2023 July

Friday, July 7, 2023

The un-social media since 2002 with 60,000 followers.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

Submit a post  Contact Us
[Affordable Apartments] In the beautiful Florida Keys, where stunning turquoise waters and swaying palm trees create a paradise-like atmosphere, one challenge persists—a shortage of affordable apartments. However, amidst this obstacle, the resilient and tight-knit community continues to thrive with unwavering optimism. Despite the scarcity, the locals find solace in their strong bonds and shared values. They celebrate the vibrant sunsets together, exchange warm smiles at the local market, and support one another through acts of kindness. As they work towards finding solutions, the spirit of camaraderie shines bright, reminding everyone that home is not just a physical space but a place where compassion, friendship, and laughter truly make the Keys a haven of happiness
[Friday Joke] An old man was walking around the nursing home grounds when he heard a voice say, “Hey, mister!” He stopped, looked around, didn’t see anyone, thought he must be hearing things, and started on his way. Suddenly he heard it again, “Hey, mister!” He stopped, listened, and the voice said, “Down here!” He looked down and saw a frog sitting in the grass. The frog said, “Mister, I know I look like a frog, but I’m actually a beautiful princess. if you kiss me, I’ll transform, and in my gratitude, I’ll marry you and love you forever.” The man scooped up the frog, went to his room, dug out his old terrarium, put the frog in it, and sat down. Confused, the frog said, “Mister, don’t you want me to turn into a beautiful princess?” The man said, “Nope. At my age, I’d rather have a talking frog!”
[Dieting In The Keys] If you think you’re hungry, you just might be thirsty. Have a beer first and then see how you feel.
[LGBT bathrooms] Will transgender people be permitted to use a restroom of the gender that they “identify” with or be required to use the restroom of their biological gender. If the latter, will public restrooms be required to have a Genital Inspection Monitor posted at the entrance to all public restrooms? Who will have to pay these pecker checkers? the people using the restroom or the entity that owns the restroom? And how much money will a Pecker Checker be paid? Or do we pay a Pecker Checker by the number of peckers checked? How many peckers can a Pecker Checker check if a Pecker Checker could check peckers? What has this country come to when the Department of Labor has to create a new job description of politically correct Restroom Service Inspectors? Their motto will be, “If you got to pee, we got to see!”
[Glass Wanted] Something strange happened and 2 large pieces of glass fell out of our curio cabinet that we have had since 1994. We have a piece that didn’t break and are looking for someone that can match it and make 2 pieces of glass like it. We live in Big Pine Key behind the Post office. 305-923-1341
Dark Patterns can ruin your online experience. Here’s how to avoid them. Some sites and apps want to trick you. Don’t let them. Dark patterns, sometimes called deceptive patterns, are tricks designers use to make you do something you didn’t want to, like signing up for a newsletter or visiting another website. Link

I think it’s disgraceful that after 54 years, people don’t know who Neil Armstrong is, or the type of trumpet he played.

[Pride Month] What is going on with this month-long celebration of sexual deviants in June called pride month? When will this delusion end? And why is this administration actually supporting this insanity, like there’s nothing more important to be accomplished than promoting the delusion of this minority. I mean, what percentage of the population is involved in pretending that they are something that they physically aren’t able to achieve? Why is there a celebration of perversion?
[Ban Independence Day] The Farce of July is almost here again. That is its proper name – because it is farcical to “celebrate” what has been lost – and pathetic to pretend it hasn’t been lost. Even to the extent, in most states, of being allowed to celebrate what has been lost – with fireworks that have been banned. Link
Admissions faculty at Harvard was devastated today upon hearing the news that they could no longer use racial discrimination to turn their school into a diverse rainbow of beautiful mediocrity. Their spirits were raised, however, once they realized they could accomplish the same thing by asking prospective students whether they prefer barbecue, ranch dressing, or soy sauce. “We really want to avoid too many, um, soy sauce lovers here at Harvard,” said Alta Mauro, Harvard’s Associate Dean for Inclusion and Belonging. “They’re kind of boring because they study all the time, which is lame. But you need a few of them on campus because sometimes you can pay them to do your homework for you.”
Sources with Harvard faculty also reiterated that ranch-dressing appreciators are dangerous, disgusting people who have no business learning at a progressive and inclusive place like Harvard.
“What we really want are more BBQ sauce lovers here at Harvard,” said Mauro. “They give our campus a, um, colorful feel. They bring with them a wonderful, um, unique cultural flavor to student life. Unless they’re white. White people suck. I hope white people die.”
At publishing time, Harvard had added an additional admission requirement, which involves a freestyle rap battle with other applicants.

What vodka is made In Russia? Link

[Microsoft Edge] Lots of people do not know they have three options to view the contents of the search tool in Microsoft’s Edge browser.
Setting 1 no Adult displays.
Setting 2 allows some Adult imagery and documents, but censored.
Setting 3 is wide open mass porn.
Be careful out there if you use Microsoft Edge. Search – Settings (


Fireworks from above while landing at LAX on 4th of July. Pretty crazy, especially during the final approach. Is this what Ukraine looks like? Video

Remember the release of GMO mosquitos in the Keys? Now we have the first cases of malaria in Florida. Bill Gates just patented a malaria vaccine. I can not make this stuff up. Signed, a former part time property owner that fled Florida when they doubled my taxes. Good bye.
[Homeless By Choice] My father died in late August 2005, when I was just barely not living on the street. In his Last Will and Testament, each my father’s four children were to receive $1,000,000 cash. ~Sloan Bashinsky
Dating after 60 is like trying to find the least damaged thing at a thrift store that doesn’t smell.


There is a singer changing the National Anthem to promote herself. If she doesn’t like America, leave. Please leave

[Privacy] Facebook could be tracking your online Plan B or HIV test purchases. Twelve of the largest drug stores in the U.S. sent shoppers’ sensitive health information to Facebook or other platforms. Link

Better than tobacco for you, right?

[“7 Mile Tree”] I never heard it called Fred or any other name but the 7 Mile tree. People who name inanimate objects are either animists or people who watch sitcoms and the Housewives of Orange County.
Submit a post  Contact Us

[Sick Society] Americans no longer know how to have a good time without bringing their assault rifles to the party and killing each other.

[?] Where are the distribution sites in Key Largo? I use to be able to get them at Publix at MM101. I was told those have been picked up. Like land[?] I don’t have a car so getting to them has become a problem. Any suggestions?


Does zombie’s hair and nails continue to grow after they transform?

[Friday Joke] A man walked into a bar, sat down, opened a box, and took out a tiny grand piano. Then, out of the box walked a one-foot tall man, who sat at the piano and played the most amazing music. The bartender said, “That’s incredible! Where on earth did you get that?” The man replied, believe it or not, I found an old brass lamp on a beach, rubbed it, and a genie came out. He gave me one wish, and this is what I got.” The bartender said, “Do you still have the lamp?” The man said, “Sure. It won’t work for me anymore, so you can have it.” The bartender took it, rubbed it, and the genie came out. The bartender said, “I want a million bucks!” Suddenly the bar was filled with ducks! There were so many ducks that no one could see each other. The bartender yelled to the man, “What’s the matter with that genie — is he deaf?” The man said, “I guess so. I mean, you don’t think I asked for a twelve-inch piano, do you?”
[Boat Gas] I wanted to fill the 80-gallon tank on my boat, so I went to Sea Center where the price of marine gas was $5.27 a gallon. That was way too high for the convenience as it would have cost me $366 for the drive-up service. Instead, I went to Tom Thumb in my truck where the gas was only $3.35, that’s about a two-dollar difference and worth the hassle of lugging gas cans to the dock. From now on I’ll not let my tank get so low and fill it every so often with 10 gallons of gas from my gas cans. Fortunately I had the forethought to replace the safety spouts on the cans with after-market pour spouts. I’ve not figured out how to use those safety spouts without spilling gas all over. You are supposed to push the little plastic hook on the spout to let the gas trickle out, and that’s all it does—trickle. When pouring 80 gallons you sure don’t want to do it in trickles!
The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 7/7/23 at 9:52 am.