2021 June

Tuesday, June 15, 2021

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.
The Un-social Media with 60,000 Followers

(Editor: Oops, I got my days mixed up and forgot to publish the Coconut Telegraph on Friday, June 11. My life’s boring schedule was interrupted last week causing me to think Friday was Saturday. That’s the first time I made that mistake. It’s even more embarrassing after the debacle I had with GoDaddy last week deleting the entire site. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)

“Deer Ed, I really hope whatever it was is resolved and you are back … really!”
“Where is the CT for last Friday?”
“Deer Ed, what’s going on?”
“Hope you’re on vacation or in jail! Missing news from the Rock up in NC until I can get back home in 4 weeks.”
“What happened to Friday’s CT?”
“Hi guys, what happened to Fridays posting?
Looks like you are still having problems. You provide a valuable souce of info (and entertainment) to the community.”
“Deer Ed, It’s after 1 pm, and still no Coconut Telegraph today – Friday, 6/11. Hope you get it sorted out.”
“Just checking on you. I pray nothing bad has happened.” ~Terry
“Coconut Telegraph posts every Tuesday and Friday. He has been having trouble with his website company. To post anything on CT, I send to Deer Ed at Big Pine Key Coconut Telegraph:

[USA Most Dangerous Country] 6 mass shootings since Friday. When are we going to take our country back from the 2d Amendmenters? Or are we just going to keep having useless meetings and committees? We all know what needs to be done to take back our country and make it safe again. Most anywhere in the world is safer than America.
(Editor: If you are having trouble coming to it is because your browser is remembering an old address. You can clear the computer cache but it’s easier to go to Google and search for That will take you to fresh pages of the site.—click one. Then you can make a fresh shortcut from that address.)

[European Fighter Jets] They are making a diplomatic statement with their tiger print (that looks more like a leopard). Link

[Key West Citizen] I got a renewal bill for $150 for the Citizen. No way! Anything in there is available free online. For that money I’d buy a subscription to the New York Times or a paper with a lot of news. The Citizen is best for its obituaries, that’s about it.
[Free Frangipani Trees] If you or your friends would like plumeria cuttings, they are free for the taking (in front of the buttonwood tree between the two driveways at 21023 7th Ave. E., Cudjoe Key  MM 21

This variety is “Miami Rose” a very hardy fuchsia pink plumeria.  Just put the end in dirt, it will root itself.  In ten years, you will have trees like these.


[Bugs] Are they going to air spray the Keys this year because the bugs are already trying to take back their islands. I saw a 3 inch roach and he grinned at me then gave me the finger.

[Smilin’ Bob’s Smoked Fish Dip recalled] Listeria is a bacteria that can cause food-borne illness, known as listeriosis.. Smoked fish from the Florida Keys, sold at Publix and Rented along Duval St., joins a national listeria recall. Video


[Vaccine Lottery by State and How to Enter] You can have my ticket, haven’t see a doctor in 12 years and plan on following that trend. Eat right, no drink, no drug and no fear of dying. Link

I see you do not list all the sex cults and clubs in the Keys in the Business Directory — why? These are the majority of businesses down here.


[Potatoes] You can survive entirely on a diet of potatoes and butter.  They can provide all the necessary nutrients the human body needs (this has nothing to do with French fries).

G7: “Joe Biden is breath of fresh air,” says Boris Johnson. I could get used to having a president who isn’t an international embarrassment. Video


[Giant Squid Surfaces] From the deep in a Japanese harbor. Humanity’s closest encounter ever to mysterious mollusk. Link

There’s a blood drive at Keys Real Estate – Berkshire Hathaway Home Services – this Thursday, June 17 – 11:30am-5:00pm. Click on the link to register. Donor gift is t-shirt & $10 eCard. Thanks. Link
The “freaks” used come out at night. Now we are old freaks and we’re in bed by 9:00pm.
What are the causes of mental confusion in the elderly? Some offer: “Tumors in the head”.  I answer: No! Others suggest: “Early symptoms of Alzheimer’s”.  I answer again: No! With each rejection of their answers, their responses dry up. And they are even more open-mouthed when I list the three most common causes: uncontrolled diabetes, urinary infection, and dehydration.

It may sound like a joke, but it isn’t.  People over 60 generally stop feeling thirsty and consequently stop drinking fluids.  When no one is around to remind them to drink fluids, they quickly dehydrate.  Dehydration is severe and affects the entire body.  It may cause abrupt mental confusion, a drop in blood pressure, increased heart palpitations, angina (chest pain), coma and even death. Link

[Skin Cancer] Old people pay the most. The older the patient, the sooner cancer was diagnosed after actinic keratosis was found and presumably treated. It took seven to eight years for 10 percent of patients in their 50s with an actinic keratosis to receive a diagnosis of skin cancer, but it took only three to four years for patients in their 70s and one to two years for those in their 80s. UV light damages the elastin fibers in skin, causing it to stretch, sag and wrinkle. It also damages surface blood vessels, rendering them more fragile and easily bruised Link


[Modern Dance] If anyone didn’t think that dancing was a sport before now, you’re about to be proved wrong. When dance duo MainTenanT took to the stage to perform this exquisite routine, they set a new bar for dance ability. Video

[Plague] We are kidding ourselves that this plague is over. The greedy profiteers want your money and don’t care if you die giving it to them.
[Too Old To Party] The Keys are not only dead they are turning into a string of religious retreats for the holy rollers and people who wear their pants on backwards. As soon as we can, my wife and I are out of here after 34 years of fun in the sun that all went away with the herds of sissies and kiddy breeders making these island into something not fit to party in.
[New Border Wall] Texas Governor Greg Abbott told Breitbart Texas the State will immediately begin building border barriers in areas where migrants can easily cross the Rio Grande border with Mexico. The barriers will, in part, enable state law enforcement to arrest migrants for violations of state law. Link
[Religion and War]The biggest insanity on earth is religions. People are brainwashed into mysticism and dreams because they cannot face reality alone. The second sickness is war mongering, but that yields super profits for the military industrial complex. Spock was right[?].


[“Zebra butterflies”] the picture shows yellow and white stripes. Mine have white and black stripes.

[Tree vs Bush] Thanks for clarifying that difference.
What’s the difference between a pond and a lake? I think a in a pond sunlight reaches the bottom and in a lake it doesn’t. Size doesn’t matter.
[If a Lie Is Told Often Enough it Becomes “Fact”] One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back. ~Carl Sagan 1995


The history of Kingsford Charcoal is a classic American story. It all starts in 1919 when Edward G. Kingsford helped Henry Ford procure a stretch of timberland to supply wood for his auto plants. Link

[Lumber Prices Skyrocket] Lets make a deal. I own 2 4×8 by 5/8 sheets of plywood, and 10 Southern yellow pine 2x4s. Will trade for late model pick up, or hold a $42,000 mortgage for 15yrs at 9-1/4 %. No low balling offers please, I know what I’m holding. Call ready to deal.
Lord Admiral Nelson achieved victories, but at what a price were they purchased! The vision of an eye had been completely extinguished at Calvi; an arm totally lost at Teneriffe; and a hideous wound, leaving it’s indelible scar on his manly forehead. And a bullet to the heart at Trafalgar. He had been in four actions with the fleets of the enemy, and in three actions with boats employed in cutting out of harbour, in destroying vessels, and in taking three towns. He had served on shore with the army four months, and commanded the batteries at the sieges of Basti and Calvi: he had assisted at the capture of seven sail of the line, six frigates, four corvettes, and eleven privateers: taken and destroyed near fifty sail of merchant vessels, and actually been engaged against the enemy upwards of a hundred and twenty times.
[Alexa] I really enjoy Alexa!  Mainly as a radio that I can just call out what station I want played and then change it the same way, but you know ‘they’ can listen in anytime, and they do.  But this was a step too far.  Our brandy-new hi-speed internet started lagging yesterday, the day Amazon activated the “Sidewalk” programming.  Here’s what it does (besides dragging your wifi speed) and how to switch it OFF.  Yes, I did, and wifi response time improved instantly. Link