) and to keep the height limit on new construction and the Area of critical Concern designation to limit development? The philanthropist who was funding the movement accidentally fell from his balcony at his northern home.
Considering all of the blatant violations of Constitutional rights in the Keys and the rather obvious corruption that is ignored by the FBI and US Attorney’s office when reported, it might cause one to think that the Keys are the testing ground to see how much government abuse citizens will take before the riots start.

[Trump, there, I said his name”]  It should be: There, I said His name, Amen!

[Building Codes 101] The reason for building codes is to keep builders from building tissue paper shacks and selling them for millions. They could care less about you and safety. Can you imagine this world without rules? It would look like China, Africa, South L.A. or Detroit.

[“How pelicans survives their dives”] I’ve often thought that if we studied the pelican skull and brain, we might learn how to prevent human concussions and other traumatic brain injuries.



[“Guns in the Keys”] Deer friends, it’s never dumb to own a gun if you want to own a gun.  It’s your right, and shooting sports are a lot of fun.  There are two, maybe three indoor ranges in Monroe County.  One is Kiffney’s on Key Largo.  I believe that there is an indoor range on Big Pine Key again. But the best of them is on Big Coppitt Key.  It’s called the Big Coppitt Gun Club.  It’s at about mm 10 on the Gulf Side.  It’s fully air-conditioned, the range is modern, and the atmosphere is friendly.  I recommend it.

[“Cisterns breed mosquitoes and disease”] You water company execs never quit the BS do you. If cisterns breed mosquitoes then the cistern is open to the air, not sealed like it should be. How about all the lawns that breed billions of mosquitoes? Or rain gutters that are clogged as puddles? For mosquitoes try some Skin So Soft in a spray bottle.



When it’s so hot our state flower melts.

The good Lord gave me the power to think for myself, therefore I’m an atheist.
[Building Codes] Don’t forget, most big production builders are scumbags who will beat subcontractors out of every penny they can. For example, when a new code cycle starts, the electrician sees a cost increase of a few hundred bucks per house to comply, and approaches the builder about it. The builder says, “the job pays $XXXX per three bedroom house, if you do it or not. I have a stack of business cards of other guys who want the work”  Unless the local Keys economy is booming, this becomes a downward spiral. In the great recession I watched subcontractor pricing drop to the point that many were working below cost, and unit costs for things like framing labor, had dropped to numbers last seen in 1990, and this is in unadjusted dollars. In reality, once adjusted for inflation, subs were, and are, working for 40% less than they were 25 years ago in my area.

The Mafia is fairly new, not a centuries old crime family as I’d imagined. Leopoldo Franchetti was an Italian deputy who travelled to Sicily and who wrote one of the first authoritative reports on the mafia in 1876. He saw the Mafia as an “industry of violence” and described the designation of the term “mafia”…the term mafia found a class of violent criminals ready and waiting for a name to define them, and, given their special character and importance in Sicilian society, they had the right to a different name from that defining vulgar criminals in other countries.”

[Pretend Meat] Startups grow meat in lab, no slaughter necessary. Video





Vacationing Key Deer hanging out on Lake Michigan beach ‘shocked’ everyone. Video

United Way of the Florida Keys is pleased to announce their largest ever annual donation from Publix Super Markets Charities.  At $95,684, the recent gift dramatically impacts UWFK’s work providing access to nutritious food, education, and financial stability in Monroe County.

[Classical Guitar] Remembering João Gilberto. Eccentricity was inseperable from this musical innovator’s artistic vision. Video

[“Building permits”] I wouldn’t mind code enforcement and the need for permits if they actually resulted in greater safety. However, at least here in the Keys, it seems the required inspections are (maybe) done by the “drive by” method. I’ve seen exterior doors installed backwards, electricity and water lines installed right next to each other (what could go wrong?) and windows with no caulking. Wow.
[“Building codes“] I think that most code requirements are simply government overreach. I own my home and should be able to make whatever modifications suit me.  I can cut the legs off my jeans, drill holes in my coffee cups, block the vent ports on my computer and generally destroy my property however I wish.  I can even run with scissors (but don’t tell my mom).

I think building codes are fine and that builders should have the option of having their buildings certified by an independent agency.  If I do a repair or modification to my Keys home and someone gets hurt because of it, the law already provides remedies for my negligence or stupidity.

Anyone can join the Florida Coral Crew to help support healthy, beautiful ecosystems and restore corals affected by disease. The FWC is looking especially for strong engagement from those out in the water later this month for the lobster mini season. Florida Coral Crew members will help raise awareness about the disease and recruit others interested in helping. Here’s what you can do today:
-Visit to join.
-Avoid touching corals while diving for lobster.
-Don’t anchor near corals.
-Clean diving gear.
-Use environmentally-friendly sunscreens.
Those in the Keys for the two-day lobster sport season July 24-25 can meet with FWC staff stationed at Bass Pro Shops – Worldwide Sportsman on Islamorada and at Divers Direct Key Largo. Link


[“Animation of a roach walking”] He was the same one on my pillow the other morning, I think!

[Kill The Deer] I am trying to track down a rumor that someone posted on this site about asking people to lure key deer to the highway to be hit. They have the notion that the deer are the sole reason for all the restrictions on Big Pine. I do not want this published. I am hoping for an answer from the editor.
[Bugs] Do you know why tourists prefer to drink tea or coffee in a clear cup in Key West? So they can see the palmetto bugs drowning.
It is estimated that if every illegal alien were rounded up and deported back to their original countries, Americans will get an income tax break of 50% for the next 5 years. If he took the lawyers, dope dealers, criminals, actors, useless eaters, politicos too, we’d all could retire for free! save America, let the farmers run this rock.