2018 June

Friday, June 8, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​

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[Gas gouging on Big Pine Key] Today when travelling to Home Depot from Big Pine my gas light went on.  Normally I would just stop at Tom Thumb or Shell, but with my husband riding along, I was forced to wait and “gas price shop” (such a man-thang).  Gas on BPK was $3.25 / gallon; over the bridge at the second Tom Thumb in Marathon was $2.89 / gallon.  That’s $0.39 more per gallon for the same product!  We continue to get screwed here in the Keys.  First Irma, then FEMA, and now by the local gas station owners.

[Ramsay-Vickrey for Key West Utility Board] In addition to being the only candidate who worked on our County polices and goals regarding electric, utility, and conservation initiatives, I am also the only candidate who has worked with Keys Energy on a new electricity extension project.

I worked with KEYS from start to finish: from conception and design to engineering, construction, completion and connection.  This lengthy and involved project allowed me the opportunity to develop great working relationship with the KEYS Board, senior staff, and so many of the wonderful hard-working KEYS employees.

This project also afforded me the opportunity to work with biologists, attorneys, the County, the State, the Public Service Commission (PSC), and USFWS.

~Beth Ramsay-Vickrey and I am running for the Key West Utility Board Seat D (aka: Keys Energy Board).




Anthony Bourdain is dead. He committed suicide in France. Link

The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, June 9, 10 am at the senior center.  Hope to see you there! Full Menu > Ongoing Events
[The Best From ‘Mad Dog Mattis’] “The first time you blow someone away is not an insignificant event. That said, there are some assholes in the world that just need to be shot.” Link

Quite unusual tarpon fishing.

[Eminent Domain] Is it possible for the Feds to commander all these low income housing developments for the immigrants and invaders? How can we stop such an action?
A manatee has been rescued after being caught up in fishing line. Video

Recent posts about Key deer preservation groups on BPK bring me to post this picture from a year or two back. I was heading to the Old Wooden Bridge area at just below 25 mph and saw the little fawn run very fast right into the person’s truck in front of me. The truck did not hit the deer — the deer ran into the truck. The long-time existing group has helped, and every time I see the sign with the kill count this picture snaps back into my mind. And yes, the Key Deer make Big Pine a little more special! Every one counts.

[Friday Joke] Apparently, in Hawaiian folklore, Pele is the Goddess of fire, lightning, wind and volcanoes and the creator of the Hawaiian Islands. According to ancient Hawaiian tradition, the quickest way to appease Pele and have her stop the volcanic fires is to make a human sacrifice into her fires. The tradition goes on the say that the sacrifice needs to be a Hawaiian born celebrated leader who is or was considered one of the most powerful men in the world.

Obama quickly announced he was actually born in Kenya and has the birth certificate to prove it.

[Dark Tinted Windows] Here’s another reason why you shouldn’t tint your side windows very, very dark.  Listen to what the Tint Man says. It started out as a minor pot bust. Then the lab results arrived. Link
[“Who is behind this inter-racial madness”] This guy just cracks me up, and the sad thing is that I think he’s serious. It reminds me of a friend who had a great definition of dumbfounded: That really awkward moment when you’re standing there, mouth hanging open, head tilted, blinking repeatedly because your brain just can’t comprehend the magnitude of absolute stupidity of another person.
[Genetic Manipulation] God made us in his own image, we are all human. If we look at each other from a perspective of a human being, rather then race or religion, most of our anger would be defused. We all bleed the same. “Love one another as I have loved you.” Personally, I feel sorry for the critics, as you do not have the same joy in life that I do.

[Greasing Palms]  I am sure you’ve heard the idiom: greasing someone’s palms.  Well, I believe that’s what happened in the case of Singh getting his projects up and running so quickly.  He’s got a lot of grease.  There isn’t anyone or any group who want to investigate it here in the Keys. Link

[Grammar Police] In the world of hi-tech gadgetry I’ve noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the art of capital letters. The importance of language. For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement: “Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.”


Irma’s winds did something good. They opened a new view of a long-ago Keys shipwreck. Marine archaeologists believe Hurricane Irma lifted the sand veil on more of the Slobodna shipwreck that lies on the ocean floor on the popular diving and snorkeling spot, Molasses Reef, off Key Largo. Link

[Suburban Propane Customer Service] I had some unused propane tanks and decided to end Suburban Propane’s 100 pound tank rental and put my tanks in service at my home.   We don’t use a whole lot of propane and the annual tank rental was about triple the cost of the propane we used: $100+ vs $30. I called to have what was Keys Gas and now is Suburban Propane come get their tank.

Suburban had every opportunity when I called to mention that they considered the propane regulator part of their rented property, so it was a great suprise to learn they were removing the tank and regulator.  That was very poor customer relations not to mention that to me when I called to have the tank picked up.  They made no effort to cap my home’s supply tube but, thankfully, I did that before I left for the hardware store (thanks Ace on Summerland) as there was a tremendous downpour that afternoon.

The parts required to hookup the propane tank, a couple of adapters and a new regulator, didn’t cost much more than $20.  Had Suburban Propane mentioned on my call to remove the tank that the regulator was their equipment and would also be removed it would have been a non issue to get replacement parts, but the surprise of being left without propane service and having to scramble to find replacement parts when they could have easily mentioned it during my call to end the tank rental, I consider terrible customer service.

[Introducing In-Car Delivery] New for Amazon Prime members with an eligible Cadillac vehicle: Amazon Key introduces in-car delivery! Take control with worry-free in-car delivery backed by the Amazon Key Happiness Guarantee, and know your packages will be safe and secure. STEP 1 Check your vehicle and ZIP code eligibility download the Amazon Key App. STEP 2 When you shop on Amazon or with the Amazon mobile shopping app, select an eligible address. Then choose the in-car delivery option at checkout to complete your order.  STEP 3 On delivery day, park in a publicly accessible area within two blocks of your selected delivery address. Amazon will authorize the delivery driver to unlock your vehicle. Once complete, you’ll be notified and your vehicle will be relocked.
[Friday Joke] Hey, how much you charge for da hour, sister?” he asks. “$100” she replies. In broken English, he says, “Do you do immigrant style? “No” she says.
“Pay you $200 to do immigrant style.”
“No,” she says, not knowing what immigrant style is.
“Pay you $300.”
“No,” she says.
“Pay you $400.
“No,” she says.
So finally he says, “OK, pay $1,000 to do immigrant style.”

She thinks,  “Well, I’ve been in the game for over 10 years now.  I’ve had every kind of request from weirdos from every part of the world. How bad could immigrant style be? So she agrees and has sex with him.  Finally, they finish. Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, “I was expecting something perverted and disgusting, but that was OK. So, what exactly is immigrant style?”

The illegal immigrant replies, “You send bill to Government.”



Easy solution to kill mosquitoes.

[“Get rid of stuff”] Yeah, right. I had a garage sale for only tools and hardware and nobody came. Have one to brat[?] stuff or useless junk and half the Keys will show up. Never, ever, offer free food!
Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

Golfer bitten by rattlesnake at Black Hills golf course dies. The 70-year-old Illinois man was bitten Monday at Elkhorn Ridge Golf Course in Spearfish. The course’s golf pro, Mike Mendelson, says the man was looking for a ball in tall grass when he was bitten on the ankle. He was rushed back to the clubhouse in a cart where another employee performed CPR until an ambulance arrived but was pronounced dead at Spearfish hospital. The course plans to post more signs warning golfers of the potential danger of snakes lurking in tall grass.

[Lionfish Jewelry] Lionfish hunter’s wearable solution to exotic problem. Moved by the 18 venomous spines of the invasive lionfish, ardent jewelry maker Randy Klein-Gross designs her fashionable pieces with conservation in mind. Killing the exotic and voracious predator is crucial to coral reef conservation efforts and to her line, Lionfish Jewelry. Link
Rich people’s active kids have ADHD. Regular people just have, active kids.


[Friday Joke] A wife was curious when she found an old negative in a drawer and had it made into a print. She was pleasantly surprised to see that it was of her at a much younger, slimmer time, taken many years ago on one of her first dates with her husband. When she showed him the photo, his face lit up. “Wow, look at that!”, he said with appreciation, “That’s my old Ford!

[Philanthropist T. Denny Sanford] “Philanthropist pledges $10 million for Crazy Horse Memorial”. Over the past decade, Denny Sanford has given nearly $1 billion to Sanford Health, and his gifts are generally geared toward improving the quality of life for children. T. Denny Sanford has donated more than $600 million to the South Dakota health care company that now bears his name. In April 2017, Sanford donated $28 million to the National University System, specifically for initiatives based out of the Sanford Education Center. In January 2018, Sanford started an endowment with the Horatio Alger Fund to the tune of $30 million. The endowment provides college scholarships to students who have faced obstacles in their education (e.g., growing up in a single-parent home, parent addicted to drugs or incarcerated, etc.). In January 2018, Sanford donated $30 million to remodel the San Diego Zoo Children’s Zoo. What a guy!
[Irma Aid]  As time has passed from the initial devastation of Hurricane Irma, UWFK’s focus has shifted from providing immediate relief to how we can assist in the community’s rebuilding.
Last week we announced $496,000 in hurricane funding for our 2018-19 Community Investment funding.  UWFK’s latest round of $221,300 in funding will support long-term recovery efforts throughout Monroe County. Link


All about cataracts. Link

[Developers] Will Key West be turned into a departure port for cruise ships like Fort Lauderdale and Miami as the developers continue building all the planned hotels and big businesses?
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