2017 May

Friday, May 26, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

[Remaking the Keys] I wish the FDOT would quit trying to make the Keys looks like where they live. They won’t stop messing with the Keys until they look like Florida’s west coast. If they want to make the Keys more beautiful, trim down the buttonwood trees along the sides of the road so we can see the water better. Stop planting palms and aluminum fences that obscure the water. US1 isn’t called the Overseas Highway for nothing! Let;’s see more of it instead of obscuring it so it looks like Fort Meyers. Stop messing with the Saddlebunch Keys. Trimming back the buttonwood trees to improve the view is the only improvement I would like to see happen.
[“Who is the guy who’s got a bug up his butt for the FKAA”] That guy knows what he is talking about. He is showing you that the corrupt FKAA installed an inferior system for their own profit. If you are a homeowner down here you will be paying for their incompetence forever.  I also remember when people called Walt D. (dump the pumps) a kook. They were wrong.



Where’s this year’s baby deer? I only saw one about two weeks ago. Usually there are four or five around my place.

[How to Report Illegal Immigrants] If you would like to report illegal aliens, please call Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) at 1-866-DHS-2ICE (347-2423). They will need to know names, locations (either work place or residence) and any other specific information you can provide. Visit for more information. Link



The wife wanted a screened in patio.

I was sitting with my wife at her high school reunion and noticed that she kept staring at a drunk man sitting alone and swigging his drink.  I asked her if she knew him and she said, “Yes. He’s an old boyfriend that I dumped after graduation. I heard that he hasn’t been sober a day since.” I said, “Wow, and he’s still celebrating after all these years.”  That’s when the fight started.
[Maintaining Property Value] I live on a fairly high end community with property values averaging $1,000,000. If some schmuck decided to build a commercial business on a property along Route 1, and make an eyesore that will lower property values in the entire community, can I sue for losses? Can I sue the county? Just like the muffler shop that was proposed for Shark Key, which was “cancelled” due to feedback from the property owners. Can other areas do the same or do we have to make a phone call to friends in low places to fix it?
[Volunteers wanted to help save the endangered Bartram’s Hairstreak butterfly] Have you seen the new temporary fencing in the pine rocklands on Big Pine Key? The National Key Deer Refuge has partnered with Institute for Regional Conservation and John Pennekamp State Park “Key Largo Nursery” to restore pineland croton in the pine rockland habitat.  Pineland croton is the sole host plant for the critically endangered Bartram’s scrub-hairstreak butterfly. This fencing is protecting young pineland croton plants from Key deer and other herbivores until they get established. Fencing is marked with flagging to make sure that it is seen by people and wildlife, and will be removed within 3 years of planting.

Volunteer Opportunity–We will be holding a volunteer planting day on Saturday, May 27th from 9 am – 10:30 am. Come out and help us plant pineland croton plants to help prevent the extinction of this beautiful butterfly! Contact Kate Watts, Wildlife Biologist, for more info:

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has limits.



[Slider Picnic and Bake Sale] On Sunday May 28th at the Big Pine Moose Lodge join us for our Slider Picnic and Bake Sale. Live music by the Pinebillies Porch Band. Don’t let their name fool you, they’re a great neighborhood band who play a little bit of everything. This is going to be a fun event and one not to be missed. It’s open to members and qualified guests.

Not a member and looking to join? visit the lodge for an application.

[Key Deer] Those rascals always have me running down stairs to see what mischief they’ve gotten into. Sometimes it sounds like the downstairs is under attack they make so much racket, knocking things over and trying to get into garbage cans and all.
[“Cause of the Civil War”] “Slave state still allowed to be Union soldiers” The war was about slavery. It just took everyone a long time to outright admit it. It was always about slavery. But in order to get the political support in Washington, the anti-slavery politicians had to make grand promises to the slave states’ representatives to get the necessary votes to keep the States United.  As with all wars there are many things that don’t make sense, but the American Civil War was always about slavery.
Welfare was never intended to be a career opportunity.



[Turn] 99% of drivers have no idea.

[“Lawn care too expensive”] Enjoy yourself working in your own yard in the blazing sun if you don’t think the worker is worth the money. We all have mortgages and rents to pay.
[Finning] The Florida Legislature passed a bill that speaks directly to the problem of removing shark fins at sea and throwing the carcass back in the water. Domestic shark fishermen must record every shark taken and must bring in the whole shark. The practice of ‘shark finning’ is carried out in some rogue foreign countries, not under a regulated shark management plan. The seafood industry and the many restaurants that serve shark thank the Florida legislature for listening to both sides of the issue.
The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, May 27, 10 am at the senior center.  Hope to see you there. Full Menu > Ongoing Events
[Liar, D.C.] I’ve been watching the D.C. hearings on TV and find it odd that they can’t get anyone to tell the truth, or at least, the whole truth. I’ve concluded there’s no honesty in Washington.


[“DC3 Dakota’s flat windshield”] Flat windshields reflect light in one direction whereas curved windshields will reflect light in many directions. The Messerschmitt ME-109 had flat windshields and were harder to spot. The F4U2 Corsair‘s curved windshield made them easy to spot on a sunny day.

I can’t believe the ignorance of some “Gringos who love Latinas“.  More than half of the nation’s immigrants receive some kind of government welfare, a figure that’s far higher than the native-born population’s. About 51% of immigrant-led households receive at least one kind of welfare benefit, including Medicaid, food stamps, school lunches and housing assistance, compared to 30% for native-led households, according to the report from the Center for Immigration Studies, a group that advocates for lower levels of immigration.



[Horney Truck] This’ll create its own road rage from hell. Somebody shoot that damn thing! Video

Best bacon in America! Link

[Celebration of Service] POWS reunite after 40 years. Deer Ed, this is important to those of us that served in this awful time in our nation’s history.  These men were tough heroes and deserve all respect from all of us. Thank you for your consideration.  ~Ed from upstate Link

[Sewers] It looks like the sewer fiasco might wind up in federal court because it is not going to work. That has been said by professionals ever since this mess started. The only system that will work is a completely closed system where poo goes in and wawa comes out and the leftovers are used for something else.
[Friday Joke] The old people who lived there have small apartments, but they all eat at a central cafeteria. One morning one of the residents didn’t show up for breakfast so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK.  She could hear him through the door, and he said that he was running late and would be down shortly so she went back to the dining area.

An hour later he still hadn’t arrived, so she went back up towards his room and she found him on the stairs. He was coming down the stairs but was having a hell of time.  He had a death grip on the hand rail and seemed to have trouble getting his legs to work right.

She told him she was going to call an ambulance, but he told her no, he wasn’t in any pain and just wanted to have his breakfast.  So she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs and he had his breakfast.

When he tried to return to his room he was completely unable to get up even the first step, so they called an ambulance for him.  A couple hours later she called the hospital to see how he was doing.

The receptionist there said he was fine, he just had both of his legs in one leg of his boxer shorts.




[Historical Reminder] Snowflakes beat the Nazis in Russia.

[“Someone to install a safety bar for my walk-in shower”] You forgot to say what you are willing to pay! Will you consider my time going to look at your job? My time going to the hardware store for fasteners and whatever else I might need? The actual time it takes me to install the bar? Do you realize that I have to charge enough in case the tiles crack and I have to replace them, or in case I hit a pipe in the wall? $20? Forget it.

All those reasons are why no reputable, licensed person, will work a small job. There’s just no profit in it. I charge $60 an hour. Someone complained a few days ago about landscapers charging $50 an hour. We know what it takes to stay in business and that’s 50-60 dollars an hour.

[Breast Cancer] A study from Hartford, Connecticut found 50- 60% higher levels of organochlorines (chlorinated water byproducts) in the breast tissue of woman with breast cancer than in those without breast cancer. About 12% of US women will develop breast cancer, and drinking centrally distributed tap water has been implicated. So have mammograms, contrary to what the mainstream fear mongering breast cancer fund raisers and medical providers will tell you. One mammogram exposes your breast to the equivalent of 1,000 chest x-rays, and the squashing can rupture any encapsulated tumors that might otherwise have been destroyed by your immune system. Beware of advice from those organizations heavily funded by chemo drug providers or otherwise profiting from mammograms. Big salaries motivate deceit. Thermography is a safe and effective alternative to a mammogram but insurance may not pay for it. Here is one article on the mammogram risk. Link
Sewers are the biggest thing to happen to the Keys since replacing the bridges in the 80s. That’s why there’s so much discussion. And the fact that there’s wide spread fear that there’s going to be trouble with this system.
[“HDPE pipe”] I read this week about a poster trying to scare everyone about HDPE pipe. Which is High-Density Polyethylene and not some cheap doghouse that he bought. You know he is just trying to scare readers. You can read all you want about HDPE pipe and its numerous uses all over the world at this link

[Eyeglasses] My eyeglass frame broke so while I waited for it to get fixed I went to Walgreens to buy a pair of glasses. There were about one hundred pair for reading but not one pair for seeing far away. Does anyone know why you can’t buy over-the-counter distance eyeglasses?

[CNN Worldwide] I returned from a vacation in Europe and noticed that the only American news source is CNN and it’s affiliates there, so everyone we spoke to about politics were against Trump because of what they see. It is now obvious that CNN is slanted against Trump. In an effort to fight back and if you’re a Trump supporter and you have relatives and friends overseas please send them a note about what’s really going on. FOX News is available on the internet. Link
[“Suicide animation”] On Friday the CT had a little graphic on someone’s comment about a rocker’s suicide. It showed a kid on a swing with a rope tied to a person lynched. Who put that there? I assume it was Deer Ed since I know he has done so on some of my comments. Was that supposed to be funny? I don’t get it. Please tell me what I’m missing. (Ed: Suicide’s never funny. I prefer to call the animation ‘poignant”, plus there are scant suicide animations available that I can use in this format.)
[“Underseas dive shop ugly, unkept, messy“] Back in the day when this place was cool. Underseas was the dive shop. They had a lot of parts for spear guns, always had well-priced gear and locals like dealing with locals.
[Sewers] Week after week it seems someone likes posting negative remarks regarding the new wastewater sewer system installed in the Cudjoe Key region. The poster is trying to scare everyone. I’m from the mainland, but after spending some time in the Lower Keys I would think it’s in everyone’s best interest that they are working to help clean up the waters around the Keys.
[Immigration] Let’s stick to facts, name caller who loves Latinas.  Obviously, we know what is leading your life. “In September 2015, the Center for Immigration Studies published a landmark study of immigration and welfare use, showing that 51 percent of immigrant-headed households used at least one federal welfare program — cash, food, housing, or medical care — compared to 30 percent of native households.”



[Stimulants] Is coffee considered dope? How about tea? Seems they should be because of their effects! All other stimulants are illegal.

[Black Flecks In The Tap Water] Stainless steel braid-covered safety connection hoses were removed from a water heater that was just a few years old in Big Pine this week. Shower heads had been clogging with black particles. These are 3/4″ hoses. With a new one you can see through it clearly. No sunlight could be seen at all through a fully straightened old hose it was so coated with black stuff.
We cut across one and it didn’t seem too bad, but when we sliced it open longitudinally, it was found to be very badly deteriorated inside. The chunks of rubber hanging from all directions for the whole length was what totally blocked the view and any light from getting through. These hoses make for an easy DIY job when replacing water heaters, but count on replacing them every few years before they contaminate all the downstream plumbing. Chloramines (chlorine mixed with ammonia) used as tap water disinfectant by FKAA totally destroys neoprene rubber (usually black). On a new water heater hose, there appears to be a white inside liner. Whatever that material is it must be getting destroyed too. Both the new and old hoses that were compared were the pro-quality brand name Watts.


[“Glowing orb”] Behold! Donald Trump and the mysterious glowing orb. Wow, the CT is having a hard time staying off National Politics, I guess you just can’t help it

My life insurance company warned me that they would void my policy if I did any of the following: commit suicide, sky dive, SCUBA dive, bungee jump, race cars, hot air ballooning, mountain climbing, go on any safaris, date a fat NJ chick, do Key West FantasyFest naked, eat at any tiki bar.
[Ignore Celebrity] I cannot understand why people put the dysfunctional, inept, useless, non-productive on pedestals and ridicule the hard workers? It seems to me that the American Farmer and American Mechanics should be up front of the line and politicians, actors, and criminals at the bottom of the barrel. Don’t you just love how the media portrays their meal tickets?
Hope Unity & Global Equality Inc. is very honored to announce that a section of the 1.25 mile Rainbow Flag sewn in Key West will be leading the Equality March for Unity and Pride in Washington D.C., Sunday June 11.  This section sometimes referred to as the ‘Sacred Cloth Project’, has been proudly presented at many historic moments worldwide, and was in DC for the SCOTUS Marriage Equality hearing in 2015. Originally commissioned in 2003 and created by Gilbert Baker for the 25th anniversary of Gilbert’s original 8 color Pride flag, this section has been an iconic and historical artifact present at historical events worldwide. Immediately following the historical march in Washington D.C., it travels to Orlando Florida and will be proudly unveiled at the opening ceremony of ‘Orlando United Day’ June 12 commemorating the one year observance of the Pulse Nightclub and the unprecedented attack on the Orlando LGBT community on June 12, 2016.
I do not care what you call any human that changes their sex, they are still queer in my book!
[Poison water] You definitely want the disinfectant out of your drinking and shower water to protect your health. Be aware that FKAA intentionally exceeds the EPA maximum contaminant level for chloramine in Florida City to try to keep effective levels further away. The chloramine (tested as “total chlorine”) level in Islamorada has often tested above the 4.0 ppm maximum limit regulated by EPA, and it can still be 3.5 in the Lower Keys, even without a chlorine boost in Marathon. In other words, it is especially potent here.

There is a lot of misleading information about whole house water filters out there that claim to get out toxins. I spent over a full day researching, and what I discovered is that what filter marketers do not say is at least as important as what they do say. If you are thinking about a whole house filter, the following should save you time and money. A capable filter is pricey, but not near so pricey as cancer treatment, and a lot more satisfying. If you don’t care, just skip this posting instead of whining about it. If ignorance is bliss, I don’t want to limit your joy.

Most carbon filters that boast they remove chlorine do a poor job at removing the disinfectant that is primarily used by FKAA, which is chloramine (a blend of chlorine and ammonia). You want a “catalytic carbon” filter for chloramine removal because it is vastly superior in effectiveness to other carbon filter choices. If it also has KDF85 media it will be even more effective, longer lasting, and will also kill bacteria that may have made it through.

The usual missing information on filter cartridge specifications regards flow and pressure loss.
The usual standard 2.5″ x 10″ filter size will severely limit flow through a carbon filter. They are usually rated for only 1 gpm (gallons per minute), but that information is not often disclosed because it is way too low for whole house use. A standard 2.5″ x 10″ sediment filter in that size might not restrict flow too much for a whole house application. I just filled a 5 gallon bucket through one in 34 seconds which is 8.8 gpm, but I did not know the filter pore size (measured in microns) or what the flow would be through an upstairs shower head that would offer some resistance.

For flow visualization, your residential water meter will pass a practical maximum flow of 10 gpm (gallons per minute), and that’s about what you get from a high quality 3/4″ garden hose full open. A cheap hose will give you about 5 gpm. An effective shower will want at least 2 gpm and preferably more. So if you are going to take a shower while water is used for something else (dishwasher, toilet refilling, etc.) you will be really disappointed with less than at least a 4 gpm available flow rate, and you really should have more.

In-filter contact time is important for contaminant removal, so the slower the flow through the filter, the better. There are two common solutions to increase flow and increase contact time: a much bigger filter and/or multiple filters piped in parallel so each only handles part of the flow. Another possibility is adding a pressure water storage tank like well pumps have, so that water is filtered slowly to the tank but is available at high flow rate to the point of use for a reasonable length of time. A tank might be cheaper in a short time than multiple parallel filters and lasts much longer than filter media. Also, it provides a back up water supply in case of an outage. A contractor can break a watermain and you might never know. That beats having to use the toilet tank water to get the soap out of your eyes. (Forget using the toilet bowl water. Yes, Fido has been drinking from it and is not dead yet, but Homeboy may have forgotten to flush, and you can’t see because there is soap in your eyes.)

Catalytic carbon filter cartridges are considerably more expensive than activated carbon granule or carbon block, so it is especially important to have a sediment filter before the carbon filter so it does not clog prematurely.

A 2.5 x 10″ sediment filter cartridge is about $5 for just one. That is about 4 times cheaper than a 4.5 x 20″ (“Big Blue” housing) sediment filter, and much more readily available, so that might steer you to smaller parallel sediment filters (if needed). But unless it is just under the sink for drinking and cooking water, you want at least one huge filter for a whole house chloramine removal application using a catalytic carbon cartridge. The 4.5 x 20″ catalytic carbon with KDF85 cartridge costs over $80 but will last about 2-3 years for a family if it is preceded by a good sediment filter. The sediment pre-filters should be change every few months.
Filter cartridges are much cheaper if bought in bulk. That $5 sediment cartridge is only about $1.50 each if you buy 25 at once.

Clear filter housings promote algae growth that will prematurely clog the filter, so avoid them unless used in a normally dark space. Chloramines are toxic to you but deadly to fish.
An occasional test for “total chlorine” (includes free chlorine and combined as chloramine) will tell you when the catalytic carbon filter is failing. 25 test strips are about $13 at an aquarium store like here. Link

[“Cause of the Civil War”] To the “Gone With The Wind” poster. If the war was about slavery why were Delaware, Kentucky, Maryland and Missouri all allowed to keep slaves and still be a part of Union forces?

Cowgirl. Yee Haw then ouch[?].
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