2016 June

Friday, June 17, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

Jim Hendrick handcuffs


It comes as no surprise that Jim Hendrick, the convicted crooked lawyer, is representing the developers of Dolphin Marina. Hendrick would sell his soul for a buck, if he even had a soul.

O.K. … O.K. … We now know that a whale of a lot of Big Piners are really pissed that Nobel House wants to build a gated community at Dolphin. Personally I hate the idea. We need to gentrify BPK like one of the Winn Dixie hens needs lips. It will be a detriment to all who live on and around BPK.

But I wonder how many have actually done anything about it? Has anyone voiced their opinion to our local County Commish, George Neugent?  He’s been around a long, long time.

george nugent checkGeorge doesn’t live on BPK, but he does have an office here. George is not elected by just the people in his district, he’s elected by countywide vote. George takes donations for his campaigns from all up and down the Keys. It’s no secret that all the big money in Keys is at Key West and at Ocean Reef.

But George is supposed to watch out of the interests of the district to which he was elected. That’s BPK. Oh Yeah, there are no term limits here in Monroe County either.

So, if you want to find out just how dedicated George is to meeting the needs and wants of the people of his district, just give his office a call at 305 872 1678; or you can email him at

As I understand it the County Commish has the final say.

Give George a call. I know that he would be delighted to hear from his constituents.

[Uber in the Keys] The long and the short of the Uber in Key West workshop in Old City Hall yesterday evening is the city will take no action before the law makers in Tallahassee take action. Currently, there is a city ordinance keeping Uber out of Key West.

Uber-taxiAs I recall, three locals spoke in favor of Uber, because they like it. Three Libertarians spoke in favor of Uber, because the free market should rule. A Uber spokesperson from Miami spoke in favor, said he can provide facts countering the nays. Naja Girard, co-publisher of Key West the Newspaper, spoke with him twice that I saw.

A few citizens, who are not taxi cab drivers, spoke mostly against Uber. One interesting comment from a woman speaker, Uber just made a huge deal for Uber to be in Saudi Arabia, where women are not allowed to drive vehicles for hire.

A horde of cabbies spoke against Uber. Many endearing anecdotal stories of what cabbies do for people, which Uber does and will not do. One cabbie said, if there are no cabs, Key West is screwed during a hurricane.

Two cab company owners spoke. One said they are going to a smart phone app that is better than Uber’s ap. The other owner said he is retired, is trying to get out of the business. If the city takes away his retirement plan, by letting Uber in, he will get through it. But he is not okay with the city destroying the lives of 250 cabbies and their families, 1,000 people, making them need government subsidized housing, or be homeless.

During my citizen comments, I compared the city letting Uber in and destroying 1,000 people’s lives to the city recently giving its affordable housing nest egg to a south Florida privateer, to save the people living at market rate Peary Court apartments from having to find new places to live.

I said, if you let Uber in, you need to vet its drivers like you would vet someone you entrust with your children, spouse, parents and cousins. And you make sure they live down here, and are not coming down here from Miami to mine Key West and leave with their earnings, after sleeping here in their cars, which is a crime in Key West. To make sure they live down here, you make them show driver licenses, vehicle tags and apartment leases, or deeds, proving they live below Seven Mile Bridge. You don’t want to be in President Obama and his FBI’s position some day, over Orlando massacre, having let in someone you should have kept out of here.

Of the elected city officials, only city commissioner Sam Kaufman spoke in favor of Uber. He said he uses it when he is away from Key West. He likes it. Many citizens tell him they want it in Key West. But where were those many citizens last night?

City commissioners Billy Wardlow, Clayton Lopez, Jimmy Weekley and Richard Payne spoke against Uber.

A general theme was, Uber might work well on the mainland, but this ain’t the mainland; this is a small island city, with heaps of traffic congestion already.

There was serious concern about Uber lawsuits elsewhere, and Uber pulling out of cities where their drivers were required to have background checks, be fingerprinted, and meet the same code enforcement requirements cab drivers have to meet.

There was concern that Uber drivers are only covered by Uber’s liability insurance when they are carrying passengers. They are not covered when they are headed to pick up a passenger, nor when they are simply cruising around. Their own private insurance does not cover them when they are engaging in commercial activity. Stories were told of people being injured or killed by Uber drivers, and there was no insurance coverage and the city where it happened got sued.




Welcome to Disneyworld. They have a new mascot!

[“Assault rifles”] Unfortunately, there are many in our society who want to twist the argument to claim that intentions are unreasonable in developing responsible gun legislation. This leads me to ask them 3 questions;

1) Who is advocating taking away all the guns? That has not been the basis of any reputable movement that I have seen, so stop representing it that way. Any don’t bring up the box-cutter argument from 9-11. There is no way 49 victims would be dead in Orlando if all he had was a box cutter.

2) Why do you need a gun that fires over 100 rounds a minute? I understand why you want it. You think it’s fun to go out and shoot that much. And maybe you are a little paranoid that a zombie apocalypse or infrastructure collapse is imminent. But any of those bizarre preoccupations makes me less comfortable with you having any weapon.

3) Why, when someone expresses their own opinion, on their own page, do you feel the appropriate action is to post profanity and insults in a reply? Childish behavior should keep people from having any weapons. You are quickly becoming a poster-child for gun control.

This country has to do a better job or steering in a direction of common sense and away from tyrannical bigotry and power mongering. It’s hard to be “great again” if the place is being run by violence-preaching criminals with failed business plans.

[“Assault weapons”] There may be a way to allow the ammo-sexuals among us to enjoy firing their automatic and semi-automatic assault weapons without being a threat to the rest of us. The government could allow licensed, regulated firing ranges to supply semi-automatic and fully automatic weapons to be fired only on the range. That way all these folks could get their thrills whenever they want to. It would be kind of like adult book stores where folks go looking for another form of gratification. They could even have intimate little booths for shooters to go into with their buddies and fire their guns together.
book stack[Free Books] This summer, United Way of the Florida Keys is working with community partners to distribute over 400 free books to children throughout the Keys. Books are included in literacy kits prepared by volunteers from the Key West Sunset Rotary as part of the United Way “Day of Action”. The kits included free books, pens, alphabet practice sheets, and interactive crafts to help young readers engage with their stories, and will be delivered to children from Tavernier to Key West.  If you are interested in learning more about literacy kit distributions, please contact
[Saturday Night Live] Julia Louis-Dreyfus does commercial for battery-operated Mercedes AA Class car. Video
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The folks that own Dolphin Marina, Noble House, can do as they please with it. It belongs to them. They can charge $7.50 a gallon for your boat gas,6 bucks a dozen for shrimp, $13.50 for a six pack of beer or soda or water. Why? Because they own it. We don’t. I have been here for a very long time, I have seen change, from Judds, Cash & Carry to Winn Dixie, no doctors to 1/2 dozen Doc’s, fishing on the Old Wooden Bridge when it was an old wooden bridge. What in the world would give anyone the right to tell Noble House what they can do with Dolphin Marina? My hopes were to grow old and end my life here on Big Pine Key. I don’t know if that will be possible with the changes that are, and those that, have taken place. That may very well be a darn shame, that’s also life. Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change. I hope Noble House can please all of you because they sure don’t have to do Jack.
Noble House Hotels & Resorts link.
veterans day salute flag


[“Jury duty”] I’m 76 years old and every time I get a jury summons I write them back declining jury duty. See, I served my country in a different way. I signed the blank check for my first 6 years in the Marines and went off to the land of Bad Things. Then the next 24 years in the US Army, serving as an Operations Sgt. in a Special Forces Group. I retired as a 1st Sgt. In an Armored Cavalry Troop. I have 2 artificial knees, was shot in the leg, had my ears blown out, got a re-built elbow, and part of my left hip screwed up. I am 80% disabled. I feel I did my share. Let someone else give something to their country instead of just taking

[Murder For Hire] Bruce Schmitt should have had a boat or lower unit stolen. Then, maybe, the authorities would have been more likely to find everyone involved in the murder-for-hire plot against him. Now, today, the bad guys still run the city without fear of being caught
kohen-low-tideOn this Coconut Telegraph I read a lot of comments about the Florida Keys by people living here.  As an old English teacher who moved here in 1974, I find it quite obvious that some folks here live in the Florida Keys, and some folks here live on the Florida Keys. That’s a big difference! Why did you move here?
[Stomach Germs] That gut feeling. Audio
[“Credit cards”] Credit cards are much better than debit cards because with my Amazon Visa I get 2% back on everything I buy from them and 1% back on all else. Plus they guarantee against fraud to the point where I’m not libel. Plus they guarantee the products you buy. Debit cards don’t do that and you have to always worry if you have enough in them. I pay my credit card off every month and have never paid one cent in interest. I just buy what I can afford. Debit cards are good if you don’t manage your money well, then they are for you.
dolphin-marina-gulf-sign00[Dolphin Marina] I called Commissioner Nugent’s office to voice my opposition to the Dolphin Marina expansion. The answerer said Nugent wasn’t there (surprise, surprise) and that the vote wouldn’t come up until November. That was a waste.

I wanted to tell him that we placed regulations on development for a reason. If that ‘reason’ goes unchecked, the Keys will look like Miami. It was a lot of trouble and took many years to get all those restrictions in place. The law says no new buildings that aren’t already permitted. I don’t care if it’s theirs and they own the place. They agreed to these restrictions when they bought the place. They certainly knew about them. No compromises. No new buildings, and definitely no new gates!

There’s an interesting debate on Uber. The Key West cabbie monopoly doesn’t want competition – boo hoo.  If they had a better service, they wouldn’t have to worry.  But the rates are obscene, and the stories are many of their rudeness and driving discourtesy (I think we’ve all been cut off by a cab in KW).

Their arguments are thin – worries about poor service (Uber drivers get ratings, when you reserve, you can reject a driver with poor ratings. It’s based on  eBay’s seller ratings), out of town drivers coming here (the local folks would be likely the most prevalent drivers), and safety (these are local people driving in their neighborhoods).

As most who have traveled outside the Keys know – Uber and Lyft are everywhere and wildly popular and super convenient.  I think the County Commission needs to think about keeping the Keys competitive with Cuba opening up, and the rising costs of visiting the Keys. Them turning down such a popular service because they don’t understand it is short sighted and will give tourism a black eye (see Trip Advisor, etc as examples of internet based tourism transformation tools).

Just like the real estate industry adopted to the internet posting of listings, the taxi/livery folks better figure out how to be competitive and offer better service if they want to survive and not to try and claim a monopolistic unfair advantage

tomatoes diced

I’m an old fart and remember tomatoes. Six weeks ago I went to the WD and bought one of those tomatoes that are still attached to the vine, cluster tomatoes. I was going to use it on a BLT, but I didn’t have bacon. So it’s been sitting on the kitchen table now for 6 weeks and doing nothing. It’s as hard as the day I bought it, no signs of spoilage, no nothing. And I know that if and/or when I do decide to eat it it’ll taste like nothing. So what is it? Oh, and what about the let’s-pretend-that-they’re-strawberries? With all this messing around with mother nature and consuming all this plastic food I wonder if humans will evolve with plastic parts.

I believe in America as the framers intended. And I believe in telling the truth and taking responsibility for my actions. Sometimes I slip, I’m human.
[Visitor Center] The comment period for the proposed new refuge visitor center on US 1 close to the light, ends today 6/17. Please send comments to The thought of an increase in traffic in that area boggles the mind. Tell them to stay where they are!
[Terrorist Alligator Kills Kid in Orlando] A toddler was eaten Wednesday at a Disney resort in Orlando, FL. A connection with ISIS has been reported. Link
an_credit card montage2[Credit Cards] They do nothing but extent your debt so you have to pay high interest rates, so why not just use a debit card? If you don’t have the savings stored for purchases, don’t buy anything. But that is too simple for the average Joe.
What’s up with the local TV commercials showing people drinking beer on the beach and saying, “A beach in every bottle”? And then when I have a beer on the beach I get an $80 ticket.  What a county.




Take it easy perverts, it’s just an attractive sweet potato, but I do think I knew her!

Teen has a plan to turn waste water into electricity. Video
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[Uber] I think those who are against Uber haven’t used it, which would be typical of government.
strip-mall[Tasteless Development] Look what happened to Summerland Key. The Route 1 strip turned into a trash strip of ugly businesses and junk shops typical of low rent folks who have no taste or esthetics.
[2d Amendment Obligation] Why didn’t the cops ask who was carrying firearms in that Orlando nightclub and why didn’t they use them?


Has anyone gone to the windsurfing place on Grassy Key?

[Calculus] The speed in which a woman says, “Nothing.” when asked, “What’s wrong?” is inversely proportional to the severity of the coming storm.
I can see the future front line during a battle where the commander yells, “CHARGE!” and the troops whip out their credit cards! Manhood is gone in America.


I guess the key deer can’t read English, as they are gulping down that “Bad Bacteria Water”.  Thanks FKAA.

[Uber] Key West taxi driver said they are coming out with a better app than Uber’s. Ha ha, hehe, some taxi driver’s going to make a better app than the $65.5 billion company, Uber, can? Why is this guy even driving a cab if he’s so smart.


[The Southernmost Car Club] This Saturday, June 18th, 2016 at 4pm to 7pm This is our summertime event to enjoy beautiful cars and trucks, customs and classics. The event is at The Sugarloaf Lodge, mm17. This is a free event for all. We will have ice cream for all visitors. The Tiki Bar is open as well. Pizza is here too. Kids are welcome. Club hats and shirts can be purchased.

Is it safe to tour Key West? (Ed: What does that mean?)
cloud face blows wind

[Wind] They have big bucks for a new facility for Mote Marine Labs, but we still can’t get accurate wind speeds from Long Key and Sombrero reef? (Ed: Try the free Buoyweather app for Android. I’ve found the wind speeds pretty accurate down around Big Pine.)

[Howard Stern’s Anti-Gun Control Rant] Most people are sheep and the wolves are attacking. Audio
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[“Gated resort to protect the rich from us”] It is about time these beautiful Keys get cleaned and become the playground for the rich and infamous instead being inundated with low renters and the less than functional working classes. There are a million square feet per island begging to be cleaned and developed into resorts for the rich and dignified that are now wasted on tin housing and idiots. Let the people of Little Palm Inc. build us up and make the Keys the exotic local it should be.


Lionfish now available at Whole Foods in Florida. Link

Port Pine Heights Property Owners Association newsletter. PPHOApost-SUMMER 2016 DRAFT-2
DNA spirals ball


My kid asked me if DNA has anything to do with gay life styles. Good question I think!

Weed makes you stupid. If you think weed dose not make you stupid, read the first four words in this post dumbass.
Johnsons-ad 4.12.2016
What happened to the security guards in that Orlando bar of death?
galleon rocking


French privateers and even government ships attacked English commerce, and during 1649 and 1650 took English shipping to the amount of five thousand tons, and goods worth half a million.

[“Gun deaths”] Deer Mr. 5950, Thank you so much informing everyone how many deaths by gun fire in the USA so far this year. Something must be done. Oops, that’s not right. What I meant to say is that, so far this year (according to the NTSB) about 1500 deaths and 192,306 injuries have taken place because of distracted driving, i.e. cell phone usage.

Now, while distracted driving is proportional, I seriously doubt that gun deaths are. I stated my sources for my statistics, please inform the public where your statistics come from because they’re quite different than anything I can research. It’s the internet and anyone can say anything. I still think that the government is there to help you and me

cow 2 heads

[We Love GMOs and Vaccines] Biotech for a brighter tomorrow. To the uninformed using this site to post crazy comments about GMO products and Lyme disease I would suggest this link

There is a vast difference between a real assault rifle and a fake assault rifle. One is fully automatic firing and extremely illegal to have and the other is a single shot per trigger pull like any hunting rifle. Anyone having a fully auto assault rifle got it illegally and will go to jail.



Gender-neutral restrooms.

[Funny Fish Compilation] For those who still like the great outdoors and catching fish, holding on to them is another matter.  Video
[“Gated development to keep out trash”] This should have been installed at MM 112 when Flagler started the RR and kept locked!


[Kids’ Fun] Join our special guests from the National Weather Service Saturday on June 18 from 10:00 am to 11:00 am. Kids in kindergarten through fifth grade are invited to the Florida Keys Eco-Discovery Center (35 East Quay Road, Key West) to learn all about clouds and the weather. June is the beginning of hurricane season and it is important for everyone to learn about the weather and forecasting. There will be games and hands on activities. For more information contact 305-809-4750. Space is limited, so please call to register.

Notice only the pacifists and reality rejectionists love it that the Political Section is not on the main CT? It goes to show who reads and responds to real world problems that are more important than the weekly gossip of locals. (Ed: I wonder how he drew that conclusion? Another reason to separate National Politics from reality.)
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[Redneck America] It doesn’t take another kick in my face to tell me we Americans are in deep shit and these illegals and invaders need to be dealt with now. It’s to the point that my friends and I don’t give a damn what the cops or government says about guns, we will carry something to defend ourselves and our homes regardless

8-10 AM. The morning mix. Radio for retards.
CIA Director John Brennan’s testimony to Congress was shocking. It was shocking on several levels.
It was stunning to see a display of honesty on the part of the Obama administration.
It was shocking to learn that our nation, our society, faces more danger from foreign entities than any time in his memory. (continued on the National Politics page …)
Submit anything but National Politics to For National Politics go directly to that page, log in, and post your comment. NATIONAL POLITICS

national politics an(Click here)