2016 June

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

cronyism-corruption[Blatant Conflict of Interest] The Toppino family is bidding on FKAA projects, but that’s okay because the Toppino son on the FKAA Board of Directors signed a paper saying he will recuse on voting approval of said projects? The FKAA Board just rubber stamps everything anyway, except for Higgins who takes her position seriously. Toppino owns Monroe Concrete which is the monopoly concrete supplier in the Lower Keys. Concrete, gravel, flowable fill, and common fill is a major cost item in most FKAA construction, so Toppino already has a huge advantage in bidding competition (the available family member discount material rates).
Do you suppose that having a Toppino as an FKAA Board member might have any influence on the FKAA staff’s administration of FKAA construction projects? How about the questioning of the quality of Toppino-supplied materials by the inspectors? Gov. Scott’s appointment of a Toppino to the FKAA Board is so wrong on so many levels and is another slap in the face to the vast majority of Keys residents who voted by referendum for an elected FKAA Board.
I have spotted a number of very questionable FKAA bidding practices that really beg an independent audit and criminal investigation, but have been told that will never happen so long as the current State Attorney holds the office. What to do?
[Location, Location, Location] I will comment here on the location of the proposed Key Deer Refuge Visitor Center, since commenting on the official website is probably a waste of time.

The site is a few hundred feet east of the only traffic light on Big Pine Key. It is an area where traffic backs up past, even in light traffic in the off-season. It is the worst possible place to put a tourist attraction on the island. In season, just about every afternoon, traffic is backed up from the traffic light to near the curve several hours a day. In many instances, traffic will be backed up all the way to the Spanish Harbor Bridge and at peak times it has been backed up all the way to Bahia Honda State Park. It is very frustrating to be returning from Marathon and spend a half hour or more to go a few more miles to get home. Since the existing visitor center gets 25,000 visitors a year, and that would be expected to more than double, this site is totally inappropriate.

This site would reduce the level of service on US1 through Big Pine Key and would likely trigger a building moratorium. No commercial enterprise would be allowed to do this under existing land use restrictions.  Also the site would use up allowances for any future commercial development that serves the existing residential population of the Lower Keys. It is another example of a government agency taking actions that would not be allowed to anyone else to the detriment of the local population.

old dino walker


Does anyone else get road rage walking behind slow people?

I so desperately hope all of the political balderdash crept in only because of Deer Ed’s computer substitution while out of town. I’m afraid to turn on the news, open a FB page, or have a conversation anywhere with anyone. I love having the political discourse on a separate page. I’ve loved the way Deer Ed has kept it at bay!


The kids found this Lynyrd Skynyrd cassette tape in the creek bed and asked if it was “from the Civil War.”

[Sniper Mission 2] And you wonder why our kids are turned into assassins and sick criminals with games like this! Video
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[Crooks] My flight back to Key West was canceled Monday due to bad weather and American Airline refused to give me a refund. They told me to get a hotel room and spend another night and they would book me on the next day’s flight “if there was room”. They said weather was out of their control so they were not responsible. I said, “I paid for a service on a particular day and AA did not uphold its end of the contract. So I want a refund. The price of an airport hotel room is far more than the flight to KW.”  They didn’t care.

Remember when it was fun to fly? Remember when if your flight was canceled the airlines would pay for your hotel room and give you food vouchers? Remember when you got a full meal instead of a bag of mini pretzels?

stone crab surfing

[“It is legal to take both claws on a stone crab”] The moral question is should you?  One argument says to take both as the crab will retreat to its hole and filter feed and not get into confrontations with other crabs or other marine life and does better than if it possesses one claw and stays in the open. Since no studies have been done on the subject it will remain the prerogative of the individual crabber as to which way to go. With the overly conservative nature of the Fish and Wildlife regulators today I believe that it is safe to take both.

[Dog-napping] I’m interested if anyone from between the years 1995 to the present, living in any one of the Coral Shores sub-divisions, has had a dog die mysteriously, disappear? Cats gone missing, etc?
win10-reference[Windows 7 vs Windows 10] I have not upgraded; my computer is constantly asking me to do so. I didn’t like Windows 8 at all, not even a little & changed back to 7. Question: is it time for me to bite the bullet and upgrade? The reviews I have read say ‘go for it’. Fellow Piners info would be a better guide for me. What do you think. (Ed: Win 10 is the best OS ever made. It’s very secure. It’s versatility and connectedness are the future of home computing. Win 10 can connect all our different devices and share the same information and apps. You might not use these features right now, but eventually you will and it’s good to know how to work Win 10 because of that. This new OS is a whole new animal than other OS systems and is worth the bother of learning to use it. Some people still prefer 8-track tapes because they won’t bother to learn how to play free music from the internet even though it only takes a minute to learn how. Those people are the only ones complaining about Win 10.)
Mayor Dick Ramsay will be missed by many in all areas of town. Video
[Marine Patrol Officer Endangers Swimmer] I took a friend who is a Stage III cancer survivor out to Looe Key last weekend on my PWC. Swimming is great therapy for her and helps build up the strength in her weak arm. A marine patrol officer with his lights flashing signals that he wanted us to come over to his boat. My friend swam towards his vessel until she was exhausted. My friend was in distress and stated that she had a cramp. She explained to the officer that she is Stage III breast cancer survivor as she struggled to hang on to my PWC. The officer wanted me to power up my PWC to come alongside his boat with my friend fighting to hang onto the back as she tried to pull herself up. I informed the officer that I would not start the PWC while as she was clinging onto to the back. Starting a PWC when someone is in the water near the jet can result in serious injuries. My friend was so exhausted that she asked the officer if he was going back to Venture Out – his only answer was, “No.” Not once did this officer inquire if she was all right or needed assistance.  His blatant disregard for her safety is inexcusable.
compass 360 jerking


How do animals keep from getting lost? Link

[“Removing both stone crab claws”] A long time ago you could only take one until they did a study and found that taking both claws didn’t affect the crab’s survivability at all.



What a great classified ad by La Te Da! But good luck finding people with less than 20 pounds of baggage in KW! It would be great if all employees we’re required to declare their baggage.

I have a list of handy-man type of jobs around the house. All too small to call a licensed contractor as when I called them they said they don’t want these small jobs. I understand there is no such job title of “handy-man” in Monroe county and therefore workers that are capable of performing these repairs cannot be licensed or advertised. My house is falling apart around me, little bits at a time and I don’t know how. I am not physically capable of doing these repairs. It is depressing. Why does the County make life more difficult? I’m sure there must be someone who would be happy to earn some money, but not if they will be fined or arrested.
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I’ve been a very bad girl”, she said, biting her lip.
“I need to be punished.”
“Very well”, he said and installed Windows 10.  (From 50 Nerds Of Grey)
lighthouse sea

[Cuban Migrants] Only a lawyer would try to convince a judge or jury that a lighthouse is dry land.

[Public Speaking] Uhh … FKAA’s Curt Zelch should … uhh … learn how to … uhh … speak without … uhh … saying, “uhh” before going on … uhh, the … uhh … radio. Then he … uhh … would not … uhh … sound … uhh … so … uhh … stupid.
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[Old School Film] If you need to get film developed this is the best company that’s left. Link

If a driverless car runs over my kid who do I go after. the owner, the passenger, the manufacturer? Who?
Johnsons-ad 4.12.2016
[Slavery] How many Americans know that the first slave owner in America was a black tobacco farmer? And Catholic Jesuit priests? How many Americans are aware that thousands of free blacks in the South were, themselves, slave owners? How many know that blacks in Africa hunted other blacks to sell into slavery to Portuguese slavers? Embedded in the minds of Americans is a grand distortion of black history. Our perception depends largely on activists in Hollywood and revisionists in academia. Add those who parrot Hollywood and academia and you have a broad swath of ignorance prevailing in America. Link
airplane stunt corsair[Fancy Flying] Stunt and exhibition and fighter pilots crash and they die. Why are so many people surprised by this? Equipment as complex as aircraft are all capable of failure. Every time you step on a commercial aircraft you put your life in the hands of maintenance personnel and the crew flying the aircraft. Statistically if your “number is up” you would have to fly every day for something like, I forget, but it’s a very long time before your number comes up if your number is last. The bitch is, chances are slim your number is last. By the way. I don’t even have much confidence in your ability to drive properly.
Hey vacation rental guests, your paperwork says arrival at 3pm not whenever your butt gets into town.  Cleaning crews are cleaning up and getting your house ready for you.  Don’t rush us and ask, “Can I just put my luggage, food, boat, bait coolers, bicycles in the house?” Go to the Blue Hole and look at the wild life while you’re waiting.
mutant turtle swords[Movie Review] Saw “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows” at Regal Cinema last night. Today’s turtle-human hybrids look older and bigger than teenagers. Besides saving the entire world from a maniacal alien creature who arrives with his dismembered planet-killing device via a black hole portal, the 4 super heroes are given a chance to take a serum made by the alien to turn human monsters into human-animal hybrid soldier monsters fighting for the maniacal alien. Ironically, the same serum might make the mutant turtle-human hybrids completely human, which future they finally decline. Then, as saviors of the world, they are invited to live publicly, in the day time and be normal, instead only coming out at night, when needed, which they also decline: one of them saying for the 4, “Normal, what fun is that?” Mutant, me, burst into tears.
[Political Correctness Gone Bad] A small custard shop in Milwaukee has been forced by the Justice Department to have their employees speak a foreign language to a customer if they demanded it. Insanity.
Consider this, people are dying to escape their countries. Why? Perhaps they feel that the grass is greener on the other side of the road, so they risk everything, their homes, their friends, their families in a perilous journey into the unknown. and when they arrive at this better place for a new life, what’s the first thing that they do? Do they embrace this new land, new culture, the new way of life? No. They demand that this new land conform to their old cultures, life styles, religion, and language. This is a classic example of my basic premise: insanity.
If these people are so infatuated with their old culture why did they escape from their homelands (other than they were being murdered)? Why do they think that the promised land should bow to their culture? If their culture is so great perhaps they should go back to what they were escaping from. And who in the promised land is voting to surrender our culture to appease these refugees? Insanity.
The official poop on crabbing. Link
sock holes


I finally figured out that the dryer lint is actually the cremated remains of my missing socks.

[“What recourse do people have when your eye glass supplier doesn’t give you the right ‘script and won’t honor the take-back”] We get our eyes examined and glasses purchased at Walmart. Never a problem. If something is wrong, they always repair or replace
[Traffic Primer] The right lane is for slow asses. The left lane is for passing. Get in the appropriate lane.
How much will the taxpayers in all of Monroe County & FKAA customers including Key West & Ocean Reef have their property taxes & FKAA’s usage bills increased because of lawyers’ fees in fighting lawsuits by residents suing to force the above organizations to follow their own rules, laws, and both the Florida and U. S. Constitutions? I guess the residents down here have too much money to care about these unjust costs. And what about these triple increases in your FKAA utility bills.


[Bacon wrapped cheese stuffed meatloaf] Why? Because nobody wants to die eating a carrot.

How disappointing that the WD in Marathon removed the automatic scanners.  Now we have to go through the human cashiers.  Not my favorite thing
bible dollar sign[TBN – The Bible Network]  The carnival-like hucksters on this channel become millionaires off the donations of gullible, easily led, emotionally needy people who actually believe their whimpering, tear filled bullcrap.  Remember Jim and Tammy Fay Baker.  Two of the biggest rip-off artists that ever appeared on the network.  Then we had Jan Crouch (recently passed) who was very much a Tammy Fay look-alike in her Vegas showgirl wig and overdone makeup.  Not to mention the suave looking shyster that she partnered with to bilk the faithful out of their hard earned money to pay for their mansions, luxury cars and lavish lifestyles, all in the name of God who they simply use as a tool to amass wealth.  How do people believe and fall for this stuff and actually sit down and write checks (or call in with a credit card number) and continue to send them money?  It’s simply hard to believe that people are that easily duped.
Driverless cars scare the hell out of me, but they have to be better than 50% of the idiots on the road now.
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Piracy is alive and well on this planet, it is just called uncontrolled business now. A lot of people want to remove more regulations on business.
great-wall-of-china[“Wall around the White House”] Nope. you missed it. What the writer was comparing was the need for a wall. The White House feels it needs a wall to keep out the unwanted folks. Just like America needs a wall to keep out the unwanted & unregistered folks. Nothing to do with how big, how hard it would be, or how much it would cost. I think China built a wall a few years back that was very impressive –and worked.
[Paula Skolnik Krinsky] Sad new today from Paula’s husband Mickey that Paula has passed away.  If I get a copy of the obituary, I will forward to everyone.

I only have Paula’s email address, but Mickey probably has access if anyone wants to send him a note of sympathy.

[Junk Mail] I get all kinds of junk advertising email. Here’s what I’d like to do.  I want to automatically reassign them to the Florida politicos’ emails so they get inundated with this crap. The only way I know is to fill in each junk email with the politico’s address. Any other way to do this without going to jail?

Hate junk email? Get the email addresses of your Florida Representatives and forward it to them and let them receive all the junk emails you get too! Link


I talked with political commentator Alex Symington a while last night at Taco Bell. He remains really stirred up and worried with the national and international political scenes. I agreed it’s a real mess and said the only safe way through politics is to view it as comedy and theater. That’s my psychotherapy for you today. Alex chuckled.

[Captain Doom and Gloom] DEF: Stupidity n, When fearless leaders are too dumb to close the gates.
DEF: Invasion n, An attack by remorsefulness vermin or insects.
DEF: Disease n, Something that infects from books with symbols on the covers!
DEF: America n, An old world country erased from history by idiots.
DEF: Freedom n, That which was lost to insanity.
DEF: Earth n, The third cinder orbiting Sol.
DEF: Race n, Members of independent species melded into a brown goo in a very large petri dish.
DEF: Senior n, Old guys suffering from shrinkage.
DEF: Hag n, Old chicks suffering from shrinkage.
DEF: Bar-Fly n, A Happy Hour Insect
DEF: Bar-Stool n, Slippage from someone’s Depends.
DEF: DEF, n, An attempt at humor from the terminally bored
Why do fishing show hosts act like complete douche bags? I have seen a lot of fishing shows and would not want to fish with any of those dudes. I’m convinced they don’t act that way when they are not being filmed, which is like complete douche bags. Maybe they go to douche bag fishing show school to learn how to be a fishing show douche bag. Sometimes I wonder if watching douche bags fishing will make me a little douchie. I don’t think I’m going to watch anymore douche bag fishing shows.
] Many of us, of all political stripes, have been bitching and moaning that our choices in this Presidential election are so bad…so excruciatingly bad. I’m rethinking the whole mess.  I now believe that the choices are crystal clear. The choices become clear once you strip aside the crappy persona of the candidates.Forget about the candidates. Just think about what they stand for..what they tell us they plan to do. (continued on the National Politics page …)
[FTR] Whoa…whao…wait just a flaming minute! Did we just hear Hillary railing about the danger of Trump foreign policy? How in the merry hell can she have the stones to knock anyone else given the maelstrom her and O have created for the US and it foreign relations? From jump street her performance was so substandard that it was almost comical. The international equivalent of a Hillary, the Clown, zooming around the world stage breaking things and looking incredibly foolish. (continued on the National Politics page …)
[FTR]  A poster wrote: “It be funny if it wasn’t so sad. For months FTR guy and his ilk have been lambasting the front runner of their party. Now that he’s the heir apparent they have been trampling people to kiss der Führer’s butt.”
The truly sad thing is that some here have the incredible ability to completely ignore reality or the truth. (continued on the National Politics page …)
[FTR] A poster wrote: “If Clinton wins it has been determined that social security and our veterans will see their benefits decline in an effort to save money. President Obama stated in his first year that he will fix the VA. it is now much worse today. I’m very worried indeed.”

Deer Friend you should be worried…very worried. Both sides are tossing around bales of BS. But there is a reality hidden in there. Especially about Social Security. (continued on the National Politics page …)

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