2024 March

Friday, March 8, 2024

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Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
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[Deer in House] Man accused of illegally feeding Key deer in his home. Now, he’s got bigger problems. Police say the house he let the deer hang out in isn’t even his. Thomas Scancarelli, 61, made international news last week when he was arrested after someone reported his multiple Facebook posts of photos and videos showing him feed Key deer. Scancarelli even bragged in one of the posts that one deer became so comfortable in the home that it watched Fox News with him. Other posts show several deer inside the home, begging for food at the kitchen counter, and being hand fed human food like cheese and oranges. Link
[Friday Joke] lf you want to change the world. do it when you are a bachelor. After marriage, you can’t even change a TV channel.
Listening to a wife is like reading the terms and conditions of a website. You understand nothing, still you agree.
Chess is the only game in the world which reflects the status of the husband. The poor King can take only one step at a time, while the mighty Queen can do whatever she likes.
All men are brave. Horror movies don’t scare them, but 5 missed calls from their wife surely does.
[Fox News on Abortion] Ladies, stop whining and travel out of state for an abortion. Fox’s Mark Levin: “You’re gonna have an abortion. Is it that much of a burden to go to another state? I don’t view it as a huge burden. I mean, come on. How hard is it really?” Link
[Fact] Drinking beer is healthier for you than being dead.

Marathon Seafood Festival to blend fresh seafood and family fun. Fresh seafood is on the menu for attendees at the Original Marathon Seafood Festival, scheduled Saturday and Sunday, March 9-10, and featuring local shrimp, lobster and stone crab alongside a variety of fresh “fishermen-to-fork” menu favorites. Link

Insanity is when you believe your hallucinations are real.
Religion is when you believe that someone else’s hallucinations are real.
Take a look inside 13,000 animals–no scalpel required. Scientists from the openVertebrate project spent five years taking detailed CT scans of amphibians, reptiles, fish, and mammals. Link
[Clogged Arteries] Plastic found inside more than 50% of plaques from clogged arteries. Link
‘Rust’ armorer Hannah Gutierrez-Reed guilty of involuntary manslaughter. Lawyer Morrissey told the jury that Gutierrez-Reed “was negligent, she was careless, she was thoughtless.” Morrissey also said that after the fatal shooting, Gutierrez-Reed was more “worried about her career” and less about the victims. Link
Ladyboy mob riot in Bangkok. FantasyFest on steroids. Video
[United Way Loves Publix] United Way of Collier and the Keys is grateful for the incredible support during the 2023 Publix Super Markets, Inc. United Way Campaign! Thanks to Publix managers and employees in Collier and Monroe Counties, UWCK raised $565,307.42. Every dollar will help us further our mission of supporting individuals and families.
[Holy Pedophile] Florida Keys pastor accused of sexually abusing girl at his church. Monte Chitty, 62,  was arrested Monday, March 4, on charges he served a 15-year-old girl alcohol and sexually abused her inside his Florida Keys church, First Baptist Church in Marathon. Link
[Phishing] My name is Eoin O’Driscoll, I’m the Chief Financial Officer to a mining company based in Mauritius. I have a business/partnership deal for you, I will appreciate your urgent and positive response so that I can enlighten you more about this deal. Here is my contact bla, bla…
[Book Sale Tomorrow] Join us at the Big Pine Library for a book sale on March 9th from 9:00am to 2:00pm. We have lots of gently used books for sale, including a large collection of children’s books. The library is still accepting donations of gently used books.  Please do not donate any books that have mold or are not in good condition.  ~Carol
10 more obsolete occupations:
Town crier
Switchboard operator
Ice cutter
Elevator operator
Pinsetter (in bowling alleys)
Clockmaker (traditional, non-digital clocks)
VCR repair technician
[Riddle] What if this were the only question on the exam paper to pass your English Exam.  Would you pass?  What nine letter word in the English language is still a word when eight letters are removed one by one?  Take a few minutes to try and come up with a nine letter word that fits the bill, then click the link for the answer because you’re never going to figure it out. Link
Popular Science is back on YouTube. YouTube is a video laboratory of stories from the future, past, and present. Link
[Computer Club] This Saturday, March 9 at 10:30am at the Community Center in Winn Dixie Plaza. Question: When might it be advantageous not to have wi-fi? Full Menu > Ongoing Events > Computer Club
[Friday Joke] Tim decided to tie the knot with his long- time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks, “Tim, I’ve been thinking, now that we’re married maybe it’s time you quit golfing. You spend so much time on the course. You could probably get a good price for your clubs.”
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
“For a minute there you were beginning to sound like my ex-wife.”
“Ex-wife!” she screams, “I didn’t know you were married before!”
“I wasn’t,” he replied.
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[Moose] According to my driving instructor, the moose always has the right of way.

[Screen Yourself] TSA is testing a self-screening security checkpoint in Vegas. The new prototype station is largely automated, and transfers much of the work onto passengers. Link

Growing your own tomatoes is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

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The last time I saw my doctor he told me, “Next appointment you have I want you to bring in a little stool for me. Here it is. I hope he is happy.

[Medieval Blind Faith] Things the history books didn’t tell us about medieval times. Many medieval saints were reputed to have healing powers, and they often cared for lepers and those afflicted with similarly gruesome diseases—by licking their wounds. St. Mary Magdalene of De’Pazzi licked the sores of the ill, and even sucked maggots out of wounds. St. Angela of Foligno drank water she had used to bathe a leper’s feet, and purposely swallowed one of his scabs. Link
Why in hell do construction companies or municipalities or utility companies, when they need to run a pipe or wire straight across a street, do they make a cut in the roadway about 1 inch wider than whatever they are installing? In short order the 4-inch cut and refill process fails, leaving one hell of a ditch for all vehicles to almost ruin tires or suspension on? Whoever got paid is long gone A wider cut and replacement of the road will last much, much longer, if not for as long as the original street.
The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 3/8/24 at 8:30 am.