2016 March

Friday, March 25, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

[Predator Management Program] I am the person to whom the poster on Tuesday was referring and I would like to correct the record.  I was never “thrown out” of a local environmental organization.  I was the President of the Key Deer Protection Alliance (KDPA) for the second time, the latest being for nearly the last decade.  Everyone in the organization was aware that, rather than being a hard-core environmentalist, I was an animal lover.  As such, I had for a number of years made my views known publicly relative to the absurdity of the U.S Fish & Wildlife (USFWS) “Predator Management Program”, which is nothing more than a euphemism for targeting house cats for trapping.  They will say their purpose is the elimination of feral cats, but the reality is that they have trapped many more pets than ferals since the program began.

My opposition is based on many factors and had its genesis in the pilot program, considered a success by USFWS, which spent more than $50K of taxpayer monies to trap less than a dozen cats, most of which were people’s pets.  $50K+ works out to more than $4,000 per cat.  This, to save a species for which every computer model, including those used by USFWS, predicts a 100% chance of extinction, no matter what actions are taken.  If that’s a success, I shudder to think what they would spend on something they consider to be a failure.

Keep in mind that USFWS has never produced a single documented case of a cat killing a Marsh Rabbit.  Every instance cited in the research on which the program is based made from after-the-fact observations.

Sadly, the program never got any better and, in many cases, USFWS stooped even lower, setting traps just across property lines to lure pet cats for capture.

This program is the poster child of a government program gone wrong.
Step 1. Invent a problem that cannot be solved.
Step 2. Obtain funding to address the problem even if it is based on shoddy, discredited research.
Step 3. Involve the citizens in meaningless public hearings, then implement the decisions made even prior to the meetings.
Step 4. Irrespective of results, make claims of progress to obtain permanent funding.

As for my being “thrown out” of KDPA, the facts are even more troubling.  A USFWS biologist, with the endorsement of the then refuge manager, wrote to the organization stating that, as a result of my public stance relative to the “Predator Management Program”, USFWS would seriously reconsider the nature of their relationship with KDPA unless I either publicly repudiated my position relative to their program or was no longer the President of the organization.  Rather than succumb to the blatant threat to KDPA, I resigned the position and from the organization.

The manner is which the situation was handled by USFWS should be of enormous concern to each of us as Americans.  In no uncertain terms it shows a government agency officially using its power in an attempt to silence a citizen who was doing nothing more than exercising 1st amendment rights to express an opinion.  It directly threatened KDPA with hostile action unless they could get me to be silent.  This is something that should be greatly troubling to each and every one of us.  ~Jerry Dykhuisen

P.S.  I actually was not the person who wrote the recent post about having been received a citation.

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[3 Tourists Shot in KW] I get it that the locals hate tourists and snowbirds but is it necessary to shoot them outside of Ricks?  How is shooting someone with a gun “without intent to kill”?
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Why doesn’t Easter have a fixed date? Audio

[Guns] Did you know that there were over five hundred shootings in the first three months of this year in Chicago.


Hundreds of Cuban refugees clinging to Air Force One on the President’s flight back to the U.S.

The AARP calendar for April is here. Full Menu > Ongoing Events
[Dial M for Murder] Deer Bruce Schmidtt, We feel your pain because we had nuisance neighbors too. Ours were bullies because their ugly, alcoholic son works for code / building departments and they were able to: get my very high bank balances, have code enforcement harass us all the time with the help of a few other neighbors, have the mail woman mess with our mail, screw with our absentee votes, tried to run my vehicle off a bridge, drugged me at a certain low life bar and immediately went home and slept 13 hours, rats thrown on our balcony, cut down over a dozen of our privacy trees, messed with our pets, stole one, and one of their insane friends kept asking to walk my dog and he probably would have poisoned him.

The people across the canal watched this man get on my boat and turn off the bilge pump, steal electronics and mess with the engine and they are afraid of him to this day. They watched him use our water hose and go inside our downstairs enclosure without once calling the police.

You are dealing with a dangerous individual who has a boatload of groupies / proxies all around him as I have seen it firsthand. You are totally lucky to be alive. You won’t want to hear this–move. You have the funds to go somewhere else fabulous and live in peace. It will not stop. Get out of Florida and stop contributing to the Keys economy. If you want warm weather, buy a vacation home in Mexico and take residency anywhere else but Florida the penis state. It is full of sink holes, in the bullseye of global warming and the next big blow may destroy the place.

Take note when / if you sell the bad guys will absolutely have plans to mess with that as well and a great realtor will be able to get your home(s) sold without further drama. I understand we are not in the witness protection program but there are privacy websites and books which can help you become as private as celebrities. If you decide to stand your ground you may wish to assemble a team of your own proxies to get your revenge somehow without committing crimes. A few guns on your person and all over your home, an expensive alarm system and the highest, strongest fencing money can buy. Remember your boats, cars and pets can be targets and get yourself a locking mailbox and a private security guard. Be careful of who you allow inside since service workers can also be his buddy. Hire people from Key Largo since it is not connected to his regime. I would also be careful of restaurants since he could have someone make you very sick. Instead of all this it was much easier to move somewhere else and enjoy our vacation home in Mexico without Florida trolls. Now when I talk about Florida the classy people just say, “Ew” because classy people do not do Florida.



[Sunset on BPK] Looking down US1 on an evening walk of BPK.

The Blue Angels will be at Boca Chica NAS on Apr. 2 & 3. Show starts at 10:30. Angels fly over at 2:30.
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[Peary Court] Considering that the military and Congress got us in the current situation with Peary Court by gifting the land along with the buildings to Balfour Beatty, and then allowing Balfour Beatty to keep the entire $35 million from the sale of the property and not holding them to promises of reinvesting that money in other local housing, the military cannot divorce themselves from its culpability in the local housing shortage. Regardless of where the Peary Court decisions were made, locally, the Pentagon or by Congress, it’s incumbent upon them to step up and take responsibility for this situation and provide active involvement in creating a solution.


[Brussels Terror] They need to bring in that famous of all Belgium detectives, Hercule Poirot, to find the culprits. Maybe he could start by deporting every Muslim male under 30.

[Evangelism] This makes you think about who is sane and who is not. Link
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Your children are always listening. So remember to use profanity correctly and in the proper context.



Imagine that, Easter and Good Friday both in the same week!

[Smart Bomb, Dumb Students] You have to wonder about a country where the bombs are smarter than the high school students. At least the bombs can find Iraq on a map!
refugees-syria[Refugees and Chivalry] Notice that the woman is bare-foot, accompanied by 3 children.  And of the 3, she is carrying 2. There lies the problem. None of the men are helping her because in their culture the woman represents nothing but breeders. She is only good to be a slave to the men.  Do you really believe that these particular individuals could integrate into our society and country and respect our customs and traditions? They will come here and build ghettos where they will hide from us and never interact with non-Muslims or our society.
Once again the FKAA sewer contractors have dumped four large piles of gravel on Littons Way blocking 2/3 of the road.  There are no markers, traffic cones or other warning indicators.  Littons Way is pitch black at night and this presents a significant hazard as the gravel blends into the roadway at night making it very difficult to see until you are almost on top of it.  If you use Littons Way, be cautious. It seems the workers don’t realize we use these unpaved roads. Calls to County Public Works go unanswered and to voice mail.
He don’t need no stinkin’ boat ramp or even a trailer! Video
thanks neonLast week’s 1st Annual Florida Keys Wildlife Refuges’ Outdoor Fest was great fun, and a huge success.  On behalf of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service’s Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuges Complex, our Friends group FAVOR, and the Outdoor Festival committee we wanted to extend a sincere thank you to our sponsors, partners and volunteers.  Due to your heroic efforts and contributions, we were able to, in one week, offer visitors and residents dozens of guided birding, butterfly and nature walks, engaging evening talks, biking and kayak adventures, hands-on kids’ activities, a painting class, a photography contest and open house, the 2nd annual “Run with Deer” 5K race and two family-friendly Wildlife and Outdoor Fairs on Big Pine and in Key Largo.   The Outdoor Fest was created to encourage people to get outside in a wildlife-friendly manner while promoting an understanding and appreciation of the four Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuges- home to some of the worlds’ most endangered habitats, plants and wildlife.  Thanks to everyone for your generous support.
Here’s a good vid on the Kel Tec PMR 30. It’s a 30 round 22 magnum pistol. Check out this video on YouTube: Pistol Magnum Rimfire 30. Video
rush-limbaugh[FTR] There’s been a fair amount of chatter that Democrats are rushing (pun intended, wait for it) to change teams in order to vote for Trump in the primaries. The Trump trainers perhaps should not crow about it. Perhaps they should think long and hard about it. (continued on the National Politics page …)
Why controlling feral/free ranging cats with Trap/Neuter/Release does not work why TNR has no place on an island where endangered species are threatened by feral and free roaming cats. Colony managers establish feeding stations where cats are fed. In theory, these colonies are managed to extinction by capturing, vaccinating, and

altering all cats so that colony members cease reproducing. In practice, however, colonies are usually stable or increasing in size because of a steady influx of new cats.Cats are extremely prolific and feral cat numbers can grow quickly in areas where deliberate introductions occur or where owned cats are not spayed or neutered and reproduce with other feral or free-ranging cats. Female domestic cats are polyestrous and normally produce 2 – 3 litters per year with 1 – 8 young per litter. Gestation is 65 days and kittens attain independence at approximately 6 months and reach sexual maturity at 7 – 12 months (Hemmer 1976, Nowak 1999). Based on 3 litters per year and 4 – 6 kittens per litter, a single pregnant female and her offspring can theoretically produce 420,000 cats in 7 years (HSUS 2000b).

Obviously this theoretical maximum reproductive output is never achieved, but the implication is clear that cat populations can grow rapidly from small numbers of cats in a short period of time. Link

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[TV From Other Countries] For those of you who never realized you can watch TV from other countries online just do a search for the country’s TV you are interested in. Example: “French TV”, “Italian TV”  “German TV”  use the quotes then look through the links. Link

[Gas Monkey Open] For those of you waiting for the opening of Gas Monkey in KW, it’s open at 217 Duval. They finally got their liquor license.
faucet-corrosion[Corrosive Drinking Water] Every time I hear those announcements on morning radio about how great and award winning our local water supply is I just have to wonder.  Today again I am changing a faucet in our bathroom that fell apart from corrosion. These are not cheap fixtures. The lowest price water fixture in my home is a Moen and they still rot out after a few years of FKAA water running through them. Oh and the shower head needs to be replaced again real soon. My parents home in a north eastern  state on the ocean has had the same fixtures since I was a kid and then some. Over 50 years old.

We definitely have a problem with our water here and it’s going to get worse as the radioactive leakage from Turkey Points Nuke moves our way.

I have heard some concerns because Fat Albert hasn’t been seen in a while. Nothing to worry about, The Rolling Stones have leased him for their free concert in Havana.
bullet zooms around in circlesCan I nominate D.M. David of Sugarloaf Key for Dickhead of the year? He is the a**hole that shot 3 people on Duval the other night. He didn’t even hit one of his targets just 3 innocent tourists.
Hey AT&T what the hell do you think we are, rich? Your prices for a stinking cell phone and its toys are nuts. $100 a month and up, for what? I hope you have to live on Social Security and skip meals just to pay for a stupid cell phone someday.
tuna-2Chicken of the Sea tuna recalled due to possible contamination. Tri-Union Seafoods LLC has voluntarily recalled more than 107,000 cans of Chicken of the Sea brand 5 oz. canned chunk light tuna in oil and 5 oz. canned chunk light tuna in water because the products may have been undercooked after an equipment malfunction. Video
In the wake of Brussels terrorist attacks, Poland finally wises up. Link
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It has truly been a pleasure serving as the media spokesperson for the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary during my time with NOAA. However, I recently accepted a new opportunity so my last day with the sanctuary will be today — Tuesday, March 22. Best wishes to all of you in the fabulous Florida Keys!  ~ Rachel Pawlitz Communications Coordinator NOAA / Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary
magician fish[Water Magic] To “prove” that melting ice raises the water level, someone suggested adding a frozen jug of ice to an already full bucket of water to see if it overflows. Duh, how about not bothering to freeze the jug of water before adding it to the bucket? Just pour it in and see if the bucket can hold more than a bucketful! Try this instead: put a block of ice in the bucket first, then fill to the top. The ice will float above the rim of the bucket, so one might think the bucket is overfull, but when it melts, there will only be a bucketful. Magic!
Well I just installed Windows 10 and I think I’m going to be sick again just like last time I played with this garbage OS. This time I did not allow any automatic installs of all the debris is sticks into your system. Talk about a ginger-bread kiddy OS, this mess will make dumbing down of the country easier than WW3! I realized other operating systems spied on their users, but Windows 10 is a disaster. You might as well install bloody cameras and mics in your rooms. Big Brother is alive and ill at Microsoft. Now MS is forcing people to use W10 or else! You cannot buy a new system without W10. Windows 7 will be around for the next few years then no support, but you have to tell your system not to auto upgrade to W10 or lose W7 or W8. I am lucky to have two systems. One W7 and one W10. I will use the W7 as long as I can then suffer with W10 later. Would I recommend you getting W10? Sure. As I would recommend you getting the CIA ID pill stuck in your ear, the FBI fake eye glasses, the NCIS coffee mug, etc. Have fun, they are watching you!
[No License Plate Light] A good friend got pulled over for no tag light last night. Not exactly a whopping big highway safety hazard, so obviously just an excuse for a “fishing stop.” While occupied by this trivial stop, with the over-bright patrol car flashing lights blinding drivers from both directions and encouraging “rubber-necking” at my friend instead of attention to the road, I can’t help but wonder how many drunks weaved by with no tail lights because the car’s body computer turned on the headlights as “daytime running lights” as soon as they turned the key. Some cars turn on the tail lights, too, but some don’t. I have advised numerous people that their tail lights were not lit. One drunken illegal immigrant in a stolen car thanked me profusely! (Okay, I made that last part up, but he did seem a little over-thankful). So when is the last time you checked your tag lights? You want some “Imperial entanglements”, Hans?
cadallic convertible pink[Old Designs] I’ve often wondered if the government would let car manufacturers build vehicles designed exactly as in the past, they couldn’t build them fast enough no matter what they’d cost to fill the orders they would receive. Pick any popular model. To hell with fuel efficiency and emissions. The more regulation forced on manufactures the higher the potential for failure.
[Cisterns] I want to know factually if the FKAA and the Monroe County systems will raise my bills for water/sewage if I install rain gutters to help me collect free rain water into my cistern, pool, holding tanks? If so I want a legal definition of that. Also why can’t I use filtered sea water to flush my toilets?


Standard eye test for food quality inspectors. Can you spot the problem?

[Brussels] Are little children born in Belgium called Brussel sprouts?
[Brussels Terror] Bla, bla, bla. “We should do something.” What? No one has any suggestions, only blame, but no intelligent suggestions.
bottled waterYou know that “best drink in town” from that “pristine aquifer” that FKAA brags about in their paid radio and print ads? Do you wonder why they are advertising? I can hardly wait for my test results from the independent EPA certified lab. I just read FKAA’s water quality Consumer Confidence Report as posted at Many pretty pictures like a Lamborghini sales brochure, feel-good confidence chatter, and damn few sample results. In fact, fewer results are shown as the years go by. The latest report posted has samples taken way back in 2014. Some of the samples are shown for only one test out of the year. Think about that. One sample reported from fourteen billion gallons of drinking water since 2014.

A sample result gone missing since 2012 is their added disinfectant Chloramine (chlorine and ammonia). The EPA maximum contaminant level is 4.0, and I know for a fact that FKAA water sometimes has more. The pH is kept high, usually above 9, where it is not a very effective disinfectant anyway, but lasts longer. But chloramines are safe, right? Ha! Take a look at the health effects of drinking or breathing the shower vapors of chloriminated water. Better buy a charcoal filter before too many more showers. Link

Can you self-diagnose hypochondria? Asking for a friend.



[Former Keyser’s Band] Our band’s first gig went over huge! Link

The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, March 26, 10 am at the senior center.  Hope to see you there. Full Menu > Ongoing Events
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[Hero] Colonel Phil “Hands” Handley is credited with the highest speed air-to-air gun kill in the history of aerial combat. He flew operationally for all but 11 months of a 26-year career, in aircraft such as the F-86 Sabre, F-15 Eagle, and the C-130A Hercules.

Additionally, he flew 275 combat missions during two tours in Southeast Asia in the F- 4D and F-4E. His awards include 21 Air Medals, 3 Distinguished Flying Crosses, and the Silver Star.

[Water/sewer hack] If you are using lots of water that does not go into the sewage system, you may want to see if FKAA will allow you to install a second meter just for that use.  Some water companies will allow you to do that, but will charge you for the second account. Other water companies will not let you do that as they are making a fortune off of the doubled sewage charges.  My guess is that in the short term, FKAA will allow a second meter, but in the long run when they figure out the lost revenue, they will not.
nurse needle chases manNext year I’m getting a flu shot. I’ve been laid up for three weeks with the damn flu. I keep saying I’m going to get the shot, but I never do and am always laid up with the damned flu.
[Captain Doom and Gloom] Lots of people are joining the military, why? Because any service is protection. defend-able from civilians, food and guns, shelter from heat and cold, in other words the smart ones are joining up for the coming big crash and WW3. Us old farts are too limp to go back in. All we could do is eat anyway!

DEF: Evangelism n, The skill of empting people’s wallets with bull shit.
DEF: Politics n, The skill of empting people’s wallets with bull shit.
DEF: Gambling n, The skill of empting people’s wallets with bull shit.
DEF: Charities n, The skill of empting people’s wallets with bull shit.
DEF: Religion n, The skill of empting people’s wallets with bull shit.
DEF: Advertising n, The skill of empting people’s wallets with bull shit.

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