2016 March

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

dialm14Men who pay for murder are at large and living in Marathon. December 21, 2012 was the day I was scheduled to be murdered by Dennis Zecca and his “others”. The price to be paid for my murder was to be $20,000.00 or a bag of cocaine. This is a fact. Dennis Zecca eventually pled guilty and is now in Federal prison. I had to leave the Country that Christmas on the advice of the FBI because they did not know who those “others” were which meant that my life was still in danger. I now believe I know who those “others” are but without Dennis Zecca’s testimony those “others” remain free under our legal system. They remain at large living in Marathon and Key West today.

In the meantime, my life is still in danger from these “others”! The “others” want me dead more now than ever. How do I deal with something like this? There is no rule book or instruction manual for my situation. I get lots of advice but most of it does not help me. I want these “others” to be arrested, convicted, and punished. I know that this may probably not happen soon but I believe that the impossible is always possible. It is a basic principal of my life and who I am. And I am a patient man.

In the meantime, I must deal with the reality that the “others” continue to walk free while Dennis Zecca sits in prison paying the price for those “others”. Someday those “others” will have to repay Dennis Zecca, no doubt.

My life has certainly changed. People who knew me before December 21, 2012 say that I am much different today, and they are correct. I am different because of this event in my life. I admit it. The old Bruce was much freer, easier, kinder and much more fun to be around. But the old Bruce died December 21, 2012 and I have had to learn to accept this fact. The new Bruce is much different, that is a fact as well. I am now angry, impatient, wary, and sometimes mean spirited. I do not like the new Bruce but I am what I am because of the unresolved nature of my circumstances. The list of “others” continues to grow beyond the core group as more suspects show themselves in various ways through their actions and ongoing attacks against me.

Consider this; I do not know who to forgive because I do not know who all the “others” are. Secondly, the “others” continue to constantly attack me in various and multiple ways over these past three years without any letup. They have tried to bait me into fights, discredit me, falsely accuse me, lie about me, send Sheriff Deputies, Firemen and State Fire Marshals to my home and generally protect themselves by getting more “others” to do their dirty work. The fact is these “others” are as guilty as Dennis Zecca, just not in jail yet.

Finally and most importantly those “others” do not want to be forgiven because their levels of greed, cowardice, fear and shame does not allow them to step out of the darkness of their evil and sick lifestyles. They are too addicted to their Opus wine, Italian sausage, and imported cocaine to be able to walk away from this Cosa Nostra thing of theirs. Maybe the best solution here is for these “others” to simply allow them to continue playing their mindless stupid episodes of the Sopranos not knowing when or how their end will ultimately come about. The “others” need to consider taking good care of Dennis Zecca and his family. After 2020 when Zecca gets out of prison he is going to be looking for some compensation for his silence. I’ll bet that he will be looking for more than $20,000.00 or a bag of cocaine. I will still be expecting justice.  ~Bruce Schmitt

sticker-token free
[“Drinking water test”] The day after I posted that KAR Laboratories would report on 95 tests of your drinking water for $50, they jacked up the price to $60. That makes the test for 213+ parameter for $100 look like a better deal. I was especially curious about disinfection by products and they test for 5. The water you drink in Key West may take a week from Florida City to arrive, and chlorine is added if needed in Marathon. As the disinfectant (chlorine and ammonia) reacts with contaminants, it forms known carcinogens. Not what you want to drink. We know that KW is a cancer and MS hot spot. Is it the water? Don’t depend on FKAA to tell you the truth about anything at all, except that your water will be off or your payment is late I am hoping to split the test kit cost with nearby friends, and hoping that others who have testing done will share their results at Here is the KAR labs. Link
ice cube melting[“Ice will displace its weight in water and make a “hole” in the water that is just big enough to contain the water that results from melting the ice.”] So pray tell where does the “displaced” water go? Here’s a simple experiment, fill a 5 gallon bucket all the way to the top now place your jug of frozen water into the bucket. Where does the “displaced” water go?
[“Written warning by Fish and Wildlife post of Sat. 3/19”] That pro free-roaming/ anti marsh rabbit post seemed to be written by the same person that was kicked out of a local wildlife group down here for his anti-marsh rabbit/pro outdoor cat ideology. Instead of realizing that the written warning for having an outdoor pet predator in a wildlife sanctuary was just a very small slap on the wrist, he/she cops an attitude & assumed that he/she knows best and that the Wildlife people should be ashamed of themselves?


I had the privilege of taking an individual that was paralyzed scuba diving on Monday. The look of gratitude that he gave me brought tears to my eyes. I am not a bragging man……I just hope that some realize that we take many things for granted here. Be thankful for what you have. Life is short–too short to be hateful and angry. Take care all!

[Beyond Flint] Excessive lead levels found in almost 2,000 water systems across all 50 states. Tests in cities, rural subdivisions and even schools and day cares serving water to 6 million people have found excessive and harmful levels of lead, with several hundred failing EPA-required tests repeatedly. Link
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[Rats In Your Attic] Rats can easily chew through electric wires, repairs can be very costly, not to mention the fact that an electrical fire could destroy your home.


Coconuts donates Christmas money to food bank.

[Hand Gun] The KelTec PMR 30 is awesome. 30 rnds. of .22 WMR (.22 Magnum). It is fun and accurate to shoot. However the ammo price sucks.
massage back

Does anyone know of a massage therapist who travels to your home or has a small practice in their home? The spa prices here are ridiculous. A good massage should cost no more than $1 a minute – period – $60/hr.

[“Credit card fraud protection”] What do you mean call your company and check on your credit card fraud protection? Are you trying to instill panic in people? Here’s a link to each processor’s fraud limitations. I think the main thing to point out is that you are covered as long as you have used reasonable care in protecting your card from loss or theft; and
you have promptly reported to your financial institution when you knew the card was lost/stolen. Debit is a little different animal. I would suggest logging into your online account and set-up alerts. For example, you can receive an email, call, text for any transaction over a certain amount. Also, if your balance is over a certain amount and all kinds of other alerts.If you receive an email from your financial institution, please be aware of phishing schemes. Legit emails usually have your name, last 4 digits of card number and when you hover over the link, you will see where it would take you if you clicked on the link. Even after all this, I would just log directly into your account and not via the email link.  MasterCard, Visa, Discover, AmEx
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Starwood signed a deal on Saturday to renovate and run three Cuban hotels, returning U.S. chains to the island more than 50 years after American hotels were taken over by Fidel Castro’s socialist revolution. All Cuban hotels are stateowned so the deal puts a major U.S. corporation directly in business with the Communist government under a special U.S. license that pushes Washington’s legal dismantling of the Cuban trade embargo further than ever before. In a once-unimaginable arrangement, a hotel owned by the tourism arm of the Cuban military will become a Sheraton Four Points.
rabbit foot[“Marsh Rabbit”] A number of years ago, I reviewed most of the “scientific” literature related to marsh rabbits and “feral” cats. It seemingly all began with a doctoral student who wrote her dissertation on the subject. To keep things short, she did her research on the Boca Chica Navy Base using monies from the Navy. The area was fenced and full of “rabbit habitat” that at that time was being commercially mowed. She claimed to find ravaged rabbit carcasses under dirt and debris and blamed cats. She claimed she saw a rabbit cornered by a raccoon, although she did not describe the interaction further. Her methodology was flawed as was her statistical analyses of the data, using techniques that were described by many biologists as illegal. She then made sweeping generalizations about the presence of marsh rabbits on BPK and claimed that their threat was feral cats. I challenged many of her findings as did one or two others in the Keys who had research backgrounds. She responded with an editorial in the Citizen claiming, among other things, that she sat with a rabbit that had been ravaged by a cat as it died. A nice pull of the heartstrings, but without mention in her dissertation.

The USFWS and the Refuge set out to prove she was right. They put several piles of sand in areas that were presumably marsh rabbit habitat to look for footprints of marauding cats. After a while, they admitted finding only one set of tracks. The tracks were in sand. How reliable is that? They then went about trapping “feral” cats and putting pictures in an album kept at the Refuge. I looked at the album of all their catches one day. There were a total of six cats, all pets. There were no reported rabbit deaths due to cat marauding. They’ve since put up cameras and baited domestic cats under their cameras to “prove” their presence in marsh rabbit habitats. A little less than scientific method. This has been used to justify their program, and as an aside, presumably their jobs.

There are marsh rabbits on BPK. Although I never saw any, there were a couple of friends who claimed they had seen one, and I’ll take their word for it. Does this really justify the Refuge’s actions? A lot of information has come out lately about trap-neuter-release (TNR) programs which are proving very successful. Many areas in the country now refer to their feral cats as community cats. Their lifespan is considerably shorter than domestic cats, but they don’t multiply. Another aside: two unneutered/unspayed cats will generate, exponentally, over 400,000 offspring over seven years. It pays to spay.

Cats do kill birds. But do they really kill as many as birder watchers would have you believe? There are numerous articles speaking to the flawed methods used by birders. Almost all birder articles related to cats make sweeping genralizations based on flawed or limited data, claiming cats kill cazillions of birds a year. It’s highly likely that wind turbines kill far more birds, including raptors, than cats.

There are simply people who do not like cats, usually without ever experiencing one as a pet. This, unfortunately, has led to the unconscionable slaughter of many lives. It’s sad, but it will continue until people understand the facts and are able to deal with the issue with compassion.




Damn, that’s a nice gl-ass!

I just watched the video link of the Marathon Seafood Festival which prompts me to comment. Actually two comments:  If John Bartus gets any bigger, he is going to bust and I did not find the food as good as in years past.
SARCHOTIC: [adj.] When you’re so sarcastic, people aren’t sure whether you are joking or whether you’re just crazy.
robot wind up


[Robots] Atlas, the next generation. Video

[“More government waste”] I really appreciate all the important alerts on the big ugly electronic signs they put along US 1.  I will now check twice for obnoxious loud Harley riders and I will certainly not text and drive. I do think they need to add to their postings- may I suggest:
Put down the beer! It’s the law.
Sex while driving is dangerous- park it!
Caution- Canadian driver ahead
Get regular – Eat more fiber
Be sure to floss after every meal
Health alert – Wipe up not down
Avoid beer and burritos – a deadly combination
Alert Alert- Hot Jersey girls spotted at at the Tiki
and the best one: Keep your eyes on the damn road, not that worthless sign.
derek-david[Shooting] Three tourists were injured — two airlifted — early Monday after a gun-wielding man opened fire in Old Town. Police charged Derek Michael David, 33, of Sugarloaf Key, with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill and display of a weapon while committing three counts of aggravated battery. The police arrest report describes a chaotic, 1:25 a.m. scene on Charles Street in which police claim David pulled out a Ruger handgun after two unidentified men tried to separate him from a woman named Jodie Marie David, whom he had allegedly grabbed and pushed to the ground. Whether or not Derek and Jodie David are married could not be confirmed as of press time. David then began firing and didn’t hit the two men who intervened, but did strike three tourist bystanders watching the incident — Brendon Boudreau, 34, Ryan Reid Ogden, 27, and Scott P. McBride, 54.
[Hacked] This site lets you know if you were enrolled in any websites that were breached of their data (name, address, email addresses, passwords, etc.). I checked my email address and yes, I was. Link
Emergency Services surtax roundup. Link


Carol McArdle

I now know of three lawsuits currently in the works against FKAA and the County over administrative decisions in the implementation of the Cudjoe Regional Wastewater System. All were avoidable if they had simply treated their customers fairly and equitably. Is that so much to expect from Public Service entities?

So far, the movement to retain septic tanks or other on-site systems for emergency back-up use is hoping to not need litigation. What they do need is indisputable evidence of unreliability of the sewer system, which will speak much more clearly, loudly, and economically than expert opinions. Please send your detailed description, photos, videos, or other evidence of undependable sewers to Volunteers will take it from there and save each of us about $1,000 in septic abandonment costs.

kenny-chesneyCountry crooner Kenny Chesney gave a free ‘Keg Show’ concert Monday night at Sloppy Joe’s in Key West as he prepares for his summer tour. Crowds gathered outside the venue to hear Chesney perform, many waiting hours for the opportunity.
[“Government animal experiments”] Right now, the government wastes over $12 billion in tax dollars every year to pay for cruel, painful, and ineffective animal experiments. Americans need to expose and eliminate this cruelty by holding the animal abusers accountable.
Here in South Carolina the pollen counts are so high the junkies are trying to convert their meth back into Sudafed.


I am not really getting into national politics, I’m just saying, as a long time citizen of the Conch Republic, I am voting for Love 22 for president. I think he is our only hope!

[Government Animal Testing Programs] A lethal poisoning test invented by the U.S. Government—in which animals are force-fed increasing doses of a chemical until they die–is still the single most common animal test in use today. Government regulations still require chemical manufacturers to squirt burning chemicals into rabbits’ eyes and onto their shaved skin.


[“Online Dating”] I have four pretty accomplished nephews in their own right; each met their wives online. They have all been married many years now. Poor bastards!

[“Legalize pot”] I didn’t choose the outlaw life… the outlaw life chose me. Link
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[Edit as Photo] If you want to edit a photo or make a moving picture, here is a free web site that can do it all. Read the How To and have fun! Link


[Build a Catio] Keep your cat safe and let it out in a catio. Link

[Largest U.S. refinery now belongs to Saudi Arabia] Royal Dutch Shell and Saudi Aramco appear to be getting a divorce, breaking up their joint venture in U.S.-based refining assets.  Link
If man was created by a God in his image, why did a God have a use for nipples? Same question could be asked for ‘Why does a God need women?’  Then the ultimate questions, “Why does a God need anything? ” “How can a God become bored?”  “If a God is some sort of true life form, either physical, digital, electrical, pure energy or something we do not understand, why did It create life as is?”  Is it justifiable to suppose that God created man in His image or are humans just egomaniacs and the  real God image is an insect or bird or germ or sparkplug? If a God knows all, does all, and is all, why did Ii invent the universe and the mutants living here? There are no answers to these questions because humanity lives in a fog of imagination and myth to off-set boredom and chaos!


Special thanks to Joseph C. Britz and Meri-Lynn Rondeau Britz and Coconuts for their super nice donation to assist runners in re-carbing after the Run With The Deer 5k Run. I thought they said “Rum”, ouch!

[“DHMO: Dihydrogen monoxide”] The intellect of the Telegraph must be decreasing. I’m sure everyone recognizes another word for water: DHMO. 2 hydrogen atoms one oxygen atoms or hydrogen oxide, or water.
[Good Virus] We all know there are good bacteria (e.g. probiotics) and bad (e.g. gonorrhea), but is there a beneficial virus? I couldn’t think of any (flu, herpes, ebola… nope), so I did an internet search for “beneficial virus”. Lo and behold, you have beneficial virus in your mucous that kills harmful bacteria. Good article here from the magazine Science. Link
I contacted the sewer adviser at FKAA and asked about my new impending utility bill. How is the sewage portion of my bill calculated? He answered, everything that goes through the water meter is billed as sewage. I asked what about the 7000 gallons used to top off my pool–sewage. What about the water I use to irrigate my fruit crops–sewage. What about the water I use to water my grass–sewage. How can this be? Why is FKAA taxing me for something that they aren’t providing? Isn’t this illegal? Is FKAA doing this on its own or are they just following directions as a contractor from the sewer system owners, the Monroe county government and particularly the controlling members of BOCC? Are you happy about the way your government is systematically taking more and more of your money? and for what? Why did the BOCC vote to give away 14.2 million dollars of our sewer project money to the State of Florida to repair the States’ falling down bridge? Isn’t this misappropriation of our tax moneys? Are you citizens of Monroe Country satisfied that your elected comissioners are spending your tax money the way you voted to have it spent? Do you give a s**t? This is stealing, plain and simple. Are you going to stand up and do something or bend over and “thank you sir, may I have another?”. It will get worse unless you do something to stop this.



Today kids get awards for nothing.

I had some friends in town and they commented on FKAA‘s commercial about the best drink in town. They asked me, if it was safe to drink the water because they’ve never been any place that the aqueduct authority had to say how good the water is. By the way, they didn’t think the tap water was very good. I told them they should’ve tried the water in Big Pine in the late 90s, the Avenues water was really bad then. Really bad.
hobie-fishing-kayakIf anyone ever has difficulties getting any part for a Hobie-branded kayak, catamaran, etc. or even wanting to buy a new Hobie-branded product try BackYard Boats in Annapolis, MD. They are one of the largest Hobie-dealers in the USA and can sell and ship a new Hobie kayak to the Keys plus any part to your Keys door in 3-5 days max. Here is their website. Link
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My kids do not eat sorbet. They eat sherbet, and they pronounce it sherbert, and they wish it was ice cream. ~Homer Simpson


Us Michigan Snowbirds thank you for the Big Pine Key Sticker and coin. We enjoyed visiting our cousin Debbie Goss on Big Pine Key. We love the Key Deer and National Preserve. Wish we could take a couple of deer home with us to Michigan to meet their white tail cousins! We love your website ‘’, too.

That video of Amsterdam’s waterway was amazing, thanks for posting that. That kind of traffic takes every bit of fun out of boating for me.
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Don’t forget, tonight the moon will be visible from earth. The last time this happened was last night.

[Water Test] I was deciding which water test kit I was about to order from KAR Labs and was disappointed to find that none reported glyphosate (active herbicide in Monsanto’s Round-Up) or Triclosan (the very common anti-bacterial ingredient in soaps and cleaners). I expect both of these to be contaminating FKAA’s “best drink in town” and wanted the facts. I called the lab, They said it is a big deal to test for, so it was not included so the price can stay low. I went looking for a glyphosate test kit first. was offering a kit specifically to test for it, but demand was so overwhelming that they had to find a bigger lab and temporarily discontinued selling it. So that will wait. But in my search I discovered that even Certified Organic foods are showing glyphosate contamination. GMO crops are fairly oozing glyphosate. The stuff is linked to just about every modern ailment, and WHO has pronounced it a “probable carcinogen.” Good article with good follow-up links. Link
[Fashion strolls poolside for Sister Season] “Islands in the Sun,” the 4th annual Southernmost Fashion Show to benefit Sister Season Fund, will be held Sunday, April 3 at the Southernmost Mansion. Doors open at 5 p.m. for guests to enjoy no host cocktails, hors d’oeuvres and the elegant ambiance. The first model will step onto the poolside runway at 6 p.m., according to SSF Vice President Julie Hanson, chair of the show.

Twenty local models will showcase the latest styles of ten local local shops, including Graffiti, Sargasso, Isles Styles, French Kiss, Jolie Boutique, Mikey Mo’s, Stingray Steve’s, Madison Ave, Evolution and La Rubia, she said. There will also be a silent auction, door prizes and entertainment by Jonathan Romero. Tickets for the show are $25 in advance, $30 at the door, or a table of eight for $160. Advance tickets may be purchased on

Sister Season Fund is the charity that pays rent and utilities for locals in the hospitality and entertainment industries when they temporarily are unable to work through no fault of their own. Anyone interested in supporting Sister Season by volunteering to work the day of the show or to donate an item, service or attraction to the silent auction is urged to phone    Hanson 305-304-9828.

t-bird rotateAutomobile computers can be downright dangerous and are one more reason to avoid buying a 2016 anything, and instead buy something that goes up in value like a ’57 Chevy or ’55 T-Bird with roll-up windows, manual door locks, and lights that don’t turn on until you pull the switch. If you have power door locks, you probably hear them lock you in as soon as you start driving. That reminds me of that old James Bond movie where hand restraints in the chair grab his wrists. Suppose you are in an accident, and the car catches fire. Bystanders cannot get you out of the car because your car computer has you locked in on the assumption that you are idling through the worst area of Detroit. Suppose your battery is weak. You go to start the car and the headlights immediately come on to divert the last trickle of electricity away from the starter. Suppose it is a nice day, the windows are open, and you are sitting in the car while your significant other is still in some store that bores you to tears. In comes a sudden squall, and you can’t close the windows because you don’t have the keys. I know of a car that had to be towed because the neutral safety switch quit and the car refused to start even when the starter was manually activated, because the ignition was shut out by the body computer. Old cars rule! Just like old guys.
[Reefer Madness] Time to bring the prohibition of cannabis to an end. Video
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