2019 July

Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

Oh, how I love the Keys in summer. The frogs signing at night, and the mosquito helicopter spraying in the morning. Such a good life.


[Wetstock 15] Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages, Wetstock 15 is around the corner and will be Sunday September 1st of Labor Day Weekend.

The Rockin Bobs, Cat 4, and Haywire will be rockin’ the day. (take only pictures and leave only footprints)
I’ll see you there,
Your friend Flip Flop Bob

[Sears Sucks] The appliance installers that Sears sent were incompetent and insulting. First, they were completely surprised that this was a new installation. Next, they had 2 almost dead and useless batteries for their cordless drill. They didn’t have the required tools (right-angle drill and a drill bit extension). With 2 useless batteries, they went to a hardware store and purchased a corded drill; and drilled a hole in an adjacent cabinet before realizing that the lack of the above tools required drilling elsewhere. They didn’t even close the hole they drilled by mistake. After drilling a new hole with the newly purchased cordless drill, the lead installer said he would return the drill to the hardware store. Later during the installation, they made a second trip to the hardware store because they were not equipped to deal with the drain line.

The lead installer (Alberto Machado, ID#51108, Company ID# 26146) had a bad attitude, whined the entire time and constantly complained (“The plumbing was in the wrong place,” “The electrical outlet was in the wrong place,” “This is the worst plumbing job I’ve ever seen.,” “I should have walked away from this job at the beginning,” “The funny thing is that these people will never be able to get this dishwasher out,” “You know what GE stands for…?”, bitch, bitch, bitch.

As they installed the water feed line, they sprung a leak in the existing compression fitting which Machado told his associate, “Don’t worry about that, it’s not our problem.” (We later discovered it was//// his problem because he left 2 kinks in the supply line. I later had to shut the valve, unscrew the line from the valve, untwist the line to remove the kinks, reattach with no kinks, and open the valve.) They asked if they should take the cardboard box the appliance came in and we told them we would prefer to recycle it. He told us that they recycled too so we let him take the box. After they left we saw the box at the curb for the garbage men to take.

I can overlook some incompetency, but this was a total lack of the professionalism I had come to expect from Sears. More importantly, the extremely bad attitude, the constant complaining, and all of the above negative comments, said expressly for us to hear, made for an extremely negative experience.

When I called to complain, I spoke to a Sears associate and outlined the above experience. After finishing, the associate told me he had to transfer me to another associate. I related the above to a Sears associate a second time and that associate told me she had to transfer me to another associate. I related the above to a Sears associate a third time and during our conversation, I was disconnected.

If Sears is at all concerned about its reputation, it should reevaluate its relationship to this installation contractor. Mr. Machado should be required to complete remedial installation training, including training on customer focus and customer relations. I think the least that Sears could do to keep me as a customer is to refund the $139 dollars I paid for installation, since in the future, I’ll be inclined to shop for major appliances at Home Depot.





How to recognize when Jesus has been in the grocery store.

I love the Keys and how easy it is to make my favorite bar owners rich and happy. Amen.
[Cisterns] If everyone in the Keys had a cistern or pool to collect rain water from their roofs via down spouts, we could save millions on tap water, but the water company would just raise their prices, right?





[Redneck Home Improvement] Laugh when you see it.

[Plumbing] I have always been suspicious of the longevity of PEX plumbing pipe. It is way too close in installation nature to polybutylene that was the focus of a class action lawsuit from the clamps loosening over time and the pipe splitting for no good reason. PEX is the easiest, cheapest and fastest pipe system to install, but it can only be installed in dark areas, like inside your walls and cabinets, because sunlight degrades it.

The next easiest and cheapest is CPVC. It gets really brittle with time as the elastizers off-gas or leach out. Now I read this “Some products may degrade CPVC and must be considered before employing it. Some types of caulk, fire stopping products, mold / antimicrobial products, certain types of pipe tape, certain thread sealants, some leak detector fluids, coated pipe hangers, and one type of waterproofing. Any of these products may degrade CPVC and should not come in contact with it.”

Uhhhh! No thanks. If you want durable pipes and can afford the cost, go with copper. That should last more than 100 years.



[Tasty Diver?] This video is as close as you can get to being eaten by a giant shark! I don’t understand how people get eaten by sharks. Didn’t this guy hear the music? Da-dum. Da-dum. Da-dum da-dum da-dum da-dum daaaaaaaa. Video

[Compassion] One does not ask of one who suffers, “What is your country and what is your religion?” One merely says, “You suffer, that is enough for me.”  ~Louis Pasteur




Key deer traffic deaths – they updated the sign. This is a temporary fix until the actual numbers are received from the Refuge.

[Phone Vibrator: False] “A woman filed a lawsuit against Samsung after her cellphone became stuck in her vagina.” It might have been made a good vibrator, but it’s a made up story from a fake news site. Link
[Newspapers] The digital age has changed the way information is eaten, swallowed, and digested. We can’t stop progress, but we must maintain the salience of our hometown newspapers (in print or digital). Why? Local newspapers serve significant roles in local societies. “When local newspapers shut their doors, communities lose out. People and their stories can’t find coverage. Politicos take liberties when it’s nobody’s job to hold them accountable. What the public doesn’t know winds up hurting them. The city feels poorer, politically and culturally,” penned Kriston Capps in a 2018 article at




I was recently told by a credible source that python meat is delicious. Anyone able to comment? Selling snake meat might be profitable and a good solution to the problem.

[Cover-Ups ] FKAA reported that an estimated 5,150 gallons of raw sewage was spilled beside US1 over a 3 day period in January this year from a leaky automatic air release valve. I often hear stories from residents about other raw sewage overflows that do not get reported. One guy said his front yard was covered in raw sewage because he is downhill from a lift station that was overflowing. I guess it is harder to hide if it is on US1 with bicyclists and others witnessing it. Be aware that any raw sewage spill is required to be reported to DEP on an “Incident Report” form. When you see sewage flowing out, call DEP first, then reporters, then FKAA. And ask DEP for a copy of the Incident Report so maybe it will actually get filed. I am so tired of their denials and cover-ups.




All publicity is good publicity–even if it’s tasteless. Link

[The Lost Colony of Roanoke] 8 Theories about the mysterious island and its inhabitants. Half the colonists in Roanoke died of malaria. Link
I don’t call it getting old. I call it outliving the warranty.
[The Evil Screen] I started learning computers way back in 1967 when the first 8 bit box was available. Then I progressed to today’s mega toys. I asked myself why? I realized how I had become just like the kids today, entranced by their hypnotic cell phones. I found there is more to life besides a digital screen controlling my life. I had two, one terabit hard drives, full of what I though was important stuff. Then I got old and realized the only things important are my personal papers, my family photos, and one or two good funny pictures. Who the hell needs thousands of pictures of some old cruise, or some actors, or cornball cartoons?

I just realized that I just got a life at 78. And that if the power went off I’d lose it all except what is on the old school newspaper.

I hope this helps someone with their nose stuck to that brain draining screen.

[Pigeon Eggs] I think those damn restaurants in Key Weird are still stealing pigeon eggs. I haven’t had a decent size egg for breakfast in town for years.

When is FDOT going to fix Route 1 again? The pot holes are starting to get funny weeds growing in them. Hummm?
[Conspiracy] This photo was the cover page of a recent Sunday newspaper insert. How many still believe that the US sent men to the moon and returned them safely 50 years ago? I immediately spotted the fraud as a young naive guy while they showed live footage on black and white TVs. The fluttering flag was the immediate give away since there is no wind on the moon, but you can also notice that the flag shadow is the opposite direction of the other shadows (two suns?). The powdery dust was not blown away by the rocket thrusters during landing. Think of the technological advances since 1969 and yet even simple operations fail continually. And then there is the Van Allen radiation belt to traverse twice. The Russians faked the first space walk, but were caught because you could see the Cosmonaut’s face inside the helmet. The US had a better technical advisory team to the fake film team, so we “won the space race”. Remember when George W. Bush proposed spending $12 billion over five years to build a spacecraft that would r­turn humans to the moon by 2020. Yet it was done quickly and cheaply in 1969? Riiiight?
Van Allen radiation belt
How big is Google’s database? 10 million terabytes. Link


[Preparing for Independence Day 2019] “America the Beautiful” is one of the most well-known and beloved American patriotic songs. The song celebrates the natural beauty and the “patriot dream” of the United States. In this video, you’ll hear this treasured song sung by our very own Hillsdale College Choir. Video

July AARP calendar is here. Full Menu > Ongoing Events

My family and I have about had it with the Keys after 39 years of good times and bad times. With the builders and snowbirds destroying the old Keys culture and letting everything degrade into a third world chain of islands, paradise is long gone and so are we. It was nice while it lasted.

[Save The Keys] There is a way to stop all the low rent housing in the Keys, just pass a law that you have to own the home and live in it for a minimum of 10 years; and abolish all rentals except for hotels. This would also make the so-called business moguls pay a decent wage, reduce product pricing and keep developers from building those instant rat traps that are destroying the Keys.
I enjoy reading the Telegraph.
I would like to obtain the Islamorada Treasure map for my son’s room.
Can u assist?
Thanks and good luck!
The only reason the Florida Keys are still dilapidated shitholes and the locals are as low rent as you can get is because there is no deep water for parking yachts. Else all would a gold mind down here!