2019 July

Friday, July 5, 2019

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

Big Pine Key Park is now better than ever.  I like trees as much as the next guy, but there is a time when they should be trimmed, and Big Pine Key Park did it right. Before they had so many trees and bushes along the side of the water, you could hardly see the water!  Before they trimmed the trees, if you were in the middle of the park it was just like being in Kansas or anywhere else. Now, you have these great views of the water, every time you look you are reminded you are in paradise.  Two other benefits are that you get more breeze and less bugs because you do not have the trees and bushes blocking the breeze. Whoever decided to do this was spot on!
[“Bring back cisterns”] Cisterns breed mosquitoes and disease. I’ll take the pipeline any day. I remember when the electricity used to go out in Key West almost every day and we had no water because the electric pump wouldn’t work.
[“Use copper pipe for plumbing”] I disagree because down here copper corrodes. Copper embedded in concrete will always leak. Just look at copper pipes under an older stilt house and you can see the damage caused by this hostile environment. If you look next to those copper pipes at the pvc and cpvc pipes they look as good as new. And pvc is a hell of a lot easier and cheaper to work with!
[Friday Joke] Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn’t really know, here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “It might be nice to have another child.” On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.”


[Cockroach Survivors] Researchers tried (and failed) to kill cockroaches for six months. Video

[Food in the 1950s] Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and was never green. Cubed sugar was regarded as posh. Chickens didn’t have fingers in those days. None of us had ever heard of yogurt. Healthy food consisted of anything edible. Cooking outside was called camping. Seaweed was not a recognized food. ‘Kebab’ was not even a word, never mind a food. Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days and was regarded as being white gold. Prunes were medicinal and stewed. Surprisingly Muesli was readily available–it was called cattle feed. Water came out of the tap.  If someone had suggested bottling it and charging more than gasoline for it, they would have become a laughingstock. There were three things that we never ever had on/at our table in the fifties.  Elbows, hats and cell phones. And there were always two choices for each meal.  “Take it” or Leave it”.
[Recycling is Useless] The only real impact that recycling has is that Waste Management makes a lot more money with the additional pickups. Even aluminum cans are piling up at the recycling centers because the economics just don’t work.

I realize that people feel good about doing their bit to help the environment, but it is mostly a wasted effort.  If Americans really want to help the environment, I suggest they dedicate an hour a week picking up roadside and shoreline trash. It would help the environment, beautify the Keys, and make you feel good. The problem is it would take more effort than separating a few items on trash day.  If you think I am making this up, the New York Times wrote the same thing

I just watched the fireworks. They were right in my backyard. What a show. I gave a few bucks to the firemen when they were collecting on US1. I think that’s where the money goes. Once again I realize how blessed I am living here on Big Pine. Thank you to those who made it possible. Nature was a good back up too. Picnic and Scotti[?] tomorrow. Just living the dream.

[“Electromagnetic bomb”] An EMP (electro-magnetic pulse) is a big fear among those in government. Exploding an EMP above the target will render all the electronics useless and take survivors back to the stone age.

[Iguana Killer Club] The IKC needs to be resurrected. The (commission) encourages homeowners to kill green iguanas on their own property whenever possible,” the directive says. “Iguanas can also be killed year-round and without a permit on 22 public lands in south Florida.” Video


[“Moon landing conspiracy”] Learn how to read the news when it is occurring. The “waving flag” is due to wires inserted into the fabric to make it stay in that position due to the lack of gravity. The exorbitant cost of designing and building that stupid flag was the cause of a government waste scandal at the time. Get you head on straight; life will be more rewarding.

The Key West Film Festival wishes you a spectacular July 4th! This month we celebrate independent journalism and the career of Mike Wallace with a pop-up documentary screening at the Tropic Cinema Key West, and salute independent filmmaking by offering a huge holiday film submission discount for our upcoming festival November 20-24. Link


I would like for you to add our business to your Business directory. We deliver and spread gravel and sand and have license for tree removal. We live in the Keys and service Big Pine area.
Juvier Trucking (305)481-0499 Business Directory > Lawn Care





I have worked thousands of accidents, but this is the best diagram I have ever seen.

Wikipedia during its infancy was unreliable, now twenty years later it has put almost all reference books out of circulation it is so reliable.


[Bottle Cap Challenge] What’s the bottle cap challenge? Here’s what you need to know about the latest viral trend. (I could watch Jason Statham do this all day & all night long.) Video

[“If everyone in the Keys had a cistern”] Been here long? There was a time when homes in the Keys had them. But no one was happy with low pressure showers and having to treat their water and maintaining a pumping system. Hence the fresh water pipe hung on the bridges bringing water from Miami. It’d be nice to go back to cisterns, go back to vacant lots between houses and no one renting their homes – but those days are gone.




[Cuban Art] Key West Art & Historical Society’s exhibit “The Restless Eye — The Visions of Olga Manosalvas” opens with a special reception on Friday July 19 from 6:00pm-7:30pm in the Bryan Gallery at the Custom House Museum located at 281 Front Street. The show will run through the end of September. Link

[Friday Joke] Bob goes to the post office to apply for a job. After filling out the application and a questionnaire he is asked to stay for an interview. He is taken to a room where he meets the postmaster. The man looks over his application and questionnaire and says, “Everything looks good, sir, but I have a few questions. You answered yes to the question “are you allergic to anything?”, what would that be?
Bob answers, “Caffeine. I can’t have anything with caffeine in it”
The postmaster looks at the papers again and says, “Ok then, I see you are a veteran, that gives you a point in your favor to get the job”  “Now you also answered that you are a handicapped veteran.”
Bob answers, “Yes I was deployed in Iraq and the Humvee I was in was hit by a road side bomb. I lost both my testicles to a piece of shrapnel”
The postmaster shutters and grimaces and replies, “Oh wow, that’s awful, but qualifies you to be hired immediately.” “You can start tomorrow. Our hours are from 8:30 to 4. Please be here at 10 am and welcome aboard.”
Bob is thrilled and asks, “If your hours are 8″30 till 4 why do you want me here at 10?
The postmaster says, “Well this is a government job so we just stand around from 8:30 till 10 drinking coffee and scratching our balls so you won’t need to be here for that.”
[Green Iguanas] Florida says kill them whenever possible. Video


[Celebrate America] Let’s take a break from complaining about America to celebrate America.

[“Electromagnetic bomb”] They are the perfect bomb because the do absolutely no damage to buildings, food or people. They just kill all electronics.


Fun without alcohol? Sober bars offer social connections without peer pressure to drink. Down here we call that Church. This will never take hold in the Keys. Video

Plastic free July. Link
[Coffee] How to brew (good) coffee outdoors. Link
[Charter School] The Little School that Could. On June 30, Cathy Hoffman will be retiring from the Monroe County School District as the Principal and Executive Director of the neighborhood charter school on Big Pine Key known since 2007 as the Big Pine Academy. She will be moving to Dublin, Ohio at the end of the school year with her husband, Roger, to be closer to her son and daughter-in-law and their two grandchildren as well as her daughter. The Hoffmans’ hope to be spending the winter months back at their home in the Lower Keys.  Cathy is a graduate of the University of Dayton with 43 years education experience in the Van Wert Ohio School District as a special education teacher and the school district superintendent.  She guided the Big Pine Academy with high student achievement for twelve years and will be solely missed by the Lower Keys community.

The neighborhood school was founded in 2002 with only 25 students by Hazel Hartman and Duncan Mathewson with assistance from Andy Tobin and Peter Rosoco together with a bunch of very committed parents and educational advocates.  This “Little School that Could” has literally and figuratively weathered the many storms to become a shining star academically in the Monroe County School System since its inception.  During the early years when Hazel Hartman became the school principal, it led the way as an A-rated school with an innovative community-based K-8 curriculum having a peek enrollment of about 130 students.  In 2017-2018, the Florida Department of Education School of Excellence placed the school ranking in the top 80% in Florida with a 93% score in the state mandated test.  All of the school teachers have been evaluated as “Highly Effective” for the past three years.

[Phone Diagnosis] Now I know why I was told many times never to get sick in the Keys. Every time I call a doctor’s off and get the receptionist to find out if they can fix my problem, they have no idea what the hell I’m talking about. Why these people are sitting there for pay is beyond any logic. I would hate to have an emergency illness.



[Three Shark Eats Girl] What happened with fatal shark attack in the Bahamas? Video

[Voice of Reason] “It’s all the Democrat’s fault.” “It’s all the Republican’s fault.” No, it’s our fault for allowing asses like them to stay in office to fight each other instead of working together for the good of this great country