2016 June

Friday, June 10, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures



Little Palm Island’s parent corporation, Noble House, wants to build a gated community at their Dolphin Marina to protect tourists from residents of Big Pine, Little Torch and Ramrod Keys. I think what they are trying to do is a travesty and an insult to the good people of our area. Don’t allow it to happen. It’s bad enough that they’re planning a major development there, don’t allow it to be segregated too!

The City and County treats AirBnB and Uber like they are the enemy. The City and County are the real enemies of the people by forcing us to pay exorbitant hotel rates and high taxi fares when there is an alternative that the people really want. There’s good reason why AirBnB and Uber are so wildly popular. This latest attempt to silence technology instead of embracing it shows that it’s still us against them. Link


Things I love about this time of year: more daylight, less traffic, the amazingly beautiful Royal Poinciana trees in bloom. In Latin countries they don’t call them the Flame Tree for naught!

[Fisheries Management] In 1999 there were 98 species designated as overfished. Due to rules and regulations that number is down to 37 species designated as overfished.  Rules and regulations, although we hate them, are for the benefit of everyone.
For 20 years I have listened to people complain about ridicules things about Winn Dixie. Some were just and some were unfair. Some were out of management’s control. (Like the compressor on the roof didn’t cool or freeze all cold items properly). Winn Dixie has been our only local choice and most snowbirds complain that it’s not like their New York store. We, the locals, just flow with it and are happy it’s here.

chair-cobwebsSorry to hear about the determined folks waiting in line for their prescriptions at a closed section of the store. They should set up chairs for people with cobwebs on them waiting for the pharmacy to open, even though the sign says Liquor Store Coming Soon. There are actually people thinking Winn Dixie could get rid of the bathrooms and put the pharmacy back there.

Today, one of Sloan’s ‘angels’ answered all my thoughts. Directly in front of CVS is a banner: Welcome all Winn Dixie Patients.

Now we know the truth. When you are in Winn Dixie you are a patient. Do you know how to find your doctor or nurse? Asking a shelve-stocker or deli person can’t help you.
As a patient we are getting great deals. It’s not $75 for 2 aspirin (hospital price). We can pick and choose food for meals instead of no salt diet tasteless food. We can plan and buy a meal for 4 for the same price a hospital would charge you for one and can eat it in our swimsuits. Wow, what a savings we get. We can even go across US1 and get bandages and knee braces and reading glasses and soaps at the Flea Market on Saturday and Sunday. We get so many choices on this island. We just can’t be patients at Winn Dixie anymore. All this time I thought I was a customer. Now I found out what I am — a patient.
I am still trying to figure out if I am a normal patient or psychiatric one. So I guess I shouldn’t buy anything sharp from there until I figure it out.

[Fisheries Management] I just read in the Citizens that the Department of Commerce is taking input on a measure designed to potentially close the yellowtail season in the Florida Keys during the slowest and least intrusive time of year. Also, prepare for them to lower the limits on these “stressed species.”  Do any of these officials ever actually fish for yellowtail or know anything about them?  Or is this coming from some nerdy university PhD type trying to be meaningful?   What’s next, a grunt limit? Maybe we should propose a limit on nerdy PhD’s.
tattoo needle ink


Do you need inspiration for your tattoos? Link

[Political Correctness] When will we have enough distractions to start paying attention to things that nationally have meaning. We’ve been bombarded by nonsencia by mainstream media till our heads are spinning. Their big guns-political correctness. Political correctness thrust into daily life brings an individual’s feelings as a controlling factor. If an individual feels uncomfortable seeing George Washington’s statue on top of the Capital dome because he was a slave owner. I don’t feel comfortable when the salesperson won’t speak my native language. I don’t feel comfortable going into a woman’s only bathroom. I, I, I. That’s what this political correctness is all about, the world should revolve around me. I just read a blog about a hot pants-cross-dressing-trucker in Texas standing in front of a woman’s bathroom with an additional handwritten sign stating ‘this bathroom is for women as determined by their birth certificate.’ The management. and Mr. Tucker said, “I (as in me) feel uncomfortable using the mens’ bathroom, but if this is the owner’s rules, so be it. I can either abide by his rules or go somewhere else.” Wow, what a conception! He didn’t go out and create a scene, organized a boycott, get a lawyer or sue. Here’s a piece of reality, the mainstream media and lawyers’ main function in life is to make money.
The USA doesn’t have a health care system. It has a disease management system, there is no profit in healthy people for the American medical business system. Have you ever had a doctor recommend against a procedure?
[Oops] Can you please change the article heading from “Sheriff Dick Ramsay will be missed” to “Mayor Dick Ramsay will be missed”.


I’ve been looking for a special gift for friends who are in love with the Keys. Wanted something that was “Keys-z” but definitely not kitschy. I found it Marathon at Keys Hairmasters. Dorothy McQueen, owner of Keys Hairmasters has as great talent in turning shells and other ocean gems into real works of art. She specializes in centerpieces and gifts for weddings and events.

You owe it to yourself to check out her website. Link

[Freedom of Speech?] Police are investigating after someone spray painted a swastika and the words “Nazi” and “racist” on a homeowner’s Donald Trump signs Tuesday night. There was no arrest reported as of Wednesday. The home on the 2500 block of Fogarty Avenue has a concrete wall in front where owner Elizabeth Ann Warren had large Trump political support signs painted. Police were called to the area at 9:18 p.m. after a witness reported seeing a Hispanic man with a black bicycle defacing the wall, reports say. Warren said it would cost about $1,400 to clean and repaint the signs. The paintings are about 4 feet wide by 2 feet tall and blue in color with the phrase: “Trump” and the phrase, “Make America Great Again.” The vandalism had been painted over as of Wednesday. On June 1, Warren called police after someone had thrown eggs at the same signs for the fifth time in the last 30 days, reports say. Warren said she believes high school kids are likely to blame for the egg incidents, but the spray paint vandal appears to be an adult based on what the witness told police.

These defacers don’t understand democracy nor the Constitution.



[Sissy Deer] I’m looking forward to hunting season up North, but I do have a question. If I shoot a buck, but I only have a doe tag, can I claim that the buck wasn’t really a buck? I mean, maybe he’d always wanted to be a doe, but with no choice of his own he was born with the physical attributes of a male.  And yet on the inside he’d always known he was truly a female. I’m just wondering if the game warden will buy it because society and the Supreme Court do.

New York’s plastic bag problem is not unlike the Florida Keys’ plastic bag problem. Video
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[Insurance] My wife and I went over our home owners, wind, and flood insurances, and dropped all but the home owners because the others cover nothing worth the over-priced rip-off they charge us. We decided to take the chance, payoff our mortgage and tell the insurance companies to shove it. Now we can afford Happy Hour once a week!



I just moved to the Keys and wonder where to hide when the hurricanes eat these islands. Do we go to the hotels or run up state? (Ed: After a few years here you’ll probably just sit it out, and probably pee your pants, like the rest of us locals.)

[“Sheriff Dick Ramsay video link”] Nice video by TV88, but it was 3-time former Marathon Mayor Dick Ramsay, father of Sheriff Rick Ramsay, that passed. RIP.
analemma[The Analemma] Ever notice on some globes there is a strange figure 8, with tick marks and dates, usually printed somewhere in the middle of one of the oceans? It’s called the analemma figure and here is what it is all about. The analemma shows the latitude on Earth where the Sun’s rays are vertical on a given day of the year, and the “equation of time” which tells whether local clocks are ahead or behind solar time.

The solar day is the length of time between one local noon, when the Sun crosses the meridian, to the next. But the length of the solar day is not always 24 hrs – its average is 24. The average is called Mean Time.

The Earth’s axis is tilted which works to move the Sun’s relative position north and south, hence the seasons. But the orbit around the Sun is elliptical instead of a circle so our planet moves faster at perihelion than at aphelion, which works to move the position of the Sun slightly east and west of the average position. The north-south motion is the height of the figure 8 and the east-west motion is the width of the figure 8. The effects combine to create an everchanging offset between Mean Time and the appearance of local noon by as much as +/- 16 minutes. This difference is called “the equation of time.

I just tried to search for a legal document in the Monroe County public records online and gave up within an hour of searching through all the crap and red tape. Anything found in public records has a price tag on it. So much for my taxes and what we citizens are entitled to!
[Shitty Representation] Most of the politicians did not attend the most recent Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary Advisory Council meeting at Hyatt Place in Marathon on April 19. Local elected officials:
City Of Key Colony Beach – Mayor Jerry Ellis (absent)
City Of Key West – Mayor Craig Cates (absent)
City Of Layton – Mayor Norman Anderson (absent)
City Of Marathon – Mayor Chris Bull (absent)
Village Of Islamorada – Vice Mayor Deb Gillis (PRESENT)
Put some starch in your noodle. Free imitation Viagra. Link
tv antenna moves


Has anyone had any luck receiving free TV with a roof antenna? I was told this is better than the cable or disk crap?

With everybody suing everybody else for trivial happenings like tripping over a throw rug to getting caught in public ‘coming out’, I bet the insurance companies will soon make changes to the laws regarding liable suits and make people responsible for their own actions. It is about damn time!
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[Developing the Reef] Jenny Patino explained that she flew up to the Keys from the US Virgin Islands for this meeting to tell everyone about a situation in the US Virgin Island regarding the health of the coral reef. The local marine park called Coral World is proposing a new project, which consists of land and underwater construction. The project is to build shallow water dolphin pens to hopefully create an attraction for their water park. It’s pretty important to understand how these pens affect the surrounding ecosystem and coral reefs.

It wasn’t until 2003 that a study was done to examine how these shallow water dolphin pens affect the surrounding coral reefs. The study results indicated that the effects to the surrounding reefs from such pens are devastating. Dr. Goreau looked over Coral World’s proposal. He not only opposes it, he wrote to the Army Corps of Engineers asking them not to issue a permit for the project because it will cause devastating effects to the surrounding coral reefs based on the study.

At this point, the Army Corps of Engineers has been sitting on this decision for over two years and are apparently waiting for a biological opinion from NOAA. As soon as they have that, they can decide whether or not to issue the permit.

Ms Patino is here to make sure the right people have this information and know the devastating effects on coral that these dolphin pens can have. She is not picking on Coral World, but there are other options such as underwater sculptures that are artificial reefs. She spoke to Jason deCaires Taylor, who creates these underwater sculptures. He indicated that he would be very interested in doing an attraction at a discounted price if it were in place of harming the surrounding ecosystem. The same was true when she spoke to someone who creates virtual reality experiences.

The building of the proposed dolphin pen will involve destroying 250 individual threatened corals. She added that Coral World has actually already started work on this project; they have already begun to excavate, which is violating the CZM local permits. They have already started construction illegally. The owner of Coral World was quoted as saying that this project is on its way no matter what NOAA says.

locked-wooden-gates[Dolphin Marina’s Gated Community] I’m so insulted at Noble House for thinking the locals are a danger and a bad influence on their wealthy guests that they want to build a wall around Dolphin Marina to keep the locals away. I know that some of us have body odor, but that’s no reason to build a wall around the marina. Little Palm Island and Dolphin Marina have always been good neighbors, why the turn-around? Are they trying to tell us how they really felt about us all along?
If the Muslims attack Israel, will the Israelis come to America to live or will they move into Mexico?
jury duty envelope

Get your jury duty notice yet? I am 81 years old, and have been exempt from duty for the last 30+ years do to ill health and old age (over70) and those nitwits still spend my money and yours mailing out these notices. Just think of all the trees they could save?

Who owns and runs the CT now? (Ed: Donald Trump.)
Johnsons-ad 4.12.2016
[Violence is the Answer] I am sick and tired of the people telling me I have to like someone who smells bad, who has ruined their own country, who want half of my money, who want to kill off who they hate. I live on this rock and will damn well defend myself, my family and my country, but I will not give a shit about invaders and the trash that has destroyed half of my planet. That goes for the politicians and do-gooder’s that want me to bend over!


[Cowboys and Indians] I am really pissed off with all this political correctness crap. I would like to return to those old days when young boys could play outside as agricultural herd specialists and aboriginal native peoples.

I’m sticking to my basic premise about insanity. The principle is distraction. Keep the population focused on utter nonsense, throw in lawyers, the copy machine media, and the lemmings, who have trouble walking and chewing gum at the same time, who are propagandized into believing that if they aren’t outraged over what bathroom to use the civilization as they know it will cease to exist. In the meantime, small businesses across the country are having to lay off 35% of their work force because of this insane minimum wage nonsense. McDonalds’ thoughts are, it’s cheaper to purchase a $35,000 robot than hire a person. And robots can’t sue and don’t complain about no transgendered bathrooms. And now because of this insanity will bidets have to be installed in men’s bathrooms? What’s the next magic trick up someone’s sleeve to mystify the population? National Lampoon made a recording a while back, Greatest Hits. My favorite cut: Deteriorata, It’s all Smoke and Mirrors. Was it PT Barnum or WC Fields who said “a sucker is born every day “. You are a fluke of the universe, you have no entitlement to be here, and whether you can hear it or not the universe is laughing behind your back.

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries. It fills you up, but lacks the buzz

The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up Saturday, June 11, 10 am at the senior center. Hope to see you there. Full Menu > Ongoing Events
offline2[Settings] I downloaded Windows 10 and it seemed to install OK, but it doesn’t seem to work unless I am online. I cannot get any work done offline. What is with this? (Ed: It sounds like you inadvertently clicked the OneDrive option when installing Win 10 that backs up all your files online and saves them online. To work offline swipe in from the right edge of the screen, and then tap Settings. (If you’re using a mouse, point to the lower-right corner of the screen, move the mouse pointer up, and then click Settings. Then tap or click Options, and then turn on Access all files offline. Link)
It looks like trash is taking over one of the nicest areas of the Lower Keys, Cudjoe Gardens with people making their properties look like low rent dumps. Maybe it is just befitting that area of the Keys?
I miss the automatic scanners too. That was always the entertainment section for shopping.
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[National Politics] 4 out of the last 5 post looked like National Politics. Have we made a change in CT policy or does this just apply to FTR? If this is a change, good. If it’s not it should be, at least until the election is over. Leave the post unedited and lump them all together at the bottom of the CT with a warning. WARNING POLITICAL B.S. BELOW. (Ed: FTR is one of our valued advertisers. You could have your stuff posted too for only $20 a week. Full Menu > Advertise Here)

[Cuban Migrants] If and when the judge rules a lighthouse is dry land for the migrant Cubans, there will be hordes of them going to them instead of trying to get to shore. What I don’t understand is why Cubans come here in the first place. Cable networks such as CNN and MSNBC tell us it is a paradise over there!


[Big Pine Key Controlled Burn] They should do the whole island and save us the trouble of cooking those damn deer!

[Zika Coming to a Pregnant Woman Near You] Puerto Rico is the latest place to have a Zika outbreak. Thousands effected.
phishing-1[Phishing] This came today.  Similar to the one purported to be from Chase cards that came a few weeks ago. I might be shaking in my boots [not really] as I was over the Chase incident, except that I don’t have an AmEx account, &  have  never had one.  PS: there was an attachment which I wouldn’t open, nor would I send it on to you.  If you receive something like this, don’t respond to it. Instead, call the company to see if there is any problem with your account.  Chase had me forward it to their fraud department.

“Dear American Express customer,
We have recently detected that a different computer user has attempted gaining access to your online account and multiple passwords were attempted with your user ID.
Hence it is necessary to re-confirm your account information and complete a profile update.
You can do this by downloading the attached file and updating the neccessary fields.
Note: If this process is not completed within 24-48 hours we will be forced to
suspend your account online access as it may have been used for fraudulent
Completion of this update will avoid any possible problems with your account.
Thank you for being a valued customer.
(C) American Express Customer Service 2016.”

There used to be a group of green market vendors who were setting up on Wednesdays at the Elk’s lodge and then they’d go to Key Colony Beach.  Are they gone?
[National Politics] Deer Ed, Others feel the same way as you, they just haven’t written you to tell you. Keep it up (by keeping it out!) National Politics
cottrell-keyThe KW Citizen reported that the Deer Refuge is spending money to place plastic frigate bird decoys on Cottrell Key to attract nesting frigate birds. They will monitor results for 5 years. Doesn’t anyone at the Refuge know that frigate birds have roosted on Cottrell Key for decades? Ask any flats guide. So plastic decoys will somehow stimulate the frigate birds that are already there to nest? Maybe the Refuge will put the decoys in provocative poses and stream romantic music, with Viagra or Cialis dispensers nearby so frigate birds will be ready “when the moment is right.” Your taxpayer dollars at work. Beam me up, Scotty
1891: Capt. Ross of Jacksonville had the contract to build the first jetties in the Northwest Channel and he used stone quarried from Ballast and Sawyer Keys.



[Lyme Disease] I was recently in East Hampton on Long Island where the librarian said that everyone there knows someone with Lyme disease. Signs along the road warn people to keep off the grass as that is where the tiny tick that carries the disease resides. Nantucket, Mass has 40% of the population infected. Link

[Social Media] MySpace was the go-to place for social media until Facebook and Twitter came along. I’ve used neither and wonder what happened to MySpace that it lost its popularity.

[Drop Off The Tallahatchie Bridge] Log on to keysso and look at the endless parade of losers. We really should just start dropping these scumbags off a bridge. Any bridge. Full Menu > Arrest Reports Mug Shots

I imagine if I driverless car hits you or a loved one you should sue Google. Good luck with that.
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[Letting in the Rif-raff] What is being built across from the Police Station on Cudjoe Key? Looks like some sort of truck repair shop going up. If so, that is a little tasteless considering the prices of homes in Cudjoe Gardens and the rather middle to upper class of residents. More laws need to be passed for conformity to maintain some dignity in nice areas.
Kill Em With Kindness lyrics. Link



Hurricane to-do list.

[Master Race] Let’s face it, there are Caucasians, Negros, Orientals, Red Americans, and Browns. Let’s keep it that way. Mixing breeds kills off any good DNA and makes mutts!


[“Wall around the White House”] Actually the Great Wall of China may have been impressive, but it did not keep the Mongols out (and the Mongols never paid for it).

[Traffic] Can you imagine Route 1 in season with half the road filled with self-driving vehicles and bicyclists who don’t use the Bike Path? If a self-driving vehicle give you a hard time, do you punch the car or the occupant?
ftr from the right 75h[FTR] LEST WE FORGET: In January 2014 Obama bragged of having AQI on the run and referred to ISIS as the JV team. He assured the world that he and his were defeating Islamic terrorism

That was then. This is now.  (continued on the National Politics page …)

Submit anything but National Politics to For National Politics go directly to that page, log in, and post your comment. NATIONAL POLITICS

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