2023 June

Friday, June 23, 2023

The un-social media since 2002 with 60,000 followers.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

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[Ozzy Osborn’s Interview With Black Sabbath] Then our singer left, so I decided to make a fresh go of ‘Rare Breed’. First, I needed a singer. At a music shop, I saw a notice that said, “Ozzy Zig needs a gig.” I left word at his house. The next day, a shoeless, head- shaven Ozzy Osbourne with a chimney brush over his shoulder was at my door.  ~Geezer Butler, bassist for Black Sabbath
Best Editor quote ever: “Editor: That’s why I separate the political stuff from reality. It’s hard to believe that some people are so ill informed and hateful that they make important statements based on what they would like to see happen instead of facts.”
[Crooks] French police search Paris Olympics headquarters amid embezzlement investigation. Link

Wednesday was the Summer Solstice. It’s summertime again (groan).

[Friday Joke] Who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt!’ Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents’ objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.  ~Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt

[Who You Gonna Call] Soldiers jam drones with blocky Dronebuster guns. Hand-held drone jammers are a relatively new military tool. Take a look at the devices in action. Link
[“Grass for the stupid”] That’s similar to them repaving a road then shortly thereafter digging it up to lay pipes, tearing it up again to widen the road and repaving it again then tearing it up again to lay sewers then repaving it.

I think cookbooks just might be coming back. Following the recipes online are so hard to find the ingredients among all the unrelated ads and videos that it’s just too frustrating trying to get a recipe online any longer. Link

[Friday Joke] They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. ~Clint Eastwood
[Friday Joke] When l was a boy l was told that anybody could become President. I’m beginning to believe it.  ~Clarence Darrow
My favorite tropical weather page over decades in the Keys have changed, some great sites. One of my go-to sites was Crown Weather Services but they changed to subscription model that I thought it was pricey at the time. Just disappear from one year to the next but for the last several years Mikes Weather Page is the one I keep returning to and I send him small monthly donations, the price of a cup of coffee, to help him sustain his site. Weather sites are a dime a dozen. National Hurricane Center (NHC) is great but Mike includes NHC’s latest and has details, discussion and spaghetti models you won’t find at NHC. At Mikes you have the option of looking and getting a quick update but also have the option of many more details- check out his site. Link
[Fake Meat] U.S. Regulators approved synthetic lab grown meat. Video
[Tasteless Video] the first of the many tastless videos to come of the Titanic submarine crew member shows moment doomed vessel descends underwater. Video
[Captain Doom and Gloom] What are the most powerful controls on earth: Religions (Sheep herders), Electric Generating companies, Water Works, Communication, Marketing, Food Suppliers, Arms and Military, Politics.
[Buying Gold] I had Goldco Precious Metals try to scam me big time. A slick-talking con man salesman said he had a rare opportunity to buy Double Eagle coins he had just gotten from an estate that were worth much more than he would sell them to me for. Riiight!
Gold $1969, Silver $24.41, Platinum $1004, Palladium $1458.
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[Gong] My wife hit her head on the countertop while bending over to do something! It sounded exactly like Big Ben at noon!
[Reporting] It’s sad the way the news interferes with current events, be it war, crime, or the Titanic research sub. Let the professionals fix it, catch them, or find it, then have your darn news conference when the mission is completed.

How do I beat the heat? Plenty of whole grain wheat smoothies with barley and hops throughout the day served extra cold. Preferably in a bottle but I ain’t picky.

[Friday Joke] I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
[More and More Electric Vehicles] A few months wen by since Tesla installed 8 charging stations behind Winn Dixie. At first there was non or one EV using the chargers, Yesterday, almost all the chargers were occupied. What will EV owners do when they are all filled and you are empty?
[Friday Joke] Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria of a mental hospital.
[FBI] J. Edgar Hoover was the worst kind of closet gay. He was vindictive, short (wouldn’t promote anyone in his office who was taller), stuttered, had a germ phobia, dressed in woman’s clothes, and lived with his mother.
The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 6/23/23 at 8:04 am.