Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.
The Un-social Media with 60,000 Followers
[New Summerland Key Bridge Cracks] I couldn’t help but notice the new walkway on Summerland Key bridge by the Boy Scout camp is cracking. The worse spot is right in the middle of the new arched bridge span. Anyone know who to call to send the info to?
|[Sports Power] Soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo snubbed Coca-Cola. Then their market value sank $4 billion. Video|
|[Key Lime Festival] In 20 years of living in the Keys, I never saw a Key lime grove or farm. If there is one it’s not big enough to supply all the pies and ice creams supposedly made with Key limes. Wake up drowsy ones, it’s mostly imported Mexican juice from limes grown outside the USA, unless your neighbor has a tree and they share with you, you’re out of luck.|
|[“Deadly US of A”] Here is a list of countries far more dangerous than the US. Link|
|[Druid Remains] I was walking on the bike path recently and between the Rooster and Breezy Pines about 100ft back off the highway I can see a pretty decent sized foundation. I’ve been here since the early 90’s and don’t ever remember anything being there. Anyone else remember? Had to have been from 70’s, maybe earlier? I’m just curious.|
|[Friday Joke] My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.|
|[“Smoked fish from the Florida Keys”] Smilin’ Bob’s fish ain’t smoked fish from the Keys — read the label.
If you want Keys smoked fish, go by Fanci Seafood and see Bob or Monica. They always had local caught, local smoked, fish and a recipe for you to make a Keys fish dip.
Looters have it easy today. It was a lot harder to run with a color TV in 1968.
|[Face Masks Problem] A group of parents sent their kids’ face masks to a lab. Half of the masks were contaminated with one or more strains of pneumonia-causing bacteria. One-third were contaminated with one or more strains of meningitis-causing bacteria. One-third were contaminated with dangerous, antibiotic-resistant bacterial pathogens. In addition, less dangerous pathogens were identified, including pathogens that can cause fever, ulcers, acne, yeast infections, strep throat, periodontal disease, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, and more. Link|
|[Friday Joke] “I work with animals,” the guy says to his date. “That’s so sweet,” she replies. “I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?” “I’m a butcher,” he says.|
|[Whoville] Wow! Tuesday’s CocoTele read like a wish list from Whoville!
One post wanted to take America back from the “2nd Amendmenters” – I don’t know what country your from, but our Constitution is the framework by which you’ve met your success. You don’t take back American’s rights.
Another said they’d rather pay the New York Slimes $150 for news rather than pay the LOCAL mullet wrapper – The Citizen. No question where that guy moved to the Keys from.
And finally the classic post – someone begging for the county to “air spray” the Keys with chemicals because they saw a big ol’ roach on an island one hundred miles out to sea. You mean the toilet city you moved from didn’t have rats in the sewers?
What happened to my beloved Florida Keys and my home state? I got run out a couple years ago and it seems to be getting more and more crowded with whiners – and modular homes on land that was green when I left.
|[Rules of Life] From ‘NCIS’s’ Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Sometimes we all need a smack on the back of the head. Rule 1: Never let suspects stay together. Rule 2: Never screw over your partner. Rule 3: Always wear gloves at a crime scene. Rule 4: Don’t believe what you’re told. Double check. Rule 5: Never be unreachable. Rule 6: The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person – if you must. There is no third best. Rule 7: You don’t waste good. 29 more…|
[What’s Next] My wife is getting frustrated and wants to move out of the Keys. I agree with her that the Keys are dead and smell of blintzes and gritz–but where can we go? All is the same now, and the rest of this world is also being trashed into oblivion.
|[“Business Directory”] “Sex cults and clubs not listed in the Business Directory” Uhhhhh, no. Restaurants and bars are the majority, followed by MCSO arresting people from other places who act like the Keys are a place to misbehave.|
RV travelers tips, news & destinations. Link
|[Bitter Outlook] Nobody cares about the old or helpless. It’s the law of the merchant. Get the money and screw the customer. The banks would not be here if the world had respect for us old farts. The insurance companies would not either. The medical fields are only for productive humanity that gives back products and labor. Reality has always been survival of the fittest and meanest. Can you imagine what life would/will be like if the Chinese or Russians take over this rock. If you can’t produce something to eat, use or screw, you die.|
[“Lea & Perrins shortage”] Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?
|[Friday Joke] Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.|