2019 June

Friday, June 28, 2019

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

[Sleazy Contractors] Did you pay a deposit to have contractor work done but they have not done anything yet? I know plenty of people who signed a contract for a sewer connection with Bluewater Plumbing, paid a big deposit (one plumbing contractor with a sleazy reputation got 100% up front), and now more than two years later many of the jobs still aren’t finished — but they are paying the additional sewer bill anyway.

They should know that Florida Statute requires that with a 10% or more deposit that the permit must be pulled in 30 days and the work commenced within 90 days unless the owner has agreed in the contract to wait longer.

I was reading the Sunday edition of the Ft. Myers newspaper and it was reported that My Affordable Roof has been barred from pulling additional permits in Collier County and is under investigation by the State Attorney General for taking money for jobs they have not gotten around to doing (or finishing in some cases), mostly from Irma storm damage. I still see a lot of blue-tarped roofs here. Perhaps they have not gotten their due payment from insurance or they signed on with a contractor that was taking on work he can not do within the legal time frame. Better get that huge deposit back while the contractor is still in business under that name!

Do they have an electromagnetic bomb they’re not telling us about? Whoever has it will win the next war. Without electronics we’re back sticks and stones. They’ve been talking about electromagnetic bombs for years. I’ve read many scientific articles about its development, but nothing in the last several years. That makes me think we have one and it’s all hush hush.

Have you ever called tech support for any company and not heard “Please listen as our menu has changed”, or “We have an unusually high call volume…”

[Key Deer Traffic Deaths Increase] For years there was a sign at the intersection of Key Deer Blvd. and Wilder Rd. by US1 that stated how many Key deer were killed by cars last year vs. so far this year. I understand it was maintained by the “Key Deer Protection Alliance” organization. Irma blew the sign down but now they have it back. But it is completely wrong and is misinforming both locals and tourists. It says last year’s deer deaths were 115+ but “so far this year” 25.

With half the year behind us, that sounds like a great deer death reduction – except the 25 deer died not since January, but in just the past few weeks, as any follower of local public media is aware. Can somebody from KDPA either correct the count on the sign or just take it down, since the rest of the community is buzzing about having the most daily car-deer kills in recorded history? If we assume a reasonable 700 total deer count based on latest data, 3.6% of their world population just got wiped out in only 6-7 weeks. Total for the year is likely two and a half times that. Update that sign

[Friday Mini Joke] UPS delivered my new vacuum cleaner today and this thing really sucks.
‘Anger’ is one short letter away from danger.  ~Eleanor Roosevelt


[Dreadful Critters] Can anyone tell me what to spread around my house to keep those nasty palmetto bugs and millipedes from invading. There’s nothing to wake you up more dreadful than the smile on a 3 inch palmetto on the pillow next to you.

[Friday Joke] A woman didn’t come home one night. The next day she told her husband, that she had slept over at a girlfriend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

A man didn’t come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy’s house. The woman called her husband’s 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

[Nice Crooks] Randy Acevedo and his wife Monica are both convicted felons for their part in one of the biggest scandals in Keys history. Mr Acevedo is a bubba and, I believe, an official with one of the bubba utility companies in Key West and also president of the Rotary, it think the Big Pine one. It’s good to be a bubba. I think “bubba” comes from living on a small island all your life; and so were your parents and their parents. There is such a limited number of people on an island this size that the number of community leaders available is very limited. So when they screw up they usually have learned their lesson and are sorry and won’t ever do anything dishonest again. So the other bubbas forgive him because they grew up with him and their families were always friendly with each other, and most of all — they know he has a good heart.
[War of 1812] It was at this port that the difficulty between the British ship Leopard and the American frigate Chesapeake took place. Several American seamen, having escaped from the former, took refuge on board the latter. The captain of the Leopard demanded their restoration; the captain of the Chesapeake refused submission to the demand.  The Leopard fired into the frigate, which, being of inferior force, struck [her flag] to her opponent. As it was a time of peace, the Chesapeake was not kept as a prize; the claimed men were taken from her, and she was restored. This was among the circumstances which led to the war of 1812.



[“Can’t read screens in daylight”] South Park has invented the ideal tool for viewing and listening to your phone in sunlight– The Budda Box.

[From Tel Aviv to Tallahassee] Surrounded by Israeli dignitaries, accompanied by AIPAC checkbooks, Sheldon and Miriam Adelson, and Morton Klein of the Zionist Organization of America, Ron DeSantis’ journey was nothing short of a full on fidelity cheer for Israel. Link
[Politics Overload] It amazes me how many people do not like emails with facts and realities about politics, war, taxes, and anything real. They do love jokes and dumb nonsense, though.
To the person indignant about the fact that Randy Acevedo is President of the Rotary Club. What do you do? Are you one of those people that sit on your ass and complain? Do you complain about politicians, issues, maybe your community, while at the same time doing nothing? My advice to you–grow up. Quit bitching and do something. Congratulations to Randy. You are with a great organization. One that gives scholarships to deserving students and tries to help their community. The motto for Rotary is “Service Above Self” If more people lived this way, could you imagine the great results!
[Friday Joke] My wife has these days when she wants “us to talk about things”. We were discussing aspects of our future, so when it was my turn I asked her,   “What will you do if I die before you do?”

After some thought, she said that she’d probably look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age.
Then she asked me, “What will you do if I die first?”
I replied, “Probably the same thing.”




If I had a barbecue joint I’d call it “Adam’s Ribs

Madeira Beach Grouper fisherman. Captain doom and Gloom’s cousins. Video






Fridge, stove, sink combo 1952.

[“In every argument, one person is always the idiot”]  Not in the Keys, friend. The majority are idiots and they can’t be told what is real, important or lies. They also breed and vote
[“Feeding corn to deer”] What’s that corn do to us humans? Oh, it turns us into cows and sheep and pigs, I guess. Look around!




Millennials may get pissed off at WiFi issues but will never know the rage this issue use to cause!

The July Senior Center activities calendar is here. Full Menu > Ongoing Events
Death is the number 1 killer in the world]
Life is sexually transmitted.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky-panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom!

[“High fructose corn syrup”] It’s great for you. Eat all you want, especially if you have an IQ below 110 or are an immigrant. Good stuff to cull out the unwanted. Yummy