2019 July

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

[Building Codes] As a licensed contractor, I’ve been told over and over again about the penalties for not obtaining a building permit for a job. As a homeowner, during a recent addition to my home, I followed all regulations for inspections, code compliance, and of course property tax assessments.

But after watching the film “Still Mine” I began to question my brainwashing about the merits of building codes. Why should the government have so much power over personal property? A quick trip to the International Code Council (ICC) website and you will find they cite safety as the basis for code law, and state that all modifications to a dwelling should be overseen for safety of others. If that makes sense, why do we allow modifications of our automobiles without similar oversight? Certainly, more people are killed or injured from cars than from residential buildings. Maybe it’s about money, as most things are, and the ability for the government to collect fees and increase taxes.

[Travel] I sat down with my wife and kids to talk over where we wanted to go on a very cruise, but after only a half hour, we gave up. It seems everywhere we wanted to go for vacation was either in a war zone, too decrepit, politically in turmoil, dangerous, or just not to our tastes. We’ll have to wait until World War Three is over I guess.





[“Not Hungry”] Have you ever been out on a date and your girlfriend say she is not hungry, orders a small salad and then proceeds to eat half of your dinner? This is the perfect fix.

[New Names] I think “Chirp” would be a good name. Christians always selected names from the Bible. Now everyone tries to make up the next popular name. Look how “Latisha” caught on
In the 1980s a was visiting my parents in The San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles so was bored out of my mind. I walked the few blocks to Ventura Blvd and I came to a run down strip mall and it’s run down strip mall bar. Perfect. A dive bar. I went in and there were about a hundred people who were watching live,  on the stage, Canned Heat. My God, my heroes! There was only one seat left in the place—the best seat in the house–at the corner of the bar closest to the stage. The harp play had gained about another three hundred pounds and looked like the caterpillar in Alice In Wonderland with as many belly folds. Man, were they good.

Canned Heat – On the Road Again live at Woodstock 1969

[“If everyone in the Keys had a cistern”] The post about the cisterns was in order to have a system that supplies free water for washing your car, watering the plants, etc., not drinking.




Old school redneck engineering.

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Jesus’ last words (unless they changed Mathew as they do every century or so) indicate that Jesus realized that no help was coming from above and there was no God. That’d kill anybody!


[Politically Correct] PETA finds name of rural road in Idaho distasteful, asks for change. Groan. Video

[“Recycling is useless”] Except for clear glass which is recyclable forever. If we went back to glass jars and containers, this world would be clean again, but the plastics corporate CEOs would eat us.




[Bustles] In the prudish Victorian era when bustles were the fashion, I wonder if they actually admitted the bustle was to simulate the derriere positioned for mating.

[Crooks] “Balfour Beatty Housing Fraud” Can that happen here, Bubba? Link


[Pelicans] How do pelicans survive their death-defying dives? Video

[“Moon flag conspiracy”] Deer Editor, I did not submit the last 2 sentences about the flag – especially the verbiage about a scandal regarding the cost of it. Why do you alter our words and turn it into something lame? The only info on cost of that flag was $5.50 which came from a regular store that sold nylon flags. No wonder people are prone to believe nonsense when it is now so often displayed. More fake news. Link

(Ed: You are correct and I should have keep my fingers quiet, but I do remember a controversy at the time about the total cost in man-hours, carrying tube design, etc that drove up the cost ridiculously. That was similar to the famously expensive hammer and toilet seat NASA bought.)



How can I get the slime off my anchor rope? I seldom anchor and when I did recently The rope was totally disgusting and covered with slime. I heard that bleach will stiffen the rope and that’s no good.

[“Cisterns breed mosquitoes and disease”] Don’t you know water, fresh water, is worth all the gold in the world if you don’t have any. Food is second and defense is third.
[“Electromagnetic bomb”] I hope you don’t have a pacemaker.




[Moon Path] A composite photo of the position and phases of the moon over 28 days, each photo taken at the same exact location each day.

I’m at that age where everything my body does now is revenge for my youth.

[Cost Shock] I just got a new full house air conditioning system for $9000. Wow, I used to buy Cadillac’s for half that!

Having guns in Monroe County is dumb because you cannot shoot them. I hope the terrorists don’t attack and make me break the law.
[Switcharoo] I wonder what would happen if Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin swapped jobs? (Ed: There, I said his name! Now don’t go accusing me of being a lefty or a righty. Some things provoke interesting thoughts without being political.)



[Optical Illusions] Real life optical illusions to mystify your mind. A seemingly twisted arch, an apparently floating man, and the whole world in a patch of grass. Link

[Government Overreach] I think that most Monroe County code requirements are simply government overreach. I own my home and should be able to make whatever modifications suit me.  I can cut the legs off my jeans, drill holes in my coffee cups, block the vent ports on my computer and generally destroy MY property however I wish.  I can even run with scissors, but don’t tell my mom. I think building codes are fine and that builders should have the option of having their buildings certified by an independent agency.  If I do a repair or modification to my home and someone gets hurt because of it, the law already provides remedies for my negligence or stupidity.

MO: How many US Savings Bonds do you have?
JO: I don’t remember.
MO: Where did you hide them?
JO: I don’t remember.

That graphic of the roach walking was absolutely repulsive. Good job!
[Change The Subject Line Of A Message You’ve Received] You used to be able to do this in Microsoft Outlook, but no more. I’ve tried every way their Help files instructed, but I just can’t change the subject line to better help me identify old emails I save




[Movies] It’s seems the latest trend in murders is to be shot or stabbed in the neck. Stay tuned.

[FKAA vs Mafia] What’s the difference between the Water Company and the Mafia? The Water Company can shut off your water and make your life miserable. The Mafia can shut off your blood supply.




[Prostate and Swinging Dicks] Traditional Qi Gong treatment for prostate problems. An unusual story from Taipei, Taiwan about a treatment for prostate problems. We had to show it because it was just so amusing and bizarre. I think we could have another Olympic sport here. Video

United Way of the Florida Keys recently announced $233,000 in grants to 20 local nonprofits. As the 2019-20 Community Investment partner agencies, these non-profits will work with UWFK to provide nutritious food, education, financial stability and Hurricane Irma recovery for Monroe County residents. Link

[“Cisterns breed mosquitoes and disease”] Haven’t they been linked to cholera in some third world countries? I’ve read where cholera has been linked to certain contaminated wells in those places. How about cisterns?