Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.
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![]() There were many moving parts included in this year’s Memorial Day Ceremony. However, we sensed a need to orchestrate nothing less than a magnificent program for our audience and the Gold Star Father that was giving our keynote address. Words are inadequate in describing the beauty and majesty with which each and every component of this elegant mosaic fell wondrously into place. Graciously, Video Dave live-streamed and recorded the event from start to finish. United States Coast Guard Islamorada Station provided us an outstanding “Honor Guard”. They marched meticulously and performed flawlessly in opening the ceremony. Ms. Susan Bazin and our Community Band played the National Anthem to near perfection. An extraordinary lady made a surprise visit and gloriously sung with our band. Deputy Dave Campbell’s bagpipe performance was absolutely awe-inspiring and breathtakingly magnificent. Coupled with a potent video, the stage was set for Gold Star Father Mr. David Wise’s oration. Mr. Wise’s impeccably flawless allocution, describing the life and details of his son’s death, caught the hearts and souls of the audience. “Taps” was played faultlessly, note-perfect. The palpable energy generated from this ceremony healed and changed lives. Thanks so very much for everyone that made this event possible. |
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The June AARP activities calendar is here. Full Menu > Ongoing Events |
![]() Last week’s mass murderer had 1500 rounds of ammo. I pay a dollar a round for .38 specials. The kid spent $1500 on bullets, plus around a grand for the gun. Where did he get all that money? |
[Friday Joke] Inflation is bad. My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. I saw a Mormon with only one wife. McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico. A picture is now only worth 200 words. When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room. The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates. I called to get a Blue Book value on my car. They asked if gas tank was full or empty. |
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[Mother-in-law] It was shortly after we were married. My husband and I were having an argument in her living room, my husband expected her to take his side. She came out of the kitchen and said You are my children, I don’t take sides go home and solve your problems. In all the time she was alive she never took sides, never treated me as anything but a loved daughter equal in affection with her much loved son. She taught me how to be a mother-in-law. You never take sides, you love the people your children married because they love and cherish your child. You don’t criticize them to anyone and you cherish them. I am a very fortunate mother-in-law. My son in law and my daughter in law love me and cherish me |
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![]() [Dog Poop] The planet needs you to pick up your dog’s poop. There are a pile of reasons to scoop, bury, or compost pet waste. Here are just a few. Link |
[Friday Story] That morning, I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, ‘Happy birthday,‘ and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone ‘Happy Birthday. ‘ I thought, well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids, they will remember. My kids came bouncing downstairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for work I felt pretty low and somewhat dejected. As I walked into my office, my handsome boss, Rick, said, “Good morning, pretty lady and by the way Happy Birthday.’ I felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o’clock, when Rick knocked on my door and said, “It’s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch just you and me.” I said, “Thanks Rick, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go.” We went to lunch, but we didn’t go where we normally would go. He chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each, and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office Rick said, ‘It’s such a beautiful day; we don’t need to go straight back to the office, do we?” I responded, “I guess not. What do you have in mind?” He said, “Let’s drop by my place, it’s just around the corner”. After arriving at his house Rick turned to me and said, “If you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.” “Ok,” I nervously replied. He went into the bedroom and after a couple of minutes he came out carrying a huge birthday cake followed by my husband, my kids, my parents and dozens of my friends and co-workers all singing Happy Birthday To You. |
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Found the catnip, did we? |
Cache’s are where you store visited addresses and photos in your operating system’s cache folder. It’s automatic. Full caches are a common problem, and the first thing tech support usually has you do is clear them. Because of different equipment it’s best to just Google: how to clear browser cache. Your cache keeps memories, good and bad. The worst that can happen is next time it may take longer to load your sites –just the first time. When you do this, the browser will store the site’s meta data in your cache location for next time’s fast loading. You should do this periodically anyway.
In most web browsers, you can open menus used to clear cache, cookies, and history, by pressing Ctrl-Shift-Delete (Windows) or Command-Shift-Delete (Mac). |
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[Oldsters] Welcome to your 60s, where your back pain-face and your orgasm-face are the same face. |
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[Practice Safe |
![]() When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass. A man reclining on the couch asked, ‘Are you the people that broke my window?’ ‘Uh…yeah! , sir. We’re sure sorry about that,’ the husband replied. ‘Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I’m a genie, and I’ve been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you’ve released me, I’m allowed to grant three wishes. I’ll give you each one wish, but if you don’t mind, I’ll keep the last one for myself.’ Wow, that’s great!’ the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, ‘I’d like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.’ ‘No problem,’ said the genie ‘You’ve got it, it’s the least I can do. And I’ll guarantee you a long, healthy life!’ ‘And now you, young lady, what do you want?’ the genie asked. ‘I’d like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants,’ she said. ‘Consider it done,’ the genie said. ‘And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary, and natural disasters’ And now,’ the couple asked in unison, ‘what’s your wish, genie?’ ‘Well, since I’ve been trapped in that bottle, and haven’t been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.’ The husband looked at his wife and said, ‘Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune and all those houses. What do you think?’ She mulled it over for a few moments and said, ‘You know, you’re right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn’t mind, but what about you, honey?’ You know I love you, sweetheart,’ said the husband. I’d do the same for you!’ So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes, and asked, How old are you and your husband?’ ‘Why we’re both 35,’ she responded breathlessly. ‘No Kidding,’ he said. ‘Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies? |
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[“Hairy Nose”] Sounds like a wise guy from the days of the Teflon Don. You know, the friend of Joe The Lip. |
![]() [World Oceans Day] Coastlove are holding a World Oceans Day event on June 12th at the Big Pine Community Park from 12 – 4. |
I was told by my bartender/lawyer there has never been a case of suing anybody in the Keys for medical malpractice because no one gets a legal license with the feathers and tambourine kit! [?] |
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[Friday Joke] “Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else”, said the madam. He replied, “No, I must see Valerie.” Just then, a gorgeous Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left. The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive. “There are no discounts. The price is still $5,000.” Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left. The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs. After their session, Valerie said to the man, “No one has ever been with me three nights in a row”. Where are you from? “The man replied, “Great Falls.” “Really,” she said. “I have family in Great Falls.” “I know.” the man said. “Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.” The moral of this story is that three things in life are certain: 1. Death 2. Taxes 3. Being screwed by a lawyer. |
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[Ridiculous Jail Sentence For Pot] Richard DeLisi, longest-serving pot inmate in US, to get early freedom. Link |
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