2020 July

Friday, July 3, 2020

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

[Independence Day 4th of July 2020] Happy Birthday America 244 years today we’ve been a sovereign Nation and the best place in all the world to be. The Continental Congress declared that the thirteen American colonies were no longer subject to the monarch of Britain, King George III, and were now united, free, and independent states. The Congress had voted to declare independence two days earlier, on July 2, but it was not actually declared until July 4.

The actual signing of the United States Declaration of Independence occurred primarily on August 2, 1776 at the Pennsylvania State House, Independence Hall in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The 56 delegates to the Second Continental Congress represented the 13 former colonies which had declared themselves the “United States of America,” and they endorsed the Declaration of Independence.   The Declaration proclaimed that the former Thirteen Colonies then at war with Great Britain were now a sovereign, independent nation and thus no longer a part of the British Empire. The signers’ names are grouped by state, with the exception of President of the Continental Congress John Hancock; the states are arranged geographically from south to north, with Button Gwinnett from Georgia first, and Matthew Thornton from New Hampshire last.

[Mini Season] I say cancel it and put the roadblock back up!
[Realtors] There are some very good, even exceptional realtors, but I had an experience with one of the all-time, lazy, incompetent, salesperson of all time. Went to look at a Truman Annex unit yesterday. When I arrived I thought I was gonna have to physically remove him from the sofa to show me around. His response was, “Look around if you like” while consumed with his cellphone. I asked 2 questions after a self-guided tour. Where is the water heater located? And where, oh where, is the A/C’s air handler. Well, he finally got his arse off the sofa and did the same things I just did, opening doors, looking under countertops, etc. He then gave up. I asked if he could perhaps make an effort to call the owner, or property management company? He said the owner does not want any phone calls today, and he didn’t know the property management company. Boy, oh boy, hot stuff realtor and owner sounds like two peas in a pod. I could not help but repeat this story to everyone I encountered as well as called with this douchebag’s name. I wouldn’t pee on this guy if he was on fire. Already have 2 appointments lined up for tomorrow, Zillow and For Sale By Owner. Zero commission to this idiot pig farmer with a GED.


[The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek] I just finished this great book about Appalachia and Roosevelt’s attempt to bring books to the hillbillies in 1935 Kentucky paid for by his WPA program. A young woman traveled the mountain paths on a particularly ornery mule with a bag of books and old newspapers and magazines and often reading to the illiterate natives. It reminded me of our own bookmobile in the 1980’s. Carol Munder, wearing her big round granny glasses, would drive around delivering books to us Pine-eers. We could order a book and she would meet us in the parking lot of what is now Winn Dixie a week later and we’d return our old book for a new one. Do any of you old-timers know what happened to that sweet girl?

[Home Prices] Does anyone know how accurate Zillow’s appraised value correlates to closing price?

[Keys Auto Sucks] I brought my truck from Big Pine to the dealership in Key West for a simple repair of a lose roof gasket. This is the third time I’ve brought it to them for this same repair. Each trip takes 60 miles and 3-4 hours of my time. The two other times they didn’t have the part after assuring me they did. It’s still not fixed. I have to bring it in one more time.

The place is a dump. Most disturbing to me is their attitude about the virus. They have a sign in the waiting room sarcastically saying we don’t have to wear a mask. The 3-4 people in the waiting room all commented negatively on that sign and commented negatively on their political affiliation. Few of the workers wear masks, caring little about our health; or not believing there’s a pandemic even though a half billion have died from it.

[Friday Joke] My wife said, “I’m really bored.  I just don’t know what to do.” I said, “How about the laundry”. That’s when the fight started.


Happy 4th of July!  Let’s go boating and barbecue. Video

[COVID-19 Conspiracy Theory] “What if there is no cure?” Then we will have to get on with our lives. A positive test showing antibodies may mean you have antibodies to one of many corona viruses — like the common cold. Pay attention, connect the dots. The “virus” is the excuse to gain control. If you’re old like me, in relatively decent health, go get some sun (vitamin D) eat right, drink light, and live your life. Quit worrying.



[Berm Renovation] Could someone enlighten me as to the purpose of the never ending project on the causeway between Big Pine and Little Torch oceanside?

[Plastic] Japan’s famous Nara deer dying from eating plastic bags. Tourists are warned not to feed the animals after plastic waste was found in the stomachs of several dead deer. Where’s the Japanese version of Big Pine’s Save Our Deer folks? Link



[Custom Masks] a mask for every occasion.  A lot of these are political, and a lot are hilarious! Don’t click on the link unless you’re ready to laugh! Link

[Realtors] My disdain for realtors made me very happy to read the posters report on how he sold his No Name home without one.  A fair assessment is about 3 out of every 4 agents don’t have enough experience and will probably never gain enough experience to develop themselves into the professionals they should become. There is no school like the school of hard knocks, and most agents learn on the job.
[Mini Season 2020] If mini-season is allowed to take place this year the people in charge are out of their collective minds.  The very last thing we need is to have another 20,000 germ laden tourists bringing their disease with them and make our problem worse.



[July 4th] I’m not very enthusiastic about this year’s celebration with the country divided like it hasn’t been since the Revolution and plagued with the plague.

[Social Distancing] The Department of Health is looking to hire couples married 7 years or more to educate people on social distancing from those who know.


[Beach Closed] The beaches in the Keys are closing this weekend, as well as strict time limits being set on Naples beaches. This is all being done to keep beach-goers from Miami and Ft. Lauderdale from overwhelming their beaches and spreading the virus. I wonder where they will party now?

[COVID-19 Conspiracy Theory #2] The mask and social distancing are an absurdity, simply inducing fear. Nobody actually knows how infection is spread, and the standard theories were disproved 100 years ago. And the band plays on…


[Plastic] Humans have made 8.3 billion tons of plastic since 1950. This is the illustrated story of where it’s gone. Link

[COVID-19] “What if there is no cure?” Then only the rich will survive and rule this planet.


[Crooks] Chase Amazon credit card rips-off people who don’t pay on time. That’s okay to charge a late fee based on what you owe. But what Chase Amazon does is charge you the late fee plus interest on what you owe. High interest. I call that double-dipping and that’s crooked.

[COVID-19] “What if there is no cure?” Then Big Brother’s plan is working.
When men run out of words they reach for their swords.



[Arrested] Who do you call from the police station? If you get in trouble you only get one call. I don’t know any lawyers. What do people do? just pick any one from the yellow pages?

AARP has cancelled all in-person AARP events until the end of 2020, including in-person AARP Chapter meetings. Also noted “you should feel free to hold meetings via phone, Skype, or other ways of convening virtually, as allowed in the AARP Chapter Bylaws.” We’ll try to find out if our Big Pine Senior Center building can be used for other purposes. Full Menu > Ongoing Events




The next step in mask evolution.

[COVID-19 Conspiracy Theory #3] When watching the idiotic response to the whole flu scare. it is useful to go back to a highly relevant report published in 2010 by the Rockefeller Foundation. Scenarios for the Future of Technology and International Development.




[Bad Times] Normally, I’d be curious enough to walk through this door, but this year I am not sure I want to take that chance.

To be fair in this time of statue removing correctness we should remove all the statues of Elihu Yale because he made his fortune as a slave trader.  We should change the name of the university too


[Friday Joke about Schools Reopening] It’s anyone’s guess. This guy found answers just as good as those from our leaders. Video

[Friday Joke] I met a fellow who had sex with a statue before toppling it and got arrested for statutory rape.


[Right To Be Free] When the colonies convened a Continental Congress in Philadelphia in the summer of 1776. In a June 7 session in the Pennsylvania State House (later our Independence Hall), Richard Henry Lee of Virginia presented a resolution with the famous words: “Resolved: That these United Colonies are, and of right ought to be, free and independent States, that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain is, and ought to be, totally dissolved.”

Lee’s words were the impetus for the drafting of a formal Declaration of Independence, although the resolution was not followed up on immediately. On June 11, consideration of the resolution was postponed by a vote of seven colonies to five, with New York abstaining. However, a Committee of Five was appointed to draft a statement presenting to the world the colonies’ case for independence.